How to (successfully) hit on a coworker.

NobodyHere · 10-03-2021, 08:46 PM

Ok love gurus I need your help.

I'm sick of spending my weekends alone getting depressed watching the Lions lose.

I was thinking of inviting one of my coworkers over Friday night or something to watch a movie. Is this a good idea? Bad idea? What movie should I suggest? My initial thought was to have her bring a movie and then screen something of my choosing. I do have a projector (which has roughly a 120" screen) and surround sound.

My love life is in your hands FOFC. Give me all the advice you can muster.

Atocep · 10-03-2021, 08:51 PM

You usually can't fail with cocky and funny.

GrantDawg · 10-03-2021, 08:51 PM

Tread carefully.

Edward64 · 10-03-2021, 08:57 PM

First date at your pad?

No. Go out somewhere and see if there is chemistry.

I'd go have lunch/dinner and then maybe ask about a movie.

NobodyHere · 10-03-2021, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Tread carefully.

I've generally tried this all my life and has gotten me nothing. I'm short. Women ain't coming to me.

I need advice that is more sitcom-ish.

LastWhiteSoxFanStanding · 10-03-2021, 09:01 PM

Agree with Edward64.

Your place for a first date is a no no.

If it is possible, arrange a get together with lots of co-workers at a bar or something. Get a good conversation going with her and then ask if she would like to have lunch or dinner sometime.

If coworker get together is a no-go. Then yeah something simple like lunch or coffee would be best.

NobodyHere · 10-03-2021, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LastWhiteSoxFanStanding

Agree with Edward64.

Your place for a first date is a no no.

If it is possible, arrange a get together with lots of co-workers at a bar or something. Get a good conversation going with her and then ask if she would like to have lunch or dinner sometime.

If coworker get together is a no-go. Then yeah something simple like lunch or coffee would be best.

This kind was kind my first idea. I wanted to invite several coworkers together for a game of Euchre (which is a 4 player card game for you non-midwesterners). It had great initial reception but it fell apart at the last minute. The woman I want to date wasn't part of the reason it fell apart.

I do have a great excuse to owe her lunch. My coworkers and I went on a kayaking trip where she borrowed some of my sunscreen and she gave me her towel when I cut my ankle up bad and was using the said towel to keep it from getting infected. So in other words I owe her a towel.

sovereignstar v2 · 10-03-2021, 09:13 PM

Your place? Where are you putting her after you carve her up?

JPhillips · 10-03-2021, 09:14 PM

Make sure you know any HR policies regarding workplace romance.

NobodyHere · 10-03-2021, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JPhillips

Make sure you know any HR policies regarding workplace romance.

It's a small business. The only policy is that it doesn't cause a problem for my boss.

JPhillips · 10-03-2021, 09:56 PM

Well then, get an ugly guy with a long nose to help you write the offer.

PilotMan · 10-03-2021, 11:28 PM

I would offer advice, since I married my hostess, and we're happily married, but then I think about all the really, really questionable shit I did a long, long time ago, and I think it's best that I back away slowly. Good Luck.

tarcone · 10-03-2021, 11:38 PM

I married a co-worker. Be honest and be slow. Communication is key.

Vince, Pt. II · 10-04-2021, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atocep

You usually can't fail with cocky and funny.

This hasn't gotten enough love.

On a serious note, I'll back up the "1st date at your house is a no go" crowd. Personally, I think direct is best. Play the towel angle and offer to take her out to lunch.

Flasch186 · 10-04-2021, 05:55 AM

Think about something out in the area that you've kind of wanted to do that would be fun or interesting and see if she wants to take it in too. that way if it sucks with her at least you've checked out something cool... ie ax throwing, rage room, distillery, chocolate making, etc and grab a coffee or a drink beforehand and let her know that if you're a jerk or come off as too cocky or funny she can always bail on the ax throwing and you'd still go because its something you've always wanted to try. You're acknowledging that she has a parachute halfway through.

Ksyrup · 10-04-2021, 07:27 AM

My wife asked me out during work but it was a grocery store and we were 19/20 (and it was 30 years ago), so probably not quite same deal.

Lathum · 10-04-2021, 07:39 AM

You should see if you can go to her place. Tell her that way you know where she lives and can stop by anytime.

korme · 10-04-2021, 09:34 AM

How long have you worked together? Do you get a sense she might be interested? Do you use dating apps?

NobodyHere · 10-04-2021, 11:08 AM

I've worked with her for almost a year. I think she may be interested. I've tried dating apps but with no results.

RainMaker · 10-04-2021, 03:47 PM

Grabbing lunch together is probably the easiest and least troublesome way to do it. Or grab a bite/drink after work.

It's tricky at work because if it goes south, it's just uncomfortable for both. I like to give myself a little plausible deniability on it in case she says no. That way you can play it off as just asking a co-worker to grab something to eat isntead of "asking on a date".

BYU 14 · 10-04-2021, 05:54 PM

I will pile on the first date at your place no way train, that just comes off bad and quite honestly reduces your odds of a favorable response, and makes you come off creepy.

I had superficial relationships with co-workers when I was single, that mostly were like friends with benefits, rather than anything serious, mainly because if you go down the serious path and things go south, work may not be a fun environment for one or both of you.

So my advice would be to be patient, be friends and see if there are sparks. Start with lunch, keep it light, listen and be empathetic, crack some jokes and follow her body language.

I had a very specific "game plan" for lack of better words for this. I would follow the blueprint above, watch for signs (eye contact, those deep smiles, touching me) that let me know there might be interest. I would then throw signs back, but not too obvious, which nearly always resulted in them making the first move. This puts you in a position, where if things don't work out, you are not the jerk, because she pursued you.

Finally, if things do progress, be honest with how you feel and what you want, then enjoy the moments.

Lathum · 10-04-2021, 06:23 PM

Do you ever go to trivia night at a bar? Maybe get a tram of coworkers to go do that.

RainMaker · 10-04-2021, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Do you ever go to trivia night at a bar? Maybe get a tram of coworkers to go do that.

This is a good idea. People are different away from the office. You will get a much better gauge of her interest in a group setting.

Glengoyne · 10-04-2021, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atocep

You usually can't fail with cocky and funny.

See, I read the thread as "How to (successfully) hit a coworker", and it took the above to get me to look at this whole thing in a different and wonderful light.

P.S. Though I'll note that my way of reading it was pretty remarkable too.

NobodyHere · 10-06-2021, 11:25 AM

On which date do I tell her that I hang around a forum with topics such as "hot child molester"?

molson · 10-06-2021, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

On which date do I tell her that I hang around a forum with topics such as "hot child molester"?

I tried to explain this place to my girlfriend when I was going out for beers with Pilotman after work. So I'd say year 7 is good time to bring that up.

AnalBumCover · 10-06-2021, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson

I tried to explain this place to my girlfriend when I was going out for beers with Pilotman after work. So I'd say year 7 is good time to bring that up.

16 years together, 14 years married. And my wife still just refers to this group as "that football guys forum"

bob · 10-06-2021, 12:08 PM

This would be a much better thread if you had left "successfully" out of the title.

sterlingice · 10-06-2021, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

16 years together, 14 years married. And my wife still just refers to this group as "that football guys forum"

My numbers are even above that and it's still the same "the football message board" and she's even met like a half dozen people from here

SI

NobodyHere · 10-06-2021, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bob

This would be a much better thread if you had left "successfully" out of the title.

I'm open to any idea.

NobodyHere · 10-06-2021, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glengoyne

See, I read the thread as "How to (successfully) hit a coworker", and it took the above to get me to look at this whole thing in a different and wonderful light.

P.S. Though I'll note that my way of reading it was pretty remarkable too.

After my day at work, this might be my next thread. (Although it involves a customer and not a coworker)

Kodos · 10-06-2021, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

After my day at work, this might be my next thread. (Although it involves a customer and not a coworker)

Maybe you can arrange it such that you hit this person in a gallant way to protect her honor. Like maybe yell “SUZY IS NOT A BITCH!” and then you hit him with a haymaker. Or something cool like that. Women eat that stuff up!

Edward64 · 10-06-2021, 05:58 PM

Pics?

So when is the big day?

Mota · 10-07-2021, 07:56 PM

This is definitely the thread I am most excited about seeing updates on right now, so there better be updates!

tarcone · 10-07-2021, 08:05 PM

I think Nobody here blocked me so I have no advice. But I am following.

NobodyHere · 10-07-2021, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tarcone

I think Nobody here blocked me so I have no advice. But I am following.

I haven't blocked anyone on FOFC except obvious trolls. But I don't see how rooting for Iowa will help me hit on my coworker.

tarcone · 10-07-2021, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

I haven't blocked anyone on FOFC except obvious trolls. But I don't see how rooting for Iowa will help me hit my coworker.

And that is where you are wrong. Rooting for Iowa scored me many a chick. Even one in St. Louis.

Just kidding. The St. Louis girl went to Iowa and was a date and I was not in dating mode at that time. We went out once and then I really never heard from her again.

NobodyHere · 10-09-2021, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kodos

Maybe you can arrange it such that you hit this person in a gallant way to protect her honor. Like maybe yell “SUZY IS NOT A BITCH!” and then you hit him with a haymaker. Or something cool like that. Women eat that stuff up!

With some of the people at the place where I work that isn't a far strretch.

NobodyHere · 10-09-2021, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Tread carefully.

This has gotten me nowhere in my love life. I need something more bold.

NobodyHere · 10-09-2021, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainMaker

This is a good idea. People are different away from the office. You will get a much better gauge of her interest in a group setting.

I will suggest this.

Lathum · 10-09-2021, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

I will suggest this.

Make sure you tell them Lathum from your online football sim forum had the idea...

NobodyHere · 10-09-2021, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Make sure you tell them Lathum from your online football sim forum had the idea...

By the way, I noticed we have a customer called "Lathum Hardware" in our database. Is this you or is someone getting on on your good name?

tarcone · 10-09-2021, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Make sure you tell them Lathum from your online football sim forum had the idea...

[IMG][/IMG]

Danny · 10-10-2021, 12:22 AM

If you like / care about your job I'd advise to simply not go there and look elsewhere

MizzouRah · 10-10-2021, 08:03 AM

My wife of 20 years, our first date was at my apartment watching movies. Of course I had a water bed so I was cool.

Bee · 10-10-2021, 09:21 AM

Get a Super Smash Brothers game cartridge and while holding it ask her to come over and smash. Works everytime.

spleen1015 · 10-10-2021, 10:07 AM

We're a week into this thread and the train wreck hasn't happened yet. Get on it OP.

Izulde · 10-10-2021, 10:13 AM

Go with lunch, but make it a picnic lunch. Bonus points if there's blackberries to pick nearby.

Qwikshot · 10-10-2021, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny

If you like / care about your job I'd advise to simply not go there and look elsewhere

I concur

Swaggs · 10-11-2021, 09:44 AM

As much as I'd like to see it work out (and/or hilarity ensue), I agree with not going there. And, if you do, wait until you have done friend-type things for a good while before broaching the subject of a date. It's not worth it to potentially make her feel uncomfortable at work.

10-03-2021, 09:14 PM	#9
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	Make sure you know any HR policies regarding workplace romance. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

10-03-2021, 09:56 PM	#11
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	Well then, get an ugly guy with a long nose to help you write the offer. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

10-03-2021, 11:28 PM	#12
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	I would offer advice, since I married my hostess, and we're happily married, but then I think about all the really, really questionable shit I did a long, long time ago, and I think it's best that I back away slowly. Good Luck. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

10-03-2021, 11:38 PM	#13
tarcone Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pacific	I married a co-worker. Be honest and be slow. Communication is key. __________________ Excuses are for wusses- Spencer Lee Punting is Winning- Tory Taylor The word is Fight! Fight! Fight! For Iowa FOFC 30 Dollar Challenge Champion-OOTP '15

10-04-2021, 05:55 AM	#15
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	Think about something out in the area that you've kind of wanted to do that would be fun or interesting and see if she wants to take it in too. that way if it sucks with her at least you've checked out something cool... ie ax throwing, rage room, distillery, chocolate making, etc and grab a coffee or a drink beforehand and let her know that if you're a jerk or come off as too cocky or funny she can always bail on the ax throwing and you'd still go because its something you've always wanted to try. You're acknowledging that she has a parachute halfway through. __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

10-03-2021, 08:51 PM	#2
Atocep Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Puyallup, WA	You usually can't fail with cocky and funny.

10-03-2021, 08:51 PM	#3
GrantDawg World Champion Mis-speller Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Covington, Ga.	Tread carefully.

10-03-2021, 08:57 PM	#4
Edward64 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2005	First date at your pad? No. Go out somewhere and see if there is chemistry. I'd go have lunch/dinner and then maybe ask about a movie.

10-03-2021, 09:01 PM	#6
LastWhiteSoxFanStanding College Starter Join Date: Jun 2003	Agree with Edward64. Your place for a first date is a no no. If it is possible, arrange a get together with lots of co-workers at a bar or something. Get a good conversation going with her and then ask if she would like to have lunch or dinner sometime. If coworker get together is a no-go. Then yeah something simple like lunch or coffee would be best.

10-03-2021, 09:13 PM	#8
sovereignstar v2 hates iowa Join Date: Oct 2010	Your place? Where are you putting her after you carve her up?

10-04-2021, 07:27 AM	#16
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	My wife asked me out during work but it was a grocery store and we were 19/20 (and it was 30 years ago), so probably not quite same deal. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

10-04-2021, 07:39 AM	#17
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	You should see if you can go to her place. Tell her that way you know where she lives and can stop by anytime.

10-04-2021, 09:34 AM	#18
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	How long have you worked together? Do you get a sense she might be interested? Do you use dating apps?

10-04-2021, 11:08 AM	#19
NobodyHere Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2013	I've worked with her for almost a year. I think she may be interested. I've tried dating apps but with no results. __________________ "I am God's prophet, and I need an attorney"

10-04-2021, 03:47 PM	#20
RainMaker Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chicago, IL	Grabbing lunch together is probably the easiest and least troublesome way to do it. Or grab a bite/drink after work. It's tricky at work because if it goes south, it's just uncomfortable for both. I like to give myself a little plausible deniability on it in case she says no. That way you can play it off as just asking a co-worker to grab something to eat isntead of "asking on a date".

10-04-2021, 05:54 PM	#21
BYU 14 Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The scorched Desert	I will pile on the first date at your place no way train, that just comes off bad and quite honestly reduces your odds of a favorable response, and makes you come off creepy. I had superficial relationships with co-workers when I was single, that mostly were like friends with benefits, rather than anything serious, mainly because if you go down the serious path and things go south, work may not be a fun environment for one or both of you. So my advice would be to be patient, be friends and see if there are sparks. Start with lunch, keep it light, listen and be empathetic, crack some jokes and follow her body language. I had a very specific "game plan" for lack of better words for this. I would follow the blueprint above, watch for signs (eye contact, those deep smiles, touching me) that let me know there might be interest. I would then throw signs back, but not too obvious, which nearly always resulted in them making the first move. This puts you in a position, where if things don't work out, you are not the jerk, because she pursued you. Finally, if things do progress, be honest with how you feel and what you want, then enjoy the moments.

10-04-2021, 06:23 PM	#22
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	Do you ever go to trivia night at a bar? Maybe get a tram of coworkers to go do that.

10-06-2021, 11:25 AM	#25
NobodyHere Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2013	On which date do I tell her that I hang around a forum with topics such as "hot child molester"? __________________ "I am God's prophet, and I need an attorney"

10-06-2021, 12:08 PM	#28
bob College Starter Join Date: Oct 2004	This would be a much better thread if you had left "successfully" out of the title.

10-06-2021, 05:58 PM	#33
Edward64 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2005	Pics? So when is the big day?

10-07-2021, 07:56 PM	#34
Mota College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jan 2001	This is definitely the thread I am most excited about seeing updates on right now, so there better be updates!

10-07-2021, 08:05 PM	#35
tarcone Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pacific	I think Nobody here blocked me so I have no advice. But I am following. __________________ Excuses are for wusses- Spencer Lee Punting is Winning- Tory Taylor The word is Fight! Fight! Fight! For Iowa FOFC 30 Dollar Challenge Champion-OOTP '15

10-10-2021, 12:22 AM	#44
Danny Head Coach Join Date: Jul 2001	If you like / care about your job I'd advise to simply not go there and look elsewhere

10-10-2021, 08:03 AM	#45
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	My wife of 20 years, our first date was at my apartment watching movies. Of course I had a water bed so I was cool. Last edited by MizzouRah : 10-10-2021 at 08:03 AM.

10-10-2021, 09:21 AM	#46
Bee Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Fairfax, VA	Get a Super Smash Brothers game cartridge and while holding it ask her to come over and smash. Works everytime.

10-10-2021, 10:07 AM	#47
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	We're a week into this thread and the train wreck hasn't happened yet. Get on it OP. __________________ Why choose failure when success is an option?

10-10-2021, 10:13 AM	#48
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Go with lunch, but make it a picnic lunch. Bonus points if there's blackberries to pick nearby. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

10-11-2021, 09:44 AM	#50
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	As much as I'd like to see it work out (and/or hilarity ensue), I agree with not going there. And, if you do, wait until you have done friend-type things for a good while before broaching the subject of a date. It's not worth it to potentially make her feel uncomfortable at work. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

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