So I got divorced yesterday

[Ron Mexico]

Title pretty much says it all. Although the process was fairly straightforward (no kids, etc), I'm still left in a position where I just want to make sure I protect my own interests going forward. Haven't posted a ton, but have lurked forever and I know there's a diverse talent pool here, so hoping for some advice/opinions.

I've heard some cases about the ex suing for alimony, sometimes years after the divorce is final. Now, all told we're not looking at a huge amount of time together (just over 7 years), but there was a fairly significant difference in income between my ex and I (about 50%). While I'm certainly not a millionaire by any stretch, I've been aggressive about saving for my retirement and I know she well....hasn't. Also, while I hate to even consider it, my parents are in somewhat poor health and represent an estate much larger than my own and multitudes of her family. And no, I didn't sign a prenup. Didn't quite expect this back then.

To that effect, and what started as just the means to protect myself just in case, I kept a file of anything that may have been pertinent to our divorce (e-mails, texts, bank statements, etc etc). I would like nothing more than to frankly shred every last bit of it, as I'm honestly in a better place now than I ever could have imagined months ago when this whole process first started. Not sure it's the right move though. Would any of this even matter in a no-fault state like NJ?

Also, I have the both wedding bands and the engagement ring in my safe deposit box. Any thoughts on the prospects of holding on to them to sell later versus unloading them now? I figure diamonds, gold, etc will appreciate in value, but compared to other investments? Is there a better option to sell than going through a jeweler? I'm not exactly enthused about the idea of Craigslist or anything of that ilk.

All that being said, I wouldn't wish this whole process on my worst enemy. To anyone who divorced with kids in the equation, etc. I tip my cap to you for the strength there's no doubt it must have taken. For me? Today marks the first day I've been "single" (not counting the time we were separated as I still felt like I needed to hold up my end of the bargain) since I was 16. I'll be 33 in May but feeling better than I ever have. Here's to whatever the hell lies beyond.

[Swaggs]

No advice or answers to your questions (all good ones), but wanted to wish you good luck on your "new chapter."

[TheOhioStateUniversity]

I don't believe the evidence will be of any significance in a no fault state. My mother went through something similar with her ex-husband (me ex-stepfather, I guess) a few years ago and was in possession of emails, bathhouse cards, etc...However, Ohio is a no fault state, so it was irrelevant to the courts.

[Edward64]

Haven't been thru this so don't have much to contribute. But good luck to you over the next several months.

[Radii]

No idea on any advice. I'd keep the documentation, it'd make me feel better. You can keep it in the back of a file cabinet where you don't have to see it anyway.

Other than that, congrats!

[Marc Vaughan]

No constructive advise to add - but good luck for your future ...

[saldana]

i went through the entire deal (kids included) several years ago. rather than just divide up your stuff, get a property settlement drafted by an attorney and have it filed.

we didnt argue or fight over anything, but the settlement document outlined exactly who got what in terms of property and money, and there is a clause in it that says we each forfeit any future claims to anything that happens in the future.

so even if she gets fired or i hit the lottery, she can never ask for a dime.

hang in there...i am happy to hear that you are doing well, but trust me when i say you will be on a roller coaster.

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by saldana

but the settlement document outlined exactly who got what in terms of property and money, and there is a clause in it that says we each forfeit any future claims to anything that happens in the future.

Great piece of advice here and like others just want to wish you the best in the hext chapter of your life.

[path12]

Been there. It works out.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by saldana

i went through the entire deal (kids included) several years ago. rather than just divide up your stuff, get a property settlement drafted by an attorney and have it filed.

we didnt argue or fight over anything, but the settlement document outlined exactly who got what in terms of property and money, and there is a clause in it that says we each forfeit any future claims to anything that happens in the future.

so even if she gets fired or i hit the lottery, she can never ask for a dime.

hang in there...i am happy to hear that you are doing well, but trust me when i say you will be on a roller coaster.

Originally Posted by BYU 14

Great piece of advice here and like others just want to wish you the best in the hext chapter of your life.

Great advice. I did the same thing and now have peace of mind.

[Desnudo]

Specifically to the financial - I would talk to an attorney and see what your options are to shelter or shield your assets. Basically I would plan ahead to the day when you get hit up because human nature being what is getting hit up seems likely (no offense intended towards your ex).

[Ron Mexico]

Originally Posted by saldana

i went through the entire deal (kids included) several years ago. rather than just divide up your stuff, get a property settlement drafted by an attorney and have it filed.

we didnt argue or fight over anything, but the settlement document outlined exactly who got what in terms of property and money, and there is a clause in it that says we each forfeit any future claims to anything that happens in the future.

so even if she gets fired or i hit the lottery, she can never ask for a dime.

hang in there...i am happy to hear that you are doing well, but trust me when i say you will be on a roller coaster.

Thanks for the tip on the settlement agreement. We had one and I have the copy with all my other legal docs in my safe box. That was so early on in the process that I probably glossed right over it or at least any language future-proofing the document. I realize in hindsight these were things I know I should have verified before the final judgement of divorce, but better late than never. Do I expect her to ever pull a stunt like that? No. But if there's so much as the tiniest loophole, I want to at least know it exists so I won't be blindsided by it years from now.

For months, I just wanted the process to wrap up and let that be that. It was that moment after with the final judgement in hand where the initial sigh of relief was immediately followed by "let me just make sure..." Even uncontested, the court process for us started in August and didn't finally wrap up til Monday.

I think I'm going to keep that file I alluded to as well. Just in case.

Also want to say thanks to everyone for the support. Greatly appreciated.

[spleen1015]

Good luck R-Mex!