Tropico 2: Ravenbeard's Rogues

[WSUCougar]

Originally Posted by jfbbis

Me first ! Me first !

P'sha! We ain't be lettin' no struttin' Cabin Boy piddlin' a puddle on the poor lass' shoes. Ye step aside, BOY, and let a Wolf pleasure her right fair. Arrr!

[The Afoci]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

P'sha! We ain't be lettin' no struttin' Cabin Boy piddlin' a puddle on the poor lass' shoes. Ye step aside, BOY, and let a Wolf pleasure her right fair. Arrr!

I want to go last. Then she can't tell all of you my size... Saltwater causes shrinkage...

[Hobbes-]

oi.. Admiral what'z taken ye so long to set sail?

[AdmiralACF]

I be waitin' on our leader ta give me permission ta set sail from this cursed port. Stow the gear, make ready the rudder, and secure the rigging! We be heading out soon, me hopes.

[Raven Hawk]

Alas! It is time to set sail!

January 1951
The fellers be itchin leave port. What, with a new boat an all, we'll dominate the seas! Yet, I have to keep me head atop of me. After all, em scurvy Sea Wolves have a lot of money and such. I best be lookin out fer their best interests. So it be that me first command of the new year is to build a place to eat! At long last we start breaking ground on "The Slimy Rope," a hell-hole of an eatery, but it be better than coconuts. Best of all, this new dive has a penchant for servin beer that will wet all our whistles.

The next order of business will be to find an adequate quest for The Crusty Barnacle. Hmm . . . what more can I do to appease these feral Wolves . . . AHA! I'll send the Barnacle out to kidnap us a skilled farmer. Rumor has it that these 'skilled farmers' can give us the ability to grow different plants other than just corn. I here that they can cultivate bananas, papayas, tobacco, and even . . . hold yer hats on me maties . . . sugar! What's so special about sugar ye say? Ye plankheads! Sugar is fer makin' rum! I give me orders to good ol' AdmiralACF to fetch me a skilled farmer. The capn' ceremoniously breaks a coconut about the hull to christen her properly, then tolls the bell for all his crew to come aboard.

Boarding are: Travis, Qwikshot, Tasan, jfbbis, Hobbes-, Blade6119, and Calis.

Anchors Aweigh, me buckos!

February 1651
It seems as though I have ill-timed the launch of the maiden voyage of The Crusty Barnacle. As the boarding bell rings, The Slimey Rope officially opens, unleashing its wonderous ale on our thirsty lips. Travis and Tasan stop to have a beer before they board. When they finally reach the boat, AdmiralACF has some harsh words for them. 'Stopping for a drink,' it would seem, turned into a week long afair and has delayed the launch of our boat. Arrrr! Finally we get the two landlubbers aboard and our ship sets sail.

March 1651
Apparently there was a bloody skilled farmer on the next isle over. It takes AdmiralACF no time to return with the slacker. We quickly put the bugger to work under the watchful (or semi watchful, now that beer is on the isle) eye of JeeberD. JeffNights and thealmighty crack their bless-ed whips upon the shoulders of our captive carpenters and a papaya farm begins to form.

Learning his lesson from the last port, AdmiralACF quickly gets his orders. In fact, the bloody Crusty doesn't even let his crew ashore for a beer. He sends his trusty 1st mate, Hobbes-, to me to garner his orders for his next trip. After long reflection, I send the boyos out to fetch us a Skilled Server. What's it worth havin a beer if ye don't have a sultry waitress that ye can harass? I've heard that these 'skilled servers' know something about runnin an actual tavern . . . hmmmm . . . sounds good to me. I drop a sack of coins into Hobbes- hands with a parchment that contains the orders. He dutifully heads back to the ship and delivers the orders and the sack of coins to the cap'n. It less than a blink o' an eye, the lads are off to sea again.

I but turn my back for one minute and the sailors are back at port. Thinkin, there be somethin' wrong, I immediately set off for the docks.

"What in bloody christ's name are ye doin' AdmiralACF!" I asks.
"We got ye yer silly server girl, Cap'n Ravenbeard, sir," he quaintly replies.
"We did?!"
"Yessir"
"How'd ye get back so quick?"
"We saw the lady on the isle that we kidnapped the farmer from. If ye would have told me to fetch one then, we wouldn't ha' needed to make the second trip."
"Oh . . . well, then . . . good job, Cap'n AdmiralACF . . . why don't ye go fetch a skilled wench for ye and the boyos, then."

And with that, The Crusty Barnacle set sail.

Time to build a couple of wench houses, then, I'd say . . .

[Blade6119]

Originally Posted by Raven Hawk

Yet, I have to keep me head atop of me. After all, em scurvy Sea Wolves have a lot of money and such. I best be lookin out fer their best interests.

ARRR, looks like me maties in the sea wolves...a fine lot be they, have won the first of many influence wars...sounds to me like the wolves be running the island now!

[AdmiralACF]

That'll teach ol' Ravenbeard to underestimate the great leadership o' Cap'n... err, Admiral ACF!

[Raven Hawk]

As it is that I have been givin most of me money away to appease the Sea Dogs, it appears that I am fresh out! Kidnappin them wenches and waitresses costs us money! Sadly, though, we have no cutlasses to cut the throats of decent seafarin folk. What a predicament I be in . . .

When the laddies get back with the experienced wench, I s'pose I could give em shore leave for a bit . . . so they can spend a little of that earned money . . .

April 1651
At the crack of dawn on the 4th of April, JeeberD spots the sails of the The Crusty Barnacle. One would like to think that JeeberD was up early for his duty, but no, bein' one o' em Rollers, he saw dawn from the other end of the bottle. Almost ready to pass out after a hard night of partyin', ol' JeeberD decides to wait for his ship to come in.

The ship docks half an hour later, with minimal commotion. Only a couple of folks on the boat be awake from grueling night at sea. Hobbes- ties up The Crusty Barnacle and prepares to escort the captive down the gangplank. JeeberD's jaw hits the ground when he sees this fair beauty, fightin' her way down the plank with Hobbes- holding her elbow tightly. Hobbes- looks exhausted, and the Cap'n, well he's got business with Ravenbeard. Looking around the isle, JeeberD notices nobody else up and about on the island. A slow grin comes to his face . . .

"Ye look a bit weary, ye do, old Hobbsy. Ye want me to take the lady to her new accomo . . . accomo . . . accomoda . . . room?" JeeberD offers eagerly.

"Why that would be grand of ye, merde tet. Besides I'm a little exhausted after me turn with her." Hobbes replies.

"Yer turn? How many of ye had turns?"

"Well, everbody went once, and a couple of us snuck in a second or third round of freebies if ye know what I mean."

JeeberD's grin fell off his face as he began to march the wench to her new place of business.

"Don't worry, hon," she said, "for a couple o' gold I'll put that grin right back on yer face."

JeeberD took her to her new residence, the door closed and he emerged about an hour later, with the grin firmly back in place.

May 1651
I have declared shore leave for all ye swarthy rats! Enjoy! In the meantime, I'm building a pig-iron foundry. I'll be needin some pig iron to fashion us some cutlasses so we can start raidin some of those rich ships!

June 1651
Not much be goin on in June, and yer all too drunk to notice. I sure hope ye don't sober up to quickly . . .

[JeeberD]

Arrrrr...nothin quite like sloppy twenty-thirds.

[Blade6119]

that be the best time yet..good ol 23rd turn

[thealmighty]

JeeberD is a Texan...are you sure he didn't emerge 3-4 hours later? (open-up the lines for all the Texas jokes to follow. )

[illinifan999]

bump?

[Hobbes-]

I think we all went into hibernation..

[WSUCougar]

Bit o' the plague...or the clap...or somethin' mowed us all down like wheat a'fore the scythe. The island's a might bit quiet these days, arrrrrrrrrr.

DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

[Raven Hawk]

Yar, m'laddies. Them scurvey Spaniards were sighted at a distance. We'd not want them to spot our isle, if we are to steal their gold.

Me apologies, m'boyos. I'll start up again this eve. Garrr . . . the paperwork associated with bein a pirate king.

ooc: Just an apology, I got an unexpected heavy workload due to people screwing up their jobs, then leaving the company. Been working loooongggg days. I think I got it under control now . . .

[WSUCougar]

Ye better, or ye'll walk the plank, ye scurvy bastaaaaard.

[The Afoci]

Light him on fire.

[Raven Hawk]

Yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we 'av us some mutineers in the ranks. Ye know what we do with mutineers, don't ye? If ye don't, imagine bein' naked and tied to a pole next to a colony of fire ants. That's what ye get if yer lucky . . .

Har, me brain be falterin. Where was I in tellin the tale of the scurvey gluttons that man me isle . . . ah yes . . . July 1651 . . .

July 1651
We're kinda out of the money, so I let ye boys run amuck with the ladies and the booze. I need to make some of that money back off a ya's.

August 1651
August was a busy month it was. We built ourselves an iron mine. Iron be a fine thing, ye can make sharp pointy things with it ta stab flagrant resistors with. It takes the month put the iron mine up. We then staff it with some of our captives out of the stockade and immediately put JeeberD to work slaving the miners. In addition, we construct another chuck tent for the captives to eat their corn gruel at. We also lay plans to build an iron refinery and a weaponsmith.

September 1651
Whilst on guard duty, WSUCougar overhears a conversation inside my office:

"Ye can't build the weaponsmith first ye dolt! Ye need the refinery to process pig iron to use at the weaponsmith shop"

"Ye don't say"

"I do say, ye blasted ignoramous!"

"What's an ignoramus, is that like a hippopotamus?"

"Yes . . . like a hippopotamus . . . By the way, there is the matter of my fee . . ."

"Here ye go kitty! Here's some liver."

"Stop calling me kitty! My name is Darwin, and I own you!"

"Don't let the door hit ya in the . . ."

"RAAAAAAAAAAARRRREEEEEEEE!!!!"

". . . on the way out . . ."

=======

Tomorrow night, we find out who takes sway for 1652, and just how well all of ye lads are doin in the money department.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Raven Hawk

...and immediately put JeeberD to work slaving the miners.

Arrr...these miners are a crazy bunch. Them bastards are now callin' me Paydirt Pete and named Mine #1 "UTEP". What in the hell that's supposed to be meaning I don't think I'll ever ken...

An' who in the blue blazes in Mikey Price? He's bein' the only person these scurvy dogs ever talk about.






(Please tell me you did that on purpose, RH! Putting me in charge of the miners, how great! )

[Raven Hawk]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

(Please tell me you did that on purpose, RH! Putting me in charge of the miners, how great! )

(As much as I'd like to take credit for it, fate seems to have been on your side. )

[Hobbes-]

*wandarrrs ova too where Afoci has passed out of intoxication and takes his cheap whoure... then scoundrels up ye bed where anotha whoure be waitin and does tha deed*

** PASSES OUT **

[lytic]

I still have no clue what is going on here.