The Mental Health Thread

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

To complete this circle.

I started the thread.

I'm currently drinking vodka (not Tito's....but)

Therefore, people who need a mental health check in should probably consider Vodka.

Probably J&B scotch for me. Cheers.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Never knew this was a thing, but apparently it's a fairly big thing for people trying to guess.

Their Vodka has actually beaten Grey Goose in blind taste tests & does come from the same region as GG. The actual distiller has never been confirmed


Costco's Kirkland Brand Alcohol: Who Makes the Kirkland Brand Spirits? - Thrillist

My wife worked for Procter and Gamble and sold to Costco for several years. It is how we ended up in Seattle and me going to U of Washington. You would be surprised who makes the various Kirkland brand and how people pay more for the same product because of the label.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Edward64

Probably J&B scotch for me. Cheers.

I almost tacked on a bottle of Johnny Black to my order

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

My wife worked for Procter and Gamble and sold to Costco for several years. It is how we ended up in Seattle and me going to U of Washington. You would be surprised who makes the various Kirkland brand and how people pay more for the same product because of the label.

The liquor specifics would probably surprise me but the concept of "same product, different packaging, different pricing" is one I learned very well. Worked on some contact lens marketing for a major player some years ago, saw that deal in considerable detail.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

The liquor specifics would probably surprise me but the concept of "same product, different packaging, different pricing" is one I learned very well. Worked on some contact lens marketing for a major player some years ago, saw that deal in considerable detail.

There also is slightly different product, different packaging, and different pricing like you see in wines.

Also, there is same product, different packaging, different pricing, and different quality control.

[NobodyHere]

To tell ya the truth I've been practicing "social distancing" pretty much my entire adult life, much more than is considered healthy.

I'm still going to work until the governor or supply chains shut us down. If that closes down though I am concerned about my mental well being. To be vague, my brain starts going down dark paths if I don't have human contact.

[JPhillips]

If you haven't watched Every Brilliant Thing on HBO, you should. It's only an hour, but it does a great job of portraying what I think is a very male approach to dealing with anxiety and depression. I've been performing it some, in fact I lost two performances to the virus now.

It's funny and touching, and I really identify with the story of the narrator.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

Also, there is same product, different packaging, different pricing, and different quality control.

Welcome to a sizable chunk of the contact lens business

[molson]

My mood and sense of well-being is tied a lot to how productive I feel I'm being. This was a rough week for being productive in all the ways people here described. It's been hard even to catchup on TV.

So I'm working on my normal way to push through it, making lists, and trying to work through them. We put a fence up in the yard today against these thick trees that separate us from the neighbors on one side. My Border Collie/Akita mix has lived here 4 years and never tried to get through those trees, but our new Husky/German Shepherd foster has found vulnerabilities. It was nice to get that done. I'm going to sit outside by the firepit and have a few beers and stare at that fence.

My girlfriend is still completely unaffected by all this, which I guess is better than the alternative. She goes to work every day, comes home, never really gets too high or low regardless of what's going on. The only thing that sucks for her is that I'm always here now (we're a couple who enjoys our staggered days off and time to ourselves).

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by molson

My mood and sense of well-being is tied a lot to how productive I feel I'm being. This was a rough week for being productive in all the ways people here described. It's been hard even to catchup on TV.

So I'm working on my normal way to push through it, making lists, and trying to work through them. We put a fence up in the yard today against these thick trees that separate us from the neighbors on one side. My Border Collie/Akita mix has lived here 4 years and never tried to get through those trees, but our new Husky/German Shepherd foster has found vulnerabilities. It was nice to get that done. I'm going to sit outside by the firepit and have a few beers and stare at that fence.

My girlfriend is still completely unaffected by all this, which I guess is better than the alternative. She goes to work every day, comes home, never really gets too high or low regardless of what's going on. The only thing that sucks for her is that I'm always here now (we're a couple who enjoys our staggered days off and time to ourselves).

Huskies are escape artists, good luck with that.

I hear you on the other point. My wife typically travels 1-2 weeks of the month. I love that she is around, especially because the kids benefit from it. That being said I have grown accustomed to having time to do what I want without her around and thats obviously changed. Granted, a lot of my alone time was spent consuming sports which doesn't matter now.

[MacroGuru]

Yeah, Damn.

I didn't think I would get to the point of being frustrated with all this, just taking things day by day.

My brother had a stroke on Friday. He is a year younger than me. He is in the hospital. My sister in law can't see him. We live through 3 phone updates a day.

This shit sucks.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Yeah, Damn.

I didn't think I would get to the point of being frustrated with all this, just taking things day by day.

My brother had a stroke on Friday. He is a year younger than me. He is in the hospital. My sister in law can't see him. We live through 3 phone updates a day.

This shit sucks.

Christ man, I am so sorry

[thesloppy]

I hope everything works out as best as possible for your brother, Macro!

[Fidatelo]

Ugh sorry to hear that MacroGuru.

[Kodos]

Hang in there Macro, and everyone else who is going through a struggle right now.

[Warhammer]

I'll echo the other comments, hate to hear that, and hang in there.

[ISiddiqui]

So one of my best friends is single and lives alone. He's also prone to boughts of melancholy, though I don't think he had depression but I really don't know. We've both been working from home for 2 weeks. We talk daily. He does Zoom calls with friends, etc. He also goes for walks in the park daily. When it rained for a couple days and he couldn't walk our conversations made me fearful for his mental health. In the last 2 weeks he has said at least 3 times "At least you have your wife", mentioning he hasn't had physical contact (hugs mostly) with anyone in 2+ weeks (not that he's planning on it).

I think the daily walks (being sure to stay 6ft apart) and Zoom calls are keeping him sane, but if this shelter in place goes on for like 2 months, I'm really concerned about my friend's mental health. And I'm concerned about depressed people and those who already have been suicidal. And I don't know what we can do about it.

Sent from my Pixel 4 XL using Tapatalk

[SirFozzie]

You've said what you can do about it.

Be there for other people.

Not to the point where you don't take care of yourself, but for people like your friend and I, isolation sounds like a good thing but all it does is lock you in with your own bad thoughts.

For example, even though I was really tired yesterday (got the Humira shot for the first time in a month due to delays in scheduling, and I'm feeling it with muscle pain and fatigue), I got on the PS4 and played against SackAttack in MLB the Show 20 for a Diamond Dynasty Game.

Look towards board games online or something similar (I believe Asmodee are selling all their games for 50% off). give something that encourages social interaction (or as I put it with SA, "Bants/Trash Talk")

Don't let them collapse inward. I have a facebook friend who posts to my page every so often a positive song (since I've been doing that myself every day)

[rjolley]

Saw this yesterday and thought I'd post it here. It's a different way to look at what you see while you're out: John Calipari on Twitter: "This was sent to me. Don’t know the author but it’s on point.… "

[ISiddiqui]

Be there for other people.

But my point is that being there virtually doesn't seem have the same physiological impact as being there physically, but we can't do the later. So I am concerned for those that virtually being there just isn't enough.

Sent from my Pixel 4 XL using Tapatalk

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

But my point is that being there virtually doesn't seem have the same physiological impact as being there physically, but we can't do the later. So I am concerned for those that virtually being there just isn't enough.

That's sort of the vibe I got from the worrisome Jake The Snake Roberts tweet last night.

For those who missed it

JakeSnakeDDT
@JakeSnakeDDT
·
21h
Getting tough being alone all the time. Hotel room keeps shrinking. Jealous of those with family or partners. Still sober

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by rjolley

Saw this yesterday and thought I'd post it here. It's a different way to look at what you see while you're out: John Calipari on Twitter: "This was sent to me. Don’t know the author but it’s on point.… "

Good sentiment. Similar to Mr. Rogers' suggestion of (paraphrasing) when you see a disaster, notice the people coming to help. I should keep that in mind when I go out for a walk and feel like there are still too many cars on the road and people strolling into the produce store. Notice that it's fewer than it normally would be.

[SirFozzie]

Have to admit, I'm definitely not feeling great (mentally) today.. managed to remember to take my meds, but nothing's grabbing my attention/interest and on the verge of going back to bed,

[Kodos]

It'd be nice if it was actually sunny outside once in a while.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

That's sort of the vibe I got from the worrisome Jake The Snake Roberts tweet last night.

For those who missed it

Wow, I thought he had passed away years ago (not sure why). I remember when the DDT was "the" move. Hope he comes out of this okay.

[Edward64]

Did some yard work this weekend. Zapping those pesky weeds, clovers and rye grass. For whatever reason, made me think of controlling & containing the coronavirus and how more will pop up next weekend.

You know what sucks for me? It's the waiting game. Waiting for things to come back to semi-new-normal and knowing it's probably 4-8 weeks away before we can even think of that happening.

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

That's sort of the vibe I got from the worrisome Jake The Snake Roberts tweet last night.

For those who missed it

I was in full mark mode during the 80s, and Jake was probably my favorite wrestler then. Which means he is probably my favorite of all time. It was the perfect gimmick when I was the perfect age to enjoy it.

When I saw him recently come back sober and start cutting promos, I was so happy.

If this fucking virus brings him back to the dark place . . . Jesus.

This all sucks.

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by Edward64

Did some yard work this weekend. Zapping those pesky weeds, clovers and rye grass. For whatever reason, made me think of controlling & containing the coronavirus and how more will pop up next weekend.

You know what sucks for me? It's the waiting game. Waiting for things to come back to semi-new-normal and knowing it's probably 4-8 weeks away before we can even think of that happening.

This is where lots of us are.



So much frustration this morning. Got a call to go to Newark for tonight, last night. Check flights, my options are one direct or go through Chicago. Chicago seemed like the best option, even though it meant leaving home about 5 hours earlier.



This isn't that big of a deal, except that I go to non-qualified status on Wednesday because I haven't had enough landings. But it's even more complicated because I was supposed to go to training and get my landings this week, but the training center has closed for cleaning so that won't happen. But it's even more complicated than that, because I don't have enough recency of experience. I need to have 100 flight hours in 120 days with the new plane. Flights where there's more than one crew, I only get half or 2/3 credit. I'm 18 hours short. That expires on the 9th, but landings class could have gotten me another month extension. But, it's even more complicated, because after this week I'm on vacation until the 14th. If I don't complete it in time I have to have another checkride, and start over from 0 once again.



Now, back to me going to Newark. The only reason I'm going is to cover staffing for the single international flight leaving EWR at 1130, and that's Tel Aviv. Problem is, I wouldn't be legal to do that, because of the whole landings thing. Now there's more they could use me for, but it would be a last minute sort of thrown together thing, in the middle of the night and while possible, it's not likely. On top of that, they have way, way more people than they need, because they are required to have a certain amount based on the total number of people available. I did this 5 times in March already. So I call scheduling back, as I'm heading to the airport, ask if I can just stay home, because they can't use me for the reason I'm going anyway. They say no of course, because they can. I call the office where my supervisor is and talk with them, they agree with me that the whole situation is dumb, but in this case, they are being trumped by highups and I have to follow through. I'm worried about being exposed any more than I need to when there's very little back in my favor here, nor am I really needed. I end up calling in sick. It's bullshit.


Don't even get me started on our spring break vacation, which has been planned for a year, and none of us can get sick before we go. The owner is refusing refunds. Use it or lose it.


The school district cancelled spring break so they could let the kids our earlier. So now they are supposed to do work then too? Which hasn't won any fans in the house.


I lost it on one of my kids because a strong gust pulled the storm door open (he was right there, didn't close it right away; didn't seem to care) and he just lazily went over to get it, as it's slamming back, instead of rushing. Ugh. Wife looks at me like I've lost my mind.



Chronic stress is a insidious foe. Little by little, it takes away your reasoning, and joy. Add in the loss of family, no outlet for grief, or to visit the cousins, and I've had enough. enough. enough. enough.

[MIJB#19]

Just had a 90-minute group video chat with my brother, both sisters and my parents. We see each other every week actually, but this modern communication stuff makes it somewhat easier to get through these social distancing times. We kicked off with everybody cooking in their respective kitchens, then all eating together, then some small talk, how's working at home, family gossip including first couple of COVID-19 scares in the family (hospitalized, no test results yet), annual family reunion (my mother's) in May called off (for the first time since it began in 1976), then back to small talk and eventually each going their own way. I didn't talk much, just seeing us altogether (even through this) was good enough. If you get the chance, do it, because you never know.

[Vince, Pt. II]

It's been a wild ride here the last few weeks. The Bay Area has been shut down for nearly two weeks now. I'm lucky enough to be able to continue to work, and do so from home, but it's really hard to lead a team from home. Especially when I have to ask them to enter peoples' houses to turn on their water heater or gas stove. Essential work, but terrifying in the midst of the pandemic. We had an employee in our own workgroup tested for Coronavirus on the 17th; we only got the results on Friday, and thankfully he was negative. He's back at work today and super happy to be there. The 10+ days while we were waiting to see what his test results were going to be were brutal for all of our mental states, however.

Meanwhile, my wife Jenn is 32 weeks pregnant as of yesterday, and we have no idea what it's going to be like when we finally have to go in to have the baby. We've been deemed high risk since the very beginning, and have been doing weekly growth scans to make sure the baby is still getting the nutrients it needs since about week 24 - so far so good on that front. I can't go in with her to the appointments anymore, so I sit in the parking lot and we FaceTime so I can see the ultrasounds. We're hearing rumors that Labor & Delivery departments are having to fight to keep the support person in the room during delivery, so I have to come face-to-face with the possibility that I might not even be able to be in the room when my first child is born. We've got 7 weeks until our scheduled C-Section, but the doctors have told us for over 8 weeks now to expect a pre-term baby based upon the growth restrictions.

My entire immediate family is basically out of work; they all work in the car business, and all variable ops (sales) has effectively stopped. My little sister (clerical) and my dad (General Manager) have been furloughed; they're at home not working, but ostensibly have jobs waiting for them when this thing ends. My little brother (Service Manager) is still working because service is still an essential business...but he relies heavily on commission, and is looking at a 60+% pay cut because of the lack of business. He's got two daughters, one is 10 months and the other just turned 2, and his finances were not super great before this all happened.

My grandfather fell and broke his hip on Thursday; when they brought him in they determined he had pneumonia as well. They were able to fight off the pneumonia enough to perform a successful surgery on the leg Friday morning, but by Friday night he had a heart attack and his organs started failing. He was put on a ventilator, but with a DNR, they decided to stop treatment by Saturday morning, and he passed away shortly after being taken off the ventilator. He's in Arizona, and no one was allowed in to see him as this was happening. Thanks to a wonderful nurse in the ICU, my mom and my aunts and uncles were able to call in and say goodbye, though he was not responsive. My mom is a mess; she was very close with her dad, and although he lived a long, wonderful life, he's had many heart attacks and strokes. We've known for a long while that we were essentially living on borrowed time with him, and that this could happen at any time. For it to happen so suddenly, and without any of us to be able to visit / process / say goodbye, it's been heartbreaking. I want so very badly to go give my mom a hug and be there for her, but she's not young anymore and has several underlying medical conditions, so I have to keep my distance.

I'm...staying as positive as I can. I'm pretty sure that the need to keep managing my team remotely is keeping me moving, and my wife is amazing - but I'm almost certain that I haven't processed even a quarter of all the stuff going on right now, and I'm a little worried for when it all comes home to roost.

[Kodos]

I'm so sorry Vince. What a horrible situation. You and your family have my condolences.

[ISiddiqui]

Sorry Vince. That's terrible .

On the childbirth, my wife is 31 weeks as of tomorrow. I heard Gov. Cuomo basically put an order in saying a support person is allowed in delivery rooms in NY State - so hopefully other states around the country also realize it's really important to have a support person (esp to make decisions when the mother isn't in the right mental frame) - just quarantine them in the room.

[Fidatelo]

Sorry to hear that Vince, my condolences as well.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Thanks, guys.

Imran - first, congrats! Second, I've (semi) jokingly told people they're going to have to fight me to keep me out of the room; I just can't imagine letting my wife go through that alone, let alone my own experience missing out on it.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Originally Posted by MIJB#19

Just had a 90-minute group video chat with my brother, both sisters and my parents. We see each other every week actually, but this modern communication stuff makes it somewhat easier to get through these social distancing times. We kicked off with everybody cooking in their respective kitchens, then all eating together, then some small talk, how's working at home, family gossip including first couple of COVID-19 scares in the family (hospitalized, no test results yet), annual family reunion (my mother's) in May called off (for the first time since it began in 1976), then back to small talk and eventually each going their own way. I didn't talk much, just seeing us altogether (even through this) was good enough. If you get the chance, do it, because you never know.

Glad to hear you're able to connect with the family MIJB! I will also recommend using video chat; my dad set up a Zoom meeting for our extended family yesterday morning, and it was wonderful for my mom to be able to see all the family and chat with everyone.

[thesloppy]

So sorry, Vince.

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by Vince, Pt. II

Glad to hear you're able to connect with the family MIJB! I will also recommend using video chat; my dad set up a Zoom meeting for our extended family yesterday morning, and it was wonderful for my mom to be able to see all the family and chat with everyone.

Just beware that nobody starts posting porn in your zoom meeting.

Ann Ashford's virtual town hall delayed by person posting porn during video chat | Local | omaha.com

Or maybe it would make the meeting more exciting. I don't judge.

[ISiddiqui]

Originally Posted by Vince, Pt. II

Imran - first, congrats! Second, I've (semi) jokingly told people they're going to have to fight me to keep me out of the room; I just can't imagine letting my wife go through that alone, let alone my own experience missing out on it.

From what I understand, the Labor and Delivery people should be more concerned about the mothers who were willing to fight them to have their support person in. One of the reasons Gov. Cuomo made sure hospitals couldn't bad support people is because tons of NYC expectant mothers were going to cross state lines to give birth or do lack second home births. A lot of mothers were like OH HELL NO.

(one benefit we have is that our hospital has a separate Labor & Delivery building with it's own ER door, all the way across the campus from the regular ER)

[PilotMan]

Awful situation Vince. My condolences to your family.

[tarcone]

So sorry,Vince.

[CrimsonFox]

is this the real life
is this just fantasy
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality

[JonInMiddleGA]

Just saying I'm glad this thread exists.

I've had no less than 3 friends (non-FOFC) reach out to me privately in the past few days just to vent for a few minutes, 2 of the 3 have never done anything of that sort with me previously.

All this "togetherness" seems to be escalating tensions in a lot of households. If we assume survivability, then being sane on the backside of all this - whenever that is - seems rather useful.

And when it comes to retaining sanity I'm all for whatever the hell works.

[rjolley]

My condolences to you and your family, Vince. And congrats to you and ISiddiqui on the impending birth of your children.

I'd like to echo what Jon said. I'm grateful to have this thread and this board to keep up with things. I've started to step away from the news and social media to try and stay more upbeat. All of the negative news and sheer stupidity from everywhere is getting to be too much. It's nice to be able to share this time with others and have something a bit normal.

Hopefully, this can be a place for others to escape a bit.

[AlexB]

Hopefully this will put a smile on the faces some of the stressed FOFCers - it works for me

[SirFozzie]

Hey, I'm thinking of all the folks in this thread this morning. Hope everyone is having a good one. Hold on for one more day, k?

hold on _ wilson phillips - YouTube

[tarcone]

On a positive note from a bummer of a note.

Yesterday was my Dads 90th birthday. His children were all going to meet in Florida for his birthday and celebrate with him. Of course that didnt happen.

My sister lives near him in his gated community and had him over for dinner. She set up a Zoom meeting. Had all of his kids, grandkids and greatgrandkids together to wish him a happy birthday. It was great.

Thank goodness for technology in these tough times.

[ISiddiqui]

The friend I was talking about earlier just said in our conversation "we are all going to have a case of Pandemic Affective Disorder by the time this is over." I don't disagree. Another month+ of this is going to be tough. And talking to people on screens is not the same as talking to them physically (even if they are 10 feet away). That will affect the single living by themselves people. I fear that some of those folks will violate social distancing at some point because they feel so isolated and mentally down in the dumps.

Add to that more potential to get on each other's nerves as JIMG referred to. With the inability to go out and get away from it. I don't know how that will resolve itself.

[QuikSand]

Joining the thread. Not in crisis mode yet, but am feeling pressure. Getting out for an aggressive exercise walk later today, trying to do this every day with my 11yo daughter, as a means to change the view, and have something to focus on.

We are fortunate to have plenty of space so our 5-member family are not right on top of one another through this. Still very confining.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

We are fortunate to have plenty of space so our 5-member family are not right on top of one another through this. Still very confining.

We have 3 in the house so we can keep pretty separated. Fortunately we have a finished basement so 1 per floor right now.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Just saying I'm glad this thread exists.

I've had no less than 3 friends (non-FOFC) reach out to me privately in the past few days just to vent for a few minutes, 2 of the 3 have never done anything of that sort with me previously.

All this "togetherness" seems to be escalating tensions in a lot of households. If we assume survivability, then being sane on the backside of all this - whenever that is - seems rather useful.

And when it comes to retaining sanity I'm all for whatever the hell works.

Originally Posted by rjolley

My condolences to you and your family, Vince. And congrats to you and ISiddiqui on the impending birth of your children.

I'd like to echo what Jon said. I'm grateful to have this thread and this board to keep up with things. I've started to step away from the news and social media to try and stay more upbeat. All of the negative news and sheer stupidity from everywhere is getting to be too much. It's nice to be able to share this time with others and have something a bit normal.

Hopefully, this can be a place for others to escape a bit.

I'll third this.

Thanks for the well-wishes all.