FOFC improves golf!

Kodos · 05-21-2023, 03:18 PM

I’m stuck watching golf with my father. I’ve thought of some improvements and new features that would enhance the viewing experience for me:

1) Shot clock. Once you tee up, you have 8 seconds to get a shot off before being pelted with dodge balls. Each ball that hits you costs you one stroke.
2) Crowds are allowed to heckle you.
3) Inside the hole is a spring-loaded platform that jettisons about 5% of balls. The longer it has been since the last ejection, the more powerful the ejection.
4) At random intervals, the hole will close, and a new hole will open elsewhere on the green.
5) Once per 18 holes, an opponent can force you to putt using a pool cue.
6) False flags. Sometimes the flag is in the hole, sometimes it isn’t.
7) Quicksand traps.
8) More dangerous wildlife on the course.

Edward64 · 05-21-2023, 03:57 PM

You missed the obvious one ... more beer/cart girls

flere-imsaho · 05-21-2023, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

7) Quicksand traps.

What, like riddles?

Kodos · 05-21-2023, 07:41 PM

No, actual quicksand. Try to hit it out or it’s a two-stroke penalty.

Toddzilla · 05-21-2023, 08:10 PM

Allowing players to throw clubs at one another would prove entertaining

Kodos · 05-21-2023, 09:58 PM

They definitely need to carry their own clubs.

Atocep · 05-21-2023, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

No, actual quicksand. Try to hit it out or it’s a two-stroke penalty.

Are we talking like quicksand on TV when we were growing up where you slowly sink until you die or actual quicksand IRL?

Kodos · 05-22-2023, 07:20 AM

I only really know TV quicksand.

Toddzilla · 05-22-2023, 12:10 PM

otherwise it's a 2/3 stroke penalty

QuikSand · 05-22-2023, 02:23 PM

i love this thread already

SirFozzie · 05-22-2023, 04:46 PM

Hand Grenades.

PilotMan · 05-22-2023, 05:09 PM

Twice a round, you're allowed to chase your opponent with your club after he hits. If you catch him before he can reach his ball he must hit his next shot from the place you caught him.

NobodyHere · 05-22-2023, 06:03 PM

After every stroke in the first hole, you must take a shot of whiskey.

SirFozzie · 05-22-2023, 07:13 PM

You have to play your shots from your golf cart like Polo. Your playing partners get to try to block your shots with their carts, if they're brave enough.

Golf Demolition Derby

CrimsonFox · 05-22-2023, 07:22 PM

how do you improve upon a game you have to be a stuck up asshole to play?

Toddzilla · 05-22-2023, 08:28 PM

Your caddy carries a shotgun and is allowed to shoot your opponents ball out of the air like skeet.

Toddzilla · 05-22-2023, 08:30 PM

Nintendo Golf Wind: every hole has a different wind in a random direction and intensity between 0 and 30 MPH.

Admittedly this may be hard to pull off...

Kodos · 05-22-2023, 08:44 PM

I am liking some of these ideas! I think a fusion of the best elements of golf, smash-up derbies, battlebots, and polo could be a real winner. On each hole, three competitors or more race to be the first one to hole out. Contestants never leave their carts, but instead hit the ball polo-style towards a flag (which may or may not have the real hole - the ground around each of the 5 flags on the green is painted to look like it is a hole). Competitors can ram each other's carts, hit each other's balls (either kind), and push each other's carts into the quicksand traps. Caddies have mini stinger missiles that are shot at a small circular target on each car. If the caddy hits the target, the cart is disabled for 20 seconds. Caddies also control battlebots style robots. Players can adjust their carts to be lighter or heavier, faster or slower, buoyant or non-buoyant--maybe they even have tools such as a smashing hammer or a flame thrower. Creativity is encouraged! First to hole out wins the hole and an upgrade to their cart. The losers are eliminated from the competition. Each wave of contestants is kept in a soundproof booth until it is their turn to join the mayhem so that they don't know which is the real hole.

NobodyHere · 05-22-2023, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrimsonFox

how do you improve upon a game you have to be a stuck up asshole to play?

New rule. The 13th hole must be played with a golf ball held between the butt cheeks.

Atocep · 05-22-2023, 10:26 PM

I think if you hit a ball OOB and a spectator picks it up you should have the fight that person to win your ball back in order to continue playing.

Toddzilla · 05-23-2023, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

smash-up derbies

This was a GOAT toy in the ealry 70s btw

Ksyrup · 05-23-2023, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

I only really know TV quicksand.

Then there's this:

Illinois man stuck on mud flats near Hope drowns as rescue comes too late for incoming tide

PilotMan · 05-23-2023, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atocep

I think if you hit a ball OOB and a spectator picks it up you should have the fight that person to win your ball back in order to continue playing.

This is awesome.

05-21-2023, 09:58 PM	#6
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	They definitely need to carry their own clubs. __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties.

05-22-2023, 07:20 AM	#8
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	I only really know TV quicksand. __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties. Last edited by Kodos : 05-22-2023 at 01:07 PM.

05-22-2023, 04:46 PM	#11
SirFozzie Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: The State of Insanity	Hand Grenades. __________________ Check out Foz's New Video Game Site, An 8-bit Mind in an 8GB world! http://an8bitmind.com

05-22-2023, 05:09 PM	#12
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Twice a round, you're allowed to chase your opponent with your club after he hits. If you catch him before he can reach his ball he must hit his next shot from the place you caught him. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

05-22-2023, 06:03 PM	#13
NobodyHere Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2013	After every stroke in the first hole, you must take a shot of whiskey. __________________ "I am God's prophet, and I need an attorney"

05-21-2023, 03:57 PM	#2
Edward64 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2005	You missed the obvious one ... more beer/cart girls

05-21-2023, 07:41 PM	#4
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	No, actual quicksand. Try to hit it out or it’s a two-stroke penalty.

05-21-2023, 08:10 PM	#5
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Allowing players to throw clubs at one another would prove entertaining

05-22-2023, 12:10 PM	#9
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	otherwise it's a 2/3 stroke penalty

05-22-2023, 02:23 PM	#10
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	i love this thread already

05-22-2023, 07:13 PM	#14
SirFozzie Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: The State of Insanity	You have to play your shots from your golf cart like Polo. Your playing partners get to try to block your shots with their carts, if they're brave enough. Golf Demolition Derby __________________ Check out Foz's New Video Game Site, An 8-bit Mind in an 8GB world! http://an8bitmind.com

05-22-2023, 07:22 PM	#15
CrimsonFox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2009	how do you improve upon a game you have to be a stuck up asshole to play? Last edited by CrimsonFox : 05-22-2023 at 07:22 PM.

05-22-2023, 08:28 PM	#16
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Your caddy carries a shotgun and is allowed to shoot your opponents ball out of the air like skeet.

05-22-2023, 08:30 PM	#17
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Nintendo Golf Wind: every hole has a different wind in a random direction and intensity between 0 and 30 MPH. Admittedly this may be hard to pull off...

05-22-2023, 08:44 PM	#18
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	I am liking some of these ideas! I think a fusion of the best elements of golf, smash-up derbies, battlebots, and polo could be a real winner. On each hole, three competitors or more race to be the first one to hole out. Contestants never leave their carts, but instead hit the ball polo-style towards a flag (which may or may not have the real hole - the ground around each of the 5 flags on the green is painted to look like it is a hole). Competitors can ram each other's carts, hit each other's balls (either kind), and push each other's carts into the quicksand traps. Caddies have mini stinger missiles that are shot at a small circular target on each car. If the caddy hits the target, the cart is disabled for 20 seconds. Caddies also control battlebots style robots. Players can adjust their carts to be lighter or heavier, faster or slower, buoyant or non-buoyant--maybe they even have tools such as a smashing hammer or a flame thrower. Creativity is encouraged! First to hole out wins the hole and an upgrade to their cart. The losers are eliminated from the competition. Each wave of contestants is kept in a soundproof booth until it is their turn to join the mayhem so that they don't know which is the real hole. __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties. Last edited by Kodos : 05-22-2023 at 09:04 PM.

05-22-2023, 10:26 PM	#20
Atocep Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Puyallup, WA	I think if you hit a ball OOB and a spectator picks it up you should have the fight that person to win your ball back in order to continue playing.

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