The thread for bits from old shows that you refer to and nobody ever gets

[sabotai]

Gravity is a harsh mistress.

[Bobble]

There are two I steal from Taxi, both Jim Ignatowki quotes:

- Any time I get a date or day of the week wrong, I say that I thought we switched to the metric system.

Louie De Palma: Ignatowski! Where have you been all week?
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I don't work weekends.
Louie De Palma: You been gone nine days!
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah...
Tony Banta: Jim, weekends are only two days.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, I thought we'd switched to the metric system.


- The second one is one I've thrown out a lot but generally just gets crickets. I'm beginning to realize that only *I* find it funny. I'll make a grand, declarative statement and then follow it up with an equally dramatic, "or fail to do so!"

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Bobble

The other one I use is one that I don't think people get the reference to but the joke stands on it's own very well. When I'm asked where I am (by phone ferinstance), I say "I'm directly beneath the Earth's sun................ NOW!"

I just used that one on my friend the other day and followed it up with "the car in front of me turned off its lights...must be a GHOST car!"

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Yup, that's The State.

They call me bologna feet...sandwich feet...penis face.

And another one from Taxi where Jim is taking his drivers test:

Jim: What does a yellow light mean.
Tony Danza: Slow down
Jim: Whaaaaat dooooesss a yelllowww light meeeeaann...
Danza: Slow down

[QuikSand]

Late to the game but...

I do this all the time, especially in social settings, making semi-obscure references to movies, television, music and pop culture. When appropriate, I do it in the proper voice (or the best impression I can muster) and/or inflection, but I rarely take any time to offer context or any help. Either you get it, or you don't, and I'm okay with that.

The list is way, way too long to recite here...

Give that man his money
That's not a knife
Coffee is for closers
Okay...uhh....uncle? (very obscure)
Mmmmmmmm...buffalo (very very obscure, even if you detect it's in Homer Simpson's voice)
Perhaps you'd be more comfortable at one of our lower stakes tables
Excellent (alternates in voice of Kissinger/Burns)
I don't mean in no paper cup I'm talking about a glass of beer
Shoot the glass
Demented and sad, but social
Badges?

...this is a long and sordid list that I am forgetting. I don't exactly carry around a catalog, it just happens. And in proper company, on the occasion when an acquaintance happens to "get" one of my even semi-obscure references, it's like we have a new bond.

[ColtCrazy]

Originally Posted by rowech

Fawlty Towers has countless references for our family. Seinfeld has quite a few and one that my wife and I quote back and forth a lot is Everybody Loves Raymond.

Fawlty Towers! Sadly, with an English father, my father and I have a lot of British TV comments that no one else really gets around Southern Indiana, although a friend and I make random Holy Grail comments from time to time.

I also usually answer "42" to anyone who even remotely asks what the whole point to life is.

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Shoot the glass

For proper effect, this one should be "schieß dem fenster" and then when they look at you funny, you say "shoot the glass."

[Logan]

When someone describes something seemingly impossible that needs to be done, I like dropping "and a hook shot!" in a slightly high-pitched voice.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I, also, do this sort of thing all of the time. I have all of these "triggers", for lack of a better word, such that if I hear a certain word or phrase the "trigger" goes off and I immediately spout off some random quote or word from some movie or TV show.

For example, if I'm in the kitchen and anyone asks me to get a spoon, I will almost always ask: "Why a spoon, cousin?"

An aside: In fact, for whatever reason, there are a number of quotes from "Robin Hood Prince of Thieves" that I fall back on for no good reason, because it's not a great movie, I just happened to see it. A lot:

You whine like a mule.
Allah loves wondrous variety.
Move faster.
I have a brother? I have a brother!
To the trees!

Whenver I say the word "automobile", I have a strong urge to say it, and often do, exactly like Long Duck Dong.

Whenver I'm about to eat a donut, I say: "Mmmm, forbidden donut..."

Other Simpson quotes I fall back on a lot:

In your face, Space Coyote!
Maybe I do, son. Maybe... I... Do.
Don't make me run, I am full of chocolate!
Don't quit your day job, Chief! Whatever /that/ is.
It tastes like burning!
I am so smart. I am so smart. SMRT!
Grease me up, woman! (This is said whenever my wife puts any kind of lotion on me for any reason)
You blouse wearin' poodle walker!
You silk wearin' buttercup!

There are two quotes from the animated "Return of The King" movie I used to watch as a kid that I still use:

Nay, Pippin!
Patience, Mary, patience...

There are many, many others. Some obscure, some less so.

[Qwikshot]

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing"

[Butter]

I also have some Simpsons quotes, this one is a personal favorite:

Listen kid, I'm not the kind of dad who does things or says stuff or looks at you. But the love is there!

[Kodos]

I was out for a walk on when I came across a lady who was watering some plants with her back turned to me. I had the urge to kink her hose, and then when she turned around, I would give he the Johnny "Just kidding!"

[Umbrella]

Yeah, this is a funny list. Mine are mostly from movies.

"Lake. Big Lake" when going by a lake.
"This place has everything" whenever my wife mentions a new store in the mall
"Fronch...Bread" when french bread is with dinner. Usually followed by "And to drink...Peru."
Somebody else mentioned it, but I also use "Lighten up Francis" a lot.
It's not real obscure, but "You're killin' me Smalls" is said a lot in my house.

I'm sure there are a hundred others that I use without even realizing it at the time. On a related note, my wife finds me pretty annoying sometimes.

[Bobble]

"You'll get nothing and like it!" any time someone orders food with, "I want a ..."

So many from Fletch:
"It's all ball bearings these days! Maybe you need a refresher course."
"I'll have a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."
"God dawd dawd! Who is it, Mr. Sinlindin?"
"Yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars."

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Bobble

For proper effect, this one should be "schieß dem fenster" and then when they look at you funny, you say "shoot the glass."

Yes, along those lines, my prompt to go to that line is the puzzled look. I think the German is over the top, but if I'm at a bar with a friend and someone gives a puzzled look for some reason... I take a tiny pause, make the euro-sigh, and follow with "shoot. the. glass." And nobody gets it.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Bobble

"You'll get nothing and like it!" any time someone orders food with, "I want a ..."

So many from Fletch:
"It's all ball bearings these days! Maybe you need a refresher course."
"I'll have a steak sandwich and... a steak sandwich, please."
"God dawd dawd! Who is it, Mr. Sinlindin?"
"Yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars."

This is one I like to use

SI

[cartman]

Coffee is for closers

[Draft Dodger]

remembered another one - "it's made of space-age polymers". running line David Letterman used many years ago. always results in blank stares

[Breeze]

I just used one last night that I had forgotten. If you don't follow along in my Swim Like a Champion Dynasty, you may not be aware that my son is ADHD (and I am too, thought I've learned to handle it)...anyway, when he jumps off track in a conversation or when I ask him to do something I'll say...


Squirrel

[BrianD]

I make references to tons of TV shows and movies in normal discussion, but MASH and Mad About You seem to show up a lot. Rather than admitting I am wrong, I will comment that "this is not the most right I have ever been". Whenever my wife walks into something (which is fairly often), I remind her "Sweetie, you know there is no mouse".

Lots of Star Wars references too, but I assume that is the norm around here.

[Draft Dodger]

oh, and a couple of old commercials I quote far too often

"it slices, it dices and it fits in the palm of your hand"
"you got it, Pontiac"
"can I kick the tires? does it have a motor?"

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

oh, and a couple of old commercials I quote far too often

"it slices, it dices and it fits in the palm of your hand"
"you got it, Pontiac"
"can I kick the tires? does it have a motor?"

I have that problem with some old commercials too.

For example, I still sometimes answer the phone with: "Makalakaveesay?"

(I am pretty sure that's not what the guy says, but that's what it sounds like.)

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

I have that problem with some old commercials too.

For example, I still sometimes answer the phone with: "Makalakaveesay?"

(I am pretty sure that's not what the guy says, but that's what it sounds like.)

yep, I do Maka Laka Pizza as well.