The Mental Health Thread

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

Well said and it probably needs to be repeated a bit more often. If it is possible for you to avoid social media, take the opportunity to do so.

And nobody is saying you have to, which also gets lost in the shuffle whenever someone says some version of what we're saying (not here, but I see that overdone message a lot on, ironically, social media).

Just if you need to do it, or even want to do it, it's okay.

Hell, it's really the same message we probably oughta repeat more often without waiting for any sort of dramatic crisis: self-care is okay. Do what you need to do for yourself.

It's okay to be on whatever platform as much as you want if you need that.
It's okay to be off whatever platform as much as you want if you need that.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I've seen various & sundry people mention the added stress that social media seems to be causing them, so I'm gonna share a thought fwiw: it's okay to take a day off.

Yesterday turned out to be largely disconnected from the world outside my batcave. With only a couple of exceptions to let friends vent about their own situations, I basically played Stellaris for 12 hours.

And that's okay.

We have to make sure we give ourselves permission to take those breaks (even if I have been dealing today with a literal stranger bitching at me cause I failed to update my weekly spotify playlist in a fashion timely enough to suit him)

I fired up Classic WOW and really enjoying it so far. Keeps me from blindly surfing twitter, etc...

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I've seen various & sundry people mention the added stress that social media seems to be causing them, so I'm gonna share a thought fwiw: it's okay to take a day off.

Yesterday turned out to be largely disconnected from the world outside my batcave. With only a couple of exceptions to let friends vent about their own situations, I basically played Stellaris for 12 hours.

And that's okay.

We have to make sure we give ourselves permission to take those breaks (even if I have been dealing today with a literal stranger bitching at me cause I failed to update my weekly spotify playlist in a fashion timely enough to suit him)

I think this is largely why this Im not feeling the burden of this that so many are. This site, a Clemson recruiting message board and an offroad and trail riding forum I founded 15 years ago are the total extent of my social media presence. Ive never had a facebook, myspace, insta,snap whatever account. If it isnt physically interacting with me I dont see it, know about it, or candidly sort of even care about it.

It makes me cold to lots of people, has cost me some friends, but it keeps me (relatively) sane and for the most part happy. I understand the COVID pandemic is a big deal intellectually but it truly has had almost no impact on my life.

It makes me at times feel like Im walking around in a bit of an alternate reality. I think a doctor would probably have a diagnosis of anti-social or something but Im just me.

Originally Posted by miami_fan

Well said and it probably needs to be repeated a bit more often. If it is possible for you to avoid social media, take the opportunity to do so.

1,000,000 x this. And it is 100% Possible for 100% of people. There is no one who can't avoid it.

Its ok if you choose not to avoid it, just recognize and understand that we all can.
Just accepting that choice can be empowering.

[Lathum]

I was starting to feel pretty comfortable, but seeing the absolute mess we are as a nation with regards to opening up and seeing some of Dr. Brights testimony today I can't help but wonder if 8 months from now worrying about toilet paper will be the least of our worries.

[molson]

Severe social media customization can be an answer to if you don't want to go all the way. My Facebook wall is incredibly uplifting and supportive, and has almost no politics or drama. It's really pivotal for me right now to stay connected with friends and family and acquaintances, and love seeing photos of their pets and kids and home improvement projects. And I am just not someone is going to pick up a phone and talk to someone, so I would be pretty isolated right now without those connections. (Also, there's a million things you can follow on facebook that are not people - I follow a ton of groups about dogs, nature, local events and organizations, etc - I guess that's how most people use twitter.)

I've had a pretty traumatic week or so with a dying dog, and being able to share just a little of that experience quickly and easily has helped a lot.

Edit: I was pretty excited to go back to the office last week, and, things have definitely been better since I did, but - I'm pretty much the only one there.

[Qwikshot]

I've avoided facebook.

I have to go into work 2 to 3 days a week. Hasn't been bad. The trouble is when working remotely trying to get things achieved due to availability of others.

Movies, games, and this board help me.

I've started working out (3x a week).

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

Ive never had a facebook, myspace, insta,snap whatever account.

If I did that I'd have virtually no socialization whatsoever.

Outside the two in my house, I literally see people I give the slightest shit to see roughly 10-12 weeks a year (HS football season), and even then you're talking about less than a half dozen people I truly care about. Other than that my next closest "personal" experience is saying hi to the longtime Walmart greeters down the block.

While I've never been a big in-person socializer, that degree of isolation is probably a bit on the unhealthy side.

[ISiddiqui]

I generally think Facebook is a good lifeline to the outer world. You can of course curate your friends list (and you don't have to block folks, just unfollow them for a month or so). Instagram and Snapchat are potentially even better - because generally people are just sharing photos and videos of what they are up to.

I also still enjoy Twitter. Plenty of political stuff (which I enjoy anyways), but that and reddit is how I learn about sports stuff - like the absolutely bat shit silly season that just started in F1.

[Edward64]

With the other thread regarding Peloton, my wife and I were talking about how maybe we should use the stimulus money to buy it.

I had already budgeted a new laptop so now its laptop vs Peloton.

I know I'll use the laptop. I'll use the Peloton initially but no guarantee I'll keep up with it. However, my wife used to cycle a lot (now she runs more) and am pretty sure she'll use it if I don't.

Need that second round of checks !!

[ISiddiqui]

Doesn't Peleton require a subscription? I mean you can bike on it without the classes, but then you spent a lot more money for a dumb bike without it

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

Doesn't Peleton require a subscription? I mean you can bike on it without the classes, but then you spent a lot more money for a dumb bike without it

Yes, I think its about $500 a year to participate in the live stuff. Family can share one bike.

That's the angle, to compete with others. I'm not sure that would work for me but know that would work for my wife. She runs half and full marathons and signs up for the 5K and 10K. She also used to do Tri's (amateur level, not the ironman level).

So after the initial investment, it would come out to be $42 a month.

[ISiddiqui]

How much is initial investment?

And a good relatively future proof laptop is $1000-$1500... and no year fee... I realize I'm probably preaching to the choir on this one.

[bob]

You could always look into these guys:

Free fitness equipment with $39/month membership | ProForm

You commit to 3 years at $39 / month for classes and at the end of three years the equipment is free. No idea how good the equipment or classes are.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

How much is initial investment?

And a good relatively future proof laptop is $1000-$1500... and no year fee... I realize I'm probably preaching to the choir on this one.

Around $2200

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

If I did that I'd have virtually no socialization whatsoever.

Outside the two in my house, I literally see people I give the slightest shit to see roughly 10-12 weeks a year (HS football season), and even then you're talking about less than a half dozen people I truly care about. Other than that my next closest "personal" experience is saying hi to the longtime Walmart greeters down the block.

While I've never been a big in-person socializer, that degree of isolation is probably a bit on the unhealthy side.

I see people, for work, near daily. Yes even during the COVID deal we have not taken one day off. In fact we are busier than ever.

But as far as socializing...Ive got maybe 7 college football games a year and maybe 2 UFC events with my sister.

Add in a Christmas extended family fight, and you have my entire social life covered. But Ive always been happiest by myself. On a free day Ive been known to drive out to the farm and just walk around with no one but the cows, or fish for 8+ hours...with maybe half the time no line in the water.

Im fairly at peace with being relatively "lonely" though it doesnt feel bad

[RainMaker]

Off topic but how are UFC events in person? Slowly started to get into it the past year and was wondering if they're fun in person or just tough to see the action. That show on Saturday Night was awesome.

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Off topic but how are UFC events in person? Slowly started to get into it the past year and was wondering if they're fun in person or just tough to see the action. That show on Saturday Night was awesome.

Sorry that reads wrong, if directed at me, I meant we go to my sisters house or they come to ours to PPV UFC, never been to one in person.

[molson]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Off topic but how are UFC events in person? Slowly started to get into it the past year and was wondering if they're fun in person or just tough to see the action. That show on Saturday Night was awesome.

I've been to one in Vegas, one in Boise (plus a Bellator show in Boise).

You can't follow the fights the same way you can on TV. Obviously where you're sitting is important, but even in the best spots, you're not going to be able to follow everything at the same level of detail. The best view you'll have at the show is watching the big screen. I sat 2nd row for Bellator and was sure that would be a unique viewing experience, but, it was actually very limited where you had to look up and couldn't really see the far side of the cage at all. Best seats are probably front row of upper tier, on the sides of arena closest to cage.

But I still think it's really fun to do at least once in Vegas, and if they happen to come to your town. Especially when the crowd is really behind somebody and/or really hates someone. Then it can just get electric. I was in a sea of Mexican Cain Velasquez fans in Vegas when he murdered Bigfoot Silva at UFC 146, and while I had to watch the show later to get a full accounting of what happened, I'm so glad I experienced that. When someone is going for a finish, you kind of feel the urgency and violence of it better in person, but regular run-of-the mill fights can be tough to follow live. Pre and post fight atmosphere is awesome if show is in a place people can hang out and linger and drink. It's also super-fun in Vegas to place your bets at the sportsbook outside, go in and see the fights, and then collect your winnings (hopefully) on the way out. I'd say definitely worth doing if you haven't gone. (Of course now that I type that I'm depressed that we won't have that crowd energy and in-person excitement again anytime soon.)

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

I think this is largely why this Im not feeling the burden of this that so many are. This site, a Clemson recruiting message board and an offroad and trail riding forum I founded 15 years ago are the total extent of my social media presence. Ive never had a facebook, myspace, insta,snap whatever account. If it isnt physically interacting with me I dont see it, know about it, or candidly sort of even care about it.

It makes me cold to lots of people, has cost me some friends, but it keeps me (relatively) sane and for the most part happy. I understand the COVID pandemic is a big deal intellectually but it truly has had almost no impact on my life.

It makes me at times feel like Im walking around in a bit of an alternate reality. I think a doctor would probably have a diagnosis of anti-social or something but Im just me.





1,000,000 x this. And it is 100% Possible for 100% of people. There is no one who can't avoid it.

Its ok if you choose not to avoid it, just recognize and understand that we all can.
Just accepting that choice can be empowering.

I know too many people who work in non traditional occupations in which social media is a requirement or was a requirement when they were starting their careers and is a big part of their business. I would probably have a business one if I worked under different circumstances.

Socially, I identify as a extroverted introvert.

[albionmoonlight]

Today is not a great day for me.

Just a lot of shit built up and worrying too much about major global and national issues over which I have no control.

So a social media break is in order.

Take care of yourselves. This is hard on everyone.

[tarcone]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

I know too many people who work in non traditional occupations in which social media is a requirement or was a requirement when they were starting their careers and is a big part of their business. I would probably have a business one if I worked under different circumstances.

Socially, I identify as a extroverted introvert.

I think this is becoming the new norm with the saturation of technology in our society. This is how Children will be experiencing life.

[ISiddiqui]

I'm not sure about that. I think the way kids interact now is more extroverted. Even playing video games is now a social thing - Animal Crossing is so huge because people are sharing their islands on Twitter, etc., even though you mostly play the game by yourself

[PilotMan]

I have had the most emotional last few days of ups and downs. It's been all over the place. You know the down with our kitty. The most recent news and speculation on work says better chances about my ability to weather the downturn without losing my job. However, it's still only best guesses. My kids had their last day of school. One graduated. My youngest got to buy his first car, one that he's so excited about. Then the next day we said goodbye to a long time family member. Then the middle son got and started his first job today. My best days are the ones where I try to escape the negativity. Avoid the vast majority of social media and stay in my own little world. The unhealthy part of all that of course, is that my distrust and exhaustion for the general public is palpable. This is especially clear dealing with anyone who lives in my subdivision. It's extreme burnout.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I've lost track of how many naps/sleeps have been interrupted by nightmares lately. At least 2-3 per week.

And everybody in the house has had the same thing happen at least a couple times in the past two weeks.

Thankfully, no recurring themes or crossovers in the dreams so it probably isn't anything out of a movie or something.

[cuervo72]

Oh, if we're on dreams, get a load of this one. (And one you might appreciate, Jon.)

I was with my wife at some type of banquet event, but it was either at a hidden location or perhaps affected by social distancing in some way. Either way, kind of hush-hush. We left and I *think* tried to go back at some point (or maybe this was an unrelated dream the same night, who the hell knows with these things). She got in, but I got stopped at this big gate (think iron gates outside Camden Yards) by a bunch of young women. One particularly tall woman - not like mortal tall, but like 8ft tall - starts talking to me; seems she remembers me from high school (in this dream I was younger than I am now) and she starts with the "oh, I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better, etc. kind of thing."

Now, I still want to get inside, but she wants to continue talking. So she SITS on me, Fuseli The Nightmare style. Nothing sexual (though I was...trying to stroke her bare legs). Just...sat on me.

The woman? (I shit you not) Stacy Keibler.

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I've lost track of how many naps/sleeps have been interrupted by nightmares lately. At least 2-3 per week.

And everybody in the house has had the same thing happen at least a couple times in the past two weeks.

Thankfully, no recurring themes or crossovers in the dreams so it probably isn't anything out of a movie or something.

My middle son told me last fall he had a nightmare where he found out that our cat was dying. He woke up crying. You know how that ended.

[Kodos]

I had one night within the last week where it was nightmare after nightmare.

Also, I don't remember any details, but there was one with a lot of sexual stuff. Like a "why did I have to wake up" sort of dream.

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Oh, if we're on dreams, get a load of this one. (And one you might appreciate, Jon.)

I was with my wife at some type of banquet event, but it was either at a hidden location or perhaps affected by social distancing in some way. Either way, kind of hush-hush. We left and I *think* tried to go back at some point (or maybe this was an unrelated dream the same night, who the hell knows with these things). She got in, but I got stopped at this big gate (think iron gates outside Camden Yards) by a bunch of young women. One particularly tall woman - not like mortal tall, but like 8ft tall - starts talking to me; seems she remembers me from high school (in this dream I was younger than I am now) and she starts with the "oh, I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better, etc. kind of thing."

Now, I still want to get inside, but she wants to continue talking. So she SITS on me, Fuseli The Nightmare style. Nothing sexual (though I was...trying to stroke her bare legs). Just...sat on me.

The woman? (I shit you not) Stacy Keibler.

I want someone to do a Taiwan animation news video on this in the worst, worst way.

[JonInMiddleGA]

But, nah, we ain't all stressed out of our fuckin heads or nothing.

Nope, not us.

[cuervo72]

Oh, my dreams are weird on the regular*. This was just particularly memorable because...8ft Stacy Keibler.


* Probably just a sign that I'm a little askew all of the time.

[cuervo72]

dola - Then again, perhaps I'm like that because I've been semi-reclusive for 20 years. Who's to say?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

because...8ft Stacy Keibler.

Well,if I gotta die someway ...

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Well,if I gotta die someway ...

Like

[Edward64]

I know I dream but I don't remember my dreams.

[Kodos]

I had an interesting dream last night. I was getting accused of killing Mike Pence because he had died from anaphylactic shock after eating something I’d prepared for him. I was like “Nobody told me he was allergic and I’m not a doctor.” Weird.

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

It's always nice to come from work, walk into your kitchen, and then notice there's water dripping from the light fixture.

So the quote is from the random thread.

I talked to my neighbor above me and he says his daughter spilled an entire mop bucket. This relaxed me because I was more afraid of the recent rain or busted pipe caused the water and it would've been a lot of money to fix.

I've been feeling very lonesome recently since because of social distancing and because that's how I've lived my life for the past 20 years. Life has been feeling kind of nihilistic and that's not a good thing.

I've been contemplating knocking on neighbor's doors and seeing they're interested in a weekly/monthly card or board game night.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

I've been feeling very lonesome recently since because of social distancing and because that's how I've lived my life for the past 20 years. Life has been feeling kind of nihilistic and that's not a good thing.

I obviously don't know what's going through your head, everyone has different perspectives etc. so can only offer a "hang in there, don't give up, it will get better".

I've been contemplating knocking on neighbor's doors and seeing they're interested in a weekly/monthly card or board game night.

I've thought about playing D&D with roll20-and-like when I'm retired. There's a game store within 5 miles that sells games, comics and has multiple tables for gaming sessions. They are obviously impacted right now but something to think about as places start to gradually open up.

---------------------------

FWIW, wife and I took a 4 mile hike on a trail. There was a fair number of people walking & trail running. Everyone respecting distances and stepping off to one side as the other group passes, saying "hello" or "morning".

Went to Kroger Sat evening (vs my routine of going in the morning). Just like past mornings where pretty much everything was available (even toilet paper, Kroger branded) except for bread flour and hand santizers.

We are pretty stocked on Kroger food. However we are missing some variety from Indian and Asian grocery stores. Thinking about dropping by next weekend early/late and stock up again. We did talk about dropping by Costco again. Last time my wife went there was a line outside waiting to be let as Costco was limiting no. of shoppers. I am missing their $1.50 hotdog + drink !!!

[thesloppy]

Originally Posted by Edward64

I've thought about playing D&D with roll20-and-like when I'm retired. There's a game store within 5 miles that sells games, comics and has multiple tables for gaming sessions. They are obviously impacted right now but something to think about as places start to gradually open up.

My D&D group is one of the things I'm most missing, thanks to covid.

To echo others, I've always been pretty introverted, and at this point my social life is filled by more and more friends that have drifted out of local range, and turned into long-distance friends, and I'm less likely to 'go out' anyways as I get older, to the point that it seems like the effects of staying-at-home should be no problem, and isn't that far removed from my normal daily life.

....instead it's served as something closer to 'a moment of clarity' (or more likely 'a moment of depression'), realizing that I wish I did have more friends here to hang out with, and I wish I did 'go out' more (in some capacity consistent with being a crusty middle-aged person). I'd like to believe when things return to some level of normalcy I might be motivated to try and make some change in that regard, but that's a lot easier said than done.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

My D&D group is one of the things I'm most missing, thanks to covid.

We have been playing every week (except this weekend). Weirdly enough, we had moved online a week or two before the hammer went down. We use fantasy grounds (it does better a better job tracking than roll20 imo. Once FG Unity is stable, we will move to that). I actually enjoy it even more.

[tarcone]

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

We have been playing every week (except this weekend). Weirdly enough, we had moved online a week or two before the hammer went down. We use fantasy grounds (it does better a better job tracking than roll20 imo. Once FG Unity is stable, we will move to that). I actually enjoy it even more.

Never heard of this.

I went to the site and looked at the user manual, but it is 157 pages long. Way to imposing for me.

Could you give me a quick rundown of how it works?

A few questions; Is there a monthly fee? Is it easy to use? Does the system work as the DM so all can play? How many players does it support? Things like that.

Thanks

[PilotMan]

Hey guys, not sure how many of you are friends with him on fb, but eaglefan has had a rough couple days. His Mom went into the hospital on Saturday and tested positive for Covid, and today she passed. Keep him in your thoughts.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Hey guys, not sure how many of you are friends with him on fb, but eaglefan has had a rough couple days. His Mom went into the hospital on Saturday and tested positive for Covid, and today she passed. Keep him in your thoughts.

Feel horrible for the guy but when I saw the first 6-7 comments were from FOFCers I was proud of our community.No where else like this place in the history of the internet.

Prayers for his family

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Hey guys, not sure how many of you are friends with him on fb, but eaglefan has had a rough couple days. His Mom went into the hospital on Saturday and tested positive for Covid, and today she passed. Keep him in your thoughts.

[spleen1015]

Thoughts with his family.

[thesloppy]

oh that's horrible to hear.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

If I did that I'd have virtually no socialization whatsoever.

Outside the two in my house, I literally see people I give the slightest shit to see roughly 10-12 weeks a year (HS football season), and even then you're talking about less than a half dozen people I truly care about. Other than that my next closest "personal" experience is saying hi to the longtime Walmart greeters down the block.

While I've never been a big in-person socializer, that degree of isolation is probably a bit on the unhealthy side.

Understanding this about Jon and realizing just how much alike we really are in our daily lives kind fucks with my hread.

[Izulde]

I've actually started talking to people more now than I have in probably the last 10-15 years. I used to call my mom every day, but that was about it. Now I call my cousin once a week, the BFF who doesn't hate the phone about once a month, a few other people randomly to see how they're doing.

Hell, just today I was helping an old family friend I rang up figure out how to block spam callers, get his email set up on iPhone, and creating an Apple ID so he can download and play solitaire.

It's weird, but also kind of nice. There's something about that vocal connection text can't bring.

[tarcone]

Prayers to EF and family.

[Lathum]

I am officially over the homeschooling shit today. They just need to pull the plug. There is no way I believe this is healthy for our kids not to mention working parents.

My first grader needs constant attention and maybe takes in one in every five words I say, but when I have to repeat myself she throws a fit and plays the victim. If I am not on her constantly she is up from her seat chasing the cat or dog. She will have a 1 minutes youtube clip to watch and will ask to go up to her room for it. My 4th grader races through his assignments and when I make him go back and add more detail, etc...he gets frustrated and acts like I am punishing him.

[Kodos]

Sorry to hear about EF's mom. That's an awful blow to the family.