04-22-2009, 04:33 PM | #51 | ||
College Prospect
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Tempe, AZ
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And to add on to my previous comment, you mean to tell me not one baby has resulted from the epic "Ping Drunk Guy" thread......
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04-22-2009, 04:34 PM | #52 | |
lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: sans pants
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Quote:
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Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com |
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04-22-2009, 04:36 PM | #53 |
High School Varsity
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado
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By keeping my wife pregnant I prevented Pumpy from knocking her up. Married in 2005, child 1 in 2006, child 2 in 2007, child 3 in 2008. Take that Pumpy!
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BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle. - QuikSand |
04-22-2009, 04:37 PM | #54 | |
High School JV
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
Getting back to the point, do you seriously think that just because someone is physically able to procreate, it's their duty? Do you not see how many messed up parents there are? |
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04-22-2009, 04:39 PM | #55 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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There is no way that having a kid just because it's what everyone else is doing is much easier than not having them at all.
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04-22-2009, 04:40 PM | #56 | |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Quote:
I think we're talking about the decision to have kids. If it's what you're "supposed" to do, it might be the easier decision to make, regardless of the work that goes into it afterwards. Last edited by molson : 04-22-2009 at 04:40 PM. |
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04-22-2009, 04:42 PM | #57 | |
High School JV
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
Yeah, I just said "it may ultimately be more work." Try reading an entire sentence before making your quips. Last edited by lurker : 04-22-2009 at 04:42 PM. |
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04-22-2009, 04:43 PM | #58 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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I don't see one way being easier than the other, then.
When you say you're "supposed" to have kids, who determines that "supposed" to? Is that family pressure? Society? |
04-22-2009, 04:48 PM | #59 | |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Quote:
Ya, I think both, all that. There was a similar back and forth here the last time this came up here. The question was whether deciding to have kids was selfish, and the response was about how hard parents work, after the fact of that decision. Is is selfless or selfish to create life out of thin air to take care of? The kid didn't need to be taken care of before you created it. And is selfless or selfish to choose not to have kids? I mean you're focussing on yourself, but you're not exactly neglecting anyone else (and you may have more time to make the world better in other ways, and you may have more money to donate charitably). You also might think that you wouldn't be a good parent, or don't have the appropriate financial stablity. That seems like the opposite of selfish. Last edited by molson : 04-22-2009 at 04:50 PM. |
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04-22-2009, 04:48 PM | #60 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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04-22-2009, 04:50 PM | #61 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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I never felt like there was any sort of pressure to have kids. I've never felt like it was something I was supposed to do. It was always something I wanted to do.
I have never thought less of folks who didn't want to have them either. |
04-22-2009, 04:52 PM | #62 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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Quote:
That seems strange. What was it that made it feel wrong? |
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04-22-2009, 04:52 PM | #63 | |
lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: sans pants
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Quote:
If you think you are going to be a shitty parent, by all means, do not have kids. Just don't try and pawn it off as some noble or strong choice because you will come off as a self-absorbed idiot. Anyway, I have no idea what the purpose of this thread was, but if you wanted to come off as a condescending, over-analytical shrew you completely succeeded.
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Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com |
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04-22-2009, 04:56 PM | #64 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Quote:
Cock sucker. |
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04-22-2009, 04:57 PM | #65 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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04-22-2009, 04:58 PM | #66 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Quote:
I like the Tequilla defense. Even though they are not my biological children, I spoil my step daughters and treat them as if they were my own flesh and blood. Their dad is around, but, in a very 'hands off' way, even though he only lives about 15 minutes away from us, which just absolutely perplexes me. He's got a daughter who is an awesome musician and artist, never shows up to her performances. His youngest daughter is a damn good softball player and never shows up to any of her games. Heck, I flew out to St. Louis one year with her so she could join her team for the Nationals, he didn't even offer to take her or help pay, yet, he had time to take his new wife and new kids to England to visit family. What's my point? I'm just trying to be a positive male role model for them and hopefully they can tell the difference between a good man vs someone who treats them like crap when all is said and done. Ok, now that I re-read my post, I'm not even sure if I'm on topic and am just ranting...
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I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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04-22-2009, 05:00 PM | #67 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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I was responding to the statement that suggested that the easy way out was just to go with the flow and have kids. That's wrong-headed on a LOT of levels. I suppose that thought process may have led to someone having children just to appease one's parents or spouse, but it is the absolute worst way to approach the decision. There is nothing easy about having a child and to suggest that "the easy way out" is having a child and the "tough thing to do" is to decide not to have one is really off-base, IMO. |
04-22-2009, 05:00 PM | #68 | ||
High School JV
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
You obviously didn't, since you put in the smug parental line of getting back to you after having kids -- I acknowledged it'd be more work after the fact. Quote:
Actually, I think I'll be a great parent, but I do think it's a strong choice to not produce more unthinking idiots out there. And I think pretty much everyone is in agreement on that. And if over-analytical is supposed to be an insult, I can't imagine how little you use your mind. The purpose of this thread was pretty well laid out in the initial post. Feel free not to contribute if it enrages you so much. Last edited by lurker : 04-22-2009 at 05:01 PM. |
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04-22-2009, 05:02 PM | #69 | |
High School JV
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
I shouldn't have used the word "may" in there. But I do think too many people don't think about how much work it'll be and if they did, they might not do it. |
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04-22-2009, 05:04 PM | #70 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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Quote:
Yeah, I guess it was Subby that used the phrase 'easy way out' first, so the question was really for both of you. What is it that you're getting 'out of' by not having kids, anyway? When you put it that way, it sounds like you're saying that the reason for having kids is because you're expected to (i.e. it's that expectation that you're trying to take the 'easy way out' of), but I could be reading you guys wrong. |
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04-22-2009, 05:06 PM | #71 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Green Bay, WI
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Quote:
Even speaking as one who currently has no plans for children, I have to ask - would an unthinking idiot be capable of rationalizing the need for fewer unthinking idiots via reproduction? Further, is it possible for an individual to weigh those pros and cons, say "having kids is the right thing," and still be an unthinking idiot? |
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04-22-2009, 05:06 PM | #72 | |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Quote:
Not to speak for anyone else, but I think that point was just directed towards the claim that not having kids is the "easy way out", when many times, that's not an easy decision. That idea also bizarely implies a duty to have kids if one is able, which is just an awful idea. I'd probably like to have kids if I was rich and didn't have to work, but I feel so overwhelmed by life as it is that I don't feel I'd ever be able to devote the proper energy to parenting. Yes, it would be way harder to to have kids so in that sense I'm "taking the easy way out", but I resent the reference that that makes someone self-absorbed, and in denial of his duty. Last edited by molson : 04-22-2009 at 05:10 PM. |
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04-22-2009, 05:11 PM | #73 | |
Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Quote:
And yeah, I kept checking in on her every few months, and she always had another kid in her. Pissed me off!
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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04-22-2009, 05:13 PM | #74 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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Quote:
Yeah, I think my usage of the term (which has been really just in response to quoted posters - mainly lurker, I think) was really ignoring any connotation that that easy way out means that you're shirking a responsibility or anything. In my posts, "easy way out" could really be replaced with the "easy decision" or something like that. Because really, and I can't stress this enough in this thread. LIFE IS MUCH MUCH MUCH EASIER WITHOUT KIDS. Now, I've already said that I wouldn't change anything and I think my kids are the greatest thing in the world, but imagine your life today. Then add about 5000 small tasks to that day that have to get done. They aren't hard - most of them anyway. But they have to be done. That ain't easy. |
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04-22-2009, 05:15 PM | #75 | |
High School JV
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
That's why we don't have kids yet. Which is pretty much how I got to wondering how anyone decides to say "hey, let's get signed up for a couple of decades of massive work." Last edited by lurker : 04-22-2009 at 05:15 PM. |
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04-22-2009, 05:23 PM | #76 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
For me, it just boils down to because I wanted to. There are a lot of things that are a massive amount of work that people sign up to do, but people still do it because they want to. At 25 I wanted nothing to do with kids, at 35 I did. I had no set plan that said I had to have kids or needed kids or pressure. I just wanted kids. Is what it is I guess...
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You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
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04-22-2009, 05:27 PM | #77 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Seattle, WA
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My ex and I debated kids quite a bit. Her son was 7 when we moved in together, a few years before we got married. I quickly realized that I'm too damn selfish of my own time to have any more.
Luckily, Ms.path's son was 16 when we met (22 now). That made things much easier. The fact that we'll be under 50 when he finally graduates from college is a bonus. I think it is almost easier to have kids when you're young and don't know better.
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We have always been at war with Eastasia. |
04-22-2009, 05:53 PM | #78 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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I do not have children yet, but when I do it will be to pass on my vast fortune (which I also do not have yet).
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04-23-2009, 10:23 AM | #79 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
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Quote:
You have no idea and you can't possibly know until you have a kid. Seriously, though, if my almost 3 yo daughter were in a burning house and she was going to die but there was a 1 percent chance that I could save her by running in and probably dying myself, I would run into the house 100 times out of 100. No question. I would not want to live the rest of my life knowing that my daughter could have survived if I had taken action, even if the odds were ridiculously against both of us. I doubt it would be a rational thinking process, anyway. That sense of protectiveness and sacrifice is probably in our hard wiring as humans, as is the need to procreate. |
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04-23-2009, 10:30 AM | #80 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
+1 I find it completely irrational to not want to do this.
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You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
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04-23-2009, 10:43 AM | #81 | ||
Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Muskogee, OK USA
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Condom broke.
Seriously, I was dating my ex when she got pregnant. She had talked about wanting to have a baby even though we were not married. I was not thrilled about the idea. Of course when you don't wear a condom like I was prone to do back then, you tend to have those type of things happened. Now that he's here, I wouldn't trade him for all the wealth in the world. He makes me want to pull what hair I have left at times, but I really like having him around. I took him on a road trip to Corpus Christi during spring break. We had such a great time! We told jokes and listen to music in the car. We swam in the bay when we got there. It reminded me how special the relationship between parents and their children.
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04-23-2009, 10:56 AM | #82 |
High School Varsity
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Western NY
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Why have kids, if it's so much work?
* A small percentage for me was knowing I could parent 100x better than my own parents, and being driven to do so from a fairly young age. * I have a few friends who just idolize their dads, and I've always known that I would make it a high priority to give my kids everything they needed to have very happy, fruitful lives. And I'm not talking in terms of material things. * There's definitely an instinct to see little iterations of myself in the world, molded by my influence. It's great to see them turning into the amazing, talented little people they are. * There is no better way to quell one's inherent need to be silly / goofy / immature / play with toys / etc than with one's children. For about a decade, I would mold ongoing serial bedtime stories that would go on night after night for months on end, all just spontaneously. As somebody who writes as part of my day-to-day job, it's a fun and rewarding way to tap into that part of myself. And the kids loved it. * Every day after work, my nearly 14-year-old son greets me at the door with a hug. I guess you either see the value in that or you don't. * I have occasional visions of being the patriarchal "grandpa" of the family. Huge masses of my children and their children coming to the house for holidays. That is a very appealing thought. * The bond with one's child really is miraculously powerful. Sure, I didn't know that before I had children, but I definitely sensed it would be so. It's an awesome, awesome relationship. * I don't feel I've really had to sacrifice anything to be a parent. If I wanna go to the bar and have a few beers and shoot some pool, every now and then I do it. If I wanna catch a concert and get lit with buddies, every once in a while I do it. I don't feel the need to be out on the party circuit twice a weekend and whenever else. * All that being said, it's kind of sad to me that this seems to be "single = selfish asshole" and "married = smug prick." I'd like to think it's more nuanced than that. I have plenty of friends who [currently] have no desire to have children. There is nothing "wrong" with that. Some people just aren't cut out to be parents. I don't think it's fair to place any value judgment on that. Sorry to ramble . . . . |
04-23-2009, 11:03 AM | #83 |
Torchbearer
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: On Lake Harriet
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We're working on this decision now. Let me give you a few of my reasons for wanting to start a family. Some have been mentioned in this thread.
1. As albion pointed out, I'd be thrilled to experience life through the eyes of a child, and in particular, my child. 2. I want my parents and my wife's parents to have the joy of being a grandparent, in part because I remember the great relationship I had with my grandparents and in part because I know how much it would mean to my parents. 3. I think my wife and I are blessed with a pretty good set of genes, and maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'd like to see what the combination of those produce. 4. I'm a happy person, and some speed bumps aside, I've had a fantastic life. I want to give someone else the joy/experience that is living. 5. There is an old saying (maybe it comes from Rome or Greece), something along the lines of, "I am a soldier, so my son can be a farmer and his son can be a poet." I know that my parents worked hard to give me a life better than what they experienced. I hope I'm still in the early stages of my career, but I've worked hard to be able to do the same. It's exciting to me to think I might be able to provide that sort of opportunity to my child. 6. It's a freaking fantastic time to be alive. There is so much exciting stuff out there from technological advances to the relative ease of travel. Why wouldn't I want someone else to experience that? 7. I've got a lot of love to give. 8. I think I'll be a good parent. That sort of makes it my duty to try to raise a kid who will be a contributing member to the community (be it locally or globally). 9. I'm sick of being a self-absorbed prick. |
04-23-2009, 11:12 AM | #84 |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Fresno, CA
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If I didn't have kids, who would take out the trash and do the dishes?
Plus the tax benefits! It's a no brainer! |
04-23-2009, 11:13 AM | #85 |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Fresno, CA
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In all seriousness, for us it was a no-brainer. I couldn't have envisioned the path of my life without it including being a parent. I'm a goofball. I have a lot of goofyness to give.
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04-23-2009, 11:22 AM | #86 | |
High School Varsity
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Boston, Ma
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04-23-2009, 11:59 AM | #87 |
College Prospect
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: An Oregonian deep in the heart of Texas.
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Another reason I haven’t seen mentioned is the fear of growing old without someone to take care of you. For my wife and I this was certainly part of the equation, though by no means a deciding factor. It was probably more prevalent in our thinking because of her job, she worked as a speech pathologist in a retirement home, but I would bet that it at least subconsciously factors in to a lot of peoples decision.
So, I guess that’s one more tick for the selfish-parents column. |
04-23-2009, 12:14 PM | #88 | ||
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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Quote:
So, at first I thought you were joking, or at least semi-joking, but now I'm not so sure.... Quote:
AMEN. Even worse are the people who say "You know, our marriage isn't going well, but if we have kids, it'll all be better." NO IT WILL NOT. Can't believe I forgot about this. How can one forget his/her bouncing little tax deduction? |
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04-23-2009, 12:20 PM | #89 | |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Fresno, CA
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Quote:
No doubt! My daughter was born New Years Eve, 2004. That fact alone was some nice savings. Half for diapers, half for Daddy. That's a fair deal. |
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04-23-2009, 12:32 PM | #90 |
Bonafide Seminole Fan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Miami
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Subby, I think you're wrong. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids, it's lifestyle(for lack of a better word) some people don't want. I mean if its wrong to not want children then is it wrong to be single?
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Subby's favorite woman hater. |
04-23-2009, 12:37 PM | #91 |
Stadium Announcer
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Burke, VA
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I have a very good friend who, along with his wife, have decided that they are not interested in having kids. It's a shame, because they're both very bright, creative, generous, and kind individuals. The world needs more of them, frankly, but they're not interested in reproducing. On some level, I do think it's selfish, but what are you going to do? We're still allowed to be selfish.
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I don't want the world. I just want your half. |
04-23-2009, 12:41 PM | #92 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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04-23-2009, 01:06 PM | #93 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest
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[somewhat sarcastic]
I commend all you parents, you have taken your civil duty of expanding the herd in your own hands. You deserve awards! Honestly you deserve all your tax breaks! My wife and I are just a selfish couple that have so far decided we don't want kids and for that we should be flogged for we are detrimental to society! [/sarcasm] |
04-23-2009, 01:08 PM | #94 | |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Fresno, CA
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Quote:
Great, we're on the same page! Let the flogging begin! |
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04-23-2009, 01:12 PM | #95 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest
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Quote:
If it's wrong to not have children, then I guess our society should just start killing those of us that can't have children. Since they can't contribute to adding more to the herd. |
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04-23-2009, 01:35 PM | #96 |
Mascot
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: South
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I think its funny that a few people have mentioned that they were ambivalent and their wife pushed having kids. My wife definetly pushed having kids, but I didn't even think about having kids until I met her. All my friends seem to be in the same boat now (30s, 1 kid under 2) and a lot of them were pretty freaked out originally. When I found out it was going to be a boy, that made it a lot easier for me. I would have no problems having girls, but to have a boy first was comforting. I was the last person (that we know of) to carry on the family name so now that I have a boy, the name lives on. I kept saying that I had no idea how to be a father, but immediately after he was born, it kicked in and actually was easier then I expected. Now that he is 18 months and approaching the terrible 2s, it is a lot more work. He is so active and is constantly on the go, but I wouldn't trade fatherhood for anything. I lost my father when I was 7 so I can't wait for him to experience everything with me that I wasn't able to with my father.
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04-23-2009, 02:12 PM | #97 |
lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: sans pants
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I actually think it's a pretty good idea that you have decided not to have kids.
__________________
Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com |
04-23-2009, 02:20 PM | #98 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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I'd be more in favor of killing those who *shouldn't* have had kids (and presumably their offspring) but I think that we might well below 0 population growth.
SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
04-23-2009, 02:21 PM | #99 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest
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Quote:
That's great, I'm glad I don't care what you think. |
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04-23-2009, 02:21 PM | #100 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest
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Quote:
+1 |
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