Coolest Kid Ever...

[Neuqua]

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/04/19/joyride.ap/index.html

Third-grader takes teacher's van for joyride

MODESTO, California (AP) -- An 8-year-old boy swiped his teacher's car keys and took her minivan for a joyride, cruising safely home and into the record books as the city's youngest auto thief, police said.

The third-grader told officers he "just wanted to drive around for a while" when he left the James Marshall School on Monday, officer Michael Amarillas told The Modesto Bee newspaper.

The diminutive driver snatched the keys from teacher Caren Brady's purse when she turned her back to the class.

In order to operate the Dodge Caravan, he raised the driver's seat, lowered the steering wheel, adjusted the rearview mirror and turned off the radio.

"This is the smallest child you can ever imagine," said Brady, who noticed her vehicle missing a couple hours after school, according to the paper.

"I don't think this kid is 4 feet (1.22 meters) tall. He's tiny; he's the tiniest kid in the class."

The boy, whose identity was not released, was suspended from school, Brady said. Nothing was damaged and no one was hurt. Police said they would not charge him with a crime.

A neighbor saw the boy driving and called police. Officers found the van parked in front of the house, which is less than a mile from the school. They lectured the boy after interviewing him.

"You can't do anything but laugh," said Brady, who spent 90 minutes Tuesday teaching other pupils about the consequences of choices they make. She said she would not let the boy return to her class, according to the Bee.

[Pyser]

modesto is like the bizarre crime capital of the world.

[st.cronin]

In a few years that kid might be in this thread:

http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...29#post1116329

[Karlifornia]

"You can't do anything but laugh," said Brady, who spent 90 minutes Tuesday teaching other pupils about the consequences of choices they make. She said she would not let the boy return to her class, according to the Bee.

Did anyone else find the juxtaposition of these two sentences funny? I thought she couldn't do anything but laugh

[vex]

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

Did anyone else find the juxtaposition of these two sentences funny? I thought she couldn't do anything but laugh

Was thinking the same thing.

[Franklinnoble]

Am I the only one who expected another photoshopped video of the star wars kid in here?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Anybody here have a Dodge Caravan who could do a better job of speculating on something than I can?

After reading this story a couple of times, it strikes me as almost too cute to be true (although damned if I find much charm in an 8 year old car thief).

What tweaked me was realizing that this kid, as described, is almost certainly shorter than my son. And mine can't reach the pedals enough to work them comfortably on the little Indy Speedway cars at WDW, much less on a Caravan.

If this one did all the manipulations of the seat, steering wheel, etc., I'm not sure whether he could find a configuration that allowed him to simultaneously reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel. Think about it, if he raises the seat to see then he's also getting further away from the gas & the brake.

And if he left (as the story sort of seems to indicate) at the end of the school day (since they don't mention him ditching class or anything) then he probably ought to be in some race team's developmental driver program ... because anybody who has done the pick-up-kid-at-school routine lately knows that those are generally a circus.

I'd really like to know whether this kid has an older sibling or older neighbor kid or something. I can't definitively call bullshit on the current version, but it sure does have an aroma of some sort.

[Franklinnoble]

He tied boxes to his feet. Like Short Round.