Can it get any better!! - Page 3

Cringer · 04-13-2010, 05:16 AM

Huh, now some of the FB posts make sense. I don't come here as much any more so not a big surprise I missed this thread.

From what you have posted, don't take this the wrong way, I am happy for you. It's good for you. Sucks balls on the kid side, but I honestly don't think two parents being in a bad marriage is good for them either. Not a lot you could do either way with that part of it and I feel bad for them. For you though, probably not the worst thing in the world. Hopefully things go ok man.

MacroGuru · 04-13-2010, 10:07 PM

Another brief upate and it will probably be the last one in a bit...

She finally told the boyfriend about his car today and he hit the roof, called the cops to press charges.

I received a call from the Erie County Sheriff I couldn't answer it. I am honestly thinking I might go to jail...however, no one saw me break the window of the car, I told my wife I did it, so it's heresay. The officer went to both neighbors and neither saw anything.

He told my wife I can admit to it, but without witnesses I won't be arrested, they need info for the report..I don't buy that, so I think when I get home next week I will probably be arrested and charged for vandelism.

BUT....the boyfriend left her today...decided he is scared shitless of me and it isn't worth it...i figured the chicken shit had some balls, but he doesn't.

I won't take her back even if she asked me too. It's to much of a pain in the ass to deal with anymore...she is talking about moving back to Utah and I would go back with them, to be with my friends and family...and near to the kids, but that is it.

So anyway next update will be next week when I get home.

Drake · 04-13-2010, 10:14 PM

You should consult a lawyer...preferably before you talk to the police.

Edit: Honestly, in my neck of the woods, the cops likely wouldn't pursue any legal action against you anyway, and if the other guy wanted to make a stink, they'd give him the 'ol "You know how to keep your car from being vandalised? Don't park it in the driveway of the man whose wife you're fucking." If this guy had a sack at all, he'd have known better than to involve the police in the first place. There are natural consequences when you mess with another person's marriage. He should consider this getting off easy. Except he doesn't, because he's a douche.

For what it's worth, the guy who my wife had her affair with had been my best friend for 20 years. That meant he regularly used my PC to do his online banking. When he started screwing my wife, he also started saving all of his online account passwords in the browser on my PC (just like he was using my garage to fix his car, my mower to mow his yard, etc.) I amused myself for quite some time randomly canceling his automatic bill payments and e-mailing explicit pornography to his boss. Last I heard, he was unemployed and his credit was in shambles. His affair with my wife ruined his life for a lot longer than it ruined mine.

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2010, 10:15 PM

What Drake said. Cover Your Ass.

MacroGuru · 04-13-2010, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

You should consult a lawyer...preferably before you talk to the police.

I plan on it.

MrBug708 · 04-13-2010, 10:19 PM

Maybe editing this thread would also help?

JediKooter · 04-13-2010, 10:27 PM

Yup, talk to a lawyer first.

Just tell the cops that when you came home from a work trip, that some strange car was parked in your driveway all busted up. You thought maybe a drunk driver had abandoned their car there and you had it towed.

molson · 04-13-2010, 11:08 PM

Get the lawyer before you talk to anybody, but don't worry about it too much. It's not a big deal. You'll probably have to pay for the damage, if they bother to charge. If you were charged, and I was your attorney, I'd ask for the charge to be dismissed in exchange for restitution for damage, and a no-contact order between you and him.

Your statements to your wife could probably be used against you under exceptions to the hearsay rule, but obviously she'd have to tell the police for that to matter. And some states have spousal immunity, where a spouse can't be called to testify against the other, unless it's a domestic violence situation

I wouldn't lie to the cops though. Either tell them the truth, or say nothing at all (which is your right). Everybody, the cops, the prosecutor, the judge, will be on your side here, unless you start lying to everyone.

And I'm really glad he had kidney cancer. That's the silver lining in all this.

Drake · 04-13-2010, 11:10 PM

Also, check the laws in your state. You may be able to counter with an Alienation of Affection suit in exchange for him letting the car issue go. Some states have AoA laws on the books but rarely enforce them...others are more aggressive.

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2010, 11:10 PM

since it's technically your house still you can probably get a no trespassing order against him, even if you're not going to be there. you said they broke up, but it wouldn't be a bad idea - particularly if you want to keep him away from the kids.

that and a no-contact order with you is always a good thing to have.

DaddyTorgo · 04-13-2010, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

Also, check the laws in your state. You may be able to counter with an Alienation of Affection suit in exchange for him letting the car issue go. Some states have AoA laws on the books but rarely enforce them...others are more aggressive.

good idea

molson · 04-13-2010, 11:19 PM

Oh, and another reason to get an attorney first, and not to lie to the cops, is that the cops have discretion whether to arrest you for this or just cite you. (some state laws may vary). If you don't have a criminal record, and you're upfront about what happened (or just say nothing), you likely wouldn't be arrested for such a minor crime. A lawyer might help arrange that.

Dodgerchick · 04-13-2010, 11:22 PM

lol... he left her cuz he was scared shitless of you? LOL, that's awesome, waht a coward. Sucks he pressed charges though. But what the hell did he expect?That you were gonna keep quiet about all this and let it happen? The piece of shit disrespected you in more ways than one. I can see karma already in the works for him and your soon to be ex. Bastards.. you reap what you sow.

Ksyrup · 04-13-2010, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson

Your statements to your wife could probably be used against you under exceptions to the hearsay rule, but obviously she'd have to tell the police for that to matter. And some states have spousal immunity, where a spouse can't be called to testify against the other, unless it's a domestic violence situation

Exactly what I was going to post. There's a "statements against interest" exception to the hearsay rule, but that could be complicated by a potential immunity provision with the spouse involved. It depends on your state law.

Galaxy · 04-13-2010, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

For what it's worth, the guy who my wife had her affair with had been my best friend for 20 years. That meant he regularly used my PC to do his online banking. When he started screwing my wife, he also started saving all of his online account passwords in the browser on my PC (just like he was using my garage to fix his car, my mower to mow his yard, etc.) I amused myself for quite some time randomly canceling his automatic bill payments and e-mailing explicit pornography to his boss. Last I heard, he was unemployed and his credit was in shambles. His affair with my wife ruined his life for a lot longer than it ruined mine.

Not to take away from the seriousness of this thread and Dennis' situation, but you're a genius!

Galaxy · 04-13-2010, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

Also, check the laws in your state. You may be able to counter with an Alienation of Affection suit in exchange for him letting the car issue go. Some states have AoA laws on the books but rarely enforce them...others are more aggressive.

I don't think New York State has AoA on the books.

Galaxy · 04-14-2010, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Another brief upate and it will probably be the last one in a bit...

She finally told the boyfriend about his car today and he hit the roof, called the cops to press charges.

I received a call from the Erie County Sheriff I couldn't answer it. I am honestly thinking I might go to jail...however, no one saw me break the window of the car, I told my wife I did it, so it's heresay. The officer went to both neighbors and neither saw anything.

He told my wife I can admit to it, but without witnesses I won't be arrested, they need info for the report..I don't buy that, so I think when I get home next week I will probably be arrested and charged for vandelism.

BUT....the boyfriend left her today...decided he is scared shitless of me and it isn't worth it...i figured the chicken shit had some balls, but he doesn't.

I won't take her back even if she asked me too. It's to much of a pain in the ass to deal with anymore...she is talking about moving back to Utah and I would go back with them, to be with my friends and family...and near to the kids, but that is it.

So anyway next update will be next week when I get home.

Sucks to hear that the punk is such a coward. I hope this won't impact your job in terms of being terminated.

Would suck to see you move, but you gotta do what is best for the kids.

RainMaker · 04-14-2010, 12:35 AM

As others have said, don't say a word to the cops without a lawyer. If you get arrested before talking to one, don't say a word. Vandalism is common in our world and a couple of teenagers may have just decided to have some fun one night in your neighborhood.

And vandalism is not a big deal, especially if you have no priors. You'll get a fine and maybe community service if the judge is a dick. The cops and DA have bigger problems to worry about and won't put up much of a fuss. Without a witness, they're left with heresay from an angry ex-wife. A smart lawyer would implicate her as being an angry woman seeking vengeance on a lover who broke off their relationship. Either way, don't fret, you aren't going to jail unless you have some long criminal history we don't know about.

flere-imsaho · 04-14-2010, 09:22 AM

I'll bet the cops are happy all you did was break some windows. Assault, after all, would be a lot more paperwork, and with the added nightmare of the domestic situation.... Let's just say that if I was a cop I'd be more than happy that you blowing off steam only led to some broken windows, and I'd not be well disposed to the other guy.

On another topic, you may want to delete this thread, unless you're absolutely, positively sure it won't end up in court.

SportsDino · 04-14-2010, 10:34 AM

Get a lawyer, remove the thread, worst you'll probably get is some sort of fine and damage repair bill.

The other side of the Drake story, if him or your wife have access to your computer which might get them into your bank, you may want to lock that stuff up. New passwords, lock up the users so only you can get access, etc. You seem to be the one with the money, so protect yourself from theft.... you don't owe her access to anything and you never know what someone will do out of spite.

Kodos · 04-14-2010, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

For what it's worth, the guy who my wife had her affair with had been my best friend for 20 years. That meant he regularly used my PC to do his online banking. When he started screwing my wife, he also started saving all of his online account passwords in the browser on my PC (just like he was using my garage to fix his car, my mower to mow his yard, etc.) I amused myself for quite some time randomly canceling his automatic bill payments and e-mailing explicit pornography to his boss. Last I heard, he was unemployed and his credit was in shambles. His affair with my wife ruined his life for a lot longer than it ruined mine.

You are AWESOME.

Mizzou B-ball fan · 04-14-2010, 11:09 AM

Well, I guess I've missed just a couple of events in this thread.

Best of luck, MG.

MacroGuru · 07-20-2010, 09:43 AM

two months later and I am still out of the house. I haven't filed for divorce yet because legally I can't in New York for one year of separation.

So I figure in the meantime, I will talk with her, be cordial treat her as a friend. Honestly it has had it's ups and downs.

Boyfriend was still in the picture pretty heavily until I caught him at the house one day. I introduced myself and told him all the lies she had been telling him...his perfect little world came crashing down. So he is in and out of the picture intermittently.

Today is also my anniversary, 14 years. It's supposed to be a happy day, I'm depressed as all get out...I think she wants me to be happy for today and I just can't, no I do not WANT to be happy today....there isn't anything to celebrate about today...as I look at it, we are only married in word anymore. I have received a hug and a kiss from here maybe a couple of times since February, so the spark isn't even there right now.

For those who do not know RendeR and Telle have been letting me crash at their place (As if I am rarely home) and they have an upstairs apartment opening up that I will be moving in to.

This past month I have been completely gone. I spent 1 week of it working, 2 weeks in Utah playing (I stayed with the in-laws, which was fun, honestly) and then I spent a week in the Upper Peninsula with my brother. I took this time as a serious reflection of me, my life, where I want to be.

I have been attending counseling, she has been attending hers. But I can't get her to do couples counseling, so to me she doesn't want to fix for real yet.

So I told her the following. I am moving on with my life, I am still attending my counseling because whether or not we heal and end up back together or I find someone else, this well help me ensure I do not screw up anywhere else in my relationships. I also figure since you are dating, I might as well start dating again. I do not see any sense in locking myself up constantly when I am home, so I will be going out, seeing people and enjoying myself.

Funny thing is, her tuned changed pretty quickly, and whats good for obviously isn't good for me....I haven't seen a more selfish person in a long time.......

Sorry for the rambling, just needed to do it as I sit here not being to happy about today.

Kodos · 07-20-2010, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

So I told her the following. I am moving on with my life, I am still attending my counseling because whether or not we heal and end up back together or I find someone else, this well help me ensure I do not screw up anywhere else in my relationships. I also figure since you are dating, I might as well start dating again. I do not see any sense in locking myself up constantly when I am home, so I will be going out, seeing people and enjoying myself.

Funny thing is, her tuned changed pretty quickly, and whats good for obviously isn't good for me....I haven't seen a more selfish person in a long time.......

That's always great when they want to date around, but somehow you aren't supposed to date others. In college, I had dated a girl seriously for a year (and was totally in love with her) when she started whining that we should date other people because she wasn't ready for a serious relationship (I had been her rebound guy off of another relationship). So for a while we were supposedly free to date others. Finally I got pissed off about the status of things and picked up a girl in a bar (only time I ever successfully did that). As soon as she found out I had kissed this other girl, it was welcome to Dumpsville for me. Turns out the date others option was really only for her.

This same girl had the nerve to act jealous later when I started flirting with a mutual friend in a bar. Bitch. You gave up your right to be jealous when you dumped me.

Hang in there. I know your situation must be torture. Please continue to blow off steam at FOFC. Hopefully that can help some.

DaddyTorgo · 07-20-2010, 10:32 AM

Keep up your strength MacroGuru. You should definitely do stuff today to take your mind off of it. Either get blasted all day and pass out, or else keep yourself busy/stimulated (go to a couple movies or a video arcade or somewhere where there's so much noise/bustle that you can't think).

Poli · 07-20-2010, 10:43 AM

You know what I will tell you and you know how to reach me if you need me to tell you. I'm here for you buddy.

spleen1015 · 07-20-2010, 11:37 AM

Good luck with everything man. This would be a worst nightmare scenario for me. I wish you all of the luck in the world. Take care of your kids.

JonInMiddleGA · 07-20-2010, 11:49 AM

One foot in front of the other if necessary, just keep moving like you have been.
Awful situation, wish I could offer something more useful.

JediKooter · 07-20-2010, 12:23 PM

She's still trying to have her cake and eat it too?

Rizon · 07-20-2010, 06:18 PM

Typical behavior. Seen it a million times.
Reminds me of that Love the Way you Lie Eminem song.

stevew · 07-20-2010, 06:56 PM

man. Sorry to hear. America is so fucked it seems. She cheats on you and ruins the relationship. And you get to send 15k cash a year in support for the kids. It is either pay or go to jail.

Flasch186 · 07-20-2010, 08:57 PM

Hang in there bud.

terpkristin · 07-20-2010, 09:52 PM

Big pile of suck, I hope your day went alright, all things considered (and that you didn't spend it completely blotto).

Wish I had words of wisdom or anything, but it sounds to me like you're doing the right things. Hang in there.

/tk

MacroGuru · 07-21-2010, 12:14 AM

Thanks for the kind words of support it helps out...I have set myself to my room pretty much today after I went and tried to have coffee with her.

It finally ended with me saying that until she chooses to do couples counseling there really isn't an us, and if she wants me in the picture I need to be the on fiddle she worries about.

I was honest and told her if things keep going like they are, this is it, 14...because honestly I don't see a 15 out there...

Her attitude was in the shit house today, just like it was on sunday, my 10 year old's birthday to the point I don't want anything to do with her.

Anyway after the coffee, I came home and downloaded Pro Bass Fishing 2003 and I have been having some fun there...I haven't lost myself in alcohol yet. When I do, I will want it to be at a pub, so I can cause a ruckus!

So thanks for the thoughts and prayers, they are needed and they keep me going.

BYU 14 · 07-21-2010, 12:35 AM

Stay strong buddy and you did the right thing by putting forth an ultimatum. It is unfortuante that she has taken advantage of your maturity and character through this by keeping you in limbo.

I wish you happiness and know that in the end however it works out will be best for you. I give you much respect for the way you have handled yourself through all this.

Galaxy · 07-21-2010, 01:22 AM

As BYU 14 said, stay strong buddy and as tough as it is, I think you're handling this as well as anyone could, especially with the kids in the picture. You're an outstanding guy who deserves nothing but kindness, respect, and love. Since I know you personally, I will say this, she will be losing a lot more than she is gaining in any shape or form. Not just in the present, but in the long run.

If you need anything at all or just need to talk, you know how to reach me.

MacroGuru · 08-21-2010, 08:23 AM

A brief update and it's not a negative one.

I am officially moving into my new apartment this weekend. The kids are as if not more excited than I am. We are going shopping today for some furniture (I need a couple of end tables, a lamp, a coffee table...Kitchen stuff, bookshelf.

We will hit the yard sales and remaindered stores and see if I can get some stuff for cheap.

As for the personal life....I set up a profile on Match just to see whats out there...I did an impromptu meeting with one on Thurs...not at all what fits me...

Last night (Friday) I had another date. It was probably one of the best nights I have had in years. The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth. It was a hit for both of us and we are excited to go out with each other again.

Mizzou B-ball fan · 08-21-2010, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Last night, was probably one of the best nights I have had in years. The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth. It was a hit for both of us and we are excited to go out with each other again.

Hope it works out. Sounds like a good start.

cougarfreak · 08-21-2010, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

A brief update and it's not a negative one.

I am officially moving into my new apartment this weekend. The kids are as if not more excited than I am. We are going shopping today for some furniture (I need a couple of end tables, a lamp, a coffee table...Kitchen stuff, bookshelf.

We will hit the yard sales and remaindered stores and see if I can get some stuff for cheap.

As for the personal life....I set up a profile on Match just to see whats out there...I did an impromptu meeting with one...not at all what fits me...

Last night, was probably one of the best nights I have had in years. The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth. It was a hit for both of us and we are excited to go out with each other again.

Awesome for you. I've missed this thread until now, hope for the best man. I went through a divorce 12 years ago, and it ended up being the best thing for me. I found a woman out there I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Passacaglia · 08-21-2010, 08:43 AM

Rock on!

BYU 14 · 08-21-2010, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

As for the personal life....I set up a profile on Match just to see whats out there...I did an impromptu meeting with one...not at all what fits me...

Last night, was probably one of the best nights I have had in years. The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth. It was a hit for both of us and we are excited to go out with each other again.

Awesome, I met my wife on match after tiring of the "usual" scene in 2002. She was the only one that really got my attention and I joined just to contact her. Eight years later and I couldn't be happier.......To this day the best $29.95 I ever spent!

sterlingice · 08-21-2010, 12:33 PM

Good deal

SI

RomaGoth · 08-21-2010, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

A brief update and it's not a negative one.

I am officially moving into my new apartment this weekend. The kids are as if not more excited than I am. We are going shopping today for some furniture (I need a couple of end tables, a lamp, a coffee table...Kitchen stuff, bookshelf.

We will hit the yard sales and remaindered stores and see if I can get some stuff for cheap.

As for the personal life....I set up a profile on Match just to see whats out there...I did an impromptu meeting with one...not at all what fits me...

Last night, was probably one of the best nights I have had in years. The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth. It was a hit for both of us and we are excited to go out with each other again.

Glad to see things are looking up for you. Going through a divorce sucks, especially if you didn't do anything wrong. Sounds like you are in a much better place than just a few months ago.

RendeR · 08-22-2010, 11:56 PM

Man its going to be nice having a decent tenant for a change

Eaglesfan27 · 08-22-2010, 11:58 PM

Good luck Macro. I can relate to some of what you are going through.

MacroGuru · 08-23-2010, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

Man its going to be nice having a decent tenant for a change

And again...I thank you for this more than anything..

Oh, and the hardest part in all of this...my kids understanding I live in an apartment...They are so use to a home...I am afraid my youngest will jump himself through the floor and land on RendeR at his desk...

RendeR · 08-23-2010, 12:18 AM

If he does yer rent is going to go WAY up.....just sayin =)

LOL

Galaxy · 08-23-2010, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

If he does yer rent is going to go WAY up.....just sayin =)

LOL

Between your boy and Macro's youngest, you're going to need a lot of Red Bull to keep up.

RainMaker · 08-23-2010, 02:11 AM

That's awesome. I know when my Dad got divorced 10 years ago he put up profiles on some of the dating sites and did extremely well. I've been tempted to try it myself.

Ksyrup · 08-23-2010, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

I did an impromptu meeting with one...not at all what fits me...The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth.

04-13-2010, 05:16 AM	#101
Cringer Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Edinburg,TX	Huh, now some of the FB posts make sense. I don't come here as much any more so not a big surprise I missed this thread. From what you have posted, don't take this the wrong way, I am happy for you. It's good for you. Sucks balls on the kid side, but I honestly don't think two parents being in a bad marriage is good for them either. Not a lot you could do either way with that part of it and I feel bad for them. For you though, probably not the worst thing in the world. Hopefully things go ok man. __________________ You Stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and steralized, so you get NOTHING! You lose!

04-13-2010, 10:07 PM	#102
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	Another brief upate and it will probably be the last one in a bit... She finally told the boyfriend about his car today and he hit the roof, called the cops to press charges. I received a call from the Erie County Sheriff I couldn't answer it. I am honestly thinking I might go to jail...however, no one saw me break the window of the car, I told my wife I did it, so it's heresay. The officer went to both neighbors and neither saw anything. He told my wife I can admit to it, but without witnesses I won't be arrested, they need info for the report..I don't buy that, so I think when I get home next week I will probably be arrested and charged for vandelism. BUT....the boyfriend left her today...decided he is scared shitless of me and it isn't worth it...i figured the chicken shit had some balls, but he doesn't. I won't take her back even if she asked me too. It's to much of a pain in the ass to deal with anymore...she is talking about moving back to Utah and I would go back with them, to be with my friends and family...and near to the kids, but that is it. So anyway next update will be next week when I get home. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

04-13-2010, 10:14 PM	#103
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	You should consult a lawyer...preferably before you talk to the police. Edit: Honestly, in my neck of the woods, the cops likely wouldn't pursue any legal action against you anyway, and if the other guy wanted to make a stink, they'd give him the 'ol "You know how to keep your car from being vandalised? Don't park it in the driveway of the man whose wife you're fucking." If this guy had a sack at all, he'd have known better than to involve the police in the first place. There are natural consequences when you mess with another person's marriage. He should consider this getting off easy. Except he doesn't, because he's a douche. For what it's worth, the guy who my wife had her affair with had been my best friend for 20 years. That meant he regularly used my PC to do his online banking. When he started screwing my wife, he also started saving all of his online account passwords in the browser on my PC (just like he was using my garage to fix his car, my mower to mow his yard, etc.) I amused myself for quite some time randomly canceling his automatic bill payments and e-mailing explicit pornography to his boss. Last I heard, he was unemployed and his credit was in shambles. His affair with my wife ruined his life for a lot longer than it ruined mine. Last edited by Drake : 04-13-2010 at 10:20 PM.

04-13-2010, 10:15 PM	#104
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	What Drake said. Cover Your Ass. __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

04-13-2010, 10:27 PM	#107
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Yup, talk to a lawyer first. Just tell the cops that when you came home from a work trip, that some strange car was parked in your driveway all busted up. You thought maybe a drunk driver had abandoned their car there and you had it towed. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

04-13-2010, 10:19 PM	#106
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	Maybe editing this thread would also help?

04-13-2010, 11:08 PM	#108
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	Get the lawyer before you talk to anybody, but don't worry about it too much. It's not a big deal. You'll probably have to pay for the damage, if they bother to charge. If you were charged, and I was your attorney, I'd ask for the charge to be dismissed in exchange for restitution for damage, and a no-contact order between you and him. Your statements to your wife could probably be used against you under exceptions to the hearsay rule, but obviously she'd have to tell the police for that to matter. And some states have spousal immunity, where a spouse can't be called to testify against the other, unless it's a domestic violence situation I wouldn't lie to the cops though. Either tell them the truth, or say nothing at all (which is your right). Everybody, the cops, the prosecutor, the judge, will be on your side here, unless you start lying to everyone. And I'm really glad he had kidney cancer. That's the silver lining in all this. Last edited by molson : 04-13-2010 at 11:14 PM.

04-13-2010, 11:10 PM	#109
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	Also, check the laws in your state. You may be able to counter with an Alienation of Affection suit in exchange for him letting the car issue go. Some states have AoA laws on the books but rarely enforce them...others are more aggressive.

04-13-2010, 11:10 PM	#110
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	since it's technically your house still you can probably get a no trespassing order against him, even if you're not going to be there. you said they broke up, but it wouldn't be a bad idea - particularly if you want to keep him away from the kids. that and a no-contact order with you is always a good thing to have. __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

04-13-2010, 11:19 PM	#112
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	Oh, and another reason to get an attorney first, and not to lie to the cops, is that the cops have discretion whether to arrest you for this or just cite you. (some state laws may vary). If you don't have a criminal record, and you're upfront about what happened (or just say nothing), you likely wouldn't be arrested for such a minor crime. A lawyer might help arrange that. Last edited by molson : 04-13-2010 at 11:20 PM.

04-13-2010, 11:22 PM	#113
Dodgerchick College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Austin, TX	lol... he left her cuz he was scared shitless of you? LOL, that's awesome, waht a coward. Sucks he pressed charges though. But what the hell did he expect?That you were gonna keep quiet about all this and let it happen? The piece of shit disrespected you in more ways than one. I can see karma already in the works for him and your soon to be ex. Bastards.. you reap what you sow. __________________ DON'T ITCH THAT NOSE! A Meditation Dynasty

04-14-2010, 12:35 AM	#118
RainMaker Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chicago, IL	As others have said, don't say a word to the cops without a lawyer. If you get arrested before talking to one, don't say a word. Vandalism is common in our world and a couple of teenagers may have just decided to have some fun one night in your neighborhood. And vandalism is not a big deal, especially if you have no priors. You'll get a fine and maybe community service if the judge is a dick. The cops and DA have bigger problems to worry about and won't put up much of a fuss. Without a witness, they're left with heresay from an angry ex-wife. A smart lawyer would implicate her as being an angry woman seeking vengeance on a lover who broke off their relationship. Either way, don't fret, you aren't going to jail unless you have some long criminal history we don't know about.

04-14-2010, 09:22 AM	#119
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	I'll bet the cops are happy all you did was break some windows. Assault, after all, would be a lot more paperwork, and with the added nightmare of the domestic situation.... Let's just say that if I was a cop I'd be more than happy that you blowing off steam only led to some broken windows, and I'd not be well disposed to the other guy. On another topic, you may want to delete this thread, unless you're absolutely, positively sure it won't end up in court.

04-14-2010, 10:34 AM	#120
SportsDino College Prospect Join Date: Oct 2001	Get a lawyer, remove the thread, worst you'll probably get is some sort of fine and damage repair bill. The other side of the Drake story, if him or your wife have access to your computer which might get them into your bank, you may want to lock that stuff up. New passwords, lock up the users so only you can get access, etc. You seem to be the one with the money, so protect yourself from theft.... you don't owe her access to anything and you never know what someone will do out of spite.

04-14-2010, 11:09 AM	#122
Mizzou B-ball fan General Manager Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Kansas City, MO	Well, I guess I've missed just a couple of events in this thread. Best of luck, MG.

07-20-2010, 09:43 AM	#123
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	two months later and I am still out of the house. I haven't filed for divorce yet because legally I can't in New York for one year of separation. So I figure in the meantime, I will talk with her, be cordial treat her as a friend. Honestly it has had it's ups and downs. Boyfriend was still in the picture pretty heavily until I caught him at the house one day. I introduced myself and told him all the lies she had been telling him...his perfect little world came crashing down. So he is in and out of the picture intermittently. Today is also my anniversary, 14 years. It's supposed to be a happy day, I'm depressed as all get out...I think she wants me to be happy for today and I just can't, no I do not WANT to be happy today....there isn't anything to celebrate about today...as I look at it, we are only married in word anymore. I have received a hug and a kiss from here maybe a couple of times since February, so the spark isn't even there right now. For those who do not know RendeR and Telle have been letting me crash at their place (As if I am rarely home) and they have an upstairs apartment opening up that I will be moving in to. This past month I have been completely gone. I spent 1 week of it working, 2 weeks in Utah playing (I stayed with the in-laws, which was fun, honestly) and then I spent a week in the Upper Peninsula with my brother. I took this time as a serious reflection of me, my life, where I want to be. I have been attending counseling, she has been attending hers. But I can't get her to do couples counseling, so to me she doesn't want to fix for real yet. So I told her the following. I am moving on with my life, I am still attending my counseling because whether or not we heal and end up back together or I find someone else, this well help me ensure I do not screw up anywhere else in my relationships. I also figure since you are dating, I might as well start dating again. I do not see any sense in locking myself up constantly when I am home, so I will be going out, seeing people and enjoying myself. Funny thing is, her tuned changed pretty quickly, and whats good for obviously isn't good for me....I haven't seen a more selfish person in a long time....... Sorry for the rambling, just needed to do it as I sit here not being to happy about today. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

07-20-2010, 10:32 AM	#125
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Keep up your strength MacroGuru. You should definitely do stuff today to take your mind off of it. Either get blasted all day and pass out, or else keep yourself busy/stimulated (go to a couple movies or a video arcade or somewhere where there's so much noise/bustle that you can't think).

07-20-2010, 10:43 AM	#126
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	You know what I will tell you and you know how to reach me if you need me to tell you. I'm here for you buddy. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum.

07-20-2010, 11:37 AM	#127
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	Good luck with everything man. This would be a worst nightmare scenario for me. I wish you all of the luck in the world. Take care of your kids. __________________ Why choose failure when success is an option?

07-20-2010, 11:49 AM	#128
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	One foot in front of the other if necessary, just keep moving like you have been. Awful situation, wish I could offer something more useful. __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

07-20-2010, 12:23 PM	#129
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	She's still trying to have her cake and eat it too? __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

07-20-2010, 06:56 PM	#131
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	man. Sorry to hear. America is so fucked it seems. She cheats on you and ruins the relationship. And you get to send 15k cash a year in support for the kids. It is either pay or go to jail. Last edited by stevew : 07-20-2010 at 06:57 PM.

07-20-2010, 08:57 PM	#132
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	Hang in there bud. __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

07-20-2010, 09:52 PM	#133
terpkristin Grizzled Veteran Join Date: May 2003 Location: Ashburn, VA	Big pile of suck, I hope your day went alright, all things considered (and that you didn't spend it completely blotto). Wish I had words of wisdom or anything, but it sounds to me like you're doing the right things. Hang in there. /tk __________________ GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin

07-21-2010, 12:14 AM	#134
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	Thanks for the kind words of support it helps out...I have set myself to my room pretty much today after I went and tried to have coffee with her. It finally ended with me saying that until she chooses to do couples counseling there really isn't an us, and if she wants me in the picture I need to be the on fiddle she worries about. I was honest and told her if things keep going like they are, this is it, 14...because honestly I don't see a 15 out there... Her attitude was in the shit house today, just like it was on sunday, my 10 year old's birthday to the point I don't want anything to do with her. Anyway after the coffee, I came home and downloaded Pro Bass Fishing 2003 and I have been having some fun there...I haven't lost myself in alcohol yet. When I do, I will want it to be at a pub, so I can cause a ruckus! So thanks for the thoughts and prayers, they are needed and they keep me going. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

07-21-2010, 12:35 AM	#135
BYU 14 Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The scorched Desert	Stay strong buddy and you did the right thing by putting forth an ultimatum. It is unfortuante that she has taken advantage of your maturity and character through this by keeping you in limbo. I wish you happiness and know that in the end however it works out will be best for you. I give you much respect for the way you have handled yourself through all this.

07-21-2010, 01:22 AM	#136
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	As BYU 14 said, stay strong buddy and as tough as it is, I think you're handling this as well as anyone could, especially with the kids in the picture. You're an outstanding guy who deserves nothing but kindness, respect, and love. Since I know you personally, I will say this, she will be losing a lot more than she is gaining in any shape or form. Not just in the present, but in the long run. If you need anything at all or just need to talk, you know how to reach me.

08-21-2010, 08:23 AM	#137
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	A brief update and it's not a negative one. I am officially moving into my new apartment this weekend. The kids are as if not more excited than I am. We are going shopping today for some furniture (I need a couple of end tables, a lamp, a coffee table...Kitchen stuff, bookshelf. We will hit the yard sales and remaindered stores and see if I can get some stuff for cheap. As for the personal life....I set up a profile on Match just to see whats out there...I did an impromptu meeting with one on Thurs...not at all what fits me... Last night (Friday) I had another date. It was probably one of the best nights I have had in years. The woman was extremely intelligent, beautiful and down to earth. It was a hit for both of us and we are excited to go out with each other again. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future" Last edited by MacroGuru : 08-23-2010 at 09:09 AM.

08-21-2010, 08:43 AM	#140
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	Rock on!

08-21-2010, 12:33 PM	#142
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	Good deal SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

08-22-2010, 11:56 PM	#144
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	Man its going to be nice having a decent tenant for a change __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

08-22-2010, 11:58 PM	#145
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	Good luck Macro. I can relate to some of what you are going through. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.

08-23-2010, 12:18 AM	#147
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	If he does yer rent is going to go WAY up.....just sayin =) LOL __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

08-23-2010, 02:11 AM	#149
RainMaker Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chicago, IL	That's awesome. I know when my Dad got divorced 10 years ago he put up profiles on some of the dating sites and did extremely well. I've been tempted to try it myself.

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