My Bologna Has A First Name...

Ksyrup · 11-24-2003, 10:42 AM

...it's C-A-R-S-E-A-T!

Load Of Illegal Bologna Seized At Texas-Mexico Border

POSTED: 9:44 a.m. EST November 24, 2003

EL PASO, Texas -- Border agents last week landed a meaty bust, seizing 756 pounds of bologna arranged into the shape of a car seat and covered with blankets in a man's pickup.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers seized 81 rolls of Mexican bologna Friday at the Paso Del Norte bridge as the pickup entered the United States.

"It puts the ultimate consumer at risk," said customs spokesman Roger Maier. "Who knows how long these products have gone without refrigeration or without proper handling?"

Children were sitting on top of the illegal load before it was discovered, Maier said. The rear seat had been removed from the extended-cab pickup and the bologna was put in its place.

He said the agency plans to pursue civil penalties against the Mexican man driving the truck. Maier said the agency won't release the man's name until the case goes to trial.

Maier said the bologna goes for about $1 a roll in Juarez. When it is sold to a customer in the United States, it can go for between $5 and $10 a roll , he said.

Link

John Galt · 11-24-2003, 10:51 AM

That is absolutely hilarious. I can see people scheming on how to make money and one guy says, "See what we do is take a bunch of bologna and shape it like a car seat . . . ."

KevinNU7 · 11-24-2003, 10:58 AM

Lunch time!

QuikSand · 11-24-2003, 10:58 AM

Two quick thoughts:

#1 - "756 pounds of bologna arranged into the shape of a car seat " - I just cannot seem to get myself to comprehend this statement, somethig liek the conversation we had not too long ago about the infinite/finite universe concept.

#2 - "said customs spokesman Roger Maier." You think Maier got this assignment by chance? Or do you think his bologna has a second name, if you will?

QuikSand · 11-24-2003, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ksyrup
Maier said the bologna goes for about $1 a roll in Juarez. When it is sold to a customer in the United States, it can go for between $5 and $10 a roll , he said.

There's something to this statement... but I'm not entirely sure what that is. Might be a point about international trade, I'm not sure. Might intead be about effete American snobbery, too.

CamEdwards · 11-24-2003, 11:01 AM

wtf?

I've been wondering why my black market bologna hadn't arrived yet.

Ksyrup · 11-24-2003, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by QuikSand
#2 - "said customs spokesman Roger Maier." You think Maier got this assignment by chance? Or do you think his bologna has a second name, if you will?

I don't think it is a coincidence. This guy seems to know waaaaay too much about bologna.

I just hope that car had an air conditioner. Can you imagine what baked bologna (sprinkled with kid's ass) smells like?

JeeberD · 11-24-2003, 11:41 AM

Yay! Lets hear it for those hard working El Paso Border Patrol agents!!!

I wonder how many cars they let through that were carrying drugs across the border when they were searching the Bologna-mobile?

B & B · 11-24-2003, 12:38 PM

When you think of illegal shipments of low grade processed meats into the United States, you think TEXAS!

Bonegavel · 11-24-2003, 12:42 PM

Meanwhile, as they are processing this guy, 10 truckloads of weed passed through undetected.

WSUCougar · 11-24-2003, 01:02 PM

Here's a photo of the impounded vehicle:

primelord · 11-24-2003, 01:06 PM

Come on guys!!!!! We really need to be better at marking threads work safe!!! I can't just have pictures of giant wiener mobiles popping up all over the place.

WSUCougar · 11-24-2003, 01:08 PM

I reduced the image for you, prime. I realized that the wiener was just WAY too big.

primelord · 11-24-2003, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WSUCougar
I reduced the image for you, prime. I realized that the wiener was just WAY too big.

In case I failed to properly imply sarcasm in my last statement. I was only kidding.

WSUCougar · 11-24-2003, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by primelord
In case I failed to properly imply sarcasm in my last statement. I was only kidding.

...and in case I failed to properly imply sexual innuendo, I was only behaving like an 8th grader.

primelord · 11-24-2003, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WSUCougar
...and in case I failed to properly imply sexual innuendo, I was only behaving like an 8th grader.

Fair enough.

CamEdwards · 11-24-2003, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bonegavel
Meanwhile, as they are processing this guy, 10 truckloads of weed passed through undetected.

What's the bigger problem in America... drugs or obesity?

WSUCougar · 11-24-2003, 03:58 PM

Isn't it time someone mentioned head cheese in this thread?

sterlingice · 11-24-2003, 04:30 PM

There's something to be said for smuggling bologna across the border. Are the crack, heroin, and automatic weapon markets so saturated that people have to start smuggling bologna?

DAMN YOU, NAFTA!

SI

mrskippy · 11-24-2003, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ksyrup
[b]
Children were sitting on top of the illegal load before it was discovered

So that's why that stuff tastes like shit.

11-24-2003, 10:58 AM	#3
KevinNU7 College Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Beantown	Lunch time! __________________ Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)

11-24-2003, 11:01 AM	#6
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	wtf? I've been wondering why my black market bologna hadn't arrived yet. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

11-24-2003, 11:41 AM	#8
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Yay! Lets hear it for those hard working El Paso Border Patrol agents!!! I wonder how many cars they let through that were carrying drugs across the border when they were searching the Bologna-mobile? __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

11-24-2003, 12:38 PM	#9
B & B College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: A sports era long ago when everything didnt require a Nike logo	When you think of illegal shipments of low grade processed meats into the United States, you think TEXAS! __________________ Nobody cares about Kyle Orton because he's black. -PT

11-24-2003, 12:42 PM	#10
Bonegavel Awaiting Further Instructions... Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Macungie, PA	Meanwhile, as they are processing this guy, 10 truckloads of weed passed through undetected. __________________

11-24-2003, 10:51 AM	#2
John Galt Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Internets	That is absolutely hilarious. I can see people scheming on how to make money and one guy says, "See what we do is take a bunch of bologna and shape it like a car seat . . . ." __________________ I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man. - The Dude

11-24-2003, 10:58 AM	#4
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	Two quick thoughts: #1 - "756 pounds of bologna arranged into the shape of a car seat " - I just cannot seem to get myself to comprehend this statement, somethig liek the conversation we had not too long ago about the infinite/finite universe concept. #2 - "said customs spokesman Roger Maier." You think Maier got this assignment by chance? Or do you think his bologna has a second name, if you will?

11-24-2003, 01:02 PM	#11
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Here's a photo of the impounded vehicle: __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage. Last edited by WSUCougar : 11-24-2003 at 01:08 PM.

11-24-2003, 01:06 PM	#12
primelord Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000	Come on guys!!!!! We really need to be better at marking threads work safe!!! I can't just have pictures of giant wiener mobiles popping up all over the place. __________________ .

11-24-2003, 01:08 PM	#13
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	I reduced the image for you, prime. I realized that the wiener was just WAY too big. __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage. Last edited by WSUCougar : 11-24-2003 at 01:09 PM.

11-24-2003, 03:58 PM	#18
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Isn't it time someone mentioned head cheese in this thread? __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

11-24-2003, 04:30 PM	#19
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	There's something to be said for smuggling bologna across the border. Are the crack, heroin, and automatic weapon markets so saturated that people have to start smuggling bologna? DAMN YOU, NAFTA! SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

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