How do you want to die?

[flere-imsaho]

Earlier today I passed by the retirement home where my Grandpa spent the last 10 years of his life. He died at age 97 and had a good life, especially as he retired at 55 and only started going downhill at 87, just after his wife died.

Obviously he kept in good physical shape to last that long, but the last 10 years were marked by a gradual loss of mental function. In the end his body did give out, and he died peacefully in his sleep, but I wonder if the last 5 years, especially, were worth it.

So it made me think? Would I rather keep the mind but lose the body, or stay alive as long as possible, even if some of it is in a mental fog?

Edit: Sorry, I meant "mind" in option 1, not "mine.".

[Coffee Warlord]

In bed, stepped on by an elephant while having sex with 2 coeds.

[BillJasper]

I honestly don't know?

[stevew]

Warlord stole my idea.

And I've seen the dying process in homes for 6.5 years now. It's a rough one. Do not want.

[Lathum]

If you aren't of sound mind then you really aren't you anymore. Who would want to put their family through that?

[JPhillips]

I'm going to hold out for Jon killing me over an ebola quarantine.

[Qwikshot]

"Died tragically rescuing his family from the wreckage of a destroyed sinking battleship."

[Kodos]

I'd like to be eaten by a T. rex right before I start to decline.

======

On a serious note, my mother (aged 71) is going through this right now. She has been in decline for over 5 years. At first she had a mild cognitive impairment, then later received a dementia diagnosis. Her personality changed to become much more defiant and difficult. Her body has been failing her, and she has done nothing to help herself on that count. She's gone through a couple bouts with pneumonia. At this point, her quality of life is non-existent. If I were in her shoes, I would want to die immediately. There is nothing to look forward to for her. She will never get better. Worse, the whole situation is dragging my father down. He has some mobility challenges that'd probably be minimized if he lost weight, but he stress-eats constantly. I find myself in the sad position of hoping that my Mom dies quickly so that my Dad can get on with his life and enjoy whatever quality time he has left. Right now, so much of his effort is devoted to taking care of her.

As an aside, my Mom going through this starting in her mid-sixties was an eye opener for me. My grandparents all made it into their 90s and were functional until their final year or two (even the two who smoked). I figured genetics were on my side. Seeing what happened to my mother (along with the death of a friend at the age of 40 from natural causes) is what spurred me to start living a healthier lifestyle.

The short version of this is, put me out to pasture as soon as I start to really slip mentally. I'm in it for quality of time, not quantity.

[molson]

Well a cheery Wednesday morning to you too flere.

[Radii]

My dad declined both physically and mentally, very slowly over a decade after brain cancer. I was here helping to take care of him for the last 5. For me, the mental breakdown was the hard part. For mom who had to deal with the hygiene related parts of someone who couldn't get up on his own and go to the bathroom anymore she might have a different answer.

I'm way more scared of declining mentally than physically, though the idea of both bother me a LOT.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by Radii

I'm way more scared of declining mentally than physically

*slow nod*

[Subby]

I want to live a long straight line and then fall off a cliff in my late 80s (mentally/literally/physically?) - everything I do now is geared toward having about 45 years left on this earth.

[korme]

I want to die a slow, painful death like everybody else

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Radii

I'm way more scared of declining mentally than physically, though the idea of both bother me a LOT.

Until last year, I had 3 grandparents, all in their 90s and still very sharp mentally. You can tell the mental processes are slower but they still all work. They are all in varying states of physical wellness, but, if you've been alive over 90 years, I think it's expected that things start to break down.

Rightly or wrongly, this lends itself towards me living with an eye optimistically towards getting to 100.

SI

[Travis]

Oddly enough, from about the age of 6 on, I always thought I'd die before I hit 50. Not sure why, but if that is to be the case, I hope I go out protecting or saving somebody from something and not some crappy accident. Had a couple of close calls already with car accidents.

Figure if/when I hit 50, then I'm good with sticking around as long as possible and hoping that science/medical advancements help me keep what mental faculties I do have.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by Subby

I want to live a long straight line and then fall off a cliff in my late 80s (mentally/literally/physically?) - everything I do now is geared toward having about 45 years left on this earth.

Ditto, but I'm trying to aim for mid-90s or 100.

[Fidatelo]

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandpa. I don't want to die screaming in terror like his passengers.

~~~~

Serious answer, after witnessing my Grandma go from Alzheimers I would not want that.

My Grandpa died a few years ago and he was very healthy, both physically and mentally, into his 90's. However when he finally failed he spent the last several weeks dying in the hospital with pneumonia and other illnesses, and he was in obvious pain. So that doesn't seem so great either.

I really hope that we have a euthanasia-type law in place by the time I reach either of those points, should I make it that far.

[larrymcg421]

Euthanasia Coaster - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[timmae]

I want to stay around as long as possible... if the mind starts to go then it starts to go. Call me crazy then..

Originally Posted by Kodos

She will never get better. Worse, the whole situation is dragging my father down. He has some mobility challenges that'd probably be minimized if he lost weight, but he stress-eats constantly. I find myself in the sad position of hoping that my Mom dies quickly so that my Dad can get on with his life and enjoy whatever quality time he has left. Right now, so much of his effort is devoted to taking care of her.

Kodos, definitely a rough situation there. It is tough on everyone but if there is a connection between them still (i.e. he hasn't written her off in his mind) then every additional minute together is worth it. I know if my wife's health starts to fail I would give anything, including my own life, for any additional time I could grab with her. Yes, it is not what once was, but what really is. The romantic in me would like to think that the ending of life is worse than anything else.

[digamma]

One day I'll be gone.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by timmae

I want to stay around as long as possible... if the mind starts to go then it starts to go. Call me crazy then..



Kodos, definitely a rough situation there. It is tough on everyone but if there is a connection between them still (i.e. he hasn't written her off in his mind) then every additional minute together is worth it. I know if my wife's health starts to fail I would give anything, including my own life, for any additional time I could grab with her. Yes, it is not what once was, but what really is. The romantic in me would like to think that the ending of life is worse than anything else.

Sadly, a lot of her personality is already gone. She no longer cares about things she used to love. She barely interacts with the world. She just lies on her bed with the shades drawn all the time. Sweets are the only things she still seems to enjoy. She makes no attempt to interact with the others in her Alzheimer's/dementia unit. She often sleeps during visits. Dad will try to do nice things like bring her cat in for a visit, but those things usually blow up in his face.

[BillJasper]

I remember my wife's grandfather when he started to fail, he was 90 and had lost her grandmother earlier in the year. All the man wanted was a Coca-Cola and they kept refusing him. I started bringing in the 8-pack, 8 ounce cans and hiding them in his drawer. The old man was able to get up, get them and open them when he refused to do anything else.

I hope when I'm dying they don't deny me the things I've loved all my life.

[Abe Sargent]

WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high pil`d books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And feel that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

[Fidatelo]

Originally Posted by timmae

I want to stay around as long as possible... if the mind starts to go then it starts to go. Call me crazy then.

Have you witnessed the last years of an Alzheimer patient? It's horrible. They spend a lot of time upset and scared. They go through periods where they don't know where they are, what's going on, who the people are around them, and it's terrifying. Like if you were a little kid lost and confused, except it happens over and over and over and over. They also go through lots of other periods where there is clarity, but the clarity is made horrible because suddenly they realize what is happening to them, which is mentally tormenting. "I'm so sorry for putting you through this son!" etc.

It's one thing to say "yeah living in a home and not remembering things would suck" but it's another to witness the anguish. It's mental torture for months and years.

[Honolulu_Blue]

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty."

[Suicane75]

If I had my druthers it would involve Lynda Carter and some sort of smothering.

[flere-imsaho]

Originally Posted by molson

Well a cheery Wednesday morning to you too flere.

[dzilla77]

"It's better to burn out, than to fade away"

[MrBug708]

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty,"

[PilotMan]

"How don't you want to die," seems like an easier question.

[korme]

Originally Posted by dzilla77

"It's better to burn out, than to fade away"

Only if you're a rockstar.

[OldGiants]

After the rest of you.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by korme

Only if you're a rockstar.

Or an immortal who can only die if they lose their head.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

Or an immortal who can only die if they lose their head.

Probably not him, tho. I heard there can be only one

SI

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Probably not him, tho. I heard there can be only one

SI

I also heard that they weren't really immortals at all, but rather aliens from the planet Zeist. True story.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

I also heard that they weren't really immortals at all, but rather aliens from the planet Zeist. True story.

And something about the ozone layer and... NO, HIGHLANDER 2 NEVER HAPPENED!

SI

[Desnudo]

On a huge pile of money with many beautiful women

[Silver Owl]

3 years ago I would have been on the "don't want to live when the mind is gone" side of things but after being recently diagnosed with a genetic degenerative brain condition and actually facing that scenario it makes that answer a little less certain.

[sterlingice]

Oof. Sorry to hear that

SI