Grammar Police - Graduate School

[QuikSand]

Yes, probably...

What grammar arguments are really about - Baltimore Sun

[Kodos]

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world | The Poke

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

You’ve been reading “The Chaos” by Gerard Nolst Trenité, written nearly 100 years ago in 1922, designed to demonstrate the irregularity of English spelling and pronunciation.

[QuikSand]

90% is a very very low estimate there. What share actually scores perfectly on that? Maybe 1 in 2,000?

[digamma]

What share actually has the patience to read through to the end?

[Kodos]

"Terpsichore" was where doubt first crept in for me.

[cartman]

I before E, except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbor.

[albionmoonlight]

[cuervo72]

C'mon, folks. You are not bias (a noun). You are biased (an adjective).

[QuikSand]

I honestly can't believe we're seemingly losing that particular fight.

[digamma]

I was hoping it had reached intentional comedy status, but that may be offering too much credit.

[britrock88]

I've seen a lot of rein/reign confusion lately. Pretty bothersome when all one should do to determine which is the proper use is to ask whether the context includes a king or a horse.

[Solecismic]

For reference, Dave Brandon is the hated former Domino's CEO who had an infamous tenure as Michigan's athletic director.

This is the perfect allegory for who he seems to be as a person.

Unverified Voracity Is Seeded Second | mgoblog

[Alf]

question to native english (well american speakers)

criteria is plural, right ? But do you ever use criterion ?

[dawgfan]

Originally Posted by Alf

question to native english (well american speakers)

criteria is plural, right ? But do you ever use criterion ?

I would guess most folks are unaware that criteria is the plural form of criterion, and so use criteria where criterion would be appropriate.

[QuikSand]

That's correct - most people don't understand the correct forms, and use "criteria" indiscriminately. "Criterion" is a perfectly acceptable word used as the singular, but its use is pretty uncommon.

[Alf]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

That's correct - most people don't understand the correct forms, and use "criteria" indiscriminately. "Criterion" is a perfectly acceptable word used as the singular, but its use is pretty uncommon.

Thanks QS. The "common" usage is what I was looking for. I am going to look for a more "common" word to use. Ah, the joys of working for an international company where average is better than good sometimes

[QuikSand]

In all fairness, the word "criterion" doesn't have wide value in many circumstances.

A phrase like "there are multiple criteria for award winners" is a much more natural and commonplace phrase than, say "we only consider one criterion for award winners."

I'm not sure that this is perfectly clear, but part of the bias is likely due to the fact that one word is simply more useful, practically speaking, than the other.

[AlexB]

One of my student pubs was called The Criterion. Had completely forgotten about it until this thread - now happily remembering various escapades! Thank you

[Logan]

Fuck me...I always thought they were used the other way.

[lighthousekeeper]

Internet, Web Enjoy One Final Day as Proper Nouns - ABC News

[albionmoonlight]

This makes a lot of sense to me:

My #GMEUapp entry on dates as adjectives. Jeopardy is following my recommended practice. @digipenmom pic.twitter.com/IgASyMgfM4

— Bryan A. Garner (@BryanAGarner) October 26, 2016

[QuikSand]

I'm down

[britrock88]

This is one of those rules that struck me as counterintuitive, so I had to make an effort to learn it. Now I'll have to make an effort to unlearn it. Progress!

[QuikSand]

heh, same guy...

No, @OliverKamm, "they was" is a solecism—one I heard frequently in my native dialect. All solecisms are nonstandard. pic.twitter.com/yBQ5WchJzr

— Bryan A. Garner (@BryanAGarner) October 30, 2016

[QuikSand]

I may be softening my stance on "very unique."

Sigh.

[cuervo72]

TWIPF NFL AFL 1969 Week 01 - YouTube


(Also, Charlie Jones.)

[QuikSand]

nice

[albionmoonlight]

Not grammar, but I'm always a little embarrassed when my spelling is so poor that spell check can't even figure out what I'm trying to say.

Grammar Police--Graduate School
Spelling Police--Remedial Kindergarten

[digamma]

Another picture of my view from Inauguration yesterday. It was an incredible honor to witness and take part in this historical moment! pic.twitter.com/gLnoZRf02m

— Rep. Jason Smith (@RepJasonSmith) January 22, 2017

I thought the Ed Sec nominee's flap may have helped here but I guess not. Historic vs. Historical may be the early candidate for grammar annoyance of the year.

[QuikSand]

How do we combat the rampant use of "would of" and "could of" in our very midst?

[QuikSand]

yes i have been drinking and now I'm thinking about grammar

[hollmt]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

How do we combat the rampant use of "would of" and "could of" in our very midst?

yeh, its defiantly gettin' up they're with to, too, your, you're, there and their. (that was rough for me to type)

I dated a lady over the summer and in her texts to me, she would type 'could of' and 'would of' all the time. We broke up after 3 months.

[Glengoyne]

I recall discovering that there was no of in would've the first time I went to actually write it. Well I hope it was the first time. It was quite a conceptual hurdle for me, because I had never challenged the notion that 'of' Just didn't belong there while speaking.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

How do we combat the rampant use of "would of" and "could of" in our very midst?

Custom forum autocorrect?

[albionmoonlight]

Is there a term for the phenomenon of structuring a sentence to negate an absolute after you use it?

Like "No team in the Super Bowl era has ever gone undefeated, except for the 1972 Miami Dolphins."

It is generally bad practice rhetorically, but I am wondering if there is a specific term for it.

[QuikSand]

*shurg*

[QuikSand]

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/15/health...inkId=35504124

[cuervo72]

For fuck's sake, if you are going to write for any sort of consumption, don't do this.

So yes, the Trump campaign is furiously backpeddling from Manafort, and perhaps they expect another big report to drop.

Spicer Tries To Distance Trump From Michael Flynn & Paul Manafort

[dawgfan]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

For fuck's sake, if you are going to write for any sort of consumption, don't do this.



Spicer Tries To Distance Trump From Michael Flynn & Paul Manafort

Editors at news outlets are an endangered species. Especially new media like uproxx...

[stevew]

Today is one of those "broke clock is right twice a day" type grammar days. Morgan William's shot was amazing last night is correct.

[cuervo72]

Dear Dummies,

Your relative hasn't "past away."

Condolences,
cuervo

[SplitPersonality1]

Don't take me for granite.

[QuikSand]

One that I run into a fair bit professionally (I work in politics) is the phrase "two thirds majority."

Technically, the term majority (when referencing a vote) is a completely defined and unmodifiable term. It means exactly what we know it means, more yes than no. That's it.

If something requires a greater vote than a majority, there are ways to describe it. "Supermajority" is the generic for all such things (3/5, 2/3, whatever) but most often the best phrase would just be to identify the margin required. If something requires two-thirds to pass, the best phrase is "two thirds vote" rather than "two thirds majority," though the latter seems to make writers feel like they are in command and is in widespread use.

[QuikSand]

The word idea does not require an apostrophe to become plural.

This does not belong in this thread, just came to mind for some reason.

[QuikSand]

Continually = happening often, frequently, seemingly all the time
Continuously = literally all the time, without interruption

UConn women's basketball was ranked #1 continuously for a long-ass time.

The Patriots are continually appearing in Super Bowls at an unprecedented rate.

Continually vs. Continuously | Dictionary.com Blog

[Easy Mac]

So, "QuikSand is continually necro-bumping this thread." or "QuikSand is continuously necro-bumping this thread."?

[Kodos]

Clearly, option A.

[britrock88]

Hector really likes grammar, it would appear.

[Chief Rum]

Paul Millsap has informed the Atlanta Hawks that he will not exercise his player option for 2017-18 and become a free agent this summer, according to multiple reports.

The Vertical was first to report Millsap's decision Monday. Millsap's option year was worth $21.47 million.

I don't know if improper sentence construction falls under the purview of this thread, but the first sentence (written by an ESPN news service professional, I assume) is put together terrible.

[21C]

Not a grammar question per se but where do you stand on the use of periods in acronyms or abbreviations?

For example, do you write U.S.A. or USA? Mr. or Mr?

I just realized that I forego the periods completely. Like when I write homework on the board for a class, I will write Ex 5F p172 Q1-10 instead of Ex. 5F p.172 Q.1-10.

This only occurred to me when I saw a written piece with a period being employed in every conceivable place.