04-08-2021, 10:59 AM | #751 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2013
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Quote:
Yeah, it looks like he's going to have the valve surgery. Doctors say the rest of his heart looks healthy.
__________________
"I am God's prophet, and I need an attorney" |
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04-08-2021, 11:33 AM | #752 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: North Carolina
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Quote:
Thoughts with you, man. |
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04-08-2021, 04:40 PM | #753 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Land O Lakes FL
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Quote:
Well that sucks. I hope things have gotten better Foz.
__________________
"The blind soldier fought for me in this war. The least I can do now is fight for him. I have eyes. He hasn’t. I have a voice on the radio, he hasn’t. I was born a white man. And until a colored man is a full citizen, like me, I haven’t the leisure to enjoy the freedom that colored man risked his life to maintain for me. I don’t own what I have until he owns an equal share of it. Until somebody beats me and blinds me, I am in his debt."- Orson Welles August 11, 1946 |
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04-08-2021, 06:47 PM | #754 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The State of Insanity
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I didn't exactly get super restful sleep, more like an hour and a half at a time, but yeah, doing somewhat better.
__________________
Check out Foz's New Video Game Site, An 8-bit Mind in an 8GB world! http://an8bitmind.com |
04-13-2021, 11:40 AM | #755 |
The boy who cried Trout
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: TX
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Can't stop obsessing about work. Whee.
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04-13-2021, 11:55 AM | #756 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
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This could go in the cancer thread, but it fits here as well. After the last round of chemo I’ve been in and out of the hospital 5 times in the last 5 days with a high heart rate (tachycardia) and other symptoms they can’t explain - there’s a decent chance some of it’s just anxiety and obsessing over my numbers and vitals but man, I think this is the lowest I’ve been mentally in a long time.
The hour plus drive to the hospital plus putting my wife through the drive at all hours is tough as well. I wish they’d admit me until numbers go back up but that isn’t an option unfortunately. |
04-13-2021, 12:04 PM | #757 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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That sounds very difficult. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I hope things take a turn for the better soon.
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04-13-2021, 12:24 PM | #758 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Newburgh, NY
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That's tough, bhlloy. I hope things turn around for you.
__________________
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers |
04-13-2021, 12:32 PM | #759 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2013
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Ditto on the good wishes.
__________________
"I am God's prophet, and I need an attorney" |
04-13-2021, 12:57 PM | #760 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Land O Lakes FL
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Quote:
I am sorry to hear about these struggles. I hope things get better soon. I can't speak for your wife but I am willing to go out on this limb. While it is may not be the ideal way to spend a hour plus, I don't think she feels you are "putting her through" anything by driving to the hospital to figure out what is going on with the goal of getting you better. That sort of guilt while understandable is probably not helpful to you or truthful for her.
__________________
"The blind soldier fought for me in this war. The least I can do now is fight for him. I have eyes. He hasn’t. I have a voice on the radio, he hasn’t. I was born a white man. And until a colored man is a full citizen, like me, I haven’t the leisure to enjoy the freedom that colored man risked his life to maintain for me. I don’t own what I have until he owns an equal share of it. Until somebody beats me and blinds me, I am in his debt."- Orson Welles August 11, 1946 |
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04-13-2021, 06:49 PM | #761 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Best wishes.
Easy to say but hang in there. |
05-06-2021, 10:42 PM | #762 |
World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Mom passed away tonight. Really she has been gone for probably a decade, but her body gave up tonight. Dementia is such a horrible thing to happen to someone. Hers was advanced enough that she really couldn't even communicate for the last few years. You know they will go. You know they have gone. It is the weirdest of all griefs.
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05-06-2021, 11:26 PM | #763 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I’m so sorry to hear that. We went through dementia with my mother over about 6 years. It’s a terrible way to go. You have my sincerest condolences.
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05-07-2021, 12:33 AM | #764 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: PDX
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That sucks, so sorry. My grandma had Parkinson's related dementia, and it is so hard & frustrating to watch.
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Last edited by thesloppy : Today at 05:35 PM. |
05-07-2021, 05:24 PM | #765 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
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So back in December 2020 we were as a family to go to Disneyworld. My father has cancer and wants to do some things for the grandkids in prep for when he can't.
Of course 4 days before flight, my wife, son and myself got COVID, our 9 year old probably had it to with no symptoms. Postponed to May. Here we are 9 days before flight and my mother in law had a stroke. My wife has to drive 6 hours to upstate NY to check in my father in law. I had spoken to the wife about my concerns with my in-laws and end of life care. While my father has stared eye wide open and gotten his affairs in order, my in-laws are about 8 years OLDER than my father and it seems they never prepared. My father in law didn't call anyone until the 3rd ambulance trip required hospitalization and my mother in law is partially paralyzed. He doesn't even know the health history (my wife apparently has a better idea, my own mother prepped her for DNR, powers of attorney and living wills), my sister in law is out in L.A. and won't be able to fly in until Disney week. My wife and I aren't sure on the prognosis. She thinks that a nursing home is the only option should she recover and she's fully prepped that this coming weekend may be a funeral. Mother in law never really kept herself healthy, so being somewhat obese and already showing signs of dementia, this kind of takes the cake. I'm hoping she recovers enough to be ambulatory. There is a good chance my wife has to talk to them both about long term care in PA simple because of logistics. You hate to see that iceberg, but I knew this day was going to come. Mother's day weekend too...I do think my wife is handling it very well, I just wish her parents had prepped for this.
__________________
"General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams |
05-07-2021, 06:17 PM | #766 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Land O Lakes FL
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I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. I was thinking about bumping the posts about all of us taking care of this sort of stuff earlier this week. I think your post is another crucial reminder.
__________________
"The blind soldier fought for me in this war. The least I can do now is fight for him. I have eyes. He hasn’t. I have a voice on the radio, he hasn’t. I was born a white man. And until a colored man is a full citizen, like me, I haven’t the leisure to enjoy the freedom that colored man risked his life to maintain for me. I don’t own what I have until he owns an equal share of it. Until somebody beats me and blinds me, I am in his debt."- Orson Welles August 11, 1946 |
05-11-2021, 06:11 PM | #767 |
World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Just to give you a picture of my family, I have asked multiple times leading up today whether they needed me yo do anything. Fir the service. I was told "no, it is handled." Two minutes before the service began, my sister says, "so you are officiating, right?" I had two minutes to pull something out of the air. I then proceeded to have to cater the whole family get together after. Not one person brought anything, or offered.
My head may explode. Sent from my SM-G996U using Tapatalk Last edited by GrantDawg : 05-11-2021 at 06:12 PM. |
05-11-2021, 07:27 PM | #768 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Wow. Talk about aggravation when you really don't need it. Sorry your family handled things like that.
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05-11-2021, 07:53 PM | #769 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Pacific
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Im really thankful my Dad has taken care of everything. My siblings and I are on his mortgage, he has already paid for his cremation and is to be interred at a national cemetery, etc.
My in-laws have done nothing. That will be a major head ache.
__________________
Excuses are for wusses- Spencer Lee Punting is Winning- Tory Taylor The word is Fight! Fight! Fight! For Iowa FOFC 30 Dollar Challenge Champion-OOTP '15 |
05-12-2021, 11:00 AM | #770 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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Quote:
That is just shocking. I am blown away. I'm not sure I'd continue to be close with people like that, family or not. Just WOW.
__________________
He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam |
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05-12-2021, 01:17 PM | #771 |
World Champion Mis-speller
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Covington, Ga.
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Don't worry. I am not. They have disowned my trans nephew. I couldn't even begin to tell you what he went through growing up, and then having my sisters mock him then write him off. I deal with them as little as possible.
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05-13-2021, 12:31 AM | #772 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Not sure what thread to put this in, feels like it belongs in this one.
Just had a genuine laugh,something in short supply for me for quite a while now. The whole sequence leading was no more than 3-4 minutes, just a quick discussion with the kid about possible leadership for the speculative WWE launch of an NXT-Mexico brand. And I cracked wise with a couple of intentionally absurd possibilities. That belongs in this thread, I think, because as he headed off to bed afterwards I was struck solidly by the realization that he's literally the only person on earth I could have had that exchange with in person. There are a few folks here who would have gotten what was funny and why, I have one social media "friend" who would have gotten it (possibly two others) ... but I've literally never been in the same room with any of those people. I'm sure a random stranger at the right indy show would have gotten my crack and maybe even laughed but that's ... different. Same as knowing somebody might have thrown a positive reply my way if I'd tweeted the same comment with the right #hashtag. The sense of isolation that highlighted to me was pretty stark. And, honestly, blaming that on the pandemic would be pretty much b.s. My life hasn't changed that much in terms of face to face interactions that aren't consumer oriented. It's fine, I'm fine, that's just how life worked out or whatever. But it was a sobering little reality check.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
05-13-2021, 07:31 AM | #773 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
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My wife is still in upstate NY trying to help with end of life planning for her parents.
We fly out Sunday to Disney, I'm not packed yet. Our sink broke, plumber comes today, not something I could fix, a coupling screw sheared and I couldn't remove it from the drain. I realized I've almost been on this site 20 years. I would've been 25 and probably just broken up with my girlfriend and raising my daughter alone (and without any legal rights to do so). This year, I'm 45 with a wife (10 years this July), two sons and finally adopted my daughter this year (20 years!). I played City of Heroes and other multiplayer games with members here, commiserated with them, mourned their losses. I've picked fights with them too. But I was drawn to the game and those that played it. I just wonder now that it's going dormant (the game), what becomes of this place. Will I visit here for another 20 to get different perspectives (whether I agree of disagree)?
__________________
"General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams |
05-17-2021, 09:08 PM | #774 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: The State of Insanity
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Oi, wot a day
Just to explain my shitty, not-good day: You need to bring nine billion documents to get a RealID (birth certificate, lease/rent agreement, etcetera). Due to COVID, only a few locations are open for customer-facing stuff like transferring your license. The nearest one is Plymouth, over an hour's drive. A) The day started off with Jody taking me down to Plymouth, only he hit the wrong location on his nav system, and drove me to the Brockton RMV, not Plymouth (30 miles, 45 minutes away) Eh, shit happens. B) The RMV is 95% closed, you have to wait in your car. No problem. C) Turns out that you need the declaration page, not the several other documents I had from insurance company with address and info on it. Slight problem (It meant I was going to only get a standard ID instead of a RealID, but I'd still have two years before I needed the RealID to fly or anything like that), but no big deal. D) Apparently, when I moved from RI to MA, I didn't cancel the plates on my MA title properly, so I had a three year old excise tax bill of $67 preventing my license from being re-issued (despite the fact I had a RI license the entire time). It cost $162 between interest and penalties to pay that. So, a total of 3+ hours riding in a car and dealing with overly officious jerkfaces for nothing except pain and suffering. E) So, we have to go and do it all again at some point soon. I literally ordered Chipotle on the way home, because there was no way in HELL I was going to stay upright long enough to cook a meal today or tonight. I ate it, took a pain pill and went far far away to bye-bye land and rested.
__________________
Check out Foz's New Video Game Site, An 8-bit Mind in an 8GB world! http://an8bitmind.com Last edited by SirFozzie : 05-17-2021 at 09:09 PM. |
05-17-2021, 11:31 PM | #775 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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My Dad rebroke his ankle at the doctor’s office while getting an x-ray last Friday. Lost his balance while positioning his foot and fell. He originally broke it last November in a fall at home. Ended up spending a month plus in a rehab place for elderly people. This time, the doctor sent him home in a brace and said he’d be okay. I get him home, got him in his chair, although it was a struggle. Can barely walk. By 5 a.m., the pain is so bad we call an ambulance to take him to the clinic. No other way I could get him there by myself. Long story short, he’s back at the rehab place that he desperately wanted to avoid returning to. Getting surgery on Wednesday, who knows how long this stint will be. And now I find myself at the emergency pet clinic with his cat, who suddenly started wigging out and drooling/panting/peeing a couple hours ago. I’m afraid she is dying. I let the kids say goodbye as I left, just in case I’m right. This sucks.
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06-13-2021, 09:57 PM | #776 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Land O Lakes FL
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I am struggling to figure out my emotions after the events of the last week and particularly today. I am hoping I can get some clarity by writing it out. Excuse me if it comes out a bit rambling.
I called my aunt today and also spoke with my uncle. I don't consider him a favorite uncle as I do my Summer Dad. For most of the summers of the 1980's, my Summer Dad and my aunt would have all of their nieces and nephews come to Philadelphia and then South Jersey to spend the entire summer with them. I know we never had less than 10 kids at any point of the summer while I lived at home. The most we had at one time was 23 kids ranging from 17 to 2 years in age. I could go through all the things that make him amazing for that alone but I will limit it to two. We are his nieces and nephews by marriage. Yeah we all say it does not make a difference and so on and so forth but let's be real here. I have three or four of my nieces and nephews around for a week and I am starting to check to make sure their parents will not be delayed in any way when it is pickup time. Second, as recently as Summer 2019, they had nine of their GRAND nieces and nephews spend the summer with them. Anyways, the significance of talking to him today was how great he sounded. He was hospitalized with COVID back in the middle of January. By the middle of February, the doctors called my aunt and asked whether she wanted to have the minister of her church perform last rites or whatever the equivalent is for the Methodist Church or does she want the hospital chaplain to do so. By the beginning of April, he was moved to a rehab facility. From the facility, my aunt sent out a video where Summer Dad begged everyone in the family to get the COVID vaccine. He did not want anyone to go through what he was going though. In the beginning of May, he went home but went right back to the hospital less than a week later. He came home about earlier this month. While he still is struggling to move more, he was so proud that he was able to climb the four stairs up to the bedroom by himself with no assistance. The reason I called in the first place is I needed the link to the funeral service of another "uncle". He was actually a second cousin but I knew him as Uncle. We were not as close as my Summer Dad but we got along pretty well. He was really close with my mom though. Similar to the way we grew up with our cousins, the previous generation did the same. Uncle had the opportunity to get his COVID vaccine for a couple of months now but did not. He was waiting to get more information. He said he was only going to the market anyways. I don't know if he was anti vaccine or not. He was hospitalized with COVID around the same time Summer Dad came home. He died this past Tuesday. I watched the funeral with my mom today. Because the country where he lives is in a lockdown, only ten people locally could attend his funeral at the church. While the funeral was broadcast via YouTube, we had a family zoom going to have some sort of togetherness during the service. I have done the Zoom/Youtube funerals throughout last year. This however was the first one that brought some feelings of real anger along with sadness. I believe in everyone's choice to get the vaccine or not. Intellectually, I understand the reasons for hesitancy in getting the vaccine. Emotionally, I am struggling watching the family not be able to even see the casket because the cameraperson did not show it on the stream and no one could not fly in for the service due to the lockdown. I am struggling with all the after effects that I saw due to something I believe was preventable. If I am being honest with myself, I am not devastated by my uncle's death. Sad, yes. Devastated, no. We were not that close for me to be devastated. But there were a whole lot of people in that zoom call that were devastated including my mother. I think that is what is really bothering me. He was healthy BESIDES getting COIVD. He was 69 years old and people were still talking about his competitiveness in playing basketball as recently as 6-7 months ago. Does it really make a difference that he died from COVID and not from something else? It shouldn't right? He is not the first person I know that died from COVID. He is the first one to die that has access to the vaccine and refused to get it. He is also the that first one to die since my Summer Dad sent out his video about getting the vaccine. I feel like that should have made a difference. But that feels like I am blaming my uncle and invalidates my position on everyone's choice. I guess I am struggling with viewing the after effects of his decision. Maybe I have convinced myself that if he knew the after effects he would make a different decision. Maybe I have convinced myself that the vaccine is closer to a cure all than it actually is.
__________________
"The blind soldier fought for me in this war. The least I can do now is fight for him. I have eyes. He hasn’t. I have a voice on the radio, he hasn’t. I was born a white man. And until a colored man is a full citizen, like me, I haven’t the leisure to enjoy the freedom that colored man risked his life to maintain for me. I don’t own what I have until he owns an equal share of it. Until somebody beats me and blinds me, I am in his debt."- Orson Welles August 11, 1946 |
06-14-2021, 08:59 AM | #777 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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That's tough. Such a senseless loss. The vaccines don't make you bulletproof, but I think it is fair to say that he would still be alive if he had gotten the vaccine when it became available to him. I'm sorry for your loss.
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06-14-2021, 12:04 PM | #778 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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I've wondered of the impact of family deaths on anti-vaxxers. There's been enough death and hospitalization that you'd think almost everyone has been personally impacted at this point, or at least know someone who has. And that doesn't convince them I guess. Whatever the dynamic is, its stronger than news of death and hospitalization.
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06-14-2021, 12:45 PM | #779 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I wonder how the anti-vaxxers feel when they get Covid and hit the point where they know they are going to die.
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06-14-2021, 01:58 PM | #780 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
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About the same as everyone else does when they find out their death is imminent.
Last edited by Brian Swartz : 06-14-2021 at 01:58 PM. |
06-14-2021, 02:01 PM | #781 | |
Favored Bitch #1
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
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Quote:
I suspect it feels different when it could have easily been avoided, although I suspect they just lie to themselves. I would imagine there has to be some second guessing or maybe they are cool with dying to own the libs. Last edited by Lathum : 06-14-2021 at 02:02 PM. |
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06-14-2021, 02:03 PM | #782 | |
Favored Bitch #1
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
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Quote:
I think people in general have a very strong sense of “that won’t happen to me” along with propaganda, etc. |
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06-14-2021, 02:23 PM | #783 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: North Carolina
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Quote:
South Dakota nurse says some patients deny COVID-19 is real, even as they die from it | KTLA |
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06-14-2021, 02:43 PM | #784 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The scorched Desert
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Geez, I can't even imagine what healthcare workers like her go through on a daily basis. Bless them all!
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08-10-2021, 07:43 PM | #785 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Good a thread as any for this (hopefully brief) whine on my part.
I'm tired. But that's not what worries me. With the things coming our way at my house over the next 6, 9, howevermany weeks, I'm specifically worried that I'm started from too worn down to carry my part of the load. It's a different level of uncomfortable than I've been at any point in my wife's ordeal. We're bringing in (or at least TRYING to bring in) professional help for tasks short-term (and longer term if need be) but I'm still .. distressed. Over this aspect, along with allllllllll the other aspects that are more obvious. I can't quite shut down the drumbeat in my head that sounds like "and it's only going to get harder ... and harder". I'm trying, but so far, I'm failing to quiet that very much. Not the best scenario when we have a 330a departure for her 530a port surgery looming in the morning. I'm just venting y'all, don't over worry it or anything. I'm just looking for words I guess, trying to get my head around it all.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
08-10-2021, 08:17 PM | #786 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: North Carolina
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That drumbeat is the worst. I don't have much advice other than to try to focus on what's in front of you and not put too much energy into speculations about what might be coming down the road. You plan for it as best you can. Then you do your best to focus on other things.
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10-25-2021, 09:18 PM | #787 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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My fucking Dad...
I never look forward to seeing him anymore. We have never been further apart either, and there's still a part inside that wants what I didn't have. A father mainly. I haven't seen him in 2 years when we crossed paths while we were on a family vacation. We've lived in NKY for 19 years now. He and his wife visited once, for Ean's baptism (he's 18 now btw). They did not attend any of the kids graduations. We've been there multiple times, but none in about 10 years as a family. The last time we tried, was over the 4th of July, and we were told they were occupied with their own party, didn't have space at the house for us, and to simply not come. I've spent a good portion of my adulthood trying to get something I was never going to get, and then raising my own boys to have those things en masse. As I raised my boys my own resentment toward him for his failings only grew to the point I have next to no patience for him at all. The election in 2016 didn't help matters. As a POW, I lost all respect for him when trump badmouthed McCain, a legend and a leader for what he endured during the war. My father rationalized it by saying that he wasn't talking about 'him' directly, so therefore, it was ok. So much for sticking together. Since then, we don't talk. I told him I pretty much have zero respect for him after that. He lives in Texas, watches Fox, knows all the talking points. So suffice to say, we don't have a lot to say. He plays favorites with my grandkids. He knows all about Zach, the pilot, and next to nothing about Ean, and even less about Cole. Doesn't really even try to. It's all about the pilot. Covid came around and he's got some serious underlying conditions. I asked a while back about getting vaccinated, and I ended up with a fake news piece about how Hank Aaron died because he got vaccinated. My Dad has a masters in English. He's always been a smart guy to me. But I couldn't believe that this is who he's become. This weekend, we'll be seeing he and his wife at reunion for a specific veterans group in Dayton. We're purposely attending only one event, and bringing the boys. Both have received scholarships from this organization and I want them to be able to thank people and see what the organization is. I also received one and am a lifetime member now. The formal dinner, that we're attending was supposed to be at the Air Force Museum, but he said they changed venues because of masks and social distancing. Which is a major bummer. That was the one thing that we were attending. Then the Covid part of the conversation came out. "It's all fake; not real." "It's just the flu." "The number of deaths are exactly the same" "The government is paying hospitals to say deaths are Covid" "Nobody has died from old age in 2 years" and on and on. I actually laughed for an extended period of time, and told him all of that was complete and utter bullshit. I feel the anger rising in me. I told him I got my booster vaccine and all he said was 'good for you'. Which of course, leads me to believe that they are not vaccinated. I said, "over 4 million deaths worldwide now" and he replied "good, the planet is over populated anyway" I continued, "so we're cheering on deaths of complete strangers now?" To which he said, no, don't be ridiculous, and calm down, or something like that. My adrenaline flows immediately now when I'm close, or even the idea that we're going to be close. My wife is actively trying to hold me back from a verbal onslaught of decades of anger and frustration over the phone. I have no idea how I'm going to get through Saturday night, but sadly I'm not looking forward to it anymore. I told her I can feel Tom Petty coming out (Won't Back Down), but she thinks I need more Frozen (Let It Go). I have come to grips mostly that we are only acquaintances now and that is 100% how he wants it. We are not in the primary, or even secondary circle. I've mourned that loss already, but the anger with everything else, and the anger at how his grandkids were mostly ignored, and how he's more or less, totally ambivalent to all of it just pisses me off more and more. It's gonna take all my effort to get through it and not tell him exactly what's in my heart and not cause an issue for anyone else. Maybe it won't be that hard, but I refuse to be his subordinate any longer.
__________________
He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam Last edited by PilotMan : 10-25-2021 at 09:19 PM. |
10-25-2021, 11:41 PM | #788 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The scorched Desert
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Damn bro, I feel for you man
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10-26-2021, 06:28 AM | #789 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Land O Lakes FL
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That is tough reading Pilot. Do you need to have any relationship with your dad? You say that you have mourn the loss of that relationship but still seem to engaged in some sort of relationship with him.
__________________
"The blind soldier fought for me in this war. The least I can do now is fight for him. I have eyes. He hasn’t. I have a voice on the radio, he hasn’t. I was born a white man. And until a colored man is a full citizen, like me, I haven’t the leisure to enjoy the freedom that colored man risked his life to maintain for me. I don’t own what I have until he owns an equal share of it. Until somebody beats me and blinds me, I am in his debt."- Orson Welles August 11, 1946 |
10-26-2021, 08:22 AM | #790 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I would try to cut off that relationship. All he brings you and your family is pain. I'm sorry you've had such a bad relationship with him over the years, but, as a rule, assholes don't change for the better. They usually only get worse.
Last edited by Kodos : 10-26-2021 at 08:36 AM. |
10-26-2021, 08:58 AM | #791 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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PM, having my own issues with my father, I feel for you man.
You gotta find a way to let it go. Somehow, some way. I hope you can.
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Why choose failure when success is an option? |
10-26-2021, 09:39 AM | #792 |
Solecismic Software
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canton, OH
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One thing I try to remind myself, especially in this day and age where seemingly everything is life-or-death political, is that in most serious disagreements, the other person believes just as strongly as you do that he or she is acting rationally.
I think the worst thing someone can do - and it's ten times worse now that everyone's so good at isolating in the home, connected only by a tenuous wire that filters out anything remotely human - is cut off communication with a friend or a loved one. Time heals. So does genuinely trying to see something from another point of view. In the case of COVID, I don't know what's going on out there. It's like our politicians and our media have chosen to take this legitimate crisis and use it to bash as much humanity out of this world as humanly possible. My wife and I are vaccinated, by the way. We took the time when it was made available to us back in April to read about benefits and side-effects - actually read the studies the drug companies are required to undertake and, I believe, would be criminally liable for falsifying. So we got the shots - my wife was hit a lot harder than I was, but nothing that felt dangerous. And we go about our lives, because we wanted to see family this summer and her parents are at that age when COVID is often deadly. I don't know what to say about the people who seem determined to believe the crazy stuff. The media makes money by getting people all fired up (the recent Facebook stuff shows that quite clearly). And they are no longer shy about their biases. So what do people read when they don't trust? Often total b.s. - on both sides of the aisle - and there's no way to get around that. We have to accept that people we love sometimes believe things that maybe they shouldn't. And they feel very strongly that we're the ones who are being hoodwinked, let to slaughter like the proverbial sheep. Last week, I had an electrician evaluate some work at our home - it's getting to that age when you do things like replace the breaker board. And as he's leaving, a full one hour of stuff straight off of one of those right-wing networks. And I could see it was genuine - that he genuinely agonized over his decision not to get the vaccine. I could barely get a word in edgewise, not that I wanted to force him to listen or anything. I figure that being a good listener is still a positive skill in this world and, well, we need an experienced electrician (nine others have looked at our house and not wanted to work on it). So I'm rewarded with a really good bid on work I was prepared to pay twice as much for, and all it cost me was a little frustration and maybe I even said a couple of things he'll think about later. Mostly that you just have to turn that damned television off and stop watching the "news" these days and focus on people you care about. Sorry to ramble. There's a lot I would like to share regarding this item - a lot I've been through myself - but I don't know. What Qwikshot wrote back in May - that kind of thing means a lot to me, though I've never been able to feel like I belonged to this group myself. I wish that were different. |
10-26-2021, 05:26 PM | #793 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Newbury, England
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Quote:
QFT - I find reading news stories is a lot less stressful than watching news programmes now: while websites/papers have their angles, they generally don’t come across as polemic somehow, and the trend over here for ‘gotcha’ political questioning drives me nuts Who knew 24-hour news programming could be so toxic? Ron Burgundy was right all along
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'A song is a beautiful lie', Idlewild, Self Healer. When you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you. Sports! |
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10-26-2021, 06:42 PM | #794 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: PDX
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Fox News seems to have purposely structured their programming so it can be left on all day, blathering in the corner like a drunk friend. Repeating the same thoughts over and over, but making sure to use different voices so that it never feels repetitive enough to force a channel change. Are the rest of the news channels intended to be all-day, constant viewing, or is Fox unique in that aspect?
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Last edited by thesloppy : Today at 05:35 PM. |
10-26-2021, 09:41 PM | #795 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Land O Lakes FL
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Quote:
I third this. I haven't watched the news in months.
__________________
"The blind soldier fought for me in this war. The least I can do now is fight for him. I have eyes. He hasn’t. I have a voice on the radio, he hasn’t. I was born a white man. And until a colored man is a full citizen, like me, I haven’t the leisure to enjoy the freedom that colored man risked his life to maintain for me. I don’t own what I have until he owns an equal share of it. Until somebody beats me and blinds me, I am in his debt."- Orson Welles August 11, 1946 |
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10-27-2021, 06:49 AM | #796 | |
Solecismic Software
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canton, OH
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Quote:
I think so. It's no secret these days that if you want viewers, make them mad about something. That's why the major social media players don't give you a timeline, they give you a feed designed to show you what's most likely to get you angry. We apparently spend too much of our time getting angry about things we can't control. I try to remind myself at least once a day that a big part of the purpose of my life is doing things that will make the lives of the people around me better. And it's the media's "job" these days to convince you that if it only weren't for MTG or AOC or Manchin or Pelosi or Cotton or some random school board president, your life would be idyllic. When the fact is that none of these people will ever be, to channel Cliff Claven, in your kitchen. |
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10-29-2021, 06:47 AM | #797 |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Too much anxiety this week to even write about
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL |
10-29-2021, 07:04 AM | #798 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
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Quote:
The concern is that a lot of people are buying into it, have bought into it. I check thehill.com and politico and slate, but I really I'm checking for when they start coming for us. This Tuesday with elections will be the canary in the coalmine. If it shifts majorly red (especially Trumpists), I'll have to consider my options. That clip in the other thread about the guy asking when do we start shooting them should make it very clear where we are going, not just as a country but as a world. Think about it this way, where would you go if the U.S. became destabilized? The EU is a thin mesh with UK sitting out and it is ripe for Russia to start pushing in. South and Central America are what they are. Sudan is having a coup which seems par for the course in Africa. India and Pakistan will at some point escalate. The Pacific is ripe for China to subvert (Australia and New Zealand will not go unscathed). There is no way out. I find it hard to believe that the possibility in 8 to 10 years is an exodus of people from the US but I think it's certainly possible. Of course, this is worst case scenario, but if Trump does get back into office, he won't leave until he dies.
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"General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams |
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10-29-2021, 07:08 AM | #799 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
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I'm leaving my above thread here instead of some of the other political threads because it has affected my health and happiness and increased my concern for my children.
I'm glad I got fitted for a night guard because I was grinding my teeth with the tension and it was apparently a big contributor to my migraines. So I'm feeling better, feeling worse. The best I can do is spend time with my kids and raise them not only to do right but be smart about how to handle the future. I've always been an in the shadows guy myself, just have to teach them when someone you love or work with or just on the street starts spouting Trumpisms, put on that mask and smile and move forward.
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"General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams |
10-29-2021, 07:59 AM | #800 |
Solecismic Software
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Canton, OH
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If so many adults are ruining their health over the perception that the other side is coming for them, think about what this does to kids. They don't have the life experience to filter out busted predictions. They don't yet have the mature brain development to sort out the difference between impulse and planning as motivation.
The media has both sides worried that the other side hates them more than life itself. Generally, I've found that most people - conservative or liberal - genuinely want to make the world a better place. They just disagree on how to get there. The current discourse in politics and media is to try and use fear to divide us rather than communication to bring us together. There's less clickbait and soundbyte in effective communications. It's ironic that journalism is found in college communications programs. These days, it's a rather poor name - communications implies that journalists are a good way one group can exchange ideas and information with another group. That's just not how it works any more, and real damage is being done. |
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