The Mental Health Thread

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by AlexB

Sorry to hear that PM.

Is the furlough scheme in the US similar to here, in that you are guaranteed a percentage of salary up, to a maximum level?

No, there is no protection here. Basically, I will keep my place in line at the airline, and if say, the date of furlough is Oct 1, which I expect it will be, then on that date I will no longer be employed by them, and I'll be just like the other 33 million people waiting in line at unemployment, losing my family health insurance, life insurance, etc. Some furloughs can last months, some years. There's no guarantee you'll come back, but everyone who has ever been furloughed in aviation has always had a chance at some point. There might be other opportunities along the way that change things, but that is the reality that I know at this point in time.

[AlexB]

Ouch, that’s rough. Try to stay positive, and maybe follow the example of one of your nemeses in Brian Swartz and look for outside the box opportunities?

[Brian Swartz]

I have to say in all fairness it's a lot easier for me. I'm not supporting a family and before the pandemic I made less than 20% above minimum wage. I wasn't an airplane pilot, to put it mildly.

Definitely encouraging alternative solutions for anyone who can find them, but on my side I've informed my former employer that I won't be coming back. For me it's ending up a straight upgrade in career. For others … that won't be so easy to come by.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I can't really vent this anywhere else safely, so you're stuck with it:

Being adopted led to me "inheriting" an awful lot of relatives that are dumb as @#$^#% fenceposts.

Under the current stress load, that makes social media like walking through a minefield ... especially given that I'm regularly in the mood to just throw rocks at any mines I see.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I can't really vent this anywhere else safely, so you're stuck with it:

Being adopted led to me "inheriting" an awful lot of relatives that are dumb as @#$^#% fenceposts.

Under the current stress load, that makes social media like walking through a minefield ... especially given that I'm regularly in the mood to just throw rocks at any mines I see.

*pat pats*

Yeah that's tough.

I have kept myself from posting on walls of dumb piece of shit posts from FB friends.

In the end I just post things I believe and like on my own wall and not woory about what other people think about that. If they wanna unfriend me they are welcome to.

I've unfriended some just because they never talk to me and when I DO see their posts it makes me unhappy. There is no point in adding stress/unhappiness in my life when there is already plenty

[JonInMiddleGA]

Putting this in mental health thread (pulling from my personal FB) cause, by God, this was easily one of the best mental health boosts I've had in quite a while.

Nothing but high marks from me for Texas Roadhouse on their first day returning to seated customers.

Amazing job from start to finish, as close to a "normal" experience as I imagine is possible. From the people coming up with their procedures to the boots on the ground executing those plans, a standing ovation wouldn't be overdoing it.

Considering what absolute disasters two previous (just takeout) "day ones" had been, this might not be transformative but it sure was good to have a positive experience for a change.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Putting this in mental health thread (pulling from my personal FB) cause, by God, this was easily one of the best mental health boosts I've had in quite a while.



Considering what absolute disasters two previous (just takeout) "day ones" had been, this might not be transformative but it sure was good to have a positive experience for a change.

now if only they could actually make a steak that didn't taste and feel like the bottom of a shoe

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by CrimsonFox

now if only they could actually make a steak that didn't taste and feel like the bottom of a show

They're reasonable solid here, on par with anyone else in the tier below Longhorn/Outback.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

They're reasonable solid here, on par with anyone else in the tier below Longhorn/Outback.

I'm in the midwest which gets all the other states' food rejects...

[ISiddiqui]

Down to 9 rolls of toilet paper, so I decided to go online to see how Amazon was doing. 48 roles of Seventh Generation T.P. for $30. Well that's cheaper than the local Kroger (which apparently did not have an Cottonelle and no substitutes during pickup). And it can be delivered by a week from Wednesday? Sold!

That's way more TP than we'll need, but I guess better to have some in spare.

[Qwikshot]

Here in the Lehigh Valley, I think we've gotten a little lazy.

The warm weather was nice, I did yard work, killed a hornet's nest, and the boys and I enjoyed the hot tub on the deck.

Now the cold is settling in again.

The teens are finishing up freshman semester (I say teens because my daughter and girlfriend have been living with us - fortunately the house is big enough to accommodate).

We are fully stocked and have plenty of TP. The internet hasn't gotten too jumpy with four laptops, and Ipad and tv on (we only have netflex, hulu and amazon prime).

The boys at 8 and 4 are a little friend deprived, but have managed well.

I work 2 to 3 days a week on-site and the rest remote, it's been nice, my commute is 9 miles as it is, so that hasn't been an issue and frankly I want to be seen and heard so if there are cuts I get some credit for being there.

Wife is having a tougher time, and I haven't been great with her with handling it.

In the end, I'm good and hope the rest of the family handles it as best they can.

[Lathum]

Saw someone on my towns facebook page claiming we have to reopen because all the suicides that will happen are going to be worse than the virus. Now I would never ever minimize suicide or anyone struggling with mental health issues, my BIL committed suicide and I helped raise my niece and nephews from the time they were 2. I full well know the effects. That being said we are approaching 70K Covid deaths. There is zero chance we are even close to that many suicides caused by shelter in place.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

There is zero chance we are even close to that many suicides caused by shelter in place.

The fairly long-standing expectation is that for every 1% rise in unemployment, there is a roughly corresponding 1% rise in suicides.

If the restrictions lead to the 20-30 unemployment rate that some predict, that would equate to a five figure increase in suicides alone.

And the associated deaths from unemployment increases - which include a significant increase in heart attack deaths and homicides - is close to 40,000 _per each additional percent of unemployment_. (“Corporate Flight: The Causes and Consequences of Economic Dislocation” by Barry Bluestone, Bennett Harrison and Lawrence Baker")

So yes, the deaths via "cure" are quite likely to dwarf the virus itself.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

The fairly long-standing expectation is that for every 1% rise in unemployment, there is a roughly corresponding 1% rise in suicides.

If the restrictions lead to the 20-30 unemployment rate that some predict, that would equate to a five figure increase in suicides alone.

And the associated deaths from unemployment increases - which include a significant increase in heart attack deaths and homicides - is close to 40,000 _per each additional percent of unemployment_. (“Corporate Flight: The Causes and Consequences of Economic Dislocation” by Barry Bluestone, Bennett Harrison and Lawrence Baker")

So yes, the deaths via "cure" are quite likely to dwarf the virus itself.

and what about the people who suffer mental health issues from losing loved ones they wouldn't have lost had we not reopened? Not to mention the tens of thousands that we will lose from reopening?

I mean, is anyone actively denying reopening won't cost more lives? Most of the arguments I see are we have to accept a certain casualty rate.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I mean, is anyone actively denying reopening won't cost more lives?

Depends upon what sources you find credible I suppose. I'll simply say that, yes, some of us fervently believe that the cost has already exceeded any supposed benefit and that every day's delay is costing even more lives in the long run.

And I think we should probably leave it there in this thread, rather than continue with a derailment that neither of us intended. Do as you will, but on this sub-topic, I'm gonna bail. Nothing personal, I just feel like I've hit my comfort level for playing a part in sending this thread off the rails.

[SirFozzie]

There are days where normal is almost reachable.

This is not one of them.

Just kinda out of it mentally, didn't eat much except a handful of chex mix throughout the day (not physically sick, but no energy etcetera), and my brain decided that it was time for one of those super extra-fun-dreams. With death and destruction on a level that Wes Craven would go "Ok, that's a bit much", to the point of absurdity.

Then the hours afterwards where you're trying to sleep and telling your brain "Don't take me back into that nightmare", and the brain shrugs and says "Well, that's all I had for you. NO SLEEP FOR YOU"

[Kodos]

Hang in there, Fozzie I've found that putting a football game on in the background allows me to distract myself to sleep. Might be worth a try for you.

[PilotMan]

My wife got into the habit of putting Disney movies on. You know them already, you won't watch them. They rarely have loud noises, aren't scary, and provide some sort of comfort. She's gone through Moana, Frozen, Happy Feet, Bedtime Stories, Hercules and the Secret Life of Pets. I love the first Wreck it Ralph. John C Reilly's voice is very soothing to me.

I'm pulling for you Foz. Today's a bad day for me too. I'm smoking a pork shoulder, which is normally one of my favorite things to do, but I can't seem to find anything to put a smile on my face today.

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Hang in there, Fozzie I've found that putting a football game on in the background allows me to distract myself to sleep. Might be worth a try for you.

I've used episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to go to sleep. May I recommend the episode that features a German production of "Hamlet".

[Lathum]

I used to fall asleep to the TV every night. Sportscenter, a late game, whatever. Since this started I haven't once put the TV on when I sleep.

[Kodos]

What happens to me is I wake up, my mind starts working on something, and then I move to the family room and put on a game. It usually works pretty quickly. I try to choose soothing announcers over, say, the current MNF team. Al Michaels/Cris Collinsworth is the best for me.

[Edward64]

When I have difficulty sleeping, I just drink whisky/gin while watching TV or playing the early turns in Civ 6.

[tarcone]

To fall aslepp, I put a comedy special on my ipad. Put one ear phone in and turn on the side I like to sleep.

If I struggle to fall asleep the comedy is a great distraction. And I love comedy.

netflix and Prime have tons of specials. They are an hour long, so you know if you havent slept and its time to walk a bit. But I havent gotten that far very often if ever.

Comedy is the great insomnia helper.

Good luck Foz.

[SirFozzie]

Thanks, doing a bit better now. Of course, this means I start my day at 6:00 Pm but that is somewhat close to normal for me :P

[SirFozzie]

dola:

I used to only be able to sleep if a game was on. It would distract my mind from the process of actually falling asleep.

Over the last few years, I somehow transitioned to needing complete silence/dark around me to fall asleep. The problem is that my mind still wants to run during that time, and when you're fighting off recent/vivid dreams/nightmares it's got a lot of fuel to run on.

To use a nautical example, I need a calm placid sea to fall asleep. What I was dealing with was the after effects of a virtual hurricane (the nightmare) still causing choppy waters)

[AlexB]

I found something similar with the silence, but found that it was more of a familiarity and routine I was after (as an ex-metalhead I also have a bit of tinnitus)

I ended up getting a unit that isn’t an alarm clock, but just mimics the sounds of a fan (bear with me here!) which gives a constant background noise to drown out unexpected outside influences, which ultimately becomes a soothing sound to fall asleep to, and somehow eases the tinnitus too.

Maybe worth a look?

[Lathum]

I have bad tinnitus. Constant ringing. There is a great app called calm that helps a lot. I recommend anyone checking it out.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Edward64

When I have difficulty sleeping, I just drink whisky/gin while watching TV or playing the early turns in Civ 6.

I do this also. I find if I go to sleep when my wife does, between ten and eleven I am fine. If I stay up past her I end up playing online poker and drinking way more until 2AM. Then I feel like hell the next day.

[bhlloy]

Can sympathize with this Foz - had the first serious nightmare and mostly sleepless night I've had in a very long time last weekend, followed up by a semi rough night with smaller episodes the night after. The first night was so bad I ended up with a stress migraine that I couldn't get rid of with any painkiller in the house for most of the next day.

They are usually pretty few and far between for me (like every couple years at most), but this situation clearly hasn't helped. I'm NDA'd for a pretty impactful project at work and even though I'm not remotely stressed about it, that was apparently enough nightmare fuel in the current situation to allow my brain to get to work.

[AlexB]

This is a link to the thing I use just in case of interest to anyone else

Sleep Sound and White Noise Machines - Sound of Sleep

[SirFozzie]

I actually use the sound of my computer (fan) as white noise. But yeah, probably a sleep machine would use less electricity

[JonInMiddleGA]

Well last night was weird. Fell asleep around 1030p, woke up (minus one brief interruption around midnight) at about 830a. That's rare stuff for me.

[Lathum]

I completely lost my shit on my son over a blueberry waffle this morning, so yeah, things going well over here.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I completely lost my shit on my son over a blueberry waffle this morning, so yeah, things going well over here.

It happens. To damned near everybody.

For me it was the cat who tried to trip me three times in a matter of about five minutes Wednesday.

[Kodos]

Cats just love to get under your feet, or right behind you when you're reaching up into a cabinet.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Cats just love to get under your feet, or right behind you when you're reaching up into a cabinet.

Mine does NOT understand that my balance isn't what it used to be, and has been trying to kill me for several years now.

And the feeling of "almostfallingohshitwhewthatwasclose" gets kinda old after a while.

[CrimsonFox]

It's like they were trained by people that run out in front of cars for the insurance money

[ISiddiqui]

Ain't necessarily 'mental health' but in Atlanta, the low temps for tonight and tomorrow is 40F, which is a complete WTF for May 8th.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

Ain't necessarily 'mental health' but in Atlanta, the low temps for tonight and tomorrow is 40F, which is a complete WTF for May 8th.

I saw there may be significant snowfall for parts in NE

[tarcone]

Just got an email from the state organization i am a member of. They are saying that schools may be cancelling PE and Band programs next year.

That means I could be out of a job. Just what i need, more stress in my life.

Is this over yet?

[stevew]

luckily I found some wood pellets for my burner cause it’s supposed to be in the 30s all day

[miami_fan]

Today was a pretty good day. I was part of a group that put on two “graduation” ceremonies for seniors from the local high school. One for our subdivision and one for the subdivision next door. We had a total of 104 kids that took part. They got to don their cap and gowns, walk across a portable stage to the tune of Pomp and Circumstance, received a “diploma” from a member of the school board, and get some professional photos done with their families. Those that attended seemed to enjoy themselves. It was really cool to see the kids cheering for each other as their names were called to walk the stage.

[CrimsonFox]

feeling today

why won't it stop

[Edward64]

Finally successfully got some takeout from a Thai restaurant. It's been 5-6 weeks since we've eaten from an asian restaurant and it was great.

We have tried to order a couple times from asian restaurants before but they were either closed or phone kept on ringing (e.g. probably didn't know/want to setup with GrubHub).

[CrimsonFox]

mmmmmmmmmmmm thai

[CrimsonFox]

Max Power ALWAYS eats Thai food!

[bob]

Just posted in the summer plans thread, but decided to post here as well. Not that we expected otherwise, but Monday and Tuesday brought a deluge of cancellations for summer plans. Again, none of this was unexpected, but I think the rapid fire emails about this cancellation and that cancellation has me down today.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I've seen various & sundry people mention the added stress that social media seems to be causing them, so I'm gonna share a thought fwiw: it's okay to take a day off.

Yesterday turned out to be largely disconnected from the world outside my batcave. With only a couple of exceptions to let friends vent about their own situations, I basically played Stellaris for 12 hours.

And that's okay.

We have to make sure we give ourselves permission to take those breaks (even if I have been dealing today with a literal stranger bitching at me cause I failed to update my weekly spotify playlist in a fashion timely enough to suit him)

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I've seen various & sundry people mention the added stress that social media seems to be causing them, so I'm gonna share a thought fwiw: it's okay to take a day off.

Yesterday turned out to be largely disconnected from the world outside my batcave. With only a couple of exceptions to let friends vent about their own situations, I basically played Stellaris for 12 hours.

And that's okay.

We have to make sure we give ourselves permission to take those breaks (even if I have been dealing today with a literal stranger bitching at me cause I failed to update my weekly spotify playlist in a fashion timely enough to suit him)

Well said and it probably needs to be repeated a bit more often. If it is possible for you to avoid social media, take the opportunity to do so.

[tarcone]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I've seen various & sundry people mention the added stress that social media seems to be causing them, so I'm gonna share a thought fwiw: it's okay to take a day off.

Yesterday turned out to be largely disconnected from the world outside my batcave. With only a couple of exceptions to let friends vent about their own situations, I basically played Stellaris for 12 hours.

And that's okay.

We have to make sure we give ourselves permission to take those breaks (even if I have been dealing today with a literal stranger bitching at me cause I failed to update my weekly spotify playlist in a fashion timely enough to suit him)

I never watch the news or go to web sites about the news or visit the Trump thread or Covid thread here on the weekends. I just shut it out. Dont need it dont want it.