An NFL-related challenge

QuikSand · 12-05-2010, 02:13 PM

Your mission:

-select an NFL team in its current state, preferably a non-playoff team

-come up with the general outline for what you'd do with that team for the next couple years ahead

-express this as best you can in simple, Americanized haiku -- three lines, 5/7/5 syllables, no need to rhyme

No other real requirements, just convey what you want as best you can. Submissions will be judged on both the coherence of the team plan, and the artistry of the presentation.

Begin.

Axxon · 12-05-2010, 02:51 PM

The Tampa Bay Bucs.
Let young talent develop.
I'd just be patient.

Jughead Spock · 12-05-2010, 02:55 PM

The Oakland Raiders.
First, get rid of Al Davis...
Well, that's it, really.

QuikSand · 12-05-2010, 03:00 PM

Just in case I wasn't clear... one segment, 17 total syllables, that's your constraint here.

Comey · 12-05-2010, 03:45 PM

For the young Eagles,
shore up that secondary.
There's the door, Ellis.

JPhillips · 12-05-2010, 03:45 PM

What can Bengals do?
Leave Cincy, go to L.A.
Bengalize Cali.

Crapshoot · 12-05-2010, 03:47 PM

49ers by the bay,
Local, where Luck should stay,
offense stops decay

DanGarion · 12-05-2010, 07:04 PM

Buffalo Bills move
Southern California sun
Scares Away the Suck

digamma · 12-05-2010, 07:24 PM

Hand it to A.D.
Hand it to A.D. again.
Who cares who is Q?

Maple Leafs · 12-05-2010, 07:49 PM

Toronto Argos.
We're in the NFL now!
No more third down punts.

FF · 12-05-2010, 07:51 PM

jim schwartz, great hire
please find a secondary
and let cj stay healthy

Shkspr · 12-05-2010, 07:51 PM

Redskins need linemen.
Dan, finance Jurassic Park.
Can one clone a Hog?

Abe Sargent · 12-05-2010, 07:52 PM

Bye Peyton Manning
Hello to a new era Colts
You just need to cut

larrymcg421 · 12-05-2010, 08:20 PM

Fiedler, Green, Griese.
Both Chads. They all suck. Answer?
Clone Dan Marino.

Edited: Because I apparently cannot count.

stevew · 12-05-2010, 08:57 PM

Stop raping coeds
Fire Arians, draft linemen
run the fucking ball

jbergey22 · 12-05-2010, 09:10 PM

Childress Forgetten
Find a franchise quarterback
Lose a lot of games

fantom1979 · 12-05-2010, 09:43 PM

In Rex we believe
Sanchize to Holmes for seven
The shutdown island

Big Fo · 12-05-2010, 09:49 PM

Henne and Henning
Neither of them good enough
Let's make some changes

edit:

We'll go back in time
Choose Brees and not Culpepper
Fuck you, old regime

panerd · 12-05-2010, 10:08 PM

Oh Cincinnati
Quarterback not named Palmer. (Their backup is Carson's brother for those who were unaware

)
Is this possible?

Comey · 12-05-2010, 11:45 PM

Oh Ellis, with you
on injured reserve I find
myself cursing less.

EagleFan · 12-05-2010, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digamma

Hand it to A.D.
Hand it to A.D. again.
Who cares who is Q?

Who is A.D.?

SackAttack · 12-06-2010, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EagleFan

Who is A.D.?

Probably Adrian "All Day" Peterson.

Subby · 12-06-2010, 10:44 AM

There once was a man
From Nantucket whose dick
Kill Dan Snyder now

larrymcg421 · 12-06-2010, 10:55 AM

Manning's in a slump
But don't forget who he is
Let's calm the fuck down.

revrew · 12-06-2010, 11:13 AM

So far, I'm liking jphillips "Bengalize Cali" (style points for unexpected rhyme, creation of new verb that may stick in the NFL dictionary) and larrymcg for laugh-out-loud "Let's calm the fuck down".

Ksyrup · 12-06-2010, 11:22 AM

Shit-can McDaniels
I don't care what you do next
Just please fire the prick

Bisbo · 12-06-2010, 11:32 AM

Tie Dan Snyder down
Haynesworth: sit on Dan Snyder
Til he cannot breathe.

albionmoonlight · 12-06-2010, 11:33 AM

Washington Redskins
Sign All-Pros for twenty-twelve
Not two-thousand four

digamma · 12-06-2010, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SackAttack

Probably Adrian "All Day" Peterson.

Yes.

TroyF · 12-06-2010, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Shit-can McDaniels
I don't care what you do next
Just please fire the prick

winner

Ksyrup · 12-06-2010, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TroyF

winner

My other one was:

What the fuck Denver?
Lock-out should begin right now
This team is a joke

PackerFanatic · 12-06-2010, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

Washington Redskins
Sign All-Pros for twenty-twelve
Not two-thousand four

This is a good one.

johnnyshaka · 12-06-2010, 01:13 PM

Open the vault for Vick
Pal for Samuel is the trick
Tight end would be slick

EagleFan · 12-06-2010, 01:18 PM

Sure up the O-Line
Open Check book for Michael Vick
Learn Clock Management

TroyF · 12-06-2010, 01:23 PM

Here was mine:

Our draft for Tebow
Hillis and a pick for Quinn
You are an ass Josh

I understand the contest is meant for the next two years. . . but until we can this idiot, we can forget the next two year.

molson · 12-06-2010, 01:45 PM

Reload, Belichick
And if that does not work then-
Cheat like a ‘mofo

JAG · 12-06-2010, 03:41 PM

Panthers need Luck to
rebuild. Stop trading picks to
Eagles, Patriots.

Not that anyone asked, but I liked albionmoonlight's best.

MIJB#19 · 12-06-2010, 04:20 PM

Come to Rotterdam
International Series
That 'll be awesome

Ksyrup · 12-06-2010, 06:39 PM

So...if I request sex from my wife tonight in the form of a haiku, I wonder if she'll give it up?

SO LONG, JOSH!!!

tarcone · 12-06-2010, 06:58 PM

Tebow throws the ball
Moreno runs behind line
Broncos win again

panerd · 12-06-2010, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Shit-can McDaniels
I don't care what you do next
Just please fire the prick

They must read FOFC.

Josh McDaniels fired as head coach of Denver Broncos - ESPN

EagleFan · 12-06-2010, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

So...if I request sex from my wife tonight in the form of a haiku, I wonder if she'll give it up?

SO LONG, JOSH!!!

You win this thread hands down!!! Talk about ask and ye shall receive.

Ksyrup · 12-07-2010, 06:55 AM

As a final indignity tied to Josh Fuckface McDaniels, my fantasy team went from 3rd seed in the playoffs going into the final weekend of the regular season to 7th seed and out of the playoffs primarily because Kyle Orton and Brandon Lloyd combined for like 5 points on Sunday. Unbelievable. That fucker will probably steal my kids' Christmas presents on his way back to live in Belichick's asshole, too.

Maple Leafs · 12-07-2010, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Fo

We'll go back in time
Choose Brees and not Culpepper
Fuck you, old regime

There's a time machine?
Can we use it when you're done?
Rodgers over Smith.

albionmoonlight · 12-08-2010, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Fo

We'll go back in time
Choose Brees and not Culpepper
Fuck you, old regime

New Orleans fan here
I will buy great big hammer
Break your time machine

12-05-2010, 02:51 PM	#2
Axxon Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	The Tampa Bay Bucs. Let young talent develop. I'd just be patient. __________________ There are no houris, alas, in our heaven. Last edited by Axxon : 12-05-2010 at 03:11 PM.

12-05-2010, 03:45 PM	#5
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	For the young Eagles, shore up that secondary. There's the door, Ellis. __________________

12-05-2010, 03:45 PM	#6
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	What can Bengals do? Leave Cincy, go to L.A. Bengalize Cali. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

12-05-2010, 03:47 PM	#7
Crapshoot Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Dec 2003	49ers by the bay, Local, where Luck should stay, offense stops decay Last edited by Crapshoot : 12-05-2010 at 03:53 PM.

12-05-2010, 07:04 PM	#8
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwest	Buffalo Bills move Southern California sun Scares Away the Suck __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

12-05-2010, 02:55 PM	#3
Jughead Spock High School Varsity Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Lowcountry, SC	The Oakland Raiders. First, get rid of Al Davis... Well, that's it, really.

12-05-2010, 03:00 PM	#4
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	Just in case I wasn't clear... one segment, 17 total syllables, that's your constraint here.

12-05-2010, 07:24 PM	#9
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	Hand it to A.D. Hand it to A.D. again. Who cares who is Q?

12-05-2010, 07:49 PM	#10
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	Toronto Argos. We're in the NFL now! No more third down punts. __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

12-05-2010, 07:51 PM	#11
FF Mascot Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Michigan, USA	jim schwartz, great hire please find a secondary and let cj stay healthy __________________ i've somehow gotten a computer

12-05-2010, 07:51 PM	#12
Shkspr College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Amarillo, TX	Redskins need linemen. Dan, finance Jurassic Park. Can one clone a Hog?

12-05-2010, 07:52 PM	#13
Abe Sargent Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Catonsville, MD	Bye Peyton Manning Hello to a new era Colts You just need to cut __________________ Check out my two current weekly Magic columns! https://www.coolstuffinc.com/a/?action=search&page=1&author[]=Abe%20Sargent

12-05-2010, 08:20 PM	#14
larrymcg421 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia	Fiedler, Green, Griese. Both Chads. They all suck. Answer? Clone Dan Marino. Edited: Because I apparently cannot count. __________________ Top 10 Songs of the Year 1955-Present (1976 Added) Franchise Portfolio Draft Winner Fictional Character Draft Winner Television Family Draft Winner Build Your Own Hollywood Studio Draft Winner Last edited by larrymcg421 : 12-05-2010 at 08:28 PM.

12-05-2010, 08:57 PM	#15
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Stop raping coeds Fire Arians, draft linemen run the fucking ball

12-05-2010, 09:10 PM	#16
jbergey22 Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Minnesota	Childress Forgetten Find a franchise quarterback Lose a lot of games

12-05-2010, 09:43 PM	#17
fantom1979 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Sterling Heights, Mi	In Rex we believe Sanchize to Holmes for seven The shutdown island

12-05-2010, 09:49 PM	#18
Big Fo Pro Rookie Join Date: Jan 2005	Henne and Henning Neither of them good enough Let's make some changes edit: We'll go back in time Choose Brees and not Culpepper Fuck you, old regime Last edited by Big Fo : 12-05-2010 at 09:53 PM.

12-05-2010, 10:08 PM	#19
panerd Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: St. Louis	Oh Cincinnati Quarterback not named Palmer. (Their backup is Carson's brother for those who were unaware ) Is this possible?

12-05-2010, 11:45 PM	#20
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	Oh Ellis, with you on injured reserve I find myself cursing less. __________________

12-06-2010, 10:44 AM	#23
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	There once was a man From Nantucket whose dick Kill Dan Snyder now __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

12-06-2010, 10:55 AM	#24
larrymcg421 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia	Manning's in a slump But don't forget who he is Let's calm the fuck down. __________________ Top 10 Songs of the Year 1955-Present (1976 Added) Franchise Portfolio Draft Winner Fictional Character Draft Winner Television Family Draft Winner Build Your Own Hollywood Studio Draft Winner

12-06-2010, 11:13 AM	#25
revrew Team Chaplain Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA	So far, I'm liking jphillips "Bengalize Cali" (style points for unexpected rhyme, creation of new verb that may stick in the NFL dictionary) and larrymcg for laugh-out-loud "Let's calm the fuck down". __________________ Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.

12-06-2010, 11:22 AM	#26
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Shit-can McDaniels I don't care what you do next Just please fire the prick __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-06-2010, 11:32 AM	#27
Bisbo H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Mar 2006	Tie Dan Snyder down Haynesworth: sit on Dan Snyder Til he cannot breathe.

12-06-2010, 11:33 AM	#28
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	Washington Redskins Sign All-Pros for twenty-twelve Not two-thousand four

12-06-2010, 01:13 PM	#33
johnnyshaka College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Edmonton, AB	Open the vault for Vick Pal for Samuel is the trick Tight end would be slick

12-06-2010, 01:18 PM	#34
EagleFan Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Mays Landing, NJ USA	Sure up the O-Line Open Check book for Michael Vick Learn Clock Management __________________ The EagleFan YouTube Channel - Reactions Soarin' & Scratchin' YouTube Channel - We react to music, videos, TV, we talk, we are planning some field trips Soarin' & Soothin' - Meditation, Relaxation, and Sleep Aid; mental health is important

12-06-2010, 01:23 PM	#35
TroyF Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Here was mine: Our draft for Tebow Hillis and a pick for Quinn You are an ass Josh I understand the contest is meant for the next two years. . . but until we can this idiot, we can forget the next two year.

12-06-2010, 01:45 PM	#36
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	Reload, Belichick And if that does not work then- Cheat like a ‘mofo

12-06-2010, 03:41 PM	#37
JAG Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: St. Paul, MN	Panthers need Luck to rebuild. Stop trading picks to Eagles, Patriots. Not that anyone asked, but I liked albionmoonlight's best.

12-06-2010, 04:20 PM	#38
MIJB#19 Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands	Come to Rotterdam International Series That 'll be awesome __________________ * 2005 Golden Scribe winner for best FOF Dynasty about IHOF's Maassluis Merchantmen * Former GM of GEFL's Houston Oilers and WOOF's Curacao Cocktail

12-06-2010, 06:39 PM	#39
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	So...if I request sex from my wife tonight in the form of a haiku, I wonder if she'll give it up? SO LONG, JOSH!!! __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

12-06-2010, 06:58 PM	#40
tarcone Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pacific	Tebow throws the ball Moreno runs behind line Broncos win again Last edited by tarcone : 12-06-2010 at 06:58 PM.

12-07-2010, 06:55 AM	#43
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	As a final indignity tied to Josh Fuckface McDaniels, my fantasy team went from 3rd seed in the playoffs going into the final weekend of the regular season to 7th seed and out of the playoffs primarily because Kyle Orton and Brandon Lloyd combined for like 5 points on Sunday. Unbelievable. That fucker will probably steal my kids' Christmas presents on his way back to live in Belichick's asshole, too. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

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