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12-02-2006, 01:59 AM
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#1 | ||
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Amarillo, TX
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It's 1 AM - Do You Know Where My Wife Is?
Just wondering. I mean, she called me at work at 3:30 to let me know she was going "out with the girls" and would be home by 9 or so, then she was kind enough to call me at 9:30 and let me know she had stopped by the house to feed the dogs and my parents had called. So that's good. Of course, there was the small matter of that guy in the background hollering "Whooo! Take it off, bitch! Take it all off!" But she said that was just Kenny being Kenny, so that's all right, I guess. And then there was the call I got from her about an hour ago letting me know she was still at "the club". Which is fine.
Except it's a little curious to me that caller ID on the phone call specified that it was from "Jack". And when I mentioned the possibility of her being at "the club" after the 9:30 call to one of my staff members, she helpfully pointed out that "the club" in question was closed for renovation currently. So unless there's a heck of a tailgate party in the parking lot, I'm not sure how to reconcile those pieces of data. So, um, if any of you see my wife (remember, she's kind of like a hot 38DD version of Terrell Owens), let her know that I got home fine and I'll be in bed, okay? Thanks.  |
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12-02-2006, 02:20 AM
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#3 |
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Favored Bitch #1
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
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ummm, wow, i guess.
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12-02-2006, 02:33 AM
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#4 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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12-02-2006, 03:12 AM
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#5 | |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Morgan Hill, CA
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Quote:
well said
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Fan of SF Giants, 49ers, Sharks, Arsenal |
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12-02-2006, 04:35 AM
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#6 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
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I guess you can rule texas off the list of places i need to search for my dream girl. Anything relating to terrell owens in looks is a deal-breaker for me in a girl.
__________________
Underachievement The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower. Despair It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black. Demotivation Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people. http://www.despair.com/viewall.html |
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12-02-2006, 07:38 AM
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#7 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: East Anglia
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Does your wife hang out with this woman?
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Molon labe |
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12-02-2006, 07:45 AM
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#8 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Your wife left my place at 3am. She should be home by now.
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12-02-2006, 08:23 AM
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#9 |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Michigan
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Shes probably on her back.
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12-02-2006, 08:24 AM
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#10 | |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Michigan
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Quote:
Shes probably on her [i]way[i]back i mean...... |
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12-02-2006, 08:28 AM
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#11 |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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I saw her on her webcam site last night. Don't you check her webcam?
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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12-02-2006, 11:20 AM
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#12 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Amarillo, TX
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1. Don't post while drunk.
2. I wasn't worried so much as bemused at the fact she was out so late. 3. She wandered in at 5:30 this morning. 4. "Jack" is apparently married to "Carrie" whose cell phone my wife used to call me. 5. The club in question had been closed for remodeling, but had their reopening last night. 6. With an all-male revue. 7. Which Kenny enjoyed wholeheartedly, since he apparently sucks a whole mess o' dick. 8. Which I probably could have told you when I met him a while back. 9. As mentioned in the "How tall is your wife" thread a few months back, my sweetie has the prototypical size of an NFL wideout. About 6'2", 220#. 10. Which explains why I don't treat with skepticism her claim that she could kill 50 or so five year olds with her bare hands, as recounted in another famous thread from a few months back. 11. I have to go right now, since if spleen is being truthful in his account, she was apparently dissatisfied with his performance. 12. Which I probably could have told you when I read his posts a while back.  13. I'm glad to see Pumpy has moved from still photography to streaming video. Last edited by Shkspr : 12-02-2006 at 11:20 AM. |
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12-02-2006, 11:51 AM
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#13 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
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Quote:
Dude, when I pick up strange, big breasted women, it's all about getting mine. It is not important if they get their's. |
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12-02-2006, 12:58 PM
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#14 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
Fixed that for you 
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"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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12-02-2006, 01:07 PM
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#15 | |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Quote:
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. Last edited by Pumpy Tudors : 12-02-2006 at 01:51 PM. |
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12-02-2006, 01:12 PM
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#16 |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Mexico
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I wonder if Shkspr is married to Tanya. That would explain a lot.
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12-02-2006, 01:15 PM
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#17 | |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Tempe, AZ
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If anyone ever needs to explain to someone what this forum is all about, I would have to say this thread pretty much covers everything.
Wait, well except for FOF, but that is another forum section.
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Quote:
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12-02-2006, 02:27 PM
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#18 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Troy, Mo
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If my wife came home at 5:30am, shit would have hit the fan... but that's just me.
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12-02-2006, 02:39 PM
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#19 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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She said I'm going out with my girlfriends
maguaritas at the holiday inn oh mercy...my only thought was tequila makes her clothes fall off I told her put an extra layer on I know what happens when she drinks patron her closets missing half the things she bought tequila makes her clothes fall off ch....she'll start by kicking out of her shoes lose an earring in her drink leave her jacket in the bath room stall drop a contact down the sink them pantyhose ain't gonna last too long if the d j puts bon jovi on she might come home in a tablecloth tequila makes her clothes fall off she can handle any champaigne brunch bridal shower with bacardi punch jello shooters full of smirnoff... but tequila makes her clothes fall off chorus she don't mean nothing she's just having fun tomorrow she'll say oh what have I done her friends will joke about the stuff she lost cause tequila makes her clothes fall off
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"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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12-02-2006, 06:33 PM
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#20 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Troy, Mo
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.. and tequila will make me beat her ass.
 Last edited by MizzouRah : 12-02-2006 at 06:34 PM. |
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12-04-2006, 08:40 AM
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#21 | |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Quote:
Spleen: "I love me some me!"
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M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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12-04-2006, 09:24 PM
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#22 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Backwoods, SC
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1) Why did she call to say SHE was going out and not asking you to go out?
2) Tell the truth, did you check her panties this morning?...I'm betting you looked for special deposits |
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