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Old 09-18-2015, 01:04 AM   #1
Vince, Pt. II
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere More Familiar
IWS #234 Results

Had a lot of fun running this, and watching the answers trickle in. Let's get right to it:

1. Stupid has been working at his job for a while now. It's a good, steady job - nothing to hate about it, but it's not his dream job. What IS his dream job?

Athlete - 4
NFL GM - 3
Football Coach - 2
Quarterback - 2
Professional football player - 2
Porn Star - 2
General Manager - 2
Work for an NFL team
Google
Stock Broker
Philanthropist

A nice spread here - I should have known it would trend toward football, especially since the season just began. Generic answer wins the day, though it's interesting to note that none of our top five picked the #1 answer here. Somewhat surprised Google only garnered one vote.

2. While Stupid's daydreaming about said dream job, he gets a job offer. It isn't his dream job either, but there IS a pay increase involved. How much of a pay increase does Stupid need to consider shaking things up?

10% - 8
25% - 4
20% - 4
$10,000 - 3
$25,000
$100 / Month

I left this specifically vague, hoping to get more of a split between a monetary value and a percentage (many of you noted this in your responses). Stupid definitely likes his good old round numbers. Another question where the top entry did not pick the #1 answer.


3. After looking over the offer, he realizes that the pay increase is reasonable enough. Unfortunately, the new job will involve a slightly longer commute. How long of a commute is too long for Stupid to consider the new job?

1 hour - 17
30 minutes - 3
2 hours

Pure eliminator. Not much to say here - if you didn't hit the 1 hour mark, you were out of the running. We DID have a top ten entrant who missed this one...don't worry though - you were only good for second place had you picked the right one


4. Upon further review, the pay and the commute are 'good enough,' but he realizes it's the terribly annoying habit of his co-worker in the cubicle next to him has that really pushes him to respond with interest to the job offer. What's the annoying habit of his current cubicle neighbor?

Talks too loud - 6
Loud phone conversations - 3
Very loud - 2
Singing - 2
Eating at his desk - 2
Throat clearing
Talks politics
Clicks pens
Chewing gum with his mouth open
Slob
Playing the radio at a reasonable level while collating

It was a toss up between this and the next question for which was my favorite. I think this one wins out. Stupid really likes his peace and quiet at his desk. At first I grouped up all the 'loud' answers...but then I realized that everyone was quite specific in their answers, and someone who simply talks loud is very different than someone who is loud on the phone. I chuckled at the Office Space reference, nicely done.


5. Stupid replies to the job offer, says he's interested, but wants to hear more. The company replies eagerly, and points out an interesting, non-monetary, non-benefit related perk to working for them. What is the perk?

Free food - 5
Tickets - 3
Company Car - 3
Work from home - 2
Casual Friday / Casual Dress - 2
Free Parking - 2
Health Club
Foosball Table
Daily nap time
Happy Ending

Another smattering of answers here, Stupid's stomach wins out. I totally didn't even think about the health club answer, and was again surprised to see only one entry with it when all was said and done.


6. Enough is enough. Stupid accepts the job offer! What's his new title?

Vice President - 5
CEO - 3
Manager - 3
Project Manager - 2
Consultant - 2
President
Senior Analyst
Head Coach
Senior Manager
Operations Manager
HNIC

Despite only getting a 10% raise, free food, and coming out of a cubicle...Stupid is now VP. I was surprised that the generic 'manager' didn't get more love here.

Drumroll please...the results!

Janitorial Consultant
MIJB#19 - 18
timmae - 90
EagleFan - 102

Consultant
stevew - 408
Chief Rum - 480
PurdueBrad - 544
Abe Sargent - 612
QuikSand - 816

Manager
EaglesFan27 - 1,088
Subby - 1,632
Alf - 2,040
Umbrella - 2,160
albionmoonlight - 3,264
JeeberD - 3,672
nilodor - 4,080

VP
Logan - 6,528
Pyser - 6,800
claphasma - 7,344

President
britrock88 - 9,792

CEO
cartman - 12,240

The winner, and your new IWS champion:

HNIC
Barkeep49 - 15,300


Congrats!


Last edited by Vince, Pt. II : 09-18-2015 at 01:43 AM.
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:24 AM   #2
Alf
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Join Date: Jan 2001
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I don't see my name in the list of losers, maybe I was too bad that my score did not compute
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:26 AM   #3
Abe Sargent
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Location: Catonsville, MD
Congrats BK!


I have a question. You have 19 players with their scores listed, yet 21 answers for most questions. (20 for one question) So what happened?
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:41 AM   #4
Vince, Pt. II
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I'm tired and lame and completely missed a pair of people. Results still accurate, give me a minute to fix it.
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:45 AM   #5
Vince, Pt. II
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Fixed! I left off Alf and nilodor (both in the Manager level) and forgot to list 'Daily nap time' as a non-monetary, non-benefit related perk. I'm counting all questions with 21 answers now, and I did indeed have 21 entrants. Off to bed with me!

As for the what happened, my google docs sheet was having some issues with sorting an =unique list based on the =countif column next to it, so my answer lists were unsorted and I was just copying them over visually.

Last edited by Vince, Pt. II : 09-18-2015 at 01:47 AM.
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Old 09-18-2015, 07:57 AM   #6
Logan
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
Ugh...started out 4/4 and then fell apart.

A very good one.
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:05 AM   #7
britrock88
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Madison, WI
President! I'll take it!

Nice work, Barkeep!
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:38 AM   #8
MIJB#19
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands
That settles it then, I will never apply for a job in the USA!
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:50 PM   #9
claphamsa
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: non white trash MD
VP? you people are insane!
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GIT R DUN!!!
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Old 09-19-2015, 09:55 AM   #10
Barkeep49
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Not too far away
Hot damn. Had to check my answers since I didn't believe I had done well enough to win. Will post a new entry soon.
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Old 09-21-2015, 03:13 PM   #11
Umbrella
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Back in the desert
Wow, my score made me the perfect example of (takes off sunglasses) middle management.

I'll see myself out.
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Old 09-21-2015, 03:18 PM   #12
cartman
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas
so close
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So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint
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