The Mental Health Thread

[JonInMiddleGA]

Will picked up my wife's prescriptions a little while ago. (She came home from the hospital this morning)

They gave them to him in an old fashioned full-sized brown paper grocery bag.

"They had to unlock the drive thru window and swing it out, just to get the bag to me. I didn't know they'd even do that"

"I felt like I was picking up groceries in the early 80s"

"If I get pulled over with this much shit, I'm going DIRECTLY to jail. No passing Go, no nothing"

Why this story in this thread you may wonder? Because laughing beats the hell outta crying, that's why. And it's a relief to me that we managed to teach our kid that fact.

[Lathum]

Will seems like a good one.




he adopted?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Will seems like a good one.
he adopted?

Has my sharp tongue, just with more charm / fewer rough edges.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Why this story in this thread you may wonder? Because laughing beats the hell outta crying, that's why. And it's a relief to me that we managed to teach our kid that fact.

I've noticed that I've cried from laughter more than I usually do. Probably the build up of tears, as I don't cry easily while these are no heartwarming times, usually the floods come only when something over the top hilarious happens. These last couple of weeks the tears come even at the smallest of jokes.

Like when I called a co-worker and just as I was about to ask him my question, another co-worker in the same room as him asked for the phone so she could ask me a question first. After I answered it, she didn't just give him the phone back, she simply hung up. I threw my arms up in the air: "wtf?", didn't I initiate the connection to call the other co-worker and didn't she interrupt us? I suppose I was in a good mood, or simply too flabbergasted and felt like it was the funniest work-related moment in weeks. When I called again, she picked it up (despite it being his cellphone): I wanted to clean (de-corona) the phone before giving it back. It was all good, I just thanked her for the unintentional comedy.

[PilotMan]

The other shoe dropped for my job and my company. A few minutes ago, they announced the upcoming expected, possible furloughs for pilots. The number is 2250, and it's very close to what some predictions are and is spread out over 2 months this fall. All I can say about this is that I am relieved that I am not included in that number and that it looks like I will have a job through the winter, barring further needed reductions prior to next summer's flying schedule. If this winter does not come back or further shut downs loom, they may need to reduce numbers even further. I guess well see, but I am breathing a sigh of relief that I am spared, and even after this number there is still a sizeable number of guys behind me directly too. I cannot feel happy though. That is a lot of guys who are going to be out of work. Pretty much anyone hired after Jan of 2016 is going to be gone. The company has added that they may furlough up to 36,000 employees on October 1.

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

The other shoe dropped for my job and my company. A few minutes ago, they announced the upcoming expected, possible furloughs for pilots. The number is 2250, and it's very close to what some predictions are and is spread out over 2 months this fall. All I can say about this is that I am relieved that I am not included in that number and that it looks like I will have a job through the winter, barring further needed reductions prior to next summer's flying schedule. If this winter does not come back or further shut downs loom, they may need to reduce numbers even further. I guess well see, but I am breathing a sigh of relief that I am spared, and even after this number there is still a sizeable number of guys behind me directly too. I cannot feel happy though. That is a lot of guys who are going to be out of work. Pretty much anyone hired after Jan of 2016 is going to be gone. The company has added that they may furlough up to 36,000 employees on October 1.

I'm glad that you missed the axe this time. Rooting for a vaccine before the turk comes again.

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

"If I get pulled over with this much shit, I'm going DIRECTLY to jail. No passing Go, no nothing"

When he's a federal prosecutor, tell him to remember that sometimes guys have perfectly legitimate reasons to be driving around with half a pharmacy in their back seat :-)

[JonInMiddleGA]

A lot of you have seen me in all manner of mental/emotional states, I don't know if "shook" is one that happens very often.

I had to blog it to explain why.
Three county fairs and a goat roping … | Jon's Three Cents

I need a fuckin drink, and I believe I'm gonna have one

[miami_fan]

As someone who is still doing the shopping and running other errands for multiple households, I can confirm that my experiences matches up with your experience last night and what you have seen in general.

[sterlingice]

I haven't been inside a store in months and that's a bit sobering

SI

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

A lot of you have seen me in all manner of mental/emotional states, I don't know if "shook" is one that happens very often.

I had to blog it to explain why.
Three county fairs and a goat roping … | Jon's Three Cents

I need a fuckin drink, and I believe I'm gonna have one

I have not run into anything like this yet, but on nearly every trip to store I have a foreboding feeling that it might. I usually go real early 6-7 am on Saturday which I think helps avoid this kind of fuckery though.

What makes it scary is the CCW crowd that loves to pull their pieces in disputes and this is just the type of environment that could escalate a situation like this real quick.

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

I haven't been inside a store in months and that's a bit sobering

SI

Do you order groceries online?

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by BYU 14

Do you order groceries online?

Yeah and do pickup. It drives me nuts as I can't get my own produce or meats but I'm not walking into a store just for that.

It'll be a very happy day when my wife and I can do that again. We used to like doing it (to a point - I mean there's always annoyances about any retail interaction) because it was time we were together without our son as he was still in daycare. Now we'll be happy and grateful about it for other reasons.

SI

[Drake]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

A lot of you have seen me in all manner of mental/emotional states, I don't know if "shook" is one that happens very often.

I had to blog it to explain why.
Three county fairs and a goat roping … | Jon's Three Cents

I need a fuckin drink, and I believe I'm gonna have one

Apropos of nothing, I suppose, and I guess I should have known this from years of reading your posts...but you're a wonderful writer, Jon. Thanks for sharing.

[lungs]

Originally Posted by Drake

Apropos of nothing, I suppose, and I guess I should have known this from years of reading your posts...but you're a wonderful writer, Jon. Thanks for sharing.

Agreed. I’d probably be inclined to read Jon’s account of paint drying if he ever was inclined to write such an account.

[sterlingice]

He had me at

I know what you’re thinking: something like “well, it was Walmart” but I’m a seasoned Walmart veteran. I’ve been in Walmarts across at least two timezones and more states than I could easily tally. And this is my most local of Wallyworlds, the one I probably averaged more than 3 visits a week to for more than a decade back in olden times when things were (relatively) normal. This was something altogether different.

SI

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Yeah and do pickup. It drives me nuts as I can't get my own produce or meats but I'm not walking into a store just for that.

It'll be a very happy day when my wife and I can do that again. We used to like doing it (to a point - I mean there's always annoyances about any retail interaction) because it was time we were together without our son as he was still in daycare. Now we'll be happy and grateful about it for other reasons.

SI

Produce is a big reason we still go to the store. We order our meats online and get great quality from the company we use, so that is not an issue thankfully.

[cuervo72]

I was trying to think if I had been at Walmart in more than two timezones but don't think I have. I'm fairly confident we were at one for our trip to Arizona last summer, which would have been Mountain Standard Time (thank you for being screwy, Arizona). I don't think we did in NV though. Can't recall if we ever stopped in one when we were in Boise years ago, but that would have been Mountain as well. When I was in CA briefly for trips in the late 90s I wouldn't have stopped at a Walmart, so Pacific is a "no."

Indiana is still Eastern (somehow), so I think Central is also a "no."

[bhlloy]

I haven’t been to a store proper since the start of March, but for me it’s notable in people’s driving too. I’ve seen people just run red lights and stop signs at a much higher clip, a couple of people stopped at red lights decide that as nothing seems to be coming they can just go straight through them, a huge increase in folks straddling lanes and not giving a shit....

What percentage is people forgetting how to drive over the last few months and what percentage is fuck the world and everyone else in it - probably up for debate, but it is definitely noticeable

[Kodos]

I've been at Walmart in at least three timezones. Went to one in Hawaii, Chicago, and Connecticut. Probably California too, but not sure on that one.

[JonInMiddleGA]

My thanks to everyone who said something nice or even read that blog post.

Now, if one of y'all could unfuck the hours of every restaurant in this shithole town, that'd be great. It feels like every fucking day includes high level stress figuring out where to eat AND when (usually when only 1/3 people in the house are even hungry)

[SirFozzie]

seems like everything here in the north east is closing at 6 PM or so. Was going to head over to the local bookstore just to get the fuck out of this place but by the time I woke up, it was already pretty much too late to go

(Let's not talk about sleep patterns)

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by SirFozzie

seems like everything here in the north east is closing at 6 PM or so. Was going to head over to the local bookstore just to get the fuck out of this place but by the time I woke up, it was already pretty much too late to go

(Let's not talk about sleep patterns)

It's almost random here. 8p or 9p, but that's the places that normally closed at 10p or 11p.

But we've been a late8 - around 10p dinner family for most of 20 years now. So it literally fucks routine to death.

And sleep patterns -- which are weird to the world but work for us -- are further fucked entirely because of the food issue.

Literally THE only reason I've been awake for the past two hours is because there wasn't time to get a decent nap in before inevitable food run duty. And I'm very pissy about that atm, cause it's like the 5th day in a row like that.

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by bhlloy

I haven’t been to a store proper since the start of March, but for me it’s notable in people’s driving too. I’ve seen people just run red lights and stop signs at a much higher clip, a couple of people stopped at red lights decide that as nothing seems to be coming they can just go straight through them, a huge increase in folks straddling lanes and not giving a shit....

What percentage is people forgetting how to drive over the last few months and what percentage is fuck the world and everyone else in it - probably up for debate, but it is definitely noticeable

I am so glad I am not the only one that has experienced this.

[sterlingice]

I'm driving a couple of times a week and I have also noticed this.

I'm really hoping it's being out of practice and not nihilism.

SI

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by Kodos

I've been at Walmart in at least three timezones. Went to one in Hawaii, Chicago, and Connecticut. Probably California too, but not sure on that one.

Let's see. Eastern (most recent Tampa), Central (most recent Panama City I think), Mountain (most recent Cheyenne, Wyoming), Central European Time (Kaiserslautern Germany).

I am actually wondering why I never went to Walmart when I visited the Pacific time zone.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

I am so glad I am not the only one that has experienced this.

I see that here in WNY as well, people think just because there are fewer cars on the road they can just wander all over hell and ignore driving rules.

[AlexB]

Getting tired now of the selfishness, negativity and wilful ignorance of a large proportion of society

Stop moaning, stop looking for people to blame, buckle down, try to get on as best we can and start taking some personal responsibility for our actions

Sorry for mini-rant, and not directed at anyone on this board, just the world in general

[stevew]

Teaching my 20yo how to drive and she’s fucking brutal. May just pay for driving school but I’m guessing there aren’t many available at the moment.

[SirFozzie]

Originally Posted by AlexB

Getting tired now of the selfishness, negativity and wilful ignorance of a large proportion of society

Stop moaning, stop looking for people to blame, buckle down, try to get on as best we can and start taking some personal responsibility for our actions

Sorry for mini-rant, and not directed at anyone on this board, just the world in general

I think that we're all fed up with each other, which is a big reason everyone's tempers are frayed. The world's been battering us around, and we're so tired of everyone else telling us "Wear a mask" "COVID is a liberal hoax" "Trump is awful" "Trump is great".

One of the best pieces of advice, that I know is all the damn hardest to follow in this time of stress and anger... "I cannot control what people around me do. All I can do is control how I respond to them".

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by SirFozzie

"I cannot control what people around me do. All I can do is control how I respond to them".

I wish I could remember what book this is from, but Ive got a sign in my office that just reads E+P=O

Events + Your Perception = Outcome/outlook.

[Drake]

Originally Posted by stevew

Teaching my 20yo how to drive and she’s fucking brutal. May just pay for driving school but I’m guessing there aren’t many available at the moment.

I did this with my boys. In terms of stress avoided, it's probably the best money I ever spent.

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by stevew

Teaching my 20yo how to drive and she’s fucking brutal. May just pay for driving school but I’m guessing there aren’t many available at the moment.

Originally Posted by Drake

I did this with my boys. In terms of stress avoided, it's probably the best money I ever spent.

Done it both ways and definitely recommend paying for it! Of course my kids are smart asses so I am sure they trolled me just to increase my stress level

[CU Tiger]

I'm beginning to realize how out of touch most of my professional colleagues are with their own mortality.

The more conversation I have about COVID, the more I realize how polyana and care free so many people walk around every day.

Yes COVID is real and could kill you and Yes you should take precautions as much as possible.

But you do a lot of dumb more dangerous stuff as well. Not saying that to minimize it, saying that I think part of the freak out is people who have never seriously considered the possibility that they are going to die.

Work convo this morning where I "shocked" 4 40something co-workers when they learned I had a living will and an asset will and already owned my burial plots and had pre-paid for my funeral expenses. I did all this before I was 30. I honestly thought until today that made me in the norm....now I learn that no one..not even my 68 year old co-worker/employee has burial plots despite his wife being a 2 time cancer survivor.

I think the world is crazy and their priorities are skewed...

[cuervo72]

Yeah, I don't have any of that either. I kind of just assume if I die, my wife will get everything. If we both die, the kids will be beneficiaries of whatever. Both sets of parents are still around, so someone would be around to figure things out, I guess. Once they go - my wife's parents, more so - then we will really have to get things in order. Until then, it hasn't been that much of a concern.

Maybe your colleagues don't have many assets? We have basically the house and 401k. I'm probably naive, but I figure those would be easy enough to sort out.

While the kids were little, I think the assumption was that my wife's sister would assume caretaker responsibilities. Both kids are in college now; if we died, I'm not sure what would happen with tuition, etc.

Burial plots? Just cremate me and be done with it.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

Work convo this morning where I "shocked" 4 40something co-workers when they learned I had a living will and an asset will and already owned my burial plots and had pre-paid for my funeral expenses. I did all this before I was 30. I honestly thought until today that made me in the norm....now I learn that no one..not even my 68 year old co-worker/employee has burial plots despite his wife being a 2 time cancer survivor.

I think the world is crazy and their priorities are skewed...

You are pretty rare. Would actually make an interesting poll.

About 7 years ago we started making a lot more money, stock options, etc...and decided to get a financial guy. I figured he would just be a guy who managed the money, but he was anything but.

The first thing he did was have us set up life insurance, disability, umbrella policy, etc...He had us do wills, living wills, even had us do a form outlining all our account numbers, passwords, etc...to make it easy if we both die (this is well protected). Then had us move on to college funds, long term investments, etc...

His big thing was making sure we were prepared and protected for anything. Made me realize how unprepared we really had been.

[ISiddiqui]

I don't have any of that stuff either. Though I did just turn 40 and I figure I may do some of the will stuff this decade - but yes I figure it'll go to my wife. As for burial plots - not sure if we'll live in Atlanta forever.

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

I'm beginning to realize how out of touch most of my professional colleagues are with their own mortality.

The more conversation I have about COVID, the more I realize how polyana and care free so many people walk around every day.

Yes COVID is real and could kill you and Yes you should take precautions as much as possible.

But you do a lot of dumb more dangerous stuff as well. Not saying that to minimize it, saying that I think part of the freak out is people who have never seriously considered the possibility that they are going to die.

Work convo this morning where I "shocked" 4 40something co-workers when they learned I had a living will and an asset will and already owned my burial plots and had pre-paid for my funeral expenses. I did all this before I was 30. I honestly thought until today that made me in the norm....now I learn that no one..not even my 68 year old co-worker/employee has burial plots despite his wife being a 2 time cancer survivor.

I think the world is crazy and their priorities are skewed...

It's shocking how many people don't have plans. Not sure if it is because, like you said they don't have a concept of their mortality, or because they don't want to think about the inevitable end we all face. Would be an interesting poll.

It's even more baffling when you consider how many people let their fitness/diet lapse as they get older. in my late 50's now and I have probably ramped my routines up the last few years.

Here is my routine every single week
Monday through Saturday run 3.5 miles
Monday, Tuesday and Thursday through Saturday strength training
Wednesday 10 rounds on the heavy bag

And when thing open up I will squeeze a couple of days of BJJ back in there. Yeah, sometimes it sucks, but why not feel as good as you can for as long as you can.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

I don't have any of that stuff either. Though I did just turn 40 and I figure I may do some of the will stuff this decade - but yes I figure it'll go to my wife. As for burial plots - not sure if we'll live in Atlanta forever.

Now that you have a kid you should start thinking more about it. God forbid you both die, what happens? What is you break your neck and can't work? I'm assuming you make a halfway decent living, if you die don't you want your wife and child to b able to maintain a certain lifestyle?

Anyone who owns a home or has any decent assets should 100% have an umbrella policy, especially with how cheap they are.

It is shitty to think about, especially since the odds are so slim, but it should at least be considered IMO.

[ISiddiqui]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Now that you have a kid you should start thinking more about it. God forbid you both die, what happens? What is you break your neck and can't work? I'm assuming you make a halfway decent living, if you die don't you want your wife and child to b able to maintain a certain lifestyle?

Anyone who owns a home or has any decent assets should 100% have an umbrella policy, especially with how cheap they are.

It is shitty to think about, especially since the odds are so slim, but it should at least be considered IMO.

Well we do both have decent life insurance, mostly due to our jobs. Of course we don't own a home. But I do have a good amount in my 401(k).

We probably need to spell out who gets the kid if something happens to us.. mostly because we don't want my wife's parents to get him.

[CU Tiger]

I had a custody will before my son came home from the hospital. Literally. I left the day before discharge went to the lawyers office and had it drawn up, just in case we were both killed on the car ride home I wanted to know who would get care for him.

The will stuff and the arrangements isn't because I really care who gets what or where my carcass rots, its just I don't ever want to be a burden to my kids or loved ones. I have dedicated my life to eliminating their wants and inconvenience and I want to continue that until the end.

I know I am an outlier in certain mental approaches, Ive discussed it here before specifically on my thoughts around law enforcement and how it relates to 2A issues, but I just fully believe it is my most basic responsibility to handle everything I am capable of. Blame no one else. Burden no one else.

I could share some of the extreme stuff I have done to that end. But I thought the above stuff was super basic stuff everyone did. I thought it was part of being an adult.

And candidly I have a lot more respect for you guys than for 2 of the ones int he conversation this AM, so this is good. It makes me stop and re-evaluate and see that maybe they arent the odd ones that I am.

Actually this illuminates a lot of the friction between my son and I. He's apparently "normal" and I want him to be "extreme" in his eyes, where I see I'm as slack and want him to be normal.

Deep thought day for me...

[Kodos]

We have life insurance. 401(k)s have directions for who gets how much if we die. Need to do wills. Don't care about burial plots. Won't live where I live following retirement. Cremate me. Mulch me. Doesn't matter.

I find I don't really fear death at this point. I can slowly feel the world passing me by and can see the day coming where I'll feel like my time has passed. Not that I want to die. But at some point, not having to deal with the drudgery of day-to-day life and all the crap like pandemics and people who ignore science will feel like a relief. Lay down your burdens and that kind of thing.

I fear a lingering death. I try to keep myself in shape and hold off the big decline as long as I can.

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

Well we do both have decent life insurance, mostly due to our jobs. Of course we don't own a home. But I do have a good amount in my 401(k).

Sorry to dola
But the bolded is the type of stuffing Im referencing.
You think you have decent life insurance. What if the company didnt pay the premium? Or let it lapse or there was a clerical error, or? or? or?

Those are the T's I have to cross in my mind. I have 2 separate life insurance policies. Just in case one goes insolvent for any reason. I have every cancelled check or credit card payment receipt for the premium from the day I signed both policies. Stored in my records file that is updated every year. This file is triplicate.
1 hard copy in my fire safe at home.
1 hard copy stored at my sisters house.
1 e-copy stored in my bank safe deposit box.

[Kodos]

That may be overkill, sir.

[ISiddiqui]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

You think you have decent life insurance. What if the company didnt pay the premium? Or let it lapse or there was a clerical error, or? or? or?

I doubt the US Government would not pay its employee premiums, but I guess it's possible .

[spleen1015]

We did wills right at the start of the pandemic. We were in the process of finding a lawyer when COVID started in the US. We sat down with the kids and laid out our expectations. We told them there's going to be money. Don't make dumbass decisions with the money. Use it on a house, save it, but don't waste it on dumb shit like a fancy car or hookers and blow.

I agree with CU Tiger. I don't want my death to be any more of a burden than it needs to be unlike my parents who don't have life insurance and don't have any means to pay for their own post death circumstances.

[JonInMiddleGA]

About the one situation that isn't covered here in terms of funeral/burial arrangement -- the details, not the financial -- is who'd know what our wishes were if we all three died in the same incident AND my own (admittedly older) mother died in that as well.

Otherwise, that stuff is well known in our house, kinda always has been. Blame my mother for that, I think, as she would routinely go over with me what she wanted done about every year or so from the time I was about 13 onward.

Random quirk: if my wife and I die separately (i.e. one goes before the other), we have different feelings about where to put our individual remains. So whomever lives longer gets final say. The thing we've kinda never resolved is an answer that doesn't make the kid's life less convenient in the long run, as there's no mutual location either of us would care to be buried.

[JonInMiddleGA]

From the pile of disturbing thoughts: my realization in the past few days that no matter when (or if, at this point) all "this stuff" ends, we're not coming out of it the same as we entered.

I'm talking about in terms of how we view certain people, etc.

I've put more people on 30 day mute on social in the past few months than I'd used in my entire online life previously, a couple are on round two already. And that's likely nothing more than a state of denial, that's generally a point of no return with me anyway.

That's ... depressing.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Now that you have a kid you should start thinking more about it. God forbid you both die, what happens? What is you break your neck and can't work? I'm assuming you make a halfway decent living, if you die don't you want your wife and child to b able to maintain a certain lifestyle?

Anyone who owns a home or has any decent assets should 100% have an umbrella policy, especially with how cheap they are.

It is shitty to think about, especially since the odds are so slim, but it should at least be considered IMO.

Yeah, we squared a lot of this all away right before our son was born. We did a will, who gets to take care of him if we both die (sorry, sis), and we already had stuff like 401k and life insurance. It was just a matter of checking up and making sure all the i's were dotted and t's crossed.

Don't care about burial. If I'm gone, I'm gone and part of the life insurance should go to paying for that.

SI

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

From the pile of disturbing thoughts: my realization in the past few days that no matter when (or if, at this point) all "this stuff" ends, we're not coming out of it the same as we entered.

I'm talking about in terms of how we view certain people, etc.

I've put more people on 30 day mute on social in the past few months than I'd used in my entire online life previously, a couple are on round two already. And that's likely nothing more than a state of denial, that's generally a point of no return with me anyway.

That's ... depressing.

I have the little bit of optimism in my mind that people are in the process of rethinking things, on the whole, and maybe we come out of this heading back on the upswing as opposed to the downswing. But it's probably naive of me to think so and, instead, it's entrenched things more than ever and we're just in this downward spiral toward the end of the "empire" and/or civil or world war.

SI