What if #4: What if cats had wings?

Poli · 03-09-2005, 09:41 PM

Would there be birds in the sky?

I had to, it's been eating at me for days.

SirFozzie · 03-09-2005, 09:43 PM

Then they wouldn't whomp their asses every time they pounced.

Airhog · 03-09-2005, 09:45 PM

Dont try to parody my Parody thread!

Poli · 03-09-2005, 09:46 PM

It's always been my favorite question for people that say "what if" too many times.

Franklinnoble · 03-09-2005, 09:50 PM

Are we talking about ALL cats? Like, lions and tigers and shit? Or just housecats?

Because, if lions can fly, we'd never be the dominant species on this planet. We would have been wiped out thousands of years ago.

If we're just talking housecats, I'd imagine we'd have hunted them into extinction by the mid 19th century.

VPI97 · 03-09-2005, 09:55 PM

If cats had wings they would rule the world.

VPI97 · 03-09-2005, 09:58 PM

dola -

st.cronin · 03-09-2005, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPI97

If cats had wings they would rule the world.

Cats DO rule the world.

Suicane75 · 03-09-2005, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Are we talking about ALL cats? Like, lions and tigers and shit? Or just housecats?

One thing I know. If Lions could fly then those Kenyans wouldn't win so many marathons. You can't outrun a flying lion, no fucking way.

Suicane75 · 03-09-2005, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VPI97

dola -

Hey man, does that have a vagina?

Tigercat · 03-09-2005, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suicane75

Hey man, does that have a vagina?

It doesn't matter, cause it gives great beak and killer talon-jobs.

Marc Vaughan · 03-10-2005, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Cats DO rule the world.

One of my favourite sayings is:

Dogs have owners, Cats have pets ...

andy m · 03-10-2005, 06:13 AM

they would shit on people who start rubbish threads.

tategter · 03-10-2005, 11:33 AM

My cat would need wings the size of a 747 to get his fat butt of the ground.

Pumpy Tudors · 03-10-2005, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Like, lions and tigers and shit?

Lions and tigers and shit! Oh my!

Pumpy Tudors · 03-10-2005, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigercat

It doesn't matter, cause it gives great beak and killer talon-jobs.

Dola -- this is the funniest thing I've read all week.

gottimd · 03-10-2005, 11:37 AM

What if Clay Aikens Cat had wings and won the Civil War?

JeeberD · 03-10-2005, 11:56 AM

Heh, funny you should bring this up. Gentlemen, let me tell you the story of Dexter, The Amazing Flying Cat.

My younger cat Dexter, who is just over a year old, and my older cat Halakilangi love to spend time on the balcony of my third floor apartment so they can get some fresh air and watch the birds fly by. However, Dexter gets a little too into it sometimes and puts his body halfway through the bars when he's looking at the birds. My girlfriend freaks out and grabs him whenever she seems him like that, but I've always thought that while he may be young and stupid, he wouldn't be stupid enough to jump.

Tuesday was a beautiful day here in the DFW area, so in the afternoon I opened up the balcony door and let the cats run free out there. My girlfriend and I decided it would be a good evening to barbeque that evening, so I was in and out setting up the grill for later. A couple of times I noticed that Dexter was leaning a bit far out off the balcony, but once again, I didn't think there was any way that he would jump.

On hour later it was time to cook the steaks, so I Kilangi off the balcony and closed the screen since I didn't want the cats to get too close to the grill. I cooked dinner with the screen closed, and then the girlfriend and I ate a nice steak dinner.

A couple hours after we were finished, around 8pm, my girlfriend and I were about to eat some cookies that she had just baked for desert when she realized that she hadn't seen Dexter in a while. Usually he is very active and noticable, so this was unusual. We started looking for him, calling his name. We shook the food bag, which usually brings him running, but he didn't come. We looked in the closets, under the bed, behind the couch, everywhere he usually hides, but there was no Dexter. I decided to check the closet on the balcony, and while I was out there my girlfriend looked over the edge and noticed something interesting. Our first floor neighbor has a couple of tiki torches that he has stuck in the ground amongst the bushes outside his patio. Well, the tiki torches had been shoved to the side. Could Dexter have actually taken a flying leap off of the balcony?

My girlfriend started to freak out, so we put on our jackets and went outside to look down there and see if we could see any sign of him. My girlfriend started running around calling his name while I looked amongst the bushed that surrounded the area. We did that for maybe ten minutes before my girlfriend got the bright idea to look deep inot the bushes directly below our patio. And sure enough, there the little bastard was.

Now, these bushes aren't very healthy and have lots of dead branches on them, so I was very worried that he might have gotten punctured in his stomach or gotten a branch in the eye. Nope, he looked healthy. I ran my hands over his legs and ribs, and nothing felt out of place and he didn't act like they hurt. When we got him upstairs, we found that the "thumb" on his right front paw had gotten a cut, but that was his only injury from falling THREE FRIGGIN STORIES!

The cat is extremely lucky. Not only did he fall without seriously injuring himself, he's lucky that none of the feral cats that live in the area found him (Dex is declawed, so while he's feisty, I doubt he would have stood much of a chance), that no one decided to walk their dog in that area in the three hours that he was down there, that he decided not to explore while he was outside and run off to god knows where, and that my girlfriend realized that Dex was missing. If any one of those things had changed we might never have seen our little kitty again...

Of course, as soon as we got him home he ran to the patio door and started meowing to be let out. But I think that was probably the final un-supervised balcony expedition for Dexy the Flying Cat.

mgadfly · 03-10-2005, 12:05 PM

In physics class awhile back we read about all the cats that were jumping out of tall buildings in cities like New York and Chicago. Apparently cats can survive falls even at their terminal velocity speed (it's been a decade since I took physics, so I might have the term wrong). Some don't survive, but some do. That stuck with me since it was kind of interesting. If I ever live in a high rise I plan to test the theory myself (just kidding).

And on the subject, although it wasn't serious, even if my cat had wings I doubt it could get lift off. She would have to have a heck of a pair of wings to get her body mass off the ground.

03-09-2005, 09:43 PM	#2
SirFozzie Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: The State of Insanity	Then they wouldn't whomp their asses every time they pounced. __________________ Check out Foz's New Video Game Site, An 8-bit Mind in an 8GB world! http://an8bitmind.com

03-09-2005, 09:45 PM	#3
Airhog Captain Obvious Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Norman, Oklahoma	Dont try to parody my Parody thread! __________________ Thread Killer extraordinaire Yay! its football season once again!

03-09-2005, 09:55 PM	#6
VPI97 Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Kennesaw, GA	If cats had wings they would rule the world. __________________ CT & Jivin - "Surprisingly Entertaining"

03-09-2005, 09:58 PM	#7
VPI97 Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Kennesaw, GA	dola - __________________ CT & Jivin - "Surprisingly Entertaining"

03-10-2005, 06:13 AM	#13
andy m High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: norwich, UK	they would shit on people who start rubbish threads. __________________ mostly harmless FOFL 2009 champs - Norwich Quagmire

03-09-2005, 09:46 PM	#4
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	It's always been my favorite question for people that say "what if" too many times. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum.

03-09-2005, 09:50 PM	#5
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	Are we talking about ALL cats? Like, lions and tigers and shit? Or just housecats? Because, if lions can fly, we'd never be the dominant species on this planet. We would have been wiped out thousands of years ago. If we're just talking housecats, I'd imagine we'd have hunted them into extinction by the mid 19th century.

03-10-2005, 11:33 AM	#14
tategter High School JV Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Florida Swampland	My cat would need wings the size of a 747 to get his fat butt of the ground.

03-10-2005, 11:37 AM	#17
gottimd Dearly Missed (9/25/77-12/23/08) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: DC Suburbs	What if Clay Aikens Cat had wings and won the Civil War? __________________ NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish MP Career Record: 114-85 NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08

03-10-2005, 11:56 AM	#18
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Heh, funny you should bring this up. Gentlemen, let me tell you the story of Dexter, The Amazing Flying Cat. My younger cat Dexter, who is just over a year old, and my older cat Halakilangi love to spend time on the balcony of my third floor apartment so they can get some fresh air and watch the birds fly by. However, Dexter gets a little too into it sometimes and puts his body halfway through the bars when he's looking at the birds. My girlfriend freaks out and grabs him whenever she seems him like that, but I've always thought that while he may be young and stupid, he wouldn't be stupid enough to jump. Tuesday was a beautiful day here in the DFW area, so in the afternoon I opened up the balcony door and let the cats run free out there. My girlfriend and I decided it would be a good evening to barbeque that evening, so I was in and out setting up the grill for later. A couple of times I noticed that Dexter was leaning a bit far out off the balcony, but once again, I didn't think there was any way that he would jump. On hour later it was time to cook the steaks, so I Kilangi off the balcony and closed the screen since I didn't want the cats to get too close to the grill. I cooked dinner with the screen closed, and then the girlfriend and I ate a nice steak dinner. A couple hours after we were finished, around 8pm, my girlfriend and I were about to eat some cookies that she had just baked for desert when she realized that she hadn't seen Dexter in a while. Usually he is very active and noticable, so this was unusual. We started looking for him, calling his name. We shook the food bag, which usually brings him running, but he didn't come. We looked in the closets, under the bed, behind the couch, everywhere he usually hides, but there was no Dexter. I decided to check the closet on the balcony, and while I was out there my girlfriend looked over the edge and noticed something interesting. Our first floor neighbor has a couple of tiki torches that he has stuck in the ground amongst the bushes outside his patio. Well, the tiki torches had been shoved to the side. Could Dexter have actually taken a flying leap off of the balcony? My girlfriend started to freak out, so we put on our jackets and went outside to look down there and see if we could see any sign of him. My girlfriend started running around calling his name while I looked amongst the bushed that surrounded the area. We did that for maybe ten minutes before my girlfriend got the bright idea to look deep inot the bushes directly below our patio. And sure enough, there the little bastard was. Now, these bushes aren't very healthy and have lots of dead branches on them, so I was very worried that he might have gotten punctured in his stomach or gotten a branch in the eye. Nope, he looked healthy. I ran my hands over his legs and ribs, and nothing felt out of place and he didn't act like they hurt. When we got him upstairs, we found that the "thumb" on his right front paw had gotten a cut, but that was his only injury from falling THREE FRIGGIN STORIES! The cat is extremely lucky. Not only did he fall without seriously injuring himself, he's lucky that none of the feral cats that live in the area found him (Dex is declawed, so while he's feisty, I doubt he would have stood much of a chance), that no one decided to walk their dog in that area in the three hours that he was down there, that he decided not to explore while he was outside and run off to god knows where, and that my girlfriend realized that Dex was missing. If any one of those things had changed we might never have seen our little kitty again... Of course, as soon as we got him home he ran to the patio door and started meowing to be let out. But I think that was probably the final un-supervised balcony expedition for Dexy the Flying Cat. __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

03-10-2005, 12:05 PM	#19
mgadfly High School Varsity Join Date: Dec 2003	In physics class awhile back we read about all the cats that were jumping out of tall buildings in cities like New York and Chicago. Apparently cats can survive falls even at their terminal velocity speed (it's been a decade since I took physics, so I might have the term wrong). Some don't survive, but some do. That stuck with me since it was kind of interesting. If I ever live in a high rise I plan to test the theory myself (just kidding). And on the subject, although it wasn't serious, even if my cat had wings I doubt it could get lift off. She would have to have a heck of a pair of wings to get her body mass off the ground.

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