Karlifornia's Face The Board Answers

[Antmeister]

Where did you grow up?

I was born in Palo Alto, California, which is about 30 miles south of San Francisco. It was a faux utopia. A fauxtopia, if you will. Sunshine splashed across the town, and maple trees lines the streets. Maybe they were oak or cypress trees. I don’t really know. Anyway, it was town too rich for our blood.

When I was about 5, my mother moved us to a growing town called San Jose, which is about 50 miles south of San Francisco. I grew up there.


What brought you to the FOFC?

In between marathon masturbation sessions, I would play Front Page Sports '98. After the fiasco of the next FPS release, I had nothing. I found FOF through a yahoo search. I guess that's I found The Sideline.


Have you ever played werewolf?

I have never played a game of werewolf. It sounds like Clue and Dungeons and Dragons having a lovechild. I don't know if my feeble brain can handle that.


Do you have any superpowers?

I have the ability to sleep through a fire alarm, which is pretty awesome.


What do you do for fun? What do you do for money?

For fun I play guitar and do poor cover versions of rock n roll classics. There’s nothing quite like playing a new song for someone and then having them scramble to hear the original version of the song, just to erase the memory of my version.

I know this is going to make me sound like Paris Hilton, but I also love partying!

Right now, I work at a pizza place in downtown San Jose, but I’m trying to get a job as a plumber and go to school at night. I guess it’s time for me to finally get some sort of adult work.


How long do you expect to live?

That’s hard to say. My grandfather on my dads side died of colon cancer in his 70s. So I guess there is that gene. My mom’s grandfather smoked all his life and died in his sleep at 86. I don’t know. Just to be fun I’ll say I will wind up hanging myself during masturbation at the age of 41.


What do you look like?

I look Vin Diesel with leukemia or anorexia…except my nose isn’t as big. Go to myspace.com/kbernal - I have plenty of photos there.


What do you prefer physically in a woman?

I like curves, hold the cottage cheese.


How did you get your username?

People started changing their names, I’ve got a tattoo of California on my torso…my name is Karl. There it was.


What sports do you follow?

Pro and college football, pro and college basketball, pro baseball, pro hockey.


Which are your favorite teams?
San Francisco Giants (Barry Bonds rules), San Francisco 49ers (hooray for new coach), Golden State Warriors (bad bad Monta!), Stanford Cardinal (I already miss the Lopez twins), and San Jose Sharks (they’re making the cup finals this year).

Basically the class of the Bay Area organizations.


Why or how did they become your favorite teams?

Geography….television coverage…getting to go to the games. When I was 4 my dad had 49ers season tickets. One game, they were playing the Vikings, and Steve Young made his crazy TD run that they made into a Burger King commercial recently. I was a fan for life after that.


What do you do for a living?

Ah, the first repeat question. Can I expect more of these? Is it like a commercial for the MONSTERS OF METAL cd, where they list all the songs at least twice?


Do you have any post-secondary education? If so, where?

What does this mean? Graduate school? If so, no.


Are you married? Have a common law partner? Have kids?

None of the above. I haven’t even had a steady girlfriend in over 2 years. I think my mom is probably worried I might be turning gay or something. Not gay, mom! I’m just too selfish to be in a committed relationship right now.


What would you say is some of your favorite music?

“Fads they come, and fads they go, but god I love that rock ‘n’ roll.”

-Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse


What would you say are some of your favorite movies?

I don’t like most action movies, unlike most guys. I like Commando, and most other 80’s Arnold movies for the UIC. I’d have to say a top 10 list of my favorite movies would look something like…..

Pulp Fiction
Night Of The Hunter
Friday
Rear Window
City Of God
Goodfellas
Boyz N The Hood
There’s Something About Mary
The second half of Deer Hunter
Alien


Where were you born?

I already gave it away in my answer to the first question. To keep things spicy, this time I’ll say I was born under a bad sign.


Where have you lived and where do you live now? Do you have any opinions on the places you have lived in?

I have lived in San Jose my whole life except for about a year in Winchester, Massachusetts. I like both places. I want to move out of San Jose soon, though. I think it’s healthy to alter your surroundings. I want to be a drifter like Henry Chinaski, but I’m too fond of sleeping in a bed every night. NYC and San Diego are two places I’d love to give a shot.


Do you play any sports? Have you played any sports in the past? Are there sports you want to try out?

I don’t really play any sports anymore. I’m pretty out of shape. I played tennis in high school. I wanted to play basketball, but I sucked at it and was short. I guess they don’t really look for those two qualities in basketball players.

I want to play Dark Cloud’s toccer game. I am pretty sure I would go on to be the greatest toccer player in history. They would name the mvp award after me. Yeah, DC. That’s a challenge.


Happiest moment of your life?

Probably the first time I made a woman climax. Seriously. I felt like a golden God on high. It’s truly profound to do that for the first time.


Saddest moment of your life?

That would probably be when I got arrested for DUI. I had gotten shitfaced the night before. And the next day I went for a drive to get something to eat, and I got pulled over for an illegal U-turn in front of my house. I managed to blow a .085 the day after. It sucked. I learned a valuable lesson, though.


If you had to re-live one moment in your life, what would it be?

The night before my DUI, I would have stuck with club soda.


What regrets do you have?

I regret not working harder in high school. I regret dumping my last girlfriend in the manner that I did. I regret any time I’ve ever been mean to anyone.


Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert?

I consider myself both. There are many nights when I just enjoy being by myself….reading…watching movies…playing guitar…surfing the internet. When we have a party at our house, or go to party, I am very social and forward. My friends sometimes think I’m being two different people, but I say it’s just two sides to the same person.


What is your favorite catch phrase?

My favorite one to use is “That.Was.Awesome.” whenever something that meets the opposite standards of awesome happens. It’s usually at the expense of someone else, or myself.


What are your top 5 movies?

I only enjoy sequels. Police Academy: Mission To Moscow….Leprechaun in Space…..Homeward Bound: Lost In San Francisco…Sister Act II: Back In The Habit…Beethoven’s 3rd.


What would you do with 1 million bucks? 10 million?

With one million I’d buy a house for my mom and just save the rest in some kind of bank account. With 10 million, I’d buy my mom a house, then buy myself a house somewhere. I’m thinking either Paris or Cabo. I’d also hire the upright Citizens Brigade to do nightly performances in a diamond plated Gazebo on my property.


You're at a party and as it progresses, everyone strips naked and jumps in the pool, do you join?

Hell yeah, I would! That’s called “free advertising”.


What's your beverage of choice?

Non-alcoholic division: Coke…or Clearly Canadian. Does anyone else remember Clearly Canadian? Those things were fucking good. I can’t find them anymore.

Alcoholic division: Moosehead is my favorite beer. I’ve never been one of those “I only drink microbrew” beer snobs. Maybe I when I grow up and have kids I’ll be a beer snob. Call it an aspiration.

When it comes to hard stuff, I’m all about Johnnie Walker Black at the bar. If I’m going to pay exorbitant bar prices, I may as well have my drink do its part in making it an occaision. At home, I’m perfectly fine sipping Jim Beam.


Do you have an abnormal fear?

I think I may be afraid of total silence, but I don’t know.

When I was about 3 years old, my Aunt Carolyn babysat me. She thought it would be a good idea to put on “Dolls”, which was a movie about these maniacal, killer dolls. From that day until I was in my early teens, I was petrified of dolls. My mom had a doll collection, and I’d constantly be on the lookout for any sign of movement from those motherfuckers. Eventually I made my mom put her dolls away.


What food do you never tire of?

That is definitely STEAK. I can eat a good steak most days of the week. I also love bacon. I also change my “When will I die?” answer to 35, of a massive heart attack.


What better: vanilla or chocolate?

Chocolate. Can’t stand vanilla.


What better: sweet or salty?

Salty most definitely.


Favorite YouTube video?




If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

The ability to summon Bald Eagles out of nowhere, and have them land on my shoulder.


Which bad habits drive you crazy?

People who can’t whisper in the movie theater, people who take phone calls in the theater.

Also, people who honk their car horns at unnecessary times aggravate me. If the light has been green for .5 seconds, don’t honk at me, asshole. Don’t abuse the horn!


Do you have any annoying habits?

Oh, I’m sure. Sometimes I leave the oven on after I’ve cooked. I guess that’s less “annoying” and more “dangerous”.


List 1 thing you would change about yourself.

I would give myself a higher voice, so I could sing like all my favorite rock stars do.


What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?

Usually I like sitting at home with my three roommates, and maybe a select few others. We drink and listen to music all night…and just bullshit.


Do you have any hidden talents?

I can tie a knot in a cherry stem….with my MIND. Well my mind controls my tongue, right?


What happens to us after we die?

We rot.


Would you break the law or lie to save a friend?

Hell yeah I would. I’ve done both of these things many times before and will probably do both in the future. I’m sure JonInMiddleGA will call me treasonous 


Did you ever have a realistic dream that truly scared you?

Yeah, one time I had a dream that this guy came to house my mom and I lived in, claiming it was his house. He started chasing me with a gun that had a laser sight on it. I remember zig zagging in a hallway, trying to avoid any shots. I turned around, was blinded by the laser. I saw only red, and waited to get killed. Then I woke up.


What are you not afraid of?


The dark. I’m a night owl.

Which is worse: rejection or failure?

I can’t stand rejection. I hate it. Failure I can live with, but at least give me a chance!


What are you hoping for in the future?

I pretty much fashion my life after the character Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood. I want to adopt a deaf child, ruthlessly rise to wealth through shady oil acquisitions. I want to meet a long-lost brother, kill him, and then beat a preacher to death with a bowling pin. I’m finished.


You are on a flight from California to Texas and the back of the airplane catches fire. You have enough time to make ONE phone call, who would you call?

Probably Live Links. I’d want to die while making flirty chit-chat with a supposedly beautiful woman.


You are at the doctor's office and she has informed you that you have one month to live.. what do you do?

Fall to my knees sobbing and beg the doctor to save my sad, pathetic life.


Why are SpongeBob SquarePants' parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

Well, Spongebob is still young and in shape. His parents are fat slobs. Everyone knows that. Duh.


Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

It’s probably because I’m often walking around holding bread. Those bitches can’t get enough of it.


What was your old handle?

I started out as RadioFriendlyUnitShifter, which is song number ten on the Nirvana album “In Utero”. I had an unhealthy obsession with Nirvana as a teenager. I collected all the b-sides, bootlegs…just in full on Cobain Mania, or “Cobainia”. As the years passed, my taste in music became less limited, and the name felt dated.


What's with your chat handle oo00ooo00oooo?

Well, I had already had many other awesome AIM names: “BrahmaBull5” “Brah Is Back” “Menace2Sobriety” “Bow2TheWang” “I Did It OJ”. I thought it was time to grow up. It’s an important time in a man’s life when he decides he needs to have a screen name with class. I thought “Why are Penn State’s uniforms the best in college football?” The answer is minimalism. What is more minimal than a bunch of zeroes? So, in summary, I did it because of Joe Paterno (like most things in my life).


If you really are what you eat, then what are you?

I am……HUMAN FLESH!


4 words you never wanna hear?

“I fucked Subway Jared”

I mean…that’s a damn dealbreaker right there.


I know you won't let me down on this question: I'm trying to think of a good way to mildly freak out random strangers, got any suggestions?

Sit down next to someone at a bus stop, kick off your shoes, and starting biting your toenails.

Also, for you Lorena: When some stranger says something to or about your kids, tell them “Yeah, they can also drink me under the table”.


Would having a million bucks solve most of your problems?

Yeah, I’d say so. Then again, I don’t have big problems.


If you were offered $50K to appear in an underwear ad, would you do it?

Only if I was allowed to have an erection in the ad. Just so people could be like “Hey, is that Karl in the underwear ad? Uh….does he a full on erection? What the fuck?”

[Antmeister]

Where is the best pizza in Silicon Valley?

Well, I work at a place called Pizza My Heart. It’s good, but I’ve been hearing people rave about this place on Stevens Creek called “A Slice Of New York”. Look it up on Yelp...people are crazy about it. I’ll have to try it when I’m not sick of pizza.


3 people live or dead or fictional you'd like to have a meal/drink with?

Chris Rock, Charles Barkley, Elton John


Have you ever been to the Mystery Spot?

Yeah, a long time ago. I thought it kind of sucked. I guess I was a cynical child.


Would you rather be funny or cocky?

I’m hilarious in my own mind. I’ll take the cockiness in my own mind, just because you can’t have one without the other. It’s like Harold Melvin without the Blue Notes, or something.


One book that you've been meaning to read but just haven't for whatever reason.

The DaVinci Code…..PSYCH! I want to read Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, and The Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, what with his passing and all.


Last place you took a trip to? (Outside of the local area)

It’s been a while since I’ve taken a trip. I guess Coachella in ’06.


Will Stanford ever be good in basketball again?

It will be at least a year or two. I’m not sold on Dawkins as the head man, but I guess time will tell. It’s unfortunate they lost Miles Plumlee. I guess that’s just another reason to root against Duke.


Would you do Sarah Palin?

Yes, but I wonder if that accent would render me impotent. Plus, she probably would then demand that we get married and have 6 kids.


Is it true that your real board name is "Dani Karlifornia"? (been playing too much Rock band)

No, but I’m still not sick of that song. I love the solo at the end…it’s very Hendrix-esque. John Frusciante is the truth when it comes to playing guitar. It’s great that he could get off smack and get back to melting faces.


Is the Internet actually for porn?

Oh yeahhhhh. I love me some internet porn. I’m all about Redtube. I like how they divide it up into categories. We’re all in different moods sometimes. Sometimes you want big tits. Sometimes you get a hankering for some teen action. Or maybe you want to see a fake maid get nailed. Redtube organizes it so that you don’t have to sift through everything.

I will say that internet porn has kind of warped my sexuality (no homo). I got a hold of the internet porn too early. It’s still exciting to see a girl naked in the flesh, but all the crazy shit I’ve seen tempers it a bit.


Ok.. you had to invite 5-6 other FOFCers over for a night of gaming. Who do you invite, and what do you play?

Detox, of course, cause we’re internet BFF’s, Pumpy Tudors for comic relief. I would invite JeeberD, because he seems like he can have a good time. Senator, because if you get in trouble somehow, it’s nice to have someone with political clout. I would invite SackAttack, so we could fight about the Dodgers and Giants, and he’s got access to a bunch of games. Lastly, I would invite Lorena, because she seems really upbeat and we don’t want a sausage fest.

I would invite everyone, actually. Let’s all get together and party!

We would play these games:

NBA Jam (SNES)

Super Mario Kart (SNES)

Super Puzzle Fighter (PS One)

Smash Bros. Melee (wii I think?)

And maybe we could through in a little Night Trap and on SEGA CD, just for laughs.


What actor/actress can do no wrong?

Brad Pitt is great in anything he does. Daniel Day-Lewis is a great actor. It’s really cool (as well as frightening) to see something envelop someone as much acting does Lewis. As far as actresses go, I like Kate Hudson, although I can’t go as far as to say she does no wrong. Also, I love David Cross as both an actor and a comedian.


Being bi-racial, did you encounter any problems growing up?

I never really had problems with people treating me poorly. I mostly had internal problems. I would make a game of trying to relate to people who didn’t think I could relate to them. If all of my friends were at a party, and there was a skinhead there, I’d try to chat up the skinhead, just to see if I could make friends with him. It wasn’t even about a greater good…It was just me trying to satisfy my own thirst for approval.


Would you tell your friend if he/she had a visible booger?

I would tell them in an instant. I hope my friends extend the same courtesy to me. I’m kind of paranoid about things hanging out of my nose. If I’m talking to someone (especially a girl), and they start wiping their nose as they’re talking to me, I instinctively think they’re covering their own bases because I have some huge snot bubble protruding from my nose. I shouldn’t care so much.


Have you been caught by your parents doing something bad/naughty?

I’ve nearly been caught a few times. When I lived at home, I would masturbate to internet porn (much as I do now sans living with parents), and doing it with a parent in the house is always a risky proposition, especially if you don’t even have your own room. I’d have to always be listening.

I had a couple close calls messing around with girls on the couch. The thrill of getting caught isn’t actually any sort of thrill at all when it’s your own mother potentially doing the discovery.
I remember one time with a girlfriend…we lived in an apartment with another couple, and me and my girlfriend had just been intimate. I decided to risk it and go out to the kitchen to get us some drinks completely naked. I don’t know why I couldn’t be bothered to at least put on some boxers. Sure enough, our roommates came out of their bedroom, straight for the kitchen. I hid behind the open fridge door, and yelled out “Don’t come in here. It’s not in your best interests.” They listened.


Has a bird ever pooped on your head?

No. I guess it will probably happen now. Thanks for forcing me to tempt fate.


At your current age, what are you starting to lose?

I’m paranoid that I’m losing my hair. I just shaved my head last week, and I could swear it was getting thinner around the hairline. Everyone thinks I’m insane. I think I’m getting a bit nearsighted, as well.


Are you strong?

Not really. I mean, girls will still ask me to open jars for them, and give them piggy back rides, but when it comes to moving that dresser or something, they’ll probably be looking for someone else. I’m skinny. I’m not weak (well, ok, maybe I am), but I wouldn’t bet on myself in most arm wrestling matches.


Biggest pet peeve?

I guess this was already a question, but I’ll reach back for something else: People who linger on the phone. If you call me, then say what you have to say, and learn to hang up the fucking phone. Don’t call me and then force me to end the conversation somehow. You opened this up, now wrap it back up.


Biggest FOFC pet peeve?

I don’t get too bothered by any one thing. I guess “I’m never posting here again” threads are kind of lame.


If sex was an Olympic sport, should the gold go to the guy finishing first or last?

If you finish first, and you care at all about this woman, you better get down there and at least attempt to get her across the finish line. The reward far exceeds the effort. You can even stay above the mason-dixon line. In fact you should stay north with the mouth. Let’s say the…uhm…love canal itself is the USA…you keep your oral attention to Canada, and she should be good to go pretty quick. The gold goes to whoever makes sure both people are satisfied.


Karlifornia cereal introduced-- what's on the box? what's in the cereal? and what is the cool prize inside?

I like this question. It’s different. Anyway, Karlifornia cereal would have a picture of some anthropomorphic marshmallows gang-raping a bar of chocolate. That gets the attention of the sugar-hungry children. Then, when you open it up, it’s just grape nuts. The cool prize inside is the health value of the grape nuts.

I love grape nuts.


You're in prison sharing a cell with two FOFC posters. Which would would you shank and which one would you sodomize?

I would shank EaglesFan27, because he could give himself proper medical care, and I would sodomize Flasch, just because magazines pay big money for celebrity sexcapade stories


You are known for your stupid hair, and awful facial hair; why is it you have little to no sense of style?

My hair is fucking weird, man. It grows out differently every time I cut. I’ve tried just going afro puff, I’ve tried straightening it and doing the Al Sharpton look. My facial hair is patchy. I can’t help it. I look like a terrorist when I grow it out. I have a sense of style. It’s just defective.


You are a mixed race person: which race would you rather be? White or black?

Oh, you definitely gotta go white. If you want me to elaborate, just go watch a couple of Chris Rock specials. He nails in on the head many times. A black man has to fly to where a white man can walk to.


What is your least favorite race?

Mulattoes. I’ve spent my whole life relating to people who were different than me. When I meet people who were in the same boat I was, it’s just weird. It’s like I’ve got nothing special about me anymore. We both know all about it already. We have nothing to talk about past “Who was black, ya mom or ya dad?”


You told me once when you were 23 or so that there was a hot 17 year old who wanted your nuts. Did you hit that?

There were a couple at that time. God…..I never did. I should have, though. Everybody else I know was doing it. Why couldn’t I? Oh well.


Robin Lopez is nailing Michelle Wie -- Would you?

No. I would not nail Michelle Wie. I find the Michelle Wie story to be annoying and without any sort of follow-through on Michelle Wie’s part. I would undress her, get her all hot and bothered, handcuff her to the bed, and then say “This is for WrongWay, and all the anguish you’ve caused him” and then leave.


I've reference your chlymedia story several times. It is time to face the board, Karl, and tell everyone your sordid tale.

Nice spelling on Chlamydia there, Dr. Detox.

So, a few years ago, my girlfriend dumped me. We had lived together for like, two years. I had never been dumped before. I took it like Michael Richards takes a heckling. I was in a daze for about two days, and then I went to my best friends house one night to drink away some of the pain. He had a co-worker of his there…this kind of trashy-but-attractive type. We both got drunk, and wound up having gloveless love on my friends couch. I convinced my girlfriend to get back with me the next day. A few more days passed, and I noticed it started to burn real bad when I took a piss. The first time I was just dismissive. Then it happened every time I pissed that day. The next morning I woke up with what you might call a “leaky faucet”. I was like “Oh, no!” I went to Planned Parenthood and drank this drink and everything got better…until a couple days later, when my girlfriend stormed in the door after work and got all in my face with “It feels like I’m pissing glass.” I had a confession to make. I made the confession, and we got into a massive fight, expectedly. I drove her to Planned Parenthood…the whole time she was alternately sobbing and yelling every name in the book at me. What could I do? I had fucked up royally. I just had to sit there and take it like a man. The whole time in the waiting room was hell…screaming children running about, as I’m sitting there watching this relationship crumble.

We stayed together for a while, but it was never really the same. Her disgust over that whole incident never resulted in true forgiveness, which lead to me adding to my resentment over her breaking up with the first time.

The lesson here is: “If you’re gonna be a bastard, be a single bastard.”


Are you close with your parents? Would you consider them your friends?

I’m close with my mom. She raised me, I will love her forever. She had some problems as a single parent, but she did the best she could, and made so many sacrifices. I am very thankful to her, and consider her one of my best friends.

I would consider my dad an acquaintance, rather than a parent or a friend. We didn’t talk for nine years, from when I was 13 to when I was 22. I found his email address and wrote him a nasty letter. We got back in touch, but I basically have just kept him at bay. He’s a salesman professionally, and he’s a very good professional salesman. Unfortunately, he can’t turn that off. His whole life is one big sales pitch.


Why is it so hard to get good acid these days?

There’s not enough demand to make supplying an illegal substance worth it? I don’t know, though.

I never messed around with hallucinogens. I was got too old before I had access to them. If I tried them now, I think I would just shit myself and hide under some overpass.


Who is your FOFC nemesis?

I guess it would have to be GoldenEagle and his wife. A long time ago, I made fun of Mississippi, and I guess he didn’t care for that. Then he started calling me a racist troll in a couple of threads. At one point, his wife took a shot at me, and I called her a hillbilly. I regretted stooping down to name-calling.


Will your vote in CA this year count for anything?

For the Presidential election? Well, not unless we go down that slippery slope of “If everyone else says that their vote doesn’t matter, then nobody will vote.”


Favorite text-sim game?

Three-way tie between FOF2004, FCB, and Rockstar.


Is FM no longer a text sim now that it has a 3D match engine?

No, not by literal definition. However, I think that as long as graphics take a backseat to details in other areas, it can still be harbored by text-sim junkies. If Marc Vaughan put the engine into FIFA and had to scale it back, then there is no question at all.


Why are there no Dunkin Donuts in California? How disadvantaged is California because of this?

I loved Dunkin Donuts during my short time on the east coast. I love their glazed donuts way more than Krispy Kremes. Now, I’m not a coffee drinker, and I’ve heard that one of the big pulls of DD is their coffee. I have no input on that.


Likewise, why are there no good bagel shops in California (or at least the SF Bay Area)? Seriously, you must have enough Jews out there.

We have good bagel shops. Well, we have one good bagel shop that I’ve been to. They have all those bullshit artisan bagels that are really good. I’m not talking Noah’s, or House Of Bagels, or anything like that. This is a mom and pop shop near San Jose State. I don’t even really enjoy bagels so much, but they have good ones. California is a big state, though. You could go from feast to famine with any sort of food, depending on where you go.


Aside from CA, what's your most-favorite and least-favorite states?

I love New Mexico. It is beautiful there. Just walking around in some parts and looking at the scenery and the sky. It makes you forget that Wall Street or CNN even exist.

My least favorite state would have to be Florida. The weather there is terrible. It ruined Disney World for me.


Should we switch to English spellings (i.e. favourite)?

It seems extraneous at this point. If we turn “color” into “colour”, then why not “censor” into “censour”? Unless there is a serious linguistic emergency (is there such a thing?), then I say leave it be. The metric system would be a much more worthy change, if we’re going to adjust anything.


Have you ever used the term "karlifornication"?

I will never. Internet handles being verbalized makes me cringe for some reason. Like, if you were to meet me in real life and say, “Hi, I’m Klingerware”, I would be embarrassed for the both of us. You for saying it, and me for knowing what you’re talking about.

What did you do to radiofriendlyunitshifter?

I made him squeal like a pig. Sooie.

[flere-imsaho]

This.Is.Awesome.

[Logan]

As I expected, a great read.

[Klinglerware]

Entertaining and informative.

[JediKooter]

Awesome read. Thanks for answering my questions.

[Sun Tzu]

omgwtf. How can you only like the second half of Deer Hunter?!?!?!?!?!?! Without the first half, the second half doesn't make any damn sense, and you have nothing to compare their lives against. The whole point of the damn story is how life was affected small town america. Without knowing and living through the before, how can you possibly feel the after??? YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE!

EEEERRRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sun Tzu]

Dola - I'm also offended that you wouldn't invite me over even though I live like 20 minutes away.

[Schmidty]

Nice read. And very.....in depth!!!

[Raiders Army]

Despite your hatred of the Raiders (probably justifiably so at this point), I found this to be a great read. FWIW, this is the first FTB I've read in a while.

Anyhow, when you say This.Is. Awesome, do you do it in the Kevin voice from the Office? I've been doing that lately as well as when I screw up, I blame it on the 1.0 version of myself.

[Pumpy Tudors]

This was a hell of a lot of fun to read. I crapped myself laughing, which makes me glad that I waited until the blonde in the next cubicle left the office before I started. She'd never speak to me again if I crapped myself before she left.

Anyway, I'm flattered that I would be invited over as the comic relief, but I'm not really funny anymore. I'm ornery and gross. I think I still might fit in with your kind of crowd, though.

[Lathum]

good read

[MikeVic]

I liked how in Night Trap the solider guy would unplug your controller by ripping the cord out of the top of the Genesis controller (wtf) when you died.

[Kodos]

I had no idea you used to be RadioFriendlyUnitShifter. That guy's name always annoyed me.

[Lorena]

Hahaha, lots of LOL moments. Good stuff Karlitos! Still waiting on your costume pics

[DanGarion]

WTF, there are Dunkin Donuts in California! Who the hell says there aren't?

[path12]

Fun read.

[sachmo71]

RadioFriendlyunitshifter. and now i know.

[Logan]

How do you feel about the virtual Matt Grothe's ability to hold on to the football when mounting a long drive with a comfortable lead?

Whoops, you're not taking questions anyway. Sorry.

[Karlifornia]

Originally Posted by Logan

How do you feel about the virtual Matt Grothe's ability to hold on to the football when mounting a long drive with a comfortable lead?

Whoops, you're not taking questions anyway. Sorry.

How can the one you love so much turn against you in a time of need?

[MrBug708]

Good read Karl