Life lessons

RendeR · 12-01-2009, 09:20 AM

As I turned 41 today I decided to make a lsit of things that I've learned over 4 decades....

1: Falling hurts, avoid this.
2: Fire burns, don't try to eat it.
3: Taking other people's candy makes them bery cranky.
4: Jumping off a 2nd floor hayloft onto gravel at age 5 is just dumb. Don't be THAT guy.
5: The voices are just in your head, no one else hears them.
6: Don't show up your classmates.
7: Don't show up your aunts and uncles when they don't get math.
8: Children are cruel.
9: Ice is slippery, don't slide on it in your underwear at 2am.
10: Running away from your problems never solves them.
11: Money isn't everything, its just a survival tool.
12: Ask for what you want, usually someone will help you.
13: Sports are good for you, partake often.
14: Foreign kids are far more mature than American kids.
15: When someone is throwing themselves at you, don't turn them away because you've got some stupid crush on someone else.
16: Excel at everything you do, average effort gets you a key to nowhere.
17: If you join the Military STAY SINGLE.
18: Don't get married until your at least 25.
19: If yer too stupid to follow lesson 18, at least wait to have kids till 25 or later.
20: READ Rules 18 and 19 AGAIN!
21: Drinking is fine, drinking just to get plastered and piss yourself is stupid.
22: Live for yourself, living for others only destroys who you are.
23: ENJOY YOURSELF!
24: Never trust strangers asking for money.
25: Always stick to your beliefs. Waffling just gets people hurt.
26: Its never too late to start over.
27: If you start over, don't lose those that are important to you in the process.
28: Younger Women love Older Men.
29: Younger women's PARENTS hate older men.
30: Never take a job with a company full of people you despise.
31: Never give up NEVER SURRENDER!
32: Know your limitations.
33: Always push to expand your limitations.
34: You're never too old to get an education.
35: Grow older, but never EVER grow up.
36: Money is just another trapping of society.
37: People are more important than things.
38: If you let the universe make you crazy, you've just joined everyone else.
39: Don't sweat the small shit.
40: EVERYTHING is small shit.
41: You're only as young as you feel inside. Laugh, live, enjoy the life you have.

Bring on another year. I'll kick its ass too!

Lathum · 12-01-2009, 09:26 AM

as a 34 year old full time college student I agree with 34 and 28.

41 huh, fuck you're old.

Kodos · 12-01-2009, 09:27 AM

42. Older women love younger men. Especially ones in stupid movies about vampires.

RendeR · 12-01-2009, 09:28 AM

Yeah I love you too Lathum

Bastard

RendeR · 12-01-2009, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

42. Older women love younger men. Especially ones in stupid movies about vampires.

Yeah I found an image of "Twilight Moms" while stumbling today, I posted it on my Facebook page. It reads "If these were 40 year old men screaming over 17 year old girls someone would call the police"

Passacaglia · 12-01-2009, 09:37 AM

43. Check the images thread.

Happy birthday!

CamEdwards · 12-01-2009, 10:10 AM

Happy birthday, RendeR. As you would expect, I don't agree with every item on your list (I completely disregarded #18 and #19 and wouldn't have it any other way, and #35 sounds like a really horrible way to go through life), but here's hoping your birthday is full of all kinds of RendeRific things.

DaddyTorgo · 12-01-2009, 10:12 AM

Happy bday!!!

DaddyTorgo · 12-01-2009, 10:13 AM

22: Live for yourself, living for others only destroys who you are.

-- TRU DAT!

RendeR · 12-01-2009, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamEdwards

Happy birthday, RendeR. As you would expect, I don't agree with every item on your list (I completely disregarded #18 and #19 and wouldn't have it any other way, and #35 sounds like a really horrible way to go through life), but here's hoping your birthday is full of all kinds of RendeRific things.

35 is about staying young at heart Cam, maturing is a necessity, but you never have to "grow up"

CamEdwards · 12-01-2009, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

35 is about staying young at heart Cam, maturing is a necessity, but you never have to "grow up"

I won't start an argument on your birthday.

Seriously, I hope it's a good one for you.

Lathum · 12-01-2009, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamEdwards

Happy birthday, RendeR. As you would expect, I don't agree with every item on your list (I completely disregarded #18 and #19 and wouldn't have it any other way, and #35 sounds like a really horrible way to go through life), but here's hoping your birthday is full of all kinds of RendeRific things.

I think it is awesome you have a great marriage but I do agree with Render. I think there would be far less divorce if people waited. I met my wife when I was 29, and I know there is no way I was ready for marriage at 25 let alone kids.

Sadly, I think you are the exception.

ISiddiqui · 12-01-2009, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

35 is about staying young at heart Cam, maturing is a necessity, but you never have to "grow up"

Agree wholeheartedly.

Oh, and #29 isn't always the case, btw...

Coffee Warlord · 12-01-2009, 10:56 AM

Quote:

39: Don't sweat the small shit.
40: EVERYTHING is small shit.

Utterly correct.

bob · 12-01-2009, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

I think there would be far less divorce if people waited.

I'm not sure if the stats are still the same, but in the last year or two I read that Connecticut had the lowest divorce rate and the highest average age at first marriage (29 and change). Maybe a fluke, maybe not.

JediKooter · 12-01-2009, 12:16 PM

Happy birthday! Kindly explain number 28 for me please. Either I'm just in the wrong town, doing it wrong or both.

Lathum · 12-01-2009, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Happy birthday! Kindly explain number 28 for me please. Either I'm just in the wrong town, doing it wrong or both.

Go back to college, I got invited to a party at a sorority house the other day the night before the apple cup. And the girl knew I was married.

JediKooter · 12-01-2009, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Go back to college, I got invited to a party at a sorority house the other day the night before the apple cup. And the girl knew I was married.

But are you fat and going bald? I can wear a hat, but, I can't suck in the gut for long periods of time. Funny you mention college though. I was talking to someone last week and said I should take a class or two because I always see more women there than anywhere else around here.

Lathum · 12-01-2009, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

But are you fat and going bald? I can wear a hat, but, I can't suck in the gut for long periods of time. Funny you mention college though. I was talking to someone last week and said I should take a class or two because I always see more women there than anywhere else around here.

No, I'm not fat or bald, but you can lose weight easily enough and your friend is correct, there is an insane number of hot women on a college campus.

Dr. Sak · 12-01-2009, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

No, I'm not fat or bald, but you can lose weight easily enough and your friend is correct, there is an insane number of hot women on a college campus.

You go to UW right?

Lathum · 12-01-2009, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

You go to UW right?

indeed

Noop · 12-01-2009, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

But are you fat and going bald?

Hairy chest and back included?

JediKooter · 12-01-2009, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

No, I'm not fat or bald, but you can lose weight easily enough and your friend is correct, there is an insane number of hot women on a college campus.

Definitely trying to lose the weight. I was thinking of switching over to the super model cocaine diet, because it is going rather slow.

JediKooter · 12-01-2009, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noop

Hairy chest and back included?

Kind of hairy chest. Not Chewbacca hairy though. Don't have a hairy back, though as I am getting older, hair is growing in places that, in my opinion, shouldn't be.

Noop · 12-01-2009, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Kind of hairy chest. Not Chewbacca hairy though. Don't have a hairy back, though as I am getting older, hair is growing in places that, in my opinion, shouldn't be.

Bro no matter your appearance you can definately land a pretty lady in your life.

Kodos · 12-01-2009, 01:22 PM

In general, I am unhairy in places where I would prefer to be unhairy, but I do get some rogue hairs growing out of my back. Sometimes in little clumps. You definitely get a little more body hair as you age. In general. I can't complain. Plus, I still have hair on my head, which is a plus since my paternal grandpa and father were bald. Thank god that comes from your maternal grandfather's side.

I need to drop 40 pounds though.

DanGarion · 12-01-2009, 02:25 PM

Happy B-day.

Cringer · 12-01-2009, 04:54 PM

Quote:

4: Jumping off a 2nd floor hayloft onto gravel at age 5 is just dumb. Don't be THAT guy.

I just wanted to throw in one more...

4-b. Don't roll up a leaf and shove it up one of your nostrils so far you can't get it out and your parents are not home so you have to go to the neighbor's house so she can pull it out with tweesers. Don't be that guy either.

Happy b-day RendeR

PadresFan104 · 12-01-2009, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

41: You're only as young as you feel inside. Laugh, live, enjoy the life you have.

I turned 41 this past October. Whenever someone tells me I'm "only as old as I feel" I feel like punching them in the stomach. Old is old. Period. My knees fracking hurt, my vision is diminishing, my hair is thinning, and my gut is expanding. But hey, I feel like a god damned 8th grader inside - I laugh at the Three Stooges and Spongebob, and I spend most of my disposable income on video games. Inside I feel great, but the effects of aging on the body really hit home at 40 and it royally, unequivocally, sucks balls. And it pisses me off to no end that whenever I bitch about it nobody wants to listen to it!! Apparently I need to adjust my outlook and appreciate my health and the life I have.

Needless to say, I am not handling the transition into middle age very well....

Senator · 12-01-2009, 08:48 PM

embrace the disposable income...

Antmeister · 12-01-2009, 08:52 PM

Excellent post and happy freaking birthday!

MrDNA · 12-02-2009, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

As I turned 41 today I decided to make a lsit of things that I've learned over 4 decades....
...

34: You're never too old to get an erection.

God bless modern medicine.

M GO BLUE!!! · 12-02-2009, 07:44 PM

Here's another one.

Every woman you couldn't wait to get rid of was once one that you couldn't wait to f*ck.

RendeR · 12-03-2009, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDNA

God bless modern medicine.

Better living through CHEMISTRY!

Rizon · 12-03-2009, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

18: Don't get married until your at least 25.

What about my at least 25?

RendeR · 12-03-2009, 01:25 PM

Grammar dorks exit through ===============================> that door.

12-01-2009, 09:28 AM	#4
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	Yeah I love you too Lathum Bastard __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

12-01-2009, 10:10 AM	#7
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	Happy birthday, RendeR. As you would expect, I don't agree with every item on your list (I completely disregarded #18 and #19 and wouldn't have it any other way, and #35 sounds like a really horrible way to go through life), but here's hoping your birthday is full of all kinds of RendeRific things. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

12-01-2009, 10:12 AM	#8
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Happy bday!!! __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

12-01-2009, 10:13 AM	#9
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	22: Live for yourself, living for others only destroys who you are. -- TRU DAT! __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

12-01-2009, 12:16 PM	#16
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Happy birthday! Kindly explain number 28 for me please. Either I'm just in the wrong town, doing it wrong or both. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

12-01-2009, 09:26 AM	#2
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	as a 34 year old full time college student I agree with 34 and 28. 41 huh, fuck you're old.

12-01-2009, 09:27 AM	#3
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	42. Older women love younger men. Especially ones in stupid movies about vampires. __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties.

12-01-2009, 09:37 AM	#6
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	43. Check the images thread. Happy birthday!

12-01-2009, 01:22 PM	#26
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	In general, I am unhairy in places where I would prefer to be unhairy, but I do get some rogue hairs growing out of my back. Sometimes in little clumps. You definitely get a little more body hair as you age. In general. I can't complain. Plus, I still have hair on my head, which is a plus since my paternal grandpa and father were bald. Thank god that comes from your maternal grandfather's side. I need to drop 40 pounds though. __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties.

12-01-2009, 02:25 PM	#27
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwest	Happy B-day. __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

12-01-2009, 08:48 PM	#30
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	embrace the disposable income... __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

12-01-2009, 08:52 PM	#31
Antmeister Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue	Excellent post and happy freaking birthday! __________________ "I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but don't fuck with me" - Schmidty "Box me once, shame on Skydog. Box me twice. Shame on me. Box me 3 times, just fucking ban my ass...." - stevew

12-02-2009, 07:44 PM	#33
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	Here's another one. Every woman you couldn't wait to get rid of was once one that you couldn't wait to f*ck.

12-03-2009, 01:25 PM	#36
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	Grammar dorks exit through ===============================> that door. __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

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