If you think you're having a bad day, at least you aren't Jeffrey Toobin

[RainMaker]

Pretty tough to come back from this one.

New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom Call

[spleen1015]

[spleen1015]

Dola,

I'm sure I'll be making/hearing lots of Toobin jokes on calls the next few days.

[JediKooter]

I wonder how many times the author of the story had check, double check and then triple check every time they typed 'election'.

[PilotMan]

I don't even think "I'm sorry, I thought the camera and mic were off" excuse actually works here. Because the actual questions then becomes, how involved were you in this discussion? And is your schedule so busy that you needed THIS time to yourself? And this seems like a rather unprofessional effort. And were you trying to win a bet? Which then leads to, I wonder how many kids in class have done this (jerked off in class with their camera and mic off)? Or how many teachers? (I really hope it's zero.)

[Edward64]

What an idiot.

[miami_fan]

https://www.bizjournals.com/bizwomen....html?page=all

The Fishbowl survey asked users, "Do you wear pants while on video conference calls?"

Here’s what they discovered:

1 out of 10 people (9.6%) wear only underwear below the belt during video conference calls. The gender breakdown probably won't surprise you — men answered that they video conference in their underwear at more than three times a higher rate than women at 14.27% vs 4.72%
Only 3% of professionals wear professional attire in video meetings
75.20% answered with pajamas, sweats, shorts, or leggings
12.50% answered with jeans

[sterlingice]

There's a pretty big difference between, say, shorts or jeans and underwear

SI

[molson]

I bought his great book The Nine at a library book sale years ago and finally read it a couple of weeks ago. I didn't notice at the time, but it's autographed on the cover page. Do you think maybe its worth more now?

[Lathum]

It will never be worth more than it is now. I would sell it, just don’t let anyone jerk you around on the price.

[RainMaker]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

I don't even think "I'm sorry, I thought the camera and mic were off" excuse actually works here. Because the actual questions then becomes, how involved were you in this discussion? And is your schedule so busy that you needed THIS time to yourself? And this seems like a rather unprofessional effort. And were you trying to win a bet? Which then leads to, I wonder how many kids in class have done this (jerked off in class with their camera and mic off)? Or how many teachers? (I really hope it's zero.)

Sounds like he was in a big meeting and then they broke into smaller groups. He wasn't in any of the smaller groups so he decided to use that downtime to crank one out. Didn't realize he was still in the room when the other people came back.

[Groundhog]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

I don't even think "I'm sorry, I thought the camera and mic were off" excuse actually works here. Because the actual questions then becomes, how involved were you in this discussion? And is your schedule so busy that you needed THIS time to yourself? And this seems like a rather unprofessional effort. And were you trying to win a bet? Which then leads to, I wonder how many kids in class have done this (jerked off in class with their camera and mic off)? Or how many teachers? (I really hope it's zero.)

Honestly, since this whole COVID-19/work from home thing, the sheer volume of 30/60 mins calls I find myself in with next to nil to contribute belies belief. Like, what used to be someone coming over and talking to one person for 5 mins in the office now is a 30 minute scheduled call that flies off into random unproductive tangents quickly. I will clarify that I do not however decide to do that... much more likely to throw CKIII on in the background.

[molson]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Sounds like he was in a big meeting and then they broke into smaller groups. He wasn't in any of the smaller groups so he decided to use that downtime to crank one out. Didn't realize he was still in the room when the other people came back.

I guess that's better than there being a particular identifiable target of his...uh, passion...on the zoom with him.

[stevew]

My cousin Walter jerked off in public once.
True story.

He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, *Snap* the hydraulics kick back in.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Sounds like he was in a big meeting and then they broke into smaller groups. He wasn't in any of the smaller groups so he decided to use that downtime to crank one out. Didn't realize he was still in the room when the other people came back.

It also sounds like he was broadcasting to someone else. They said it looked like he was on another video call, and he then switch the angle to show his penis before dropping out. He might have meant to have the video on for one call and not the other.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

...Which then leads to, I wonder how many kids in class have done this (jerked off in class with their camera and mic off)? Or how many teachers? (I really hope it's zero.)

I think we can know this has happened at least with students. The worst thing I have heard so far was this: Girl’s teacher saw 7-year-old being sexually assaulted during e-learning session, Chicago police say - Chicago Tribune

[Bee]

Don't worry guys, I'm sure Toobin has this well in hand.

[ColtCrazy]

Originally Posted by Groundhog

Honestly, since this whole COVID-19/work from home thing, the sheer volume of 30/60 mins calls I find myself in with next to nil to contribute belies belief. Like, what used to be someone coming over and talking to one person for 5 mins in the office now is a 30 minute scheduled call that flies off into random unproductive tangents quickly. I will clarify that I do not however decide to do that... much more likely to throw CKIII on in the background.

Amen to this. I am now having principal conferences go virtual where the entire day is a Zoom meeting. 8 hours with a one hour break for lunch. Much of it you are just listening with breakout sessions to various discuss topics. I'm shocked at how many people leave their cameras on during the lectures. They would be appalled if they would see what they do during a 90 min lecture. I always make sure my camera is off and I am muted until the breakout session starts. Still, what would possess someone to even try this in front of a computer during any meeting? Is there a thrill in that?

[bob]

Originally Posted by stevew

My cousin Walter jerked off in public once.
True story.

He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, *Snap* the hydraulics kick back in.

Since no one else is going to do it....

Well, did he cum, or what?

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by ColtCrazy

Amen to this. I am now having principal conferences go virtual where the entire day is a Zoom meeting. 8 hours with a one hour break for lunch. Much of it you are just listening with breakout sessions to various discuss topics. I'm shocked at how many people leave their cameras on during the lectures. They would be appalled if they would see what they do during a 90 min lecture. I always make sure my camera is off and I am muted until the breakout session starts. Still, what would possess someone to even try this in front of a computer during any meeting? Is there a thrill in that?

Just speculating here, but I'm guessing he thought he was muted with camera off, right? But there's never a way to be 100% sure - like 99% sure, but never 100% sure. So, uh, just don't do it, man.

I'm guessing Toobin is going to quickly become a new euphemism for, um, pleasuring one's self during a conference call. And, you know, as far as names go- that's a pretty good one. "Toobin" sounds like something you could be doing while on a Zoom meeting.

SI

[Kodos]

Who's Toobin' Who?

[JPhillips]

I think, would you do this at the office, is a pretty good standard for at home work.

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

I think, would you do this at the office, is a pretty good standard for at home work.

Well actually

There are surveys out that say about a third of people admit to masturbating at work. I doubt they do it in the meeting rooms so I guess if you are stating what part of the office in your standard, you are correct.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by bob

Since no one else is going to do it....

Well, did he cum, or what?

Jesus Christ, man. There's just some things you don't talk about in public.

[Critch]

The only zoom video call I've ever had was bingo night with my mother and sister. Thankfully I didnt give in to temptation and have a quick Toobin that night.

[Ironhead]

Originally Posted by stevew

Jesus Christ, man. There's just some things you don't talk about in public.

He should probably save those kind of questions for a Zoom call or something.

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by Critch

The only zoom video call I've ever had was bingo night with my mother and sister. Thankfully I didnt give in to temptation and have a quick Toobin that night.

You were tempted to Toobin by bingo night with your mother and sister?

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by miami_fan

Well actually

There are surveys out that say about a third of people admit to masturbating at work. I doubt they do it in the meeting rooms so I guess if you are stating what part of the office in your standard, you are correct.

Wait... What?!?

SI

[ISiddiqui]

Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts.

Oh c'mon, Toobin was just getting in character!

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Wait... What?!?

SI

This one is addresses our current working from home situation. Maybe they are also in their Zoom meetings

35 Percent of Men and 17 Percent of Women Masturbate While ‘Working From Home’

From the survey respondents, 35 percent of men and 17 percent of women admitted that they’d been masturbating during work hours—and only a quarter of those felt guilty about it. Younger respondents were typically more likely to have done so, with most of the wankers (31.3 percent) sitting in the 18 to 24 age bracket. About a quarter of those who admitted to masturbating while “working” were aged 35 to 44; the age brackets of 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 accounted for about 21 percent of the wankers each; while 8.3 percent were aged 65 to 74.

This one is a bit older and is more geared to the office.

Glamour's 2012 Guy Survey: 1,000 Men Fess Up To the Shocking, Sexual and Occasional Sweet Things They Do | Glamour

OK, let's get right to the good stuff. Where, of these places, have you masturbated? (Select all that apply.)

At work: 31%

While visiting my parents' house: 31%

At a party: 10%

While driving: 24%

None of the above: 48% (to which we say thank you, cubicle mate, for not going there!)

YMMV

[Drake]

I've had sex at work, but can't say I ever thought about just jerking it.

(Before anyone gets all excited, the sex wasn't in my "professional" life. We're talking back in high school and college in the stock room. Teenagers are gonna teenager.)

[sterlingice]

24% "while driving"? Maybe that helps explain some bad drivers

SI

[Ksyrup]

THE VIDEO MEETING SOLUTION FOR MEN pic.twitter.com/GgAsizNRWI

— Brittlestar (@brittlestar) October 20, 2020

[Kodos]

Maybe Pilotman can let us know how often pilots take care of things.

[miami_fan]

This is not masturbation related. I want to show how comfortable people are working from home.

Dresscode survey: 1 in 3 admit working-from-home naked

"We did find that 29 percent of workers work naked when working from home. Did that surprise me? That’s probably one of the words I would associate with my response to that. No, it didn’t surprise me. I think what surprised me is that people were so honest about the fact that they were working naked while working from home. I imagine that people weren’t working the full day naked. My guess is that there were some experiences where perhaps they had to and they answered the question with that in mind," said DuDell.

[sterlingice]

I am clearly doing this whole "work from home" thing wrong. Sure, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt most days, but I log in, get work done, occasionally check the internet (like at work, really), and generally work as if I were, you know, at work. We're homeschooling a kindergartner so that cuts about another hour and a half out of my day. But I'm not walking around naked or pleasuring myself during meetings so I guess I'm not living my fullest life.

SI

[HerRealName]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Maybe Pilotman can let us know how often pilots take care of things.

A better question might be, has Pilotman ever not ejaculated during lift off?

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

I am clearly doing this whole "work from home" thing wrong. Sure, I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt most days, but I log in, get work done, occasionally check the internet (like at work, really), and generally work as if I were, you know, at work. We're homeschooling a kindergartner so that cuts about another hour and a half out of my day. But I'm not walking around naked or pleasuring myself during meetings so I guess I'm not living my fullest life.

SI

No kidding. I've been working from home for almost 10 years (I have an hour commute so I've been allowed to work 3-4 days a week from home), and I generally get more done at home than at work. In fact, if anything, I'm more attentive at home to things like email and calls because if you call someone at home and they don't answer, it's a lot easier for people to think that person isn't actually working than if that happens in the office. So I'm pretty aware of that.

I generally have the basement to myself, so I guess I have a pretty good employee/bachelor pad set-up. That said, I can't ever recall being naked outside of my bathroom/bedroom, for any reason.

[albionmoonlight]

Underlying all this is this idea that Toobin is some kind of irreplaceable talent for CNN. Which is just wrong.

I think that every major on-air political and sports commentator could go away and be replaced by the next in line, and after a week we'd be fine with it.

"Do you miss SVP?" "Yeah, but the new guy's pretty good; he's growing on me."

"Do you miss the original Fox and Friends hosts?" "I did at first, but I really like the new people now."

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

if you call someone at home and they don't answer, it's a lot easier for people to think that person isn't actually working than if that happens in the office

100% this. I mean, there are days when I have fewer pressing work tasks than others, but I'm pretty much always at my table in the basement where I have things set up unless I am grabbing coffee, food, or in the bathroom.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

No kidding. I've been working from home for almost 10 years (I have an hour commute so I've been allowed to work 3-4 days a week from home), and I generally get more done at home than at work. In fact, if anything, I'm more attentive at home to things like email and calls because if you call someone at home and they don't answer, it's a lot easier for people to think that person isn't actually working than if that happens in the office. So I'm pretty aware of that.

I generally have the basement to myself, so I guess I have a pretty good employee/bachelor pad set-up. That said, I can't ever recall being naked outside of my bathroom/bedroom, for any reason.

My seems to have this amazing timing to always call when I'm in the bathroom. It's uncanny.

SI

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Maybe Pilotman can let us know how often pilots take care of things.

I'll never lend a hand.

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

My seems to have this amazing timing to always call when I'm in the bathroom. It's uncanny.

SI

Which leads me to the guys who are on speaker phone, pissing in the urinal, at the airport, with a line of guys behind them and every stall filled. I'm like, are you fucking serious? You really needed to be on that call right now?

[PilotMan]

I may be guilty of some part of this whole conversation but I will also say I was 17/18 at the time and had the store to myself.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Maybe Pilotman can let us know how often pilots take care of things.

From every movie I have ever seen, it is with the flight attendant. Which begs the question, why do movies seem to portray flight attendants and pilots as sluts?

[spleen1015]

Probably because they are?

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by spleen1015

Probably because they are?

Come on! Pilotman is not a slut......that we know of

[PilotMan]

Pilot, flight attendant, manager, waitress, yes, it happens a lot (my wife was the hostess, I was the manager pre airline). It happens a lot in aviation, because how often are you on downtime, with access to alcohol and a paid hotel room?

It's opportunity more than anything. Oh, and douchebags who cheat.

[Silver Owl]

Soooooo ... Whats the problem again?

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by Silver Owl

Soooooo ... Whats the problem again?

Nothing as long as the Mrs is on board with whatever you're up to or you're down with whatever she's doing.