Do You Masturbate?

Suicane75 · 02-16-2005, 08:35 AM

I got tired early last night, had to choose between dinner or porn, got a tuna fish sandwich and some chips and chilled to some recent episodes of Monk. The new chick on there is really cute IMO and I started imaging if Sharona came back for her job and the 2 of them got into a wicked catfight that ended in sweaty analingus, but my pleasure hand was all greasy and i was tired. I tried humping my pillow but it wasnt the same, i debated getting up and brushing my teeth, washing my hands and face, doing all my pre sleep things but really, i was just tired. I finaly decided to just get a sock and do a rudeness to it. Afterwards I had to pee real bad, as is usual after achieving the glorious conclusion of the act. Once i finished all my pre sleep rituals and layed down I realized I was now wide awake and was up to all hours of the morning. If only my mind hadn't strayed I could of had a real nice nights sleep. Anyone else have this problem?

Suicane75 · 02-16-2005, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

good work

People will yell at me ya know. And i'm a tender morsel.

rkmsuf · 02-16-2005, 08:40 AM

good work

Joe · 02-16-2005, 08:42 AM

so you jacked it while looking at Tony Shaloub?

Suicane75 · 02-16-2005, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George W Bush

so you jacked it while looking at Tony Shaloub?

His range makes my nipples hard.

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 02-16-2005, 09:16 AM

And Franklinnoble was worried that the influx of chicks on this board would ruin the locker room feeling.

Noop · 02-16-2005, 09:33 AM

I must admit I get girls but I dunno sometimes I feel like banging one out so I wont be so 'tense' all day. However I usually do it in the shower I never been into sitting there watching something to get it up and out. However I know some of you here are the type that do it every other day.

Logan · 02-16-2005, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noop

I must admit I get girls but I dunno sometimes I feel like banging one out so I wont be so 'tense' all day. However I usually do it in the shower I never been into sitting there watching something to get it up and out. However I know some of you here are the type that do it 4 times a day.

Fixed.

JeeberD · 02-16-2005, 09:52 AM

I give it three stars

* Political Threads
** SkyDog in his panties
*** Tony Shaloub
**** Socks and ants

JeeberD · 02-16-2005, 09:52 AM

Dola-

Damn, didn't realize this was a parody...

Bearcat729 · 02-16-2005, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

Dola-

Damn, didn't realize this was a parody...

I thought this was about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue

MizzouRah · 02-16-2005, 10:14 AM

I burnt one out this morning.

Anthony · 02-16-2005, 10:15 AM

i don't masturbate. i hear it makes you go blind, when i grew up the rumor was you'd grow hair on your palms if you did it.

rkmsuf · 02-16-2005, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MizzouRah

I burnt one out this morning.

During The View?

MizzouRah · 02-16-2005, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

During The View?

The view of my wife sleeping nude.

vtbub · 02-16-2005, 10:19 AM

So which is the better consecutive thread title here:

Do you masturbate?-Big Mac's Secret Sauce
Do you masturbate?-Yo Subby

Logan · 02-16-2005, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vtbub

So which is the better consecutive thread title here:

Do you masturbate?-Big Mac's Secret Sauce
Do you masturbate?-Yo Subby

How bout...before I post this and bump it up...

Do you masturbate?
ESPN Hottest Female Athlete Contest

WSUCougar · 02-16-2005, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

i don't masturbate. i hear it makes you go blind, when i grew up the rumor was you'd grow hair on your palms if you did it.

Sorry, but violating a virgin hoagie probably qualifies.

Draft Dodger · 02-16-2005, 10:35 AM

oh, wait...it's a parody.

whew...was going to reveal a little TMI there for a minute.

JeeberD · 02-16-2005, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MizzouRah

The view of my wife sleeping nude.

Todd, old buddy, you need to wake her up instead of taking care of business yourself...

Anthony · 02-16-2005, 10:45 AM

if i were to jack off, which i don't, i wouldn't picture my wife. i'd picture someone else - doesn't it defeat the purpose of jacking off if you think of your loved one? just make sweet baby-making music with them if you're gonna fantasize about them.

MizzouRah · 02-16-2005, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

Todd, old buddy, you need to wake her up instead of taking care of business yourself...

forgot the [sarcasm] message [/sarcasm] tags

Todd

MizzouRah · 02-16-2005, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

if i were to jack off, which i don't, i wouldn't picture my wife. i'd picture someone else - doesn't it defeat the purpose of jacking off if you think of your loved one? just make sweet baby-making music with them if you're gonna fantasize about them.

You have to be the most gullible person here. If I want to beat it, I goto dan's movies or something, if I want my wife.. I wake her up.

Todd

02-16-2005, 08:40 AM	#3
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	good work __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

02-16-2005, 09:33 AM	#7
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Miami	I must admit I get girls but I dunno sometimes I feel like banging one out so I wont be so 'tense' all day. However I usually do it in the shower I never been into sitting there watching something to get it up and out. However I know some of you here are the type that do it every other day. __________________ Subby's favorite woman hater.

02-16-2005, 09:52 AM	#9
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	I give it three stars * Political Threads SkyDog in his panties * Tony Shaloub ** Socks and ants __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO**

02-16-2005, 09:52 AM	#10
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Dola- Damn, didn't realize this was a parody... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

02-16-2005, 10:19 AM	#16
vtbub College Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burlington, VT USA	So which is the better consecutive thread title here: Do you masturbate?-Big Mac's Secret Sauce Do you masturbate?-Yo Subby __________________

02-16-2005, 08:42 AM	#4
Joe Pro Starter Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Minneapolis	so you jacked it while looking at Tony Shaloub?

02-16-2005, 09:16 AM	#6
Farrah Whitworth-Rahn Red-Headed Vixen Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Phoenix, AZ	And Franklinnoble was worried that the influx of chicks on this board would ruin the locker room feeling.

02-16-2005, 10:14 AM	#12
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	I burnt one out this morning.

02-16-2005, 10:15 AM	#13
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	i don't masturbate. i hear it makes you go blind, when i grew up the rumor was you'd grow hair on your palms if you did it.

02-16-2005, 10:35 AM	#19
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	oh, wait...it's a parody. whew...was going to reveal a little TMI there for a minute. __________________ Mile High Hockey

02-16-2005, 10:45 AM	#21
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	if i were to jack off, which i don't, i wouldn't picture my wife. i'd picture someone else - doesn't it defeat the purpose of jacking off if you think of your loved one? just make sweet baby-making music with them if you're gonna fantasize about them.

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