OT: Funny ESPN article (the Bengals are such an easy target)

[Franklinnoble]

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/immerman/030423.html

I especially enjoyed:

MIKE: Oh man, Big Daddy sure was a major disappointment. It's too bad because he had such tremendous upside.

BOB: Yeah, but it was his tremendous backside that was the problem. I'm telling you, the guy had more pounds strapped to his butt than Nate Newton at the Tijuana border.

And...

MARVIN: I don't know. Can someone please just read me Palmer's scouting report.

MIKE: Let's see, he has great mechanics ... prototypical size ... surprising mobility ... and excellent arm strength.

MIKE: Wow, he reminds me a little too much of our 1992 colossal bust of a draft pick, David Klingler, or as he was affectionately known around here, "The Other White Meat." All that potential and a mere 33 games and 16 touchdowns. Every time I think of that draft I bawl like Dick Vermeil during a Lifetime original movie.

MARVIN: Was he really that big of a bomb?

MIKE: Put it this way, it's now a federal offense to scream "Klingler" aboard an aircraft.

Also...


MARVIN: .... how about running back? Willis McGahee just had a phenomenal workout. Maybe he's worth the risk if he falls to us in the second round.

BOB: I've got three words for you, Marvin: Ki-Jana Carter.

MIKE: Now that selection was simply a debacle from Day One. I suppose it was a bad omen when Ki-Jana's bobblehead doll prototype came back from the manufacturer complete with glazed, vacant eyes and a torn ACL.

MARVIN: He was a No. 1 pick and such a spectacular back in college, though. I'm sure you at least got some value for him on the open market.

MIKE: Oh yeah. Absolutely. If I recall correctly, I think we got a new tackling dummy and Brian Bosworth's Direct-to-Video Box Set ... and believe you me, Brian Bosworth is to acting what Mariah Carey is to ... acting.

MARVIN: So let me get this straight: Between 1992 and 1995 you had two No. 1 overall draft picks and ended up with David Klingler, Dan Wilkinson, and Ki-Jana Carter, all of whom were flameouts of biblical proportions. It begs the question, what kind of scouting and talent evaluation system were you employing?

[ice4277]

Don't let Shorty see this.

[mckerney]

Shorty only gets mad if Kodos posts it. I put up the fake article about Carson Palmer offering the Bengals several million dollars not to take him and he didn't seem to care.

[ice4277]

I know, I mistakenly left a off the end of my post. So consider my last post 'd.