COVID-19 And The Holidays--How's YOUR Family/Extended Family Doing It?

[Ben E Lou]

Saw the beginnings of this in the main thread, and think it's worth its own discussion. I'll post our doings later on. Short version: it's complicated and I'm not comfortable with all of it.

[Ben E Lou]

Posted my general overall take on Twitter yesterday:

I can't be the only one who is just assuming that, if Biden wins, he'll be inaugurated right in the middle of a major spike, right? Meemaw is gonna have ALL her kids and grandkids over for Christmas, college kids at home are going to hang out with friends, etc. https://t.co/ESoziRnNZ2

— Ben Lewis (@benelou) November 2, 2020

[Brian Swartz]

No real changes. We all get together at the traditional home where it's been done for decades, typically a group of about 15 of us. Anyone who's sick won't be there - that's pretty much always been a thing long before COVID. My grandmother is approaching 90 so pandemic or no we wouldn't be exposing to her to any known illnesses regardless. We won't be doing the 'masks except when you are eating' deal but we do observe social distancing.

[albionmoonlight]

My wife's mom and sister and them live up here and are in our bubble. We are going to have a quiet Thanksgiving/Christmas with them.

I haven't quarantined since March just so that I can end up catching coronavirus in an Alabama gas station bathroom while traveling down to NOLA.

[spleen1015]

I'm not sure yet what we are going to do. There are 4 options on the table.

1. Go to my in-laws who went to a casino about 10 days after being confirmed COVID positive. This was always the go to for years, but in recent years my brothers in-law have other things to do it seems.

2. Go see my son in Virginia.

3. Go to some close friends of ours. The wife's brother, who will be there, believes this is all a hoax and goes away tomorrow.

4. Stay home.

I am pushing for option 4. My wife and daughter are leaning option 2.

[Butter]

My nuclear family, plus my mom and maybe my son's girlfriend at home. Versus usually traveling to South Carolina and having some extended family at my MIL's house.

And this has more to do with the election creating a rift in our family than the pandemic, honestly. My wife doesn't even want to be around them right now.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

My wife's mamanem live up here and are in our bubble.

fixed

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

fixed

I was translating for the Yankees here.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

I was translating for the Yankees here.

I totally assumed as much.

[miami_fan]

I am pretty sure we will enact our Mother's day plan for Thanksgiving. Our family along with six other families are going to cook two to three dishes each, provide each family with their own serving of each dish, and then eat with our nuclear families. It worked out pretty well back in May.

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

My wife's mom and sister and them live up here and are in our bubble. We are going to have a quiet Thanksgiving/Christmas with them.

I haven't quarantined since March just so that I can end up catching coronavirus in an Alabama gas station bathroom while traveling down to NOLA.

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

fixed

Correct is right!

[JPhillips]

Staying home for Thanksgiving. Christmas is difficult. My mother isn't doing well, so I can't guarantee there will be another Christmas, but I also don't like the idea of gathering together when she isn't doing well. We probably won't decide for sure until December.

[Lathum]

We usually have a big gathering at my parents, 30-40 family. This year it was supposed to shift to my house as my folks are getting older and we bought a bigger house last year.

Decided no way we are getting that many people together so we decided to have it at my house with just my parents and my wifes parents. We see them anyway so its ok. My wifes only sister lives in England so no worries there. My sister lives close by but if we invite her it adds 6 people, most of whom work and my sister still is going to bars and such. Since my MIL had a heart transplant we cant risk it. I told her and she understood.

[Ksyrup]

My parents are likely driving to our home in KY after a stop in NC to see my brother who is in the process of moving back to NC from RI and won't be able to come to our house. Oh, and an uncle may be driving down from MI. I'm extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing - especially with KY in the middle of a major escalation in cases - but short of one of the attendees getting Covid, there's not a chance in hell I could tell my parents they aren't coming. Even though it's the prudent thing to do.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

but short of one of the attendees getting Covid, there's not a chance in hell I could tell my parents they aren't coming. Even though it's the prudent thing to do.

I think this sentiment, and I am not blaming you as I am doing similar, is why we are going to see a shit show by XMas.

[Ksyrup]

It's already happening in Canada.

[Kodos]

We're just doing Thanksgiving with the people who live in our house. At Christmas, we may orchestrate virus tests to allow us to get together with my wife's family. We'll see.

[Ksyrup]

It's definitely complicated - 70 year old parents who already talk about how few years they have left, live in TX and I've heard nothing but "no problems here, everything is normal" and big Trump supporters... I've avoided any direct political talk with them for several years, but canceling Thanksgiving would be tantamount to me calling up and saying "F you for voting for Trump." It would open a can of worms that would likely last until they were both on their deathbeds. I almost have to risk it for the relationship and my sanity.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

No real changes. We all get together at the traditional home where it's been done for decades, typically a group of about 15 of us. Anyone who's sick won't be there - that's pretty much always been a thing long before COVID. My grandmother is approaching 90 so pandemic or no we wouldn't be exposing to her to any known illnesses regardless. We won't be doing the 'masks except when you are eating' deal but we do observe social distancing.

My advice to all attending: seriously socially distance in the full week before that get-together, not just some light hearted mask wearing in public areas, but take as many precautions as you can. You don't need to have any symptoms to be a risk for your grandmother.

[ISiddiqui]

We're doing Thanksgiving at home by ourselves. We've already told the wife's parents (it also helps that they are Trumpers, and we don't want to commit to going up there in November... not to mention that they seem to not wear masks and ignore social distancing).

Wife's sister's family is coming for a long weekend in early December - but they are very careful, wear masks, etc (even though they live in the same city as wife's parents do).

Haven't decided Christmas.

[MIJB#19]

Parents just had it, theoretically they're immune until New Years Day. Ditto for my brother. Do I buy it? Maybe.
But there's also a pregnant sister and my other sister to think about (and myself). Get together with 10 people looks utopian. I suspect we'll be having dinner at home with Skype on on the 25th or 26th.

[molson]

Just the two of us with some Zoom family cameos, and hopefully some outdoor beers with friends at night, weather permitting.

But it's been like the last few years. I have no family within 3,000 miles and my girlfriend has to work around the holidays, so I stay here and we do our "holiday" trips in mid-December. Doing the holiday travelinlg when it's not the holidays for anyone else is an excellent plan, as it turns out. This year though, no travel. I haven't seen anyone I'm related to in over a year now. (I swapped family travel last year from December to September because we took a vacation overseas in December).

[Lathum]

So we just had these index card looking things arrive here from Amazon, but nicer. Blank. asked wife what they are and she said placecards for Thanksgiving. I told her it is kind of ridiculous since its just my parents and her parents coming. She didn't appreciate that sentiment.

[SirFozzie]

It looks like I'm completely out of holiday family gatherings, what with the immunosupression I'm under, etcetera. My brother is definitely not going to any thanksgiving, christmas, who knows.

[molson]

Originally Posted by Lathum

So we just had these index card looking things arrive here from Amazon, but nicer. Blank. asked wife what they are and she said placecards for Thanksgiving. I told her it is kind of ridiculous since its just my parents and her parents coming. She didn't appreciate that sentiment.

You should fill out the extras with celebrity names and place them around Thanksgiving morning.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by MIJB#19

My advice to all attending: seriously socially distance in the full week before that get-together, not just some light hearted mask wearing in public areas, but take as many precautions as you can. You don't need to have any symptoms to be a risk for your grandmother.

Yes to this. A college friend just lost his dad after his parents attended a get-together of twelve, all family, who thought they were healthy and had done a good job of distancing, They all ended up positive for the virus.

---

We are likely not going anywhere. Wife's parents are getting to the point where they won't make the journey up from FL, her sister's kids are grown so they will probably be going to the older son's house (sister doesn't seem to take the virus very seriously). I think my mom is quite fine with us not venturing up there. As it is I'll be holding my breath when both the kids come home (though our younger was just here and everything seems fine so far).

[Ryche]

Thanksgiving at home, no family, pretty normal for us. Christmas at my inlaws in Minnesota, so 6 of us together. Should be ok, the travel will likely be the biggest worry.

[ISiddiqui]

Originally Posted by molson

You should fill out the extras with celebrity names and place them around Thanksgiving morning.

If you want to really be morbid, put folks who've died of COVID on them .

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by molson

You should fill out the extras with celebrity names and place them around Thanksgiving morning.

a friend of mine said I should put some out for dinner tonight with just me and the kids.

I think what I will do is make a spreadsheet that is titled "thanksgiving guest list" with just our parents and send it to her so she can keep easy track.

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by MIJB #19

My advice to all attending: seriously socially distance in the full week before that get-together, not just some light hearted mask wearing in public areas, but take as many precautions as you can.

I have no idea what light-hearted mask wearing is; seems to me you either are wearing it properly or you might as well not be wearing it at all. But as an update here, we've moved to a smaller amount of people coming and might be canceling altogether. If we do that for Thanksgiving we would definitely do the same for Christmas as matters will be even worse then. I think it's just been a matter of people looking at the situation and it feeling more real as we get closer to the holidays arriving.

[Lathum]

Jersey just mandated no more than 10 people at an indoor gathering. totally unenforceable and I doubt it will change anyones behavior, but at least Murphy can say I told you so.

[AlexB]

Before this 2nd (semi) Lockdown, we had a max gathering of six, including kids, and it has been advised that will be the rule after December 2nd again.

I have a small family group, mum & dad, brother and his wife + 2 kids. Since this rule of six, both I and my mum have had birthdays, and my 86 year dad has refused to break the rule of six (which I understand), so we’ve split celebrations into two

For Christmas, my brother’s father-in-law lives close by the others (I’m the outlier being 100 miles away) so that makes eight.

For that day I think we’ll all get together assuming we’re all well: the police have said they’re not interested in minor transgressions of the rule of six on Christmas Day

[spleen1015]

Originally Posted by spleen1015

I'm not sure yet what we are going to do. There are 4 options on the table.

1. Go to my in-laws who went to a casino about 10 days after being confirmed COVID positive. This was always the go to for years, but in recent years my brothers in-law have other things to do it seems.

2. Go see my son in Virginia.

3. Go to some close friends of ours. The wife's brother, who will be there, believes this is all a hoax and goes away tomorrow.

4. Stay home.

I am pushing for option 4. My wife and daughter are leaning option 2.

Option 4 it is. Everyone has seen the light!

[Vegas Vic]

With the recent exponential spike in COVID infections, our family has made the difficult decision to follow the CDC recommendations and stay in our immediate households for Thanksgiving. Ordinarily, some of our family members travel long distances by car and air, and we feel that the risk to our elderly relatives is too high right now.

So my wife and I will be staying home this year. We look forward to having our normal large gathering next year.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Wife and I are having a real hard time with this. Our "bubble" includes my nuclear family and my mother-in-law, but both my brother and sister have been making extremely questionable decisions lately. Brother and sister-in-law went to a 20+ person non-mask engagement party this past weekend, and my sister did some public indoor dining with a pair of friends who are outside our bubble, have questionable social distancing practices, and one recently flew in from out of town.

My brother and father are both extremely conservative and dismissive of the virus as "not a big deal;" my dad because he's conservative and hates wearing a mask, my brother because he's conservative and has met "several people high up in the medical field" who have told him "not to worry about it." He works in the luxury automotive business and has some incredibly high-line clients.

Our Thanksgiving plans were already extremely relaxed from the typical 20+ person extended family thing, but now we're even leery of the 11-person gathering of just our nuclear family (brother's family of 4, parents and sister, mother-in-law, plus us and out 6 month old) because of these excursions.

Like Ksyrup, a little concerned with the familial repercussions of us potentially pulling out because of the "political statement" it would appear to be. Mom and mother-in-law are fully on board, but brother and dad absolutely are not. Complicating matters, sister lives with parents, so if we isolate from her, we're also isolating from them.

[Lathum]

Maybe it is just how I am wired but if someone has no respect for my concerns and the concern of others well being then fuck em, family or not.

We are doing my parents and wifes parents. That is it. My sister makes questionable decisions so her and her kids/boyfriend aren't invited and I told her as much. fuck her feelings (which she was fine). Better than killing my 90 year old father.

[Edward64]

Originally Posted by Vince, Pt. II

Wife and I are having a real hard time with this. Our "bubble" includes my nuclear family and my mother-in-law, but both my brother and sister have been making extremely questionable decisions lately. Brother and sister-in-law went to a 20+ person non-mask engagement party this past weekend, and my sister did some public indoor dining with a pair of friends who are outside our bubble, have questionable social distancing practices, and one recently flew in from out of town.

My brother and father are both extremely conservative and dismissive of the virus as "not a big deal;" my dad because he's conservative and hates wearing a mask, my brother because he's conservative and has met "several people high up in the medical field" who have told him "not to worry about it." He works in the luxury automotive business and has some incredibly high-line clients.

Our Thanksgiving plans were already extremely relaxed from the typical 20+ person extended family thing, but now we're even leery of the 11-person gathering of just our nuclear family (brother's family of 4, parents and sister, mother-in-law, plus us and out 6 month old) because of these excursions.

Like Ksyrup, a little concerned with the familial repurcussions of us potentially pulling out because of the "political statement" it would appear to be. Mom and mother-in-law are fully on board, but brother and dad absolutely are not. Complicating matters, sister lives with parents, so if we isolate from her, we're also isolating from them.

Knowing some family members are not practicing or have disdain for masks or social distancing, I'd pass.

I don't think you need to make a "political statement" but more like "we understand good people can agree to disagree, and some of you think we are going overboard, but our family has made the tough decision to do X, Y, Z for this holiday season. We would love to do a zoom session with the gathering and you'll be getting our Christmas presents soon" and leave it at that. This way you are not calling them crazy which, of course, will cause them (or anyone really) to get defensive.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Yes to this. A college friend just lost his dad after his parents attended a get-together of twelve, all family, who thought they were healthy and had done a good job of distancing, They all ended up positive for the virus.

---

We are likely not going anywhere. Wife's parents are getting to the point where they won't make the journey up from FL, her sister's kids are grown so they will probably be going to the older son's house (sister doesn't seem to take the virus very seriously). I think my mom is quite fine with us not venturing up there. As it is I'll be holding my breath when both the kids come home (though our younger was just here and everything seems fine so far).

Update: wife's sister now has the virus (work) and is probably not going anywhere for Thanksgiving.

My mom is staying home, not even going to my brother's. She's a little miffed though that her husband's son is going to his grandmother's, who is 80 and is apparently demanding aunts/uncles visit because she doesn't know how many of these are left, and "she's a very formidable woman" so he's too chicken-shit to say "no." Then father and son are going hunting after Thanksgiving.

[Ksyrup]

Well, thanks to Caitlin getting Covid, my parents aren't coming for Thanksgiving. Which, for political reasons, is probably a good thing. We all tested negative last Tuesday, and now Mackenzie has lost her taste/smell, so she's going to get re-tested tomorrow. Wife and I are fine so far. Probably too much to think we all won't eventually get it.

Given how badly cases are spiking here, I'm hopeful we can convince my wife's parents not to come for Christmas. My mom would get pissed if they came for Christmas after my parents pulled out for Thanksgiving. So... plenty of inter-family landmines to try to avoid while also trying to navigate the disease.

[Atocep]

We're not having anyone over for Thanksgiving. I vetoed my wife's friend's family coming over. I don't feel like listening to right wing talking points from people that haven't been political until the election and we're just not risking it with COVID. My wife's brother is set to visit from Texas for Christmas, but it's just him and he's in a situation where he needs some time away from her family.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Still don't have a clue. I think I'm subconsciously hoping that a meteor will hit & I won't even have to think about holidays.
Which, really, is mostly how I feel about 'em in years that aren't 2020.

Hoping against hope to find somewhere suitable for the occasion that's open but I'm not optimistic.

[ISiddiqui]

A friend of mine invited us over to his back deck for Thanksgiving (weather permitting). Considering taking him up on it.

[stevew]

My wife is going to visit her family for thanksgiving with my oldest daughter. My brothers and parents are having thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. We stopped inviting the rest of the family about a decade ago and it's been glorious. I'm sure we'll play christmas by ear.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

I have no idea what light-hearted mask wearing is; seems to me you either are wearing it properly or you might as well not be wearing it at all. But as an update here, we've moved to a smaller amount of people coming and might be canceling altogether. If we do that for Thanksgiving we would definitely do the same for Christmas as matters will be even worse then. I think it's just been a matter of people looking at the situation and it feeling more real as we get closer to the holidays arriving.

I meant the kind of people that once they put a mask on start acting like everything is 'back to normal', like they are immune and can no longer infect you either, completely ignoring the 5 or 6 feet distancing. But I think you understood what my general idea here was.

[SackAttack]

Fiancée and I are staying home for Thanksgiving; her sister was planning to host a family get-together, and I said "yeah, Wisconsin's already fucked as it is, I don't think it's worth the risk" to which my fiancée reluctantly agreed.

Then her sister got hospitalized for COVID and the reluctance dissipated.

The question now is Christmas and I...just don't see it. But I'm not picking that fight right now because her uncle is dying of pancreatic cancer or summat, and there's an extended family get-together planned for January because "this is probably his last one and we don't even know if he'll make it that far."

And, well.

2020!

[tarcone]

We are staying home and avoiding all. In laws have a bunch of steps. Usually we all get together.

Not this year. Me, my wife and 2 daughters on our own. Probably for Christmas also. But we have not approached that bridge yet. Of course both my daughters will be home from college and out of town. So, I guess I just wanted to avoid the in laws.

[GrantDawg]

My brother in law getting the virus settled the matter for us. We are going to celebrate in our own households. I will be fixing the meal for my wife's mom and dad, and we will wave to them from the dtoveway. My wife's mom has chronic leukemia, so we have stayed a good distance since March.

Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk

[NobodyHere]

I would state my plans but I'm afraid Gov Whitmer wouls arrest me.

[RainMaker]

Really small gathering and my brothers and I will be hard quarantining for a week before. My Mom is immune-compromised so we have to be careful.

[Racer]

I'm staying home with my dog for Thanksgiving. I have done it before as I live 3+ hours from any family. Honestly, it's kind of nice in a way. No one is stressed about making a meal for people. I can make a few of my favorites dishes and just sit down and watch football a lot of the day. Turkey Tenderloins are a good choice instead of a full turkey for anyone who has a Thanksgiving gathering of two or fewer people.

I am hoping to have a Zoom call with my family on either Thanksgiving or Black Friday.

I am undecided on Christmas. My Dad's wife is an Evangelical Christian. I get the sense she runs around a decent amount helping out her seven adult children and I am not sure if she takes the pandemic seriously enough. My sister, who lives in the same city as my Dad, works in a hospital so she might be a bit more at risk as well. I am not sure I want to take the risk of getting COVID by going there for Christmas with a vaccine seemingly very close.

My brother, sister-in-law, and other sister live in the DC area (I live in the Louisville, KY) and are also of the mindset of taking no chances so I won't be going out there for Christmas.

I have been working from home since March and currently only going to the store about once or twice a week so I am hoping I can avoid getting it.