Prayers and good thoughts request

[Suburban Rhythm]

I am not normally the kind to express these sorts of things here, but just want to get some thoughts out I guess.

We got a call last night that nobody ever wants to get. Mrs. SR's cousin was 25, and in the past year or so had a pretty rough time, and felt the only answer was suicide.

He was a middle school teacher, and from what I could tell really loved his job. Late 2009 he was busted with a forged Rx for pain killers. His parents were devastated, as was the rest of the family. He wasn't the perfect kid, but never caught up in anything like this before. He entered a treatment program, and by all accounts had turned the corner. I talked to him a few times briefly and exchanged texts some in the last 10 months. He was still living at a group home.

Nobody is really sure what happened at this point...and honestly it's doubtful we ever will.

But if anyone can spare some good thoughts for his parents I'd appreciate it. They are truly two of the sincerely nice people I've ever met. And right now are left wondering what happened and where they go from here.

RIP Chris

[M GO BLUE!!!]

RIP Chris.

Too bad you didn't know how valuable what you had truly was.

[Bad-example]

Sad news.

[DaddyTorgo]

Whoa - my thoughts are with you SR

[CleBrownsfan]

Thoughts are with you and your family SR

[BigDPW]

So sorry to hear that SR. I am praying for your family.

[RainMaker]

Very sorry to hear that. Thoughts are with you and your family.

[Eaglesfan27]

Tragic. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[terpkristin]

How awful. I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts.

[Lathum]

Sorry to hear SR.

I have been public here in the past about my Brother in Laws suicide. It is a really hard thing to deal with and having to watch my sister deal with it was extremely difficult. All I can say is that his parents will go through a range of emotions, from anger to sadness to guilt. They need to get therapy to learn how to deal with those emotions and over time the pain will lessen.

My prayers are with you and them on what will be a long and tough journey.

[tyketime]

I am very sorry to hear this. I will certainly send good thoughts & prayers to you & your family.

[samifan24]

You and your family are in our prayers, SR.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Tonight was pretty rough at the viewing. After much debate, we took our kids, 6 and 4.

Last time they said him was late March. He and his parents were here so I could do their taxes. We got a ton of pictures of the kids with Chris jumping on the trampoline.

At the funeral home, they have a DVD of pictures playing. So we are watching the pictures, my daughter is naming everyone in the pictures. One of the pics...the 3 of them on the trampoline. " hey daddy, there is us and Chris...is he here?"

My wife and I lost it.

Our son's not really grasping any of it, our daughter a little more.

The parents and sister are taking pretty rough, as expected. We are considering sending our daughter to school and son to my parents for the day, not sure if it will too much for them.

[Dr. Sak]

Just reading this now...sorry to hear about this SR. You and your family will be in my prayers.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Wow. Sorry to here this, SR. All the best to you and your family. Hang in there, man.

[JediKooter]

Really sorry to hear about this. My condolences to you and your family.

[Dodgerchick]

Aww man, so sad. Thoughts and prayers on their way.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Thanks everyone for their thoughts. Yesterday was pretty rough, but also I heard a number of great stories from people who only had met him a handful of times, or only knew him from the past few months.

Local article on Chris' death

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/vall.../s_702807.html

Link updated now.

[Suburban Rhythm]

So I originally intended to re-visit and post here when/if we ever found out more information.

The things I post here...I apologize, because I really don't know what to make out of any of the things I found out today. Some makes me sad, alot makes me angry...and parts make me feel like I am completely delusional.


If you are interested in the full background of the story:

Original story
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/vall.../s_676400.html

Followup story
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/vall.../s_677667.html

Story from last month
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pitt.../s_702807.html

More to follow in another post

[Chief Rum]

Sorry to see this, SR. The story seems to be abit vague--was it concretely determined Chris committed suicide? I'm sorry you and your family had to go through this.

Really shoddy journalism at the start, BTW. The lede graf (using the anonynous lede tactic common in these news stories) described Chris's arrest as being on "drug charges", which, while true, is misleading, because it leads one to think he's peddling drugs to kids or what not, or so it seems to me.

It should have been made clearer that Chris was a teacher suffering from an addiction.

As a former reporter, I understand removing the emotion, but accuracy and clarity are even more important.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Here is what I know so far (getting this all from my wife through texts)

1) He was never clean, he'd continued using after his treatment-- this part makes me a little sad and a little angry. He had a problem, we knew what. He received help. Then he threw away his chance.

2) The house he was living in (article refers to it as a 3/4 house) was a sham. Most of the people there were still using and/or supplying. This house came RECOMMENDED by the treatment center!

3) The treatment center did not followup after his release. He was clean at the end of the program, never tested again.

4) The last article refers to the gf he was planning to marry, who is a nurse. Also a user. I questioned how could she not see, as a professional, that he was still using. I guess the answer is she saw, just that it didn't bother her.

So, those things are bothersome...and they hurt. Feels like everything was a huge lie.

If that was the end of it, I'd be hurt and shocked still...but over it.
Now for the goofy stuff (yeah, the stuff above is the "normal" stuff)

I don't typically believe in psychics, the paranormal, etc...but some of this stuff is blowing my mind.

The mom and dad started receiving texts...FROM CHRIS' PHONE! WTF
They reviewed his phone...and there they are, in the sent messages.

They left the phone on for awhile, and watched it dial numbers. Took it to Verizon to see if there was some logical explanation. Verizon is stumped.

So, the mom goes to a psychic...who told her things that not in a million years people would know, for example-

The first day of the viewing, Mom said she didn't like the way his hair looked, asked that they fix it to appear as it the pictures in the casket.
The psychic said "Chris said thank you for fixing his hair."

A few other items discussed there (debating on posting here) that, again, we didn't know as family, and the psychic was repeating to her.

Hands down, the goofiest thing I have ever been involved in.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Sorry to see this, SR. The story seems to be abit vague--was it concretely determined Chris committed suicide? I'm sorry you and your family had to go through this.

Really shoddy journalism at the start, BTW. The lede graf (using the anonynous lede tactic common in these news stories) described Chris's arrest as being on "drug charges", which, while true, is misleading, because it leads one to think he's peddling drugs to kids or what not, or so it seems to me.

It should have been made clearer that Chris was a teacher suffering from an addiction.

As a former reporter, I understand removing the emotion, but accuracy and clarity are even more important.

Yeah, many people had the same initial reaction of teacher + drug charges = pushing on the kids.

I won't defend what he did, but there is, in my mind, a huge difference between being addicted himself, and "infecting" others with the same.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

So I originally intended to re-visit and post here when/if we ever found out more information.

The things I post here...I apologize, because I really don't know what to make out of any of the things I found out today. Some makes me sad, alot makes me angry...and parts make me feel like I am completely delusional.


If you are interested in the full background of the story:

Original story
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/vall.../s_676400.html

Followup story
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/vall.../s_677667.html

Story from last month
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pitt.../s_702807.html

More to follow in another post

FWIW - I know how sad/angry you've got to be feeling. My best friend's father committed suicide by burning down his warehouse where his business was while he was out on bail for a crime that was like...completely kept out of the papers, so nobody really knew about it until after he was dead and it came out (except the family of course).

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Sorry to see this, SR. The story seems to be abit vague--was it concretely determined Chris committed suicide?

Meant to add this in my long post.

What they are calling it is "accidental OD". I guess this is based on that he was still using, therefore it was not an intentional act, or suicide.

[Chief Rum]

Wow, well, then, you could make a case that the treatment center and the operators of the halfway house are criminally liable. If they had a stated responsibility to test him and to keep drugs from him, then to allow an evironment where he was able to continue to procure drugs is negligence to a criminal level in the matter of his ODing, IMO.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Wow, well, then, you could make a case that the treatment center and the operators of the halfway house are criminally liable. If they had a stated responsibility to test him and to keep drugs from him, then to allow an evironment where he was able to continue to procure drugs is negligence to a criminal level in the matter of his ODing, IMO.

The more we are finding out, the house was a sham. The stories of multiple people there have changed numerous times. Same with the girlfriend.

His dad is meeting with people at the treatment facility next week. I don't know the specifics of followup testing, but he was sort of steered toward this house. The majority of people there are/were still using.

Issue there is, it was not a halfway house...article referred to it as a three-quarters house. I don't think it was "operated" by anyone.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Wanted to bump this just to share some news we found out over the last few days.

We got to see Chris's parents a couple times over the last week. By all accounts, they are doing OK...going to counseling. Dad (my wife's uncle) is back to work, which I think is helping some.

Unfortunately, in the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas Mom lost her dad as well. Not a total shock, he was 91, but sort of was just piling on with everything else. She's still taking things pretty rough. Although, I think it was good having our kids over their place, making some noise in the house for a change, giving her a little bit to smile about.

But the real news came when we met them for dinner.

They have been in semi-regular contact with Chris's girlfriend. She wanted to see them during the holidays...and let them know she's pregnant!

I immediately started looking at everything through a cynical eye-- is she still using? Is this a money grab? and, God forbid, is it Chris's baby? But they said she's been real upfront with everything. She's said flat out she doesn't expect money, but would like them to be in the baby's life.

So, while it won't ever bring Chris back, we may get a little bit of him back in about 6 months.

[tyketime]

Wow... what a turn of events. I hope she turns out to be on the up & up. If she screws around with the family, I can only imagine how that might turn out. I hope she is taking care of herself (whoever the father really is, the baby deserves no less than a fighting chance). Thanks for the update.

By the way - no one ever commented on the psychic angle. I wonder if people are just too jaded, freaked out, or what it is? Sometimes that stuff is a sham. In other cases, it's hard not to believe that there is some "connection" happening.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by tyketime

By the way - no one ever commented on the psychic angle. I wonder if people are just too jaded, freaked out, or what it is? Sometimes that stuff is a sham. In other cases, it's hard not to believe that there is some "connection" happening.

I am what you would call a "cynic", but I just read this whole thread and found that tidbit thrown out pretty interesting.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by tyketime

Wow... what a turn of events. I hope she turns out to be on the up & up. If she screws around with the family, I can only imagine how that might turn out. I hope she is taking care of herself (whoever the father really is, the baby deserves no less than a fighting chance). Thanks for the update.

By the way - no one ever commented on the psychic angle. I wonder if people are just too jaded, freaked out, or what it is? Sometimes that stuff is a sham. In other cases, it's hard not to believe that there is some "connection" happening.

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

I am what you would call a "cynic", but I just read this whole thread and found that tidbit thrown out pretty interesting.

I am a cynic too...I really didn't want to believe any of it. And still don't.

While we were at dinner, the mom got a text, dated something totally of the wall like June 10, 1987...so everything points to an issue with the phone. But why from Chris's phone? And why only now?

And the thing with the psychic about fixing his hair. My wife was there, she was the person the mom said it to about getting his hair fixed. How in the world anyone could put that out of the air and say that to her still blows my mind. I don't want to believe it...but I have no other explanation.

[molson]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

I am a cynic too...I really didn't want to believe any of it. And still don't.

While we were at dinner, the mom got a text, dated something totally of the wall like June 10, 1987...so everything points to an issue with the phone. But why from Chris's phone? And why only now?

And the thing with the psychic about fixing his hair. My wife was there, she was the person the mom said it to about getting his hair fixed. How in the world anyone could put that out of the air and say that to her still blows my mind. I don't want to believe it...but I have no other explanation.

I can believe it. Why not? I don't believe that he's still a concious thoughtful being, with his "brain" somehow working as it did when alive, looking down on everything, but maybe there's some kind human energy that isn't extinguished immediately (or ever).

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by molson

I can believe it. Why not? I don't believe that he's still a concious thoughtful being, with his "brain" somehow working as it did when alive, looking down on everything, but maybe there's some kind human energy that isn't extinguished immediately (or ever).

I was in the cynic group until about 2 years ago when my friends dad passed away. Of course my buddy was devastated and a few days after the funeral he was looking through his phone and found a picture he had taken of his father at a Hockey game, the last time his father was able to get out.

In the picture his Dad is sitting there, with his arms on the seats arm rests smiling. When you zoom the picture in, his father is giving a thumbs up sign, as if to say I am alright. My friend remembers taking the picture and he said his Dad was definitely not giving the thumbs up when he snapped it and it is apparent he is not when looking at the normal size photo.

I don't know where I stand after that event but I now know I would never rule anything like that out, there was just no plausible explanation how a picture could change.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

But the real news came when we met them for dinner.

They have been in semi-regular contact with Chris's girlfriend. She wanted to see them during the holidays...and let them know she's pregnant!

I immediately started looking at everything through a cynical eye-- is she still using? Is this a money grab? and, God forbid, is it Chris's baby? But they said she's been real upfront with everything. She's said flat out she doesn't expect money, but would like them to be in the baby's life.

So, while it won't ever bring Chris back, we may get a little bit of him back in about 6 months.

Bumping again.

Baby was born last night...and named after Chris. My kids are pretty excited to meet him.

As far as we know, Chris's Mom and Dad are going to be regularly involved in the baby's life. They were at the hospital last night, so everything seems to be on the up-and-up at this point. I hope this girl does the right thing.

[SirFozzie]

Good to hear, SR.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by SirFozzie

Good to hear, SR.

+1