The Mental Health Thread

[Edward64]

Remember to take some time off from the news this weekend.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

A question for those who said the graduation ceremonies were not that big of a deal for them. Do you feel that way for all ceremonies?
.

I do not.

I didn't care about high school and dropped out of community college. Was making a lot of money bartending and didn't think much about my future. Realized when I was in my late 20s my lifestyle wasn't sustainable.

at the same time my wife came along. To make a long story short I went back to college when I was 32. First year at U of Cincinnati then finished at U of Washington. The day I graduated college I cried. It was the biggest accomplishment of my life. We were having a kid and I wanted more for him then I was. Had I not finished college I would have been a hypocrite demanding that of him.

[ISiddiqui]

This later half of the week has been tough for us. Easter is the biggest thing we look forward to every year. We belong to a liturgical church (and denomination), so we do Church 4 days in a row for Holy Week (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday - and that's not counting Palm/Passion Sunday). And it's hitting a lot of us hard we don't get to worship and be together. So we had a church friend who started to get really bummed we didn't have our Maundy Thursday feast of friends service, so we decided to video chat her. It was really weighing her down (and she had been fine up to then). Easter Vigil has always been the SuperBowl of our Church year - a 2 hour service where we go all around the church culminating in food and wine around the altar. I'm probably going to be crushed missing it tomorrow night.

It's the right thing to do, but missing in-person Holy Week is really really rough.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[molson]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

This later half of the week has been tough for us. Easter is the biggest thing we look forward to every year. We belong to a liturgical church (and denomination), so we do Church 4 days in a row for Holy Week (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, and Easter Sunday - and that's not counting Palm/Passion Sunday). And it's hitting a lot of us hard we don't get to worship and be together. So we had a church friend who started to get really bummed we didn't have our Maundy Thursday feast of friends service, so we decided to video chat her. It was really weighing her down (and she had been fine up to then). Easter Vigil has always been the SuperBowl of our Church year - a 2 hour service where we go all around the church culminating in food and wine around the altar. I'm probably going to be crushed missing it tomorrow night.

It's the right thing to do, but missing in-person Holy Week is really really rough.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I know about a dozen Lutheran pastors - I've been trying to use this opportunity to see them in action online and send them messages thanking them for carrying on....but I haven't kept us as well as I'd like, it's just not habit for me anymore. But certainly for Easter, I'm making it a priority to connect as much as I can.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

A question for those who said the graduation ceremonies were not that big of a deal for them. Do you feel that way for all ceremonies?

Most, yeah.

I see the same tendency in my son (cause I'm a long way removed from much in the way of ceremonies personally) but his feelings largely seem to mirror mine: it's a lot of hassle & some amount of drudgery for something that's merely been a means to an end. The ceremonies are endured for the benefit / satisfaction of others when, personally, you'd sooner be doing a hundred other things. (if nothing else, you could be sleeping)

I completely understand his take, whereas they are mystifying to my wife.

[illinifan999]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

A question for those who said the graduation ceremonies were not that big of a deal for them. Do you feel that way for all ceremonies?

For me, I don't care. I didn't care about high school graduation or college graduation. Police academy felt like more of an accomplishment, but I could have done without the ceremony. The awards ceremonies for police work for my near death, my second near death The mass shooting. I don't really care.

But. All of these ceremonies were/would be a big deal for my family members. And I'd feel and do feel bad they didn't/don't get to be there for them.

[SirFozzie]

I think at least for high school, it didn't mean as much to me as it meant to my family.

[MizzouRah]

Originally Posted by tarcone

Yeah, missing prom is a bummer for her also.. My Wife told me about a Dad she saw online who laid his daughters dress out and put a note on it inviting her to prom. She dressed up and they danced in their house. She was hinting for me to do that. I didnt go to prom in HS and really think that one is over-hyped. But I may have to do it.

And I dont want to tell you what my wife spent on her dress, because I dont want to think about it myself.

I saw that too or at least one where the dad came down the steps in a suit and his daughter in her prom dress.

We will have to figure out something. The store told my wife, sorry but the dress is yours.

[grdawg]

Well this happened at the worst of times and doesn’t do good for my sanity - our 7 year old fridge/freezer decided to stop working today. Repairman did have on mask which was good, but told me it’s the condenser and now I have to deal with warranty which will take a few days and a lot of food had to be trashed. Cooking as much as we can tonight.

[JPhillips]

Rough day. My mother-in-law passed away around 5 this morning. She survived almost a quarter century with a bone marrow disease that could have killed here at any point in the last two decades. Luckily she was home and with family.

It's harder for everyone because we can't have a traditional funeral. We can't even go to Kentucky because we might get quarantined for two weeks by the state police.

[thesloppy]

Oof. I'm sure that's hard, JP.

[SirFozzie]

Thoughts, JP.

[MizzouRah]

Sorry for your loss JP.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Damn, JP.
Condolences to all those touched by the loss.

[Edward64]

Sorry to hear, best wishes to your family

[miami_fan]

Sorry for your family’s loss 😢
Best wishes to you and your family JP

[GrantDawg]

Sorry for your loss.

[Fidatelo]

Sorry for you loss JP.

[JPhillips]

Thanks, all.

She at least wasn't in pain and they got her out of a nursing home the day before KY locked them down. I can't imagine how hard this would have been if no one was able to see her.

[Kodos]

I’m so sorry for your loss, JP. My condolences to you and your family.

[BYU 14]

Our condolences to your family JP

[tarcone]

Sorry for you loss, JP

[Izulde]

Sorry for your loss, JP.

[Lathum]

Back to school after spring break. I can already tell today is going to be super frustrating for both my kids. We have barely begun the first lesson and my daughter is already rebelling and on the verge of tears.

[ISiddiqui]

Sorry to hear about your loss, JP... especially since we can't really mourn the way we would like in this time.

[PilotMan]

Good mental health update, and it makes me somewhat of a hypocrite.

We've been following guidelines and we've been very careful while out, and minimizing our coming and going. Our spring break trip was coming up, planned and booked for a year. We needed to go. We're leaving one home for another, and no other exposure there except for a couple grocery store runs and gas stations. We could 'exercise' outdoors, and enjoy some time in the sun, together and away.

Legally, we were defying state orders not to leave the state. Legally, where we were going was trying to dissuade people from coming, but it wasn't illegal. The owner had told us to use it or lose it. Which was frustrating, but they weren't giving us our money back. So that was a big impetus. I wasn't about to lose that kind of money.

This was our 6th trip to our favorite destination and it was the final trip for our family of five. Our oldest is gone to college next year and that will be that. We did almost everything that we needed to do (while visiting), and it felt like a reset. Our old beast of a minivan ran flawlessly and she's now coming up on 220k miles. Having all that over is a huge relief.

Next up for me on the work horizon? Not much. The company and union tried to come up with volunteer time off plans, but they fell flat. Almost nobody took them (I was not eligible for any of them), and I think May in Newark will be severely overstaffed. None of that will impact me though. I think I said that I went NQ for landings, and now I've gone Non Qual for recency of experience. So I can't do anything until I go to training again. They closed the training center for cleaning and it was supposed to open yesterday, but they extended that until the end of the month.

So now....I'm not working, and once it does open back up again, I'll be at the back of the line. They will be pushing to get all the guys in who need their legal training first to keep them flying and then the other guys who have already dropped will be last (I'm guessing, I mean that's how I would do it.) I would guess that I have at least a month off now, and my friend thinks it could be June or even July. That's not all bad. My going NQ was not my fault, so I'm still getting paid to basically extend my vacation. I certainly can't complain about that right now.

The next big question after that will be the potential furlough notices that would go out on July 1. There has been some optimism about some flights coming back in mid May, so maybe my the end of June we'll have a better path to predict. But if things continue as they are, there's no question that I need to be planning and stuffing the savings account.

Traveling was an interesting experience. The roads were open in some places and surprisingly busy in others. Overall, as we got further south, traffic picked up. The overall feeling was that where we were was about 2 weeks behind where we'd come from. It's a pretty conservative area, and while some people were trying to take it serious, there was a lot of feeling that this was just generally an unnecessary pain. Coming back home again, traffic kept dropping as we got further north. Kentucky, by far, had the least traffic of anywhere else. It was an interesting experience. One that we were all happy for. It was an escape, if even for a little while.

[tarcone]

On the trip front. My brother got a refund finally from Allegiant. So I called yesterday, was on hold for about an hour. Got through asked for a refund. Said no if they didnt cancel. Told them I was calling the DOT next. Got put on hold, they said they cancelled the return flight and I was getting a refund. That was a huge chunk of change Im happy to get back, extremely happy.

[molson]

Looking forward to my annual solo hiking trip with the dog up to Stanley in late May. I've done that every year since I've had the dog, and 9 years in, he's slowed down just a tiny bit and there's a little more porch river relax time v. hiking time every year - and I never know when it will be the last May he'll be around, or healthy enough to enjoy it. I'm not sure of the status of the handful or restaurants up there, but I'm pretty sure everything else will be do-able.

I'm really itching to get out somewhere sooner, and thinking about the circumstances I can maybe do that in the next few weeks. I have heard that Oregon people are not taking kindly to out-of-state plates and I can understand that, otherwise I'd want to go to the coast. In-state, our plates reveal our county, and I know there's a problem with city folk crowding the rural areas right now and I don't want to be a part of that either. But hopefully there's a sensible itinerary I can put together. Something with some hiking, some solitude, some booze, some reading, some escape.

[Brian Swartz]

I've been doing really well with the direct impacts of this, but indirect ones are starting to rear their head. We've now reached the point where I'm not sure weekly Zoom extended-family get-togethers are even going to be able to productively continue. The, shall we say 'strong opinions' and borderline intolerance from members of the family on opposite sides of the shutdown debate are creating a lot of tension, so something intended for healing and interaction may no longer be able to be that thing. Still quite minor compared to much of what many have described in this thread, but it has caused the bile to rise within me. I want to tell people to start acting like adults, but that would accomplish nothing.

[molson]

I have so much regular social anxiety about these multiple Zoom chats that I have to do these days (with people I didn't even talk to to before the pandemic, but, I do appreciate the efforts of the extroverts to bring people together). The though of people debating virus issues on there is horrifying. Would not participate.

[Brian Swartz]

The thing about it is, it starts from a good place. The goal of it was for us all to share how we're doing, any problems/challenges that we can deal help each other deal with during the crisis, etc. For some in the family, frustration over the restrictions and consequences of such is their biggest concern. For others, it's the other side of it, that people are even questioning the need for the restrictions, and that whole thing. So basically, the meetings can't accomplish their intended purpose without that issue being talked about, because it's what has people frustrated from various angles and not sharing it would defeat the entire purpose of the sharing time in the first place.

[PilotMan]

We are a family of introverts mostly. My middle son likes to get out in the world and be a social butterfly, but he really appreciates his own personal time too, and there's plenty of that to go around. We've all been together at home now for a month and I don't think there's been one argument between anyone. We all have enough space and enjoy each other's company. I'm sure it's a strange experience for others, I can't imagine how hard this would be if we weren't so well functioning.

My oldest still comes and goes from work, but he's the only one getting out. I know I'm missing going to the bar for drinks with my wife, or going out for a nice dinner just the two of us. We're missing a lot of our 'close, personal' time too and that's frustrating.

I am enjoying the break from people in general though. I've discovered that they really, really wear me out. I stand at my back door and watch the birds at my feeders in the back yard and it helps me smile and relax. Early in the day and early evening is the best time, and we've had quite a nice variety. It's been hard to get off my computer at times. I am struggling with getting up to do much needed exercising. I'm trying to get better at photography and taking some classes I've purchased. I've got some drones that need built. I'm getting to talk a lot to my boys and stay connected with them and their future plans.

All in all, the more time I can spend away from thinking about the larger real world and focus more on each day, hour by hour, in my own world, the better I do.

[spleen1015]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

All in all, the more time I can spend away from thinking about the larger real world and focus more on each day, hour by hour, in my own world, the better I do.

This is exactly how I am.

I have to stay away from the news otherwise it gets me down. I'm afraid this is going to last for many more months. Watching the news doesn't help with that fear.

To top it all off, the worse it gets, the worse the decisions made by our perfect and great leader.

[Brian Swartz]

My outlook just got better - I'm going to be able to start being a professional shopper next week. Actually less money than I get for doing nothing, but I can actually do something to contribute right now and potentially a flexible long-term option that will allow me to balance the finances - primary job - side hustle triangle better in the future.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

My outlook just got better - I'm going to be able to start being a professional shopper next week. Actually less money than I get for doing nothing, but I can actually do something to contribute right now and potentially a flexible long-term option that will allow me to balance the finances - primary job - side hustle triangle better in the future.

That's great. The more of these we have the better. Maybe with tips you will make more. I always hook up my delivery of curbside person.

[Brian Swartz]

I expect to make more that way than my old job, but the unemployment rate with the federal add-on from CARES comes out to about $43k a year. I'll do fine and I'm glad to have the opportunity, but it's not going to reach that level. .

[tarcone]

My garage door wouldnt open yesterday. So I called a local business and not a national one. Thought i would support a local business. The dude shows up and the springs are broken. So he tells me its &189 per spring and $99 to fix. I agree.
He fixes the springs with a couple phone calls. Then the door wont close. He makes a phone call. Well, the door is bent, which I could see. So it wont close without manipulation. So the garage door opener wont work.

Well, goddamn, no sit. He charges me an extra $99 saying it was that much per spring and the door would cost $1800 to replace. I said is there anyway to delay the payment and I will have you replace the door and put it on my insurance. He called his supervisor and no we cant do that but we will lower the cost to 1400. WTF.

So i say who do I make the check out to. We dont take checks, just cash or card. I tell him I cant do that. They decide they can take a check. I ask if I should write it out to the company I called, no he says, write out to a different company. WTF? They sent out a subcontractor without telling me and this guy is a lock smith. He replaced the springs bit the door wont close. Well its bent and I have to manipulate it to close. What?

This is all BS. I am piseed that a local company would treat me like this. Now my stress level has increased and Im pissed. I call the company to complain at around 3. No call back. I call again at 4:30. Dude says the managers are off until Friday for holidays (they are Jewish). This guy says tell me Im a solver. So I do. Then he says, I ant do anything. MFer lied.

I just want $99 back and now I want a receipt that says its ot normal wear and tear so I can claim the whole thing on my Home Insurance.

Bunch of asshole MFers.

This is dtress I dont need. had they sent out a dude that repaired garage doors, he would have seen the nest door and I needed a whole new door and mechanics.

Shit I have a lump in my stomach because this is money I dont want to spend. And I feel cheated.

Will I get resolution? Doubtful. But I will make my case.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Garage door situations are among the toughest around here -- by that I mean literally finding anyone who even still touches them -- next to in-ground sprinkler systems.

THAT shit is absurd & insane from the jump.
Garage doors are more like what you describe, about as reasonable or service-oriented as tree cutting services.

This is also about the norm for "local businesses" over the past 20 years. Outside of storefront operations, most here are less reputable than the guys who show up offering to spread mulch-of-dubious-origin/ownership.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

My outlook just got better - I'm going to be able to start being a professional shopper next week. Actually less money than I get for doing nothing, but I can actually do something to contribute right now and potentially a flexible long-term option that will allow me to balance the finances - primary job - side hustle triangle better in the future.

Congrats.

If you find out how to get some bread flour or hand sanitizer let us know

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by tarcone

My garage door wouldnt open yesterday. So I called a local business and not a national one. Thought i would support a local business. The dude shows up and the springs are broken. So he tells me its &189 per spring and $99 to fix. I agree.
He fixes the springs with a couple phone calls. Then the door wont close. He makes a phone call. Well, the door is bent, which I could see. So it wont close without manipulation. So the garage door opener wont work.

Well, goddamn, no sit. He charges me an extra $99 saying it was that much per spring and the door would cost $1800 to replace. I said is there anyway to delay the payment and I will have you replace the door and put it on my insurance. He called his supervisor and no we cant do that but we will lower the cost to 1400. WTF.

So i say who do I make the check out to. We dont take checks, just cash or card. I tell him I cant do that. They decide they can take a check. I ask if I should write it out to the company I called, no he says, write out to a different company. WTF? They sent out a subcontractor without telling me and this guy is a lock smith. He replaced the springs bit the door wont close. Well its bent and I have to manipulate it to close. What?

This is all BS. I am piseed that a local company would treat me like this. Now my stress level has increased and Im pissed. I call the company to complain at around 3. No call back. I call again at 4:30. Dude says the managers are off until Friday for holidays (they are Jewish). This guy says tell me Im a solver. So I do. Then he says, I ant do anything. MFer lied.

I just want $99 back and now I want a receipt that says its ot normal wear and tear so I can claim the whole thing on my Home Insurance.

Bunch of asshole MFers.

This is dtress I dont need. had they sent out a dude that repaired garage doors, he would have seen the nest door and I needed a whole new door and mechanics.

Shit I have a lump in my stomach because this is money I dont want to spend. And I feel cheated.

Will I get resolution? Doubtful. But I will make my case.

Sorry you had to go through that. Like Jon said, garage door repairs are among the worst. As soon you mentioned it, I could only see it going downhill. We had a similar issue with the spring and then it being something else as well. The no checks rule is one that I have learned to ask about upfront. I do not miss the blank stares that would occur between myself and a repairman when I would give them one form of payment and they were not allowed to accept it.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

The no checks rule is one that I have learned to ask about upfront.

Ditto here.

[SirFozzie]

Ok, lockdown fever has really started to get to me.

I'm at the point where I keep having to remind myself that no, you can't go do X just because you are under quarantine for a reason, my doctors are saying "We really need bloodwork to make sure the prescriptions aren't harming you".

I spent most of the entire day just sleeping because A) Nothing grabbed my attention/interest and B) low grade headache due to anxiety/worry. Woke up at 8 PM to this text from the person who takes the trash down for me:


"Hi (Foz) I had a call early this morning. I won't say who. But you can figure it out. I was told (person who lives pretty much right next door down the hallway) has the virus. She only lives a couple of doors from you. Be very careful if you leave walking in the hallway. Wear your mask, watch out what you touch. Not saying this is true. It's just what I was told. Please be careful."

Now, it's quite possible (I haven't seen them, but they're certainly something going on, they had packages waiting outside their door for a week)..

It's beginning to edge myself into what I call "IHTFP"-land "I hate this Fucking place". It feels like jail and russian roulette when I open the gd door.

[thesloppy]

Oh no! Stay as safe and sane as you can, Foz!

[RendeR]

The next 2 weeks are going to sorely test the American psyche. We are not a nation that can be idle easily and we all have to stay as idle as possible to help keep this thing under control.

I worry that things may get ugly in the next few weeks in city areas. Due to the high population densities. And lack of things to "go do".

[SirFozzie]

yeah. That's why I'm not so hard on the folks going to Home Depot and getting stuff. Now's a good time for it.

THe folks driving into the city, causing gridlock and protesting? I want those whiny crybaby spoiled brats to fuck off. And keep fucking off. Like, Yes, I know that you want to do things. Work things. Leisure things. Things that do not involve the same four walls. I'm there. I'm down with that. But because you can't stand to be told "For the good of everyone including your friends and family, we need to calm things down. Think about it, if not for your sake, how about your family?" you want to cause a ruckus? (I saw one protestor going "Our first amendment right is being curtailed. Thank god we have the second amendment")

Fuck off right into a volcano.

(Trust me, the above is the light version. I saw reports of the one in Michigan actively stopping an ambulance from getting into a hospital)

https://www.wilx.com/content/news/Op...569659601.html

[RendeR]

Thats fucking ridiculous, talk about the epitome of self absorbed. "its hurting me and mine, its got to stop!!"

I have a right to run my business and endanger everyone.

fuck those assholes.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

My outlook just got better - I'm going to be able to start being a professional shopper next week. Actually less money than I get for doing nothing, but I can actually do something to contribute right now and potentially a flexible long-term option that will allow me to balance the finances - primary job - side hustle triangle better in the future.

Instacart? Make sure you’re super picky with that. Land mines abound.

[JonInMiddleGA]

And what I saw in Michigan the very first thing that's given me any reason for hope since the beginning of the panic junkie pandamonium. A few million like them, maybe there'll be something left to salvage after all.

{shrug}

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by stevew

Instacart? Make sure you’re super picky with that. Land mines abound.

Our Instacart experience have been pretty unique, compared to other delivery services, etc.

Every locale is going to have its own characteristics I'm sure, but here it's like completely different demographics than other drivers (are I'cart shoppers even the same category?) , but also even a different vibe. Almost like they're kind of enjoying themselves.

What I don't know is whether that was true prior to the current situation or if this is kind of a new thing.

[stevew]

It takes like 1 minute to shop and check out each item approx. so like 30 items prob takes about 1/2 hour under normal conditions. Now you got lines galore and stupid rules everywhere. Sometimes more time on different stores. Then you have bulk items and heavy items. Like 50 item orders sometimes only pay out like 13$ or less after tip. Those are all hard passes. Ideally if I even mess with IC it’s like 2 bags of dog food from pet smart and I’m fine with making $10 or so for that. I know people who kill it on that but it’s area specific. Also fun stuff like taking cases of water to the 3rd floor. I do all the gig stuff and best advice is literally only do the things you super win on and don’t bog down on time eating chores. Set up literally in the richest area near you and never leave. It’s all about tips.

I was planning on getting a job this summer cause hourly had been tanking over last two years. Now I’m kinda fucked cause rides was still good enough to maybe pull a thousand dollar weekend. Food, et al maybe maxes out at like low 20$s/hr and I gotta deal with people and variables and drive thru lines. Haven’t done a ride in like a month now. Weird feelings