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07-25-2008, 10:26 AM
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#1 | ||||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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Post your funniest/weirdest junk mail messages here
I've always wanted to start a list because I get some hilarious off the wall stuff. These aren't the funniest, but they're a start.
Man Grabs Sharrk With Hands; Blammes Vodka Schizzle my dazzle
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07-25-2008, 10:30 AM
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#2 |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Troy, Mo
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I blame tequilla for last night.
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07-25-2008, 10:52 AM
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#3 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Dr. Sak Ate My Balls
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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07-25-2008, 12:06 PM
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#4 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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Senator John Mccain Wishes To Have Sex With Model Heidi Klum
Horse kicks Ralph Lauren in stomach
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You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
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07-25-2008, 12:13 PM
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#5 | |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Mexico
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Quote:
What's funny/weird about that? Doesn't everybody? |
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07-25-2008, 12:18 PM
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#6 | |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Quote:
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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07-25-2008, 12:23 PM
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#7 |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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As I looked through mine, I just noticed that I have a couple of the Ralph Lauren ones, too. Now I'm laughing even harder.
Some of mine: Angelina Jolie Pregnancy.it Was All A Hoax! Jessica Alba slaps Britney in public School Board Adopts Gay-Ass Uniform Policy Mccain Sex Tape Surfaces Stupid man gets dildo stuck in anal
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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07-25-2008, 12:26 PM
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#8 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: In the thick of it.
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win
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I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon. |
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07-25-2008, 12:27 PM
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#9 |
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Bonafide Seminole Fan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Miami
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About last night
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Subby's favorite woman hater. |
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07-25-2008, 12:31 PM
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#10 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: speak to the trout
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CONGRATULATIONS!!! WINNER OF **£1,500,000 GBP**
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No signatures allowed. |
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07-25-2008, 12:48 PM
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#11 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Airliner crashes into mountain, authorities say plane was flying too low.
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I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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07-25-2008, 02:52 PM
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#12 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Troy, Mo
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Quote:
HAHA.. those are great! |
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07-25-2008, 04:40 PM
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#13 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
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Sergio Garcia Releases Sex Tape With rkmsuf
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07-25-2008, 04:43 PM
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#14 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ashburn, VA
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I don't have any specific ones, as I just cleared my spam folder before logging into FOFC, but I've noticed an influx of messages that insult me in their subject lines, a la "k.pilotte: you are stupid." Really, who would open something like that? My other "recent favorite" is the one that is from "Your Firewall Company" saying "Your Firewall Is in Critical Need of an Update." Um....yeah.
/tk
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GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin |
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07-28-2008, 08:22 AM
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#15 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Early, TX
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This isn't that hilarious, but for some reason, I got an email from Släktforskning, släktträd och släkthistoriska dokument på webben - Ancestry.se (Swedish version of Ancestry.com) the other day. It came right into my inbox, so apparantly it wasn't considered junkmail by gmail. It had my correct info and everything, although I couldn't read anything else, since I don't read Swedish.
The email actually got me thinking though. I started a thread over the weekend (that I don't think was responded to) in regard to getting info about my bio dad's birth parents. I wonder if the Swedes know something that I don't about my lineage.
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Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross Last edited by Schmidty : 07-28-2008 at 08:23 AM. |
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07-28-2008, 11:45 AM
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#16 | |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Quote:
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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07-28-2008, 11:45 AM
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#17 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
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Pumpy you look more Norwegian than Swedish.
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07-28-2008, 11:46 AM
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#18 | |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Quote:
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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07-28-2008, 11:49 AM
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#19 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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Boy breaks tooth from biting dog
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07-28-2008, 11:59 AM
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#20 | |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
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Quote:
Then you'll look Canadian! |
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07-28-2008, 12:01 PM
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#21 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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Madonnas Former Home Destroyed by Jesus
Playing poker prevents Alzheimer's Disease money is our god Police open fire on elderly in Iowa Last edited by Passacaglia : 07-28-2008 at 12:01 PM. |
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07-28-2008, 12:02 PM
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#22 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
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McDonald's Happy Meals In San Francisco To Include Gay Marriage License
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07-28-2008, 12:03 PM
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#23 | |
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Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Quote:
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
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07-28-2008, 05:36 PM
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#24 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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Breaking news: Aliens landed in Ohio.
Fakest big boobs alive FW: Is your skills about to expired? ID:77257 Tiffany accessories at never before prices Lindsey Lohan died in car crash. Video. planetary competitor Polar Bear Finds Yoga Great For Flexibility, But Murder On The Balls Shocking video of cute kitten Want to make love everywhere? Ask us how. wonder tic-tac Dark Knight disapproved by Vaticans due to satanic links
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Last edited by Rizon : 07-29-2008 at 11:26 AM. |
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07-28-2008, 06:59 PM
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#25 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2002
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I got a piece of spam the other day that told me I could impress my girl by adding two inches to my penis. Which is ridiculous, because what kind of girl would be impressed by a four inch penis?
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Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis |
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07-29-2008, 11:25 AM
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#26 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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Drunken man caught humping goat
Enjoy full bedroom life. is too much for one James Bond! Are you looking at me
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07-29-2008, 11:59 AM
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#27 | |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
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Quote:
I told Pumpy to look away from the camera. |
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07-29-2008, 12:00 PM
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#28 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Dr. Sak, post your junk.
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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07-29-2008, 06:45 PM
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#29 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ashburn, VA
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I've gotten this one three times today:
Subject: Shia LaBeouf arrested for child prostitution First line (GMail preview): Man caught eating remains of tiger How one goes with the other is beyond me. How Shia LaBeouf getting a DUI and admitting a drinking problem relates to child prostitution is beyond me. But hey, those spammers are really trying to get me to click. /tk
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GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin |
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07-29-2008, 06:53 PM
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#30 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: San Jose, CA
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That day I scuked my mom and fcuked her
best w hbk Sex garlic encounter ground. Tranny sex is depraved and you can see it all in our videos! Is this a male or a female? I cannot tell. Can you? Divorcement Justifications. Beasts Involved.
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Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com |
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07-30-2008, 10:22 AM
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#31 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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40歳以上で心も身体も癒やされたい方は[癒やし家]へお越し下さい。
ID:45251 Surprise her with the nicest bag in town Teen Barbie gets her ass fingered and fucked
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07-30-2008, 10:23 AM
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#32 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hog Country
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Polar Bear Finds Yoga Great For Flexibility, But Murder On The Balls would be a great band name.
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07-31-2008, 10:13 AM
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#33 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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Hey is it you in this video man??
Power-pack your pecker Seunsualicous massage
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08-01-2008, 08:16 PM
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#34 |
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High School Varsity
Join Date: Jun 2003
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"(My name), Atlantis is rising, but not without you!"
The rest in my current spambox are a bunch of the normal sex drivel.
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wbatl1 |
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08-03-2008, 12:49 PM
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#35 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Muskogee, OK USA
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No Study! Buy University Diploma/Degrees
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08-04-2008, 09:54 AM
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#36 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Release Of The Nancy Pelosi Sex Dvd Causes Mass Erectile Dysfunction In Us
Last edited by SteveMax58 : 08-04-2008 at 09:55 AM. |
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08-05-2008, 02:14 PM
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#37 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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For: ron Theodore Roosevelt Was A Gay Man
flabbergast upcome dessert upcome back Beat the world orgasm record For:ron Fat Chinese Man Kills And Eats Brother Because He Was Hungry Be the only macho man around. [ron] Courtney Love Vows To Wear Clothes lunchroom order ducat barycentric squashberry
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08-05-2008, 06:58 PM
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#38 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
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Congratulations you are a winner of 1,000,000 Pounds (One million pounds Sterling's Only). to claim your prize reply this email sending us your details.
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08-08-2008, 07:00 AM
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#39 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: speak to the trout
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BEST PRICE ! Buy Cialis, Viagra online NOW - and save 50% your money !!! Mon Jan 18, 2038
Where to Buy Cialis,Viagra Online?- Mon Jan 18, 2038 Buy Cialis, Viagra online at lowest prices! Mon Jan 18, 2038 Order Cheap Cialis Now! Easy Ordering Process, Cheapest Cialis Mon Jan 18, 2038 Apparently on Monday January 18, 2038, I'm going to have an issue.
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No signatures allowed. |
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08-08-2008, 08:48 AM
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#40 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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lurker got one the other day that said:
Sarah Jessica Parker arrested for gross negligee Last edited by Passacaglia : 08-08-2008 at 08:48 AM. |
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08-08-2008, 08:55 AM
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#41 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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And in my spam folder:
We fix your organism F.B.I. are spying on your Facebook profiles iPhone 3g bugs cause recall of stock [audio] Hillary receives 3 A.M. phone call from drunken Bill Clinton |
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08-08-2008, 09:06 AM
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#42 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Schwarzenegger Admits Starting California Wildfires
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08-08-2008, 09:37 AM
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#43 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
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That pesky Arnold!! lol.
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08-15-2008, 07:54 AM
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#44 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
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msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Bush, Cheney To Co-Star In "Flip This White House"
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08-15-2008, 12:25 PM
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#45 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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[ron] Batman Movie Sparks Real Crime Spree
Blowjobs gerls Bodyguards Positioned Outside Jolies Vagina Check out Bling Bling watches Christmas Replica Watches Xmas watches? Did you get in today? Obviously Elena 1983 years old College Corner, Ohio Too old for me! Grow bigger in her eyes. That might hurt! Invade her. Is her name Georgia? 'Monster Pig' Not a Hoax, Not Feral Either msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: [video] If Barack Obama Is an Oreo, What Is John McLaughlin? msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: 6 Ways Airlines Could Make Some Serious Money of You IT'S PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOPLE!!!! msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Bush Finally Reads Job Description msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Damien Hirst pickles business manager Pix plz msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Japanese Prime Minister denies World War 2 ever took place Tall, Busty Afro-Latina In San Francisco Seeking Travelling Irish Man Surrey Vixen tries out her new dildos on Hillarys tight pussy
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08-21-2008, 06:06 PM
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#46 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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[ron] John Edwards Admits Fathering Clay Aiken's Baby
Britney Spears Confession: 'I'm the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby!' Britney Spears to Join British Army Dating girls 39-27 years 0ld Have you enjoyed yesterday? msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: [audio] Catholic Church Condemns Metrosexuality msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: McDonald's Happy Meals In San Francisco To Include Gay Marriage License msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Mike Tyson To Fight Michael Jackson msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Unemployed To Be Used For Soup Stephen Hawking defends Paris Hilton sex allegations
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08-26-2008, 10:34 AM
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#47 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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Celebrities drinking and puking
No Paris Hilton News Becomes Paris Hilton News With Gary Gnu? Paris Hilton avoids jail in last minute deal. Governor Schwarzenegger resigns in protest. Paris Hilton tosses dwarf on the street Paris Hilton violated by Gypsies We have hijacked your baby
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08-27-2008, 07:19 AM
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#48 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: speak to the trout
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Ashley Madison - Meet Married Women Looking Tonight-Life is short. Have an Affair
Given her history here, I had to chuckle at that one.
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No signatures allowed. |
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08-27-2008, 10:23 AM
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#49 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
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msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Army Relent On Shooting Live Pigs In Training Exercise - Will Shoot Illegal Immigrants Instead
msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Stock Markets Close As Global Earth World Planet International Buys All Shares Finalists in Britney Spears Sex Video Contest Chosen YouBll certainly feel much more manly |
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09-17-2008, 10:11 AM
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#50 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
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Airline to Replace Oxygen Masks with Pistols
Aliens Deny Impregnating Paris Hilton Goodiest offer Grow fat dicks for yourself horses for loan I Want to Pork a Hilton ID:04748 Surprise her with the nicest bag in town Paris Hilton's Bust Goes Missing Police: Man Liccks Woman's Feet At WWal-Mart Refinance your ARM today Sorry...Lost Your Sport!! turn your member into a leader Woman Fined For Throwing Leettucce Out Of Car
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