The Mental Health Thread

[NobodyHere]

I feel terrible right now, my mom invited me over for dinner tonight but I declined because at least one of my coworkers is positive for the covid and at least 2 more are potentially positive (They were out sick last week but I don't know what they have).

I'm going to try to get tested this week. I hear Walgreens has free testing.

[Ironhead]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

I feel terrible right now, my mom invited me over for dinner tonight but I declined because at least one of my coworkers is positive for the covid and at least 2 more are potentially positive (They were out sick last week but I don't know what they have).

I'm going to try to get tested this week. I hear Walgreens has free testing.

To clarify - you feel terrible for declining the invitation or you feel terrible as in you don't feel well?

[NobodyHere]

Declining the inventation.

Physically I have a slight headache. Also some dizziness (but that's from watching the Browns game).

ETA: I just have visions of my visit spreading the covid to her and she dies from it. I'm not sure I could live with that.

[spleen1015]

You're doing the right thing though. It's great your thinking with your head and not your heart even though it hurts.

My sister was tested free at Walgreens a few weeks ago. Took 3 days to get results.

[Galaril]

Man between Covid surging the election stress and worry about Trump winning my wife and I are off the rails stressed. On top of it she is a elementary school teacher and got called back to in person teaching late September and despite numerous outbreaks at her school and a few teachers getting the virus the district is keeping in person learning going ugh. Trying to maintain my sanity is tough and try not to think about if Trump wins.

[CrimsonFox]

[Kodos]

Trump isn’t going to win. But it is scary.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Trump isn’t going to win. But it is scary.

Be prepared to be wrong. They have the deck stacked to fight ANY results that go against them in every state. They're going to drag the findings out for months if they need to to find a way to keep the white house.

I truly hope its a blue landslide so they can go fuck themselves, but I've never been that lucky in life.

[Kodos]

I'm starting to feel like I need to just unplug from the news for a while.

[sterlingice]

62 days, give or take?

SI

[tyketime]

I finally had enough of the continuous undermining of our Presidential Election and the larger worry that irreparable harm is being done with very little thought or care about the longer-term impact. So for the first time ever, I wrote both my Senators (Sens Rubio & Scott from Florida) to express that concern and asked how much longer they were each willing to allow this to continue. It was written in a very courteous fashion with genuine concern and no name-calling. After pressing the button, I felt both immediately satisfied for speaking up as a concerned citizen, and horrified that somehow, someway I will regret having "spoken up and sent it".

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Kodos

I'm starting to feel like I need to just unplug from the news for a while.

Don't let it get to you. Skipping the news for just a day can do wonders already.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

62 days, give or take?

SI

That could do it.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by MIJB#19

Don't let it get to you. Skipping the news for just a day can do wonders already.

sometimes it cheers me up...and then like that it gets worse!

I don't want to watch the world end....but I am

[rjolley]

Originally Posted by Kodos

I'm starting to feel like I need to just unplug from the news for a while.

I unplugged from news, Twitter, and this board for a few months. I still haven't gone back to Twitter. I had to for my mental wellbeing. With COVID-19, BLM protests, and all of the political BS, there was too much going on and other parts of my life were suffering.

Take some time and unplug. It can do a world of good.

[miami_fan]

After the first major holiday of the holiday season here in the U.S., I just wanted to check in on how everyone was doing? Thanksgiving pretty much snuck up on me personally but it wasn't as different as I expected to be. I am hoping that is a good sign for the rest of the season.

[PilotMan]

Lack of control is really getting to me today. Between being stuck inside with Covid, the family having Covid, a son having anxiety attacks over being sick, and him worrying, to that same son making a stupid teenage decision and breaking his laptop (that literally means everything to him and sent him into hysterics and tears over it), to my middle son not feeling sick, but trying to finish his instrument rating, but not being able to because we're all sick and he's stuck under quarantine for another week plus, and frustration that he can't finish his check ride, or go to work, to my oldest's work blaming him for getting sick, when they were pushing them to work as long as they didn't have a fever, and his boss working with a fever, and throwing a hissy fit that he was going to get tested and now he's out for another 10 days, to my wife being sick and feeling miserable and all this is just maddening. Nothing feels like it's going right today, and all the bad shit is just stacked up at my door reminding me of all the shit I have no control over, and how everything sucks. Just one of those days. I can't even relax and enjoy it.

I don't even remember what a normal day is anymore. Kids going to school? Plans to go out? Things actually working out like they are planned? Negativity is winning the day.

[Kodos]

Wow. That's a ton of shit to be dealing with, PilotMan. Sorry you're going through such a shitshow at the moment. I hope everyone comes out on the other side feeling good and healthy soon.

[damnMikeBrown]

Hey PM, I’m in town.
Can I make a store run for you?

[GrantDawg]

This to shall pass, PM. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will. I hate you are going through it.

[PilotMan]

Thanks guys, I do appreciate having someplace to vent. dmb, I really appreciate the offer, we don't need anything at the moment, but it's nice to know people will go to that length for you. GD, you're right on, one day, one minute at a time, and it'll pass. Lots of deep breathing today to try and stay centered. So much out of my control. So much frustration with it. My youngest (17) had an anxiety attack the other night. He's been struggling with the loss of smell and taste, and was worried about losing his other senses (it's totally one of those things; last night was a fear of having pneumonia from covid).

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Lack of control is really getting to me today. Between being stuck inside with Covid, the family having Covid, a son having anxiety attacks over being sick, and him worrying, to that same son making a stupid teenage decision and breaking his laptop (that literally means everything to him and sent him into hysterics and tears over it), to my middle son not feeling sick, but trying to finish his instrument rating, but not being able to because we're all sick and he's stuck under quarantine for another week plus, and frustration that he can't finish his check ride, or go to work, to my oldest's work blaming him for getting sick, when they were pushing them to work as long as they didn't have a fever, and his boss working with a fever, and throwing a hissy fit that he was going to get tested and now he's out for another 10 days, to my wife being sick and feeling miserable and all this is just maddening. Nothing feels like it's going right today, and all the bad shit is just stacked up at my door reminding me of all the shit I have no control over, and how everything sucks. Just one of those days. I can't even relax and enjoy it.

I don't even remember what a normal day is anymore. Kids going to school? Plans to go out? Things actually working out like they are planned? Negativity is winning the day.

Very sorry to hear your crummy day(s).

I can't really appreciate everything you are going through (and easy for me to say) but I suspect your wife is the same if not more. Suggest you focus on her and her mental health, and you 2 can get through it together.

[Qwikshot]

I think the teenagers were the mystery factor at our house; they took too many risks. The boys are coping.

Saturday night my wife and my 8 year old played Among Us online with a bunch of friends and their kids. I think it was probably the best thing for him.

I just gotta figure out something for the 4 year old.

[NobodyHere]

I think I need some meaning in life

Everyday I'm tempted to tell by boss to go **** ******* but in a polite way. I have savings to last myself a couple years. I'm just not sure how employable I'd be after a "gap year" or so.

ETA:

Also with the covid vaccine in sight I don't want to be one of the last casualties.

[sterlingice]

I think the economy next year is very much up in the air - probably not the best idea, no matter how tempting

SI

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

I think I need some meaning in life

Everyday I'm tempted to tell by boss to go **** ******* but in a polite way. I have savings to last myself a couple years. I'm just not sure how employable I'd be after a "gap year" or so.

ETA:

Also with the covid vaccine in sight I don't want to be one of the last casualties.

If you are going to look for another job, it is much easier to do it while you still have one. Leaving now with all the uncertainty is probably not a good idea ... and many companies aren't hiring yet. But still get your CV ready and send them out in Jan (?). I think it helps to know you are actively doing something about your situation even if you hate your current job.

If you really are going to take a gap year, I think you'll still be employable in +1 year assuming you have a good story to tell (doesn't necessarily have to be 100% true). Key concerns I would have beyond the $ to last you (which apparently you do) are any debts, obligation etc. and medical insurance.

[thesloppy]

I have had a couple interviews recently that have gone to the second/third/fourth phase, but neither have made me an offer, and the whole process has been a kick to the nuts. This last place put me through 3 & 1/2 hours of remote interviews with literally 8 different people and then were just like "Nah.", with as little input or ceremony as possible.

My anxieties & mood are already trash cuz of (waves vaguely at everything) and repeatedly puffing myself up and getting shot down through the interview process isn't exactly helping.

[ISiddiqui]

So now it's my turn to be stressed a bit. So my wife's school district said they are going back come Hell or High water in January. The County threw out their previous standard (cases per 100k people) because it was so much higher than their bar - which seems like a really dumb thing to do.

So we immediately reached out to the daycare we registered with in October, when it seemed like school was going to start then - and then backed out when they said it wouldn't. The daycare was gracious and said, yes, we have a spot open in January, and we'll waive the registration fee since you did so in October.

Then, on 12/31, the County says oh we'll allow hardship waivers, including if you have a hardship regarding childcare. The hardship waiver will allow you to work from home virtually for 30 days.

Of course we've already, for the second time, engaged this daycare. Who on 12/31 indicated that there was someone who was exposed to Covid 19 in their twos and threes classes (sounds like one family who probably hung out with someone over Christmas) so they were going to close and deeply clean on 1/4.

So we reached out, asked for our kid to start on 1/11 because of that (which they were good with) and signed a hardship waiver for the week.

Would be more comfortable just having my wife at home for a month (and the kid as well) but we don't want to piss off this daycare that it took us a bit to find and stiff them again - as we would like to keep this place for the next few years.

So now I'm looking up covid spread in daycare and it seems very low, but this doesn't do well for my stress level.

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

I'm beginning to realize how out of touch most of my professional colleagues are with their own mortality.

The more conversation I have about COVID, the more I realize how polyana and care free so many people walk around every day.

Yes COVID is real and could kill you and Yes you should take precautions as much as possible.

But you do a lot of dumb more dangerous stuff as well. Not saying that to minimize it, saying that I think part of the freak out is people who have never seriously considered the possibility that they are going to die.

Work convo this morning where I "shocked" 4 40something co-workers when they learned I had a living will and an asset will and already owned my burial plots and had pre-paid for my funeral expenses. I did all this before I was 30. I honestly thought until today that made me in the norm....now I learn that no one..not even my 68 year old co-worker/employee has burial plots despite his wife being a 2 time cancer survivor.

I think the world is crazy and their priorities are skewed...

I don't know if CU comes to the board anymore or if any of you are in contact with him on other platforms. If you do, I just want to publicly thank him for initiating this conversation and thank all who participated. I mentioned this post and the conversation that followed to my wife's brother in law right around the time it posted. We discussed it for about 20 minutes while we watched sports and I don't ever remember talking about it again.

Well on Saturday, he had a seizure and passed away. On Sunday, my nephew gave me a box that he said his father said to give to me because I would understand what to do with the stuff since we are both veterans. The box contained many of the things we discussed here including his will that was signed on August 4th of last year, all his military paperwork/passwords for his online military records including completed forms that would ensure that my sister in law would maintain her benefits as a surviving spouse, his funeral program and his obit among other things. The thing that tied it back to this thread was a note that was in the box that mentioned our conversation.

My wife, sister in law, nephew and I went to make the arrangements for his funeral today. We spent all of 25 minutes in the funeral home. Ten of that was watching the funeral home director fill out his paperwork for the death certificate. Another five was calling the National Cemetery Administration to arrange the date for his funeral. The rest was just us receiving the logistics of the day of the funeral. I have had to take part in arranging a few of these now and none of them went this smooth. My sister in law did little more than confirm the date of the funeral and fill out the check that was in the box to pay for his funeral. Of course he had opened a separate account for that purpose.

I am going to miss that SOB!

[rjolley]

Thanks for bringing this up, miami_fan. My wife and I have talked about this, but haven't moved forward on a lot of it. We need to sit down and get the rest done...

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by rjolley

Thanks for bringing this up, miami_fan. My wife and I have talked about this, but haven't moved forward on a lot of it. We need to sit down and get the rest done...

I'm just going to throw something else in here, maybe it'll be a bump for someone.

For obvious reasons, some of this topic has been rather high on to-do list in my household for the past couple/few months. And we started moving forward on it ... only to have the attorney we use for financial things be unavailable because he was out due to Covid (not a major case or anything, just enough to put him out of reach for a while).

Aaaaand that was the last progress we made on it :/

Point of me sharing that is simply this: I know how easy it is to lose momentum on this sort of thing and then have it get lost in the shuffle. It's REALLY dumb for us to allow that to happen, and it's probably not the wisest play for anyone to allow that to happen. I'll try to get it moving again shortly, hopefully this post will nudge anybody who got sidetracked similarly.

[Lathum]

Sorry to hear about your wifes BIL. We did the same thing when we started working with our current financial planner. I may have referenced it earlier, hard to keep track, lol.

[Kodos]

I need to get on this stuff too. Thanks for the nudge.

[Radii]

Hm, I've not really worried about much since I'm single, no dependents, but since I have no debt and a slowly growing 401k and a healthy emergency fund I should figure out the cheapest way to legally say "my sister gets all my shit and can do whatever she wants with it." with some appropriate clause to make sure that our mom doesn't get anywhere remotely close to anything if I were to die before her.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by Radii

Hm, I've not really worried about much since I'm single, no dependents, but since I have no debt and a slowly growing 401k and a healthy emergency fund I should figure out the cheapest way to legally say "my sister gets all my shit and can do whatever she wants with it." with some appropriate clause to make sure that our mom doesn't get anywhere remotely close to anything if I were to die before her.

Specifically about 401k, life insurance, and other investment accounts, make sure your sister is listed as the beneficiary. This trumps a Will (or lack of).

About your other stuff (house, condo, car, card collection, computer games etc.), think you will need to create a Will if you want to ensure your sister gets all of that.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Remember that movie poster for Platoon, where whazhisname is on his knees, arms to the sky, as the napalm hits the tree line in the background?

That's pretty much how I feel right now, as the kid trudges upstairs to sleep, both of us knowing that all that's left is packing his car & him pulling out to head back to school tomorrow.

Feels about like that every single time he's done it, but damned if it isn't worse this time.

I just could weep, and wail toward the heavens ... but putting that in words and typing it here is a lot less disruptive soooo

[Kodos]

I'm sorry, Jon. Having him around must surely be a salve for your soul. I'm sorry his path is taking him away from you again in your time of need. He'll be back again.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Today is the first day all week (i.e. the first week of being the only fully mobile person in the house) that I've been in just a really shitty mood.

I know what it is: today is the first major errands-out-of-the-house day all week, and my loathing for that seems to be impacting everything, right down to me oversleeping my target wake-up by about 20-30 minutes.

The combination of that and having (so far) settled into a routine with all the various tasks I'm responsible for at the moment. Good news is the routine works in the sense of getting stuff done, bad news is that I'm not fond of how endless the day seems while doing so.

The shitty mood is obviously sub-optimal. On the upside, if you told me at any point in the last 40 years that I'd go almost a full week without being in a complete shit mood, I'd have either said you were dreaming or asked you what pharma was improving my life.

I feel a bit like Jules in that scene from Pulp Fiction, different context but same tone: "But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard

[albionmoonlight]

Be the Shepard, Jon.

[molson]

Today's my first day back in the office since around August, not including coming in to pick stuff up and to do a couple of court appearances over the more stable internet connection at work.

It's definitely already been a huge boost to my mood. It is really nice to be out of the house and chat with people as they walk by - though most are choosing to stay at home for now.

Though, it also hit me this morning that it was the first time in 10 years I went through my whole morning getting ready for work routine without feeding and walking my dog who died 2 months ago.

But, I'll take the good and bad and reflecting feelings over the morass that has been most of the last year.

[cuervo72]

I on the other hand am very, very contented to know that I won't have to go back to the office once things get back to normal. I don't miss the drive, I don't miss wearing something other than sweatpants. I interact with folks enough over Teams/WebEx. I am happy with my current setup.

[albionmoonlight]

Had a full blown nightmare last night--like a woke up sobbing nightmare.

It has been YEARS since that happened.

Pandemic stress, man. 12 months of this shit is 12 months too long.

[tarcone]

I went tot he doctor again yesterday. I have anxiety and it is moderate but worse the last couple months. I am on a couple drugs now. I need to quit watching the news and forget about how shitty our health care system is and life in general.

I hate how I feel. Hoping meds work. Because alcohol sure does and weed. But I know alcohol is worse than the drugs I get and they wont prescribe me weed. By the way, weed works best.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

I on the other hand am very, very contented to know that I won't have to go back to the office once things get back to normal. I don't miss the drive, I don't miss wearing something other than sweatpants. I interact with folks enough over Teams/WebEx. I am happy with my current setup.

Yes

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

Pandemic stress, man. 12 months of this shit is 12 months too long.

And, yes.

Our whole society is going to be dealing with some level of PTSD the rest of our lives

SI

[thesloppy]

Yeah, I feel like I'm seeing a lot of people who aren't familiar with depression/anxiety loudly announcing the basic symptoms & wondering what the hell is going on.

[tarcone]

Im on 2 drugs for anxiety. Are they working? Dont know, I just started taking the 2nd. I am hoping the doctor prescribes marijuana, but they wont. That is the best anxiety reliever for me besides alcohol. Hard to some across weed, so I drink on top of the meds they are giving me.

Stupid, I know, but the problems go away fro a night. And that is okay by me. Im 53 and diabetic and know my time is limited. 20 years? maybe. 15? okay. Just let me make it through.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

Yeah, I feel like I'm seeing a lot of people who aren't familiar with depression/anxiety loudly announcing the basic symptoms & wondering what the hell is going on.

That's a pretty damned good basic observation afaic.

[PilotMan]

I sent my Dad and Step Mom a text this week asking if they knew when they might get their covid vaccine. The first texts I've exchanged since Christmas. My dad is a very high risk group for covid with lung damage, but they don't really give two fucks about it. I found out at Christmas that they hosted quite a few people, eh, whatever. My relationship with my father has deteriorated over the last 8 years, and really badly over the last 5. He responded that he didn't know.

I got an email from him today, and all it said was covid. Then a forward from his own email (that I think his wife uses now, but I really don't know for sure) that has a Facebook link they had forwarded to themselves. I click on it, and it's been removed. Of course, I can only determine that it was something egregiously false and had been removed by Facebook.

I don't really know what to make of that, except to read into it that my concern for them (family is still family after all, and barely now) is unnecessary, and covid is a joke.

I more nail in the coffin. He's such an incredible disappointment. Is it wrong that even now, I hope that he'll be something that he's completely incapable to be? How does an only son rate on the level of importance as a distant acquaintance by a father? I have accepted it, but it still hits me from time to time. I have broken that cycle. My boys are my world behind my wife. I know they won't have to experience the pain and frustration that I've endured all these years.

[Kodos]

I'm sorry, Pilotman. That sounds like an awful family environment to have grown up in. You should be proud for not being the same way with your kids. Just know that the problem was never you. It was something in him.

The willful ignorance thing is so hard to deal with. There doesn't seem to be a way to combat it.

[Lathum]

The important thing is you broke the cycle.

I went to the viewing last night for my wifes cousins husband. He died at 42, massive heart attack while snowblowing last week. Was a great dad and person. Left behind an amazing wife and 4 boys under the age of 16. It is a shame some people don't want a relationship with their kids while others lose the chance so early.