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05-02-2003, 06:50 PM
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#1 | ||
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The Bill Gates Challenge, Part IV: The Lords Of The Rings?
Somewhere, deep in the heart of Texas, a man sat alone in a darkened room, his face illuminated only by the flickering light from the television. Though the clock on the VCR did not even read noon yet, he had already been there for hours, watching old game films of past greats: Unitas. Montana. Favre. Young. Elway. Marino.
Impatiently, he hit the rewind button and watched the play unfold again. "How on earth does he release the ball so fast?" he muttered to nobody. Soon it would be time to go lift weights again, which he would follow up with some conditioning and then with some light throwing; afterward, it would be back to the film studies until well into the night, breaking down his every play from the previous season -- all except for that last play, which even now he couldn't quite bring himself to watch. Though the fateful interception had been thrown months ago by now, the gnawing feeling inside that had come immediately after the errant throw had not yet dissipated at all. Truth be told, it had only gotten worse. Training camp would be starting soon, but for him, the season could not come quickly enough. He hit rewind again, all the while knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that sometimes in life there is no rewind button. ============================================= Ninety miles away, a wrinkled and stubborn old man sat behind his desk and plotted his revenge... |
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05-02-2003, 06:54 PM
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#2 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Links to previous installments of The Bill Gates Challenge!
Part I: In The Beginning... Part II: Don't Mess With Texas! Part III: A New Hope Enjoy!  |
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05-03-2003, 07:10 PM
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#3 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Not too far away
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Well I just read this saga and I must say I enjoyed it a great deal. It deserves every accolade every heaped on it.
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05-03-2003, 10:40 PM
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#4 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks, Barkeep! Have you read all the way through Volume VII?
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05-04-2003, 09:20 AM
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#5 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Not too far away
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No I just read what was posted here... Volume VII? Sheesh that's a lot more reading I have left to do. Are you going to be posting those here too or should I, *shutter*, explore the old board?
Last edited by Barkeep49 : 05-04-2003 at 09:21 AM. |
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05-04-2003, 04:35 PM
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#6 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I'd be quicker to check out the old board. It could be weeks before I finish reposting...
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05-12-2003, 06:45 PM
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#7 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Vince:
There is nothing to be said to the reinstatement of this thread other than Hell Yeah! |
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05-12-2003, 06:46 PM
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#8 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by robbgmaier:
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05-12-2003, 06:46 PM
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#9 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
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05-12-2003, 06:47 PM
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#10 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks, guys! My hiatus ended up going longer than intended (that NCAA 2002 is pretty addictive!), but I will try to get this thing going again between games. Thanks for your continued support!
ONWARD GATESVILLE! |
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05-12-2003, 06:47 PM
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#11 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by swivel1000:
This has been the single greatest FOF thread i have ever read! My roommates think im a weirdo because i cant stop laughing about some of the stuff that is going on keep up the excellent work! -matt |
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05-12-2003, 06:47 PM
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#12 | |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Quote:
Sadly, no. If there had been, I'd surely be too tired to type. And boy would my girlfriend ever be pissed! |
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05-12-2003, 06:48 PM
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#13 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by revrew:
"The reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated." -- Kodos We're back on the air, baby! Good to see Gatesville back in action. |
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05-12-2003, 06:48 PM
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#14 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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"The greatest test of courage on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart." - R.G. Ingersoll
"My cat's breath smells like cat food." - Ralphie Wiggins 2013 Offseason Coming off of our Super Bowl loss at the hands of the Bengals, a few things seemed obvious to us: 1. In 2013, we needed to bring in some competition at halfback for Lazetti, who simply did not get the job done in 2012. 2. We needed to secure the homefield advantage throughout the playoffs if we had serious aspirations about winning a Super Bowl. 3. If we wanted to get the homefield, we needed get off to a faster start in the regular season, rather than losing early games and having to win lots of games down the stretch. After looking around at the rest of the league, Bill and I both came to the conclusion that we were the odds-on favorites to win the 2013 Super Bowl. In our minds, anything less than winning the Big Game would be considered a Big Failure. If 2013 were to unfold as planned, then we would truly be "The Lords of the Rings" (Super Bowl rings, that is). Coaching/Scouting Changes Coach Gibson and lead scout Cory Wells are still under contract. 2013 Ticket Prices Having now outperformed our intrastate rivals for years on the playing field and having finally overtaken them in terms of attendance percentage, Bill and I decided that it was finally time to go ahead and match the Cowboys' ticket prices.
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05-12-2003, 06:49 PM
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#15 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Free Agency Period
We were able to re-sign all-pro kicker Broderick Hidalgo, but it wasn't cheap. His contract was a 3-year deal worth $7.86 million, including a $1.44 million bonus. Starting center Jonathan Farmer re-negotiated his deal, signing for $14.9 million over 3 years with a healthy $2.7 million bonus. Starting WILB Allen Whitfield got an $11.43 million deal over 3 years with a hefty $3.5 million bonus. Starting strong safety Billy Joe Shannon signed a 3-year deal worth $5.81 million over 3 years, with a paltry $200,000 bonus, for which we were grateful. Starting left tackle Terrance Read signed a 4-year contract worth $28.13 million, with a $4.5 million bonus. Cowboy Hunting This offseason, there were no Cowboys worthy of stealing away, which was fortunate, since we had no money to steal them with anyhow. Next year, we should have a little more money to throw around, but this year money is definitely tight. Judging by the Cowboys' performance in 2012, we would be better off letting the Boys keep all of their players indefinitely anyhow... |
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05-12-2003, 06:49 PM
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#16 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Draft
We came into the 2013 draft with 9 picks broken down as follows: 1st Round: no pick 2nd Round: 33rd 3rd Round: 12th, 31st, 32nd, and 33rd 4th Round: 23rd, 31st, and 33rd 5th Round: 31 Our goal was to find some guys to compete with Lazetti for the starting position at halfback. To our delight, Herb Matthews, a 5'9" 243 pound RB out of Oklahoma State with good hands and good endurance rated at 5.6/5.9 overall was still on the board at pick 33 of the 2nd Round, and we pounced on him. For good measure, we followed up the Matthews pick with another RB, this time Tommy Douglas out of Eastern Kentucky. After that, we looked to fill in holes and provide depth on defense and on our offensive line. Here is how the rest of our draft went: Amateur Draft Report: Rnd 2 - Herb Matthews, RB, Oklahoma State Rnd 3 - Tommy Douglas, RB, Eastern Kentucky Rnd 3 - Rob Stanton, G, Columbia Rnd 3 - Patrick Sanders, DT, Rice Rnd 3 - Mike Eagle, CB, Texas Tech Rnd 4 - Sean Kaplan, WR, Florida Rnd 4 - Ben Mathis, C, Kentucky Rnd 4 - Butch Johnston, LB, Texas Christian Rnd 5 - Donny Gunn, FB, Nicholls State |
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05-12-2003, 06:49 PM
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#17 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Post-Draft Moves
Following the draft, we sent backup RB Cedric Horton to Des Moines in exchange for a 3rd Round pick in 2014, saving $1.38 million in the process. Gabe Sims, another backup RB, was sent to Buffalo for a 4th Round pick, saving us $850,000 with which to sign our new draftees. |
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05-12-2003, 06:50 PM
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#18 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Training Camp
This camp, we maxed out the following formations on offense: I Strong Singleback Goal On defense, we concentrated on maxing out the 4-3 and the Nickel packages, while setting Man-to-Man and Zone coverage at just past the halfway mark. 3-4 and Dime were minimized. The good news coming out of camp was that neither of our newly-drafted RBs busted, so Lazetti will have some competition this year. Below is how the rest of the team looked following training camp. As usual, our D-line is an area of glaring weakness...  From the desk of Cory Wells of the Gatesville Silicon Pirates:
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05-12-2003, 06:50 PM
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#19 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Season Ticket Sales
Well, despite the ticket price increase, we only lost 800 season ticket holders, falling from 27,000 in 2012 to 26,200 this year. Not too bad, and hopefully they will come see the games anyway when we start kicking some ass! |
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05-12-2003, 06:50 PM
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#20 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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This Isn't Supposed To Be A Popularity Contest - It's Supposed To Be Football!
For the first time in Gatesville history, two of our home-grown players have become fan favorites. Inexplicably, Lazetti gained a "solid" fan base after his worst season ever, while much less surprisingly, Berg also garned a "solid" score with the fans. Though cult-favorite Chuck U. Farley attracted the most rabid fans, revrew's write-in campaign ultimately failed, as Farley did not attract enough general fan support to rate any more popular than the average Joe Schmuck. Ah well, maybe next year, Chuck... You can still make the pulses race among the geriatric crowd! |
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05-12-2003, 06:51 PM
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#21 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Exhibition Season
This exhibition season was more important than most for two reasons. First, we had to gauge who should be our starter at RB come opening day. Also, this preseason, our starters would see more action than in previous years in hopes of helping us come out of the gates fast in the regular season. 2013 Exhbition Results We had a good preseason, winning all of our games. Of course, some wins were more impressive than others. But, we felt we would have good momentum heading into the regular season. We exacted a small amount of revenge on Cincy, but there will be more to come later (if they make it)!
2013 Exhibition Standings We beat the Cowboys even in their favorite time of the year - the exhibition season, when they can actually win games.
The Running Back Race Here is how the RBs fared during the exhibition games: Lazetti, the incumbent, ran 28 times for 114 yards and a 4.07 yard average. Herb Matthews ran the ball 26 times for 98 yards and a 3.77 yard average. Tommy Douglas got injured, and only carried the ball 12 times for 55 yards and a 4.58 yard average. Based on these results, and the fact that Douglas is still recovering from his sprained ankle, Lazetti will be our starter come opening day, but Matthews will see plenty of action as his backup. Although Lazetti is our starter for now, all three backs will have the opportunity to become the man this season. Injuries WR Rickey McGregor has a broken finger and will miss a couple weeks. Backup center Bubba Linquist has a sprained neck and will miss a couple weeks too. Rookie RB Tommy Douglas should be back from his ankle sprain in a couple weeks as well. BRING ON THE REGULAR SEASON! GO PIRATES!!! WHO'S COMING WITH US?!? IT'S SUPER BOWL OR BUST, FOLKS!!! ALL ABOARD!!!  |
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05-12-2003, 06:51 PM
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#22 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
I've got my seat warm and my beer cold! Bring it on! Yahoo! Another season of Pirates! |
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05-12-2003, 06:53 PM
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#23 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Okay, taking a bit of a timeout here to get people's thoughts:
Does anybody actually care about contract negotiations and stuff like that? I could see how that stuff would be very skippable/uninteresting for people to read about. Should I continue to include contract info, or drop it to make my dynasty a little sleeker? Any thoughts? Thanks! Also, I'm thinking of doing this year in a play one game, write it up, play the next, write it up fashion so I don't know what's coming any more than you do. Usually I do the whole season ahead of time and then write things up later. Would it be more interesting if I go game by game as they happen? Thanks! The only problem with this is that I like to get on track and get in a groove or whatever, and doing it this way would ruin that. Plus, the superstitious side of me tells me if I'm on a roll, keep simming, cuz when I come back, the computer may be in a less charitable mood... Anyhow, let me know what you think about these things if you care to. Have a good weekend everyone, and go Rams (I don't really have a favorite team (damn Dave Wannstedt/Jimmy Johnson for ruining my Dolphins  ) at the moment, but they are my favorite team that's left)!!!- Kodos |
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05-12-2003, 06:54 PM
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#24 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Shorty3281:
I too have my seat warmed and my non-alcoholic champagne in hand. |
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05-12-2003, 06:54 PM
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#25 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Hey Shorty, don't forget about O'Douls! We have one vendor at Microsoft Stadium who sells it. The good news is that he almost never sells out...
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05-12-2003, 06:55 PM
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#26 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Shorty3281:
Ahh yes. Microsoft Stadium has it all, doesn't it? That is, except for VR seats and what have you. I like reading the contract stuff. And I think it might be good, if you did week by week - that's how I did my dynasty when I had one and I thought it really was easier to express satisfaction or disappoint than going back and trying to have remembered the big win.. But whatever flys your plane.. Or is float? Hehe, um, whatever you are comfortable the most with then just do that, whether it be the usual or a little change of style. It's your dynasty. |
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05-12-2003, 06:55 PM
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#27 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by CK#12:
I like the contract stuff as well. It gives the story more background. Don't mind how you do the write ups as long as they keep coming. |
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05-12-2003, 06:56 PM
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#28 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by revrew:
The rest is interesting enough that the negotiations aren't distracting. But you can keep it narrowed to release and resign of well-known and/or quality guys. Bring on the season! (Rumors from a secret compound, not so unlike the one previously found in Gatesville, nestled in a quiet cornfield in the middle of nowhere, suggest that a certain Pirate tight end is due for a double digit TD season...) |
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05-12-2003, 06:56 PM
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#29 | |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Quote:
Yeah. I used to include all the transactions, but now I try to limit it to starters. As for the season, you'll have to wait at least another day. I didn't get to play any games this weekend. Maybe tomorrow... |
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05-12-2003, 06:57 PM
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#30 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Dexter McNeil Update
I forgot to mention earlier, Richmond tried to re-sign Dexter McNeil in free agency, but in week 6 they busted the cap. The Colts then signed McNeil to a 2 year, $21.19 million deal with a $5.12 bonus. We'll have to see if he fares any better in Indy than he did in Richmond... |
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05-12-2003, 06:57 PM
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#31 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Regular Season Schedules
Here are the schedules for ourselves and our buddies from over in Dallas, complete with the records of each opponent in 2012: Gatesville:
Dallas:
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05-12-2003, 06:57 PM
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#32 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2013 Starters
Offensive Starters: Our entire starting offense from 2012 has returned to start in 2013. Hopefully, this is good news. QB - Devin Bergeron RB - Michael Lazetti FB - Levon Wallace TE - Chuck U. Farley FL - Earl Thornton SE - Ralph Randle LT - Terrance Read LG - Rusty Pleasant C - Jonathan Farmer RG - Darren Cruise RT - James Pond Defensive Starters: As usual, our chronically weak defensive line is made up of rookies. We need some cohesion, folks! Please! LE - Patrick Sanders (R) NT - Joey Rhoades RT - Eric Cash RE - Frankie Farley (R) WOLB - Maurice Rousseau (R) WILB - Allen Whitfield SILB - Timothy Meadows SOLB - Al Ingram LCB - Joel Harden RCB - Edgar Justus FS - Dave Sanders SS - Billy Joe Shannon Coming tomorrow: Game 1 at the Denver Broncos. See you then, folks! Chuck U.'s bid for double-digit TDs begins NOW! CHUCK! U.! FARLEY! |
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05-12-2003, 06:58 PM
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#33 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by robbgmaier:
is right DE Frankie "Goes to Hollywood" Farley any relation to our beloved TE? |
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05-12-2003, 06:58 PM
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#34 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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No, but he is a second cousin of Chris Farley, and is the spitting image of him.
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05-12-2003, 06:59 PM
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#35 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
You know, regarding your question, about playing while posting, or playing a whole year then posting thing. I was wondering the same thing myself. For some reason, I like to play a small chunk (a week, a month), then write up the stuff. Makes me feel like I have to tell the story as it happens. I have yet to play a whole year then write up the story. Might be interesting to try. As for the contracts, etc. I think the key is that you balance that type of info with story so well that the entire dynasty is fun to read. When I read the story I get so interested that I want to look at the stats, rosters, etc., in more detail. If people don't want to bother with them, they can skip over them, so I would say leave them in. I bet the majority of readers like them! Good luck this year. I am glad to see you have at least one monster on your defensive line this year. Let Rhoades plug that middle! |
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05-12-2003, 07:00 PM
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#36 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 1
Gatesville (0-0) at Denver (0-0) ============================================= Game Summary: The 2013 season kicked off for us when Broderick Hidalgo sent one sailing to the Broncos. After a few first downs, we shut them down, and took over on our own 17 after the punt return. Berg hit second year flanker Earl Thornton for 34 and 18 yard receptions during an 8-play drive that culminated in a Berg rushing touchdown from one yard out to give us a 7-0 lead in the first. Following a Hidalgo field goal that made it 10-0, the Broncos responded with a 69-yard drive that saw Marty Petrovich complete 7 passes in a row, with the final completion being a 10-yard touchdown reception by Jack Hartman. With the lead a scant 10-7, Berg and the offense took the field with the ball on the 40. A 34-yard reception by Lazetti highlighted a 5-play drive that ended with a 13-yard Ty Robbins receiving touchdown. Just like that, we were up 17-7. We finished the half with 2 more Hidalgo field goals and went into the lockerroom with a 23-7 lead. The second half saw Berg hit fullback Levon Wallace for a TD and also saw Joel Harden return a Marty Petrovich pass 32 yards for a score. When all was said and done, we had come out on top with an impressive 40-7 win over the defending AFC West champion Broncos. Not a bad way to start off the season, folks! Key Performers: Berg started off the season by winning the Game MVP award. All told, he completed 21 of 31 passes for 339 yards, 2 TDs, and 1 interception. In addition, he ran the ball 10 times for 76 yards and a touchdown. Lazetti, who got the starting nod over rookie Herb Matthews, gained 48 yards on 10 carries, while also catching 2 balls for 54 yards. Unfortunately, Lazetti did cough up the ball once to mar an otherwise decent performance. Herb Matthews ran the ball 3 times for 4 yards to get off to an inauspicious start for his NFL career. He also managed 1 catch for 11 yards. Earl Thornton had a very productive day, catching 8 passes for 131 yards. Chuck Farley caught 5 balls for 66 yards. Ty Robbins had 3 receptions for 49 yards and 1 TD. Joel Harden made 2 tackles, which seems unimpressive until you consider that he also returned an interception for a touchdown and recovered a fumble. ============================================= The Farley Watch: Chuck U. has zero receiving touchdowns so far. ============================================= Washington (0-0) at Dallas The Cowboys started off 2013 with an unfortunate 23-0 victory over the Skins. Could Jerry's promise to have a winning season possibly come true?  Tune in tomorrow for our visit to Veteran's Stadium in Philly! Down with the Eagles! |
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05-12-2003, 07:01 PM
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#37 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Vince:
Woo-hoo! Go Gatesville! I'm with Shorty, hounding that O'Douls guy for one more season at least (if you're still on this season by June, I might just illegally move on to the other stuff anyways ), cheering on the Pirates in their Super Bowl run! Glad to see you back Kodos!By the by, I'm with everyone else...I like the contract info...like 'zilla said, you mix it all in nicely so you don't get all glazed over when you bring up the contract info. |
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05-12-2003, 07:02 PM
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#38 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by revrew:
Farley watch: 5 for 66. Glad to see him making a big contribution. We're looking for all-pro honors this year. No touchdowns, however? Throwing a ball to a fullback at the goalline? Whassup wit dat? Word from the compound is that if Farley doesn't grab 10 tuddies....it's a government conspiracy I tell you! Just like they did to that other Gatesville compound! Conspiracy! But, soft, the season is yet young. Me thinks I dost protest too much. |
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05-12-2003, 07:02 PM
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#39 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 2
Gatesville (1-0) at Philly (1-0) ============================================= Game Summary: A 6-yard Lazetti touchdown run and and 5 Hidalgo field goals gave us a 22-10 victory after we took a 13-10 lead at the half. Our offense made a disturbing habit out of bogging down in the red zone with poor running and then settling for field goals. Key Stats: Hidalgo earned the Game MVP award by going 5 for 5 on field goal attempts of 20, 23, 32, 41, and 42 yards. Could be another record-breaking year for Hidalgo if we don't get better in the red zone. Lazetti had a good day, gaining 74 yards on 18 carries and scoring one rushing TD. He also caught 4 passes for 58 yards. Herb Matthews improved on his opening day numbers, but not dramatically. 9 carries, 19 yards. 1 catch, 13 yards. Rookie RB Tommy Douglas will be back from injury next week and will get a chance to show that he can do better. Berg completed 20 of 36 attempts for 298 yards with no TDs or interceptions. Farley made 1 catch for 33 yards. Thornton had 4 catches for 81 yards. ============================================= The Farley Watch: 99 receiving yards, no touchdowns. ============================================= Seattle (1-0) at Dallas (1-0) The Cowboys extended their record to 2-0 with a 28-24 victory over the Seahawks. I hope this is not a pattern I see forming here... |
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05-12-2003, 07:02 PM
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#40 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 3
Gatesville (2-0) at Arizona (0-2) ============================================= Game Summary: We came into our third straight road game looking to extend our winning streak to 3 games against an Arizona squad that had pretty much dominated the series until last season, when we swept them on our way to winning the NFC East. Luckily for us, this Cardinals team no longer enjoyed the services of veteran QB Marshall "Marshall Marshall" Brady. In his place were 3 unproven QBs, so it looked to be a very winable game for us coming in. Things started off on a bad note when Bruce Klemm ran in a score from 9 yards out to give the hometown fans something to cheer about and to give the Cardinals a 7-0 lead in the first quarter. However, we were able to answer with an 11-yard Lazetti run to tie up the score before the second quarter came around. In the second quarter, Berg connected with Rickey McGregor (fresh off the inactive list) for an 8-yard touchdown that gave us a 14-7 advantage. Two David Ledyard field goals before the half sent us into the lockerroom with a 14-13 lead. The third quarter saw our lead disappear altogether when a Berg pass was intercepted by Brian Shinkle and returned 43 yards to paydirt. After a failed 2-point conversion, the scoreboard read 19-13 in Arizona's favor. After a Hidalgo field goal cut their lead to 19-16, Berg found split end Ralph Randle for a 7 yarder that put us on top again. The score remained at 22-19 after we missed on a 2-point conversion attempt. In the final quarter, Berg hooked up with Randle to score again, this time from 9 yards out. At the end of the day, we had won 29-19, and had pushed our record to 3-0. Key Performers: Lazetti had a disappointing day. Outside of the one 11-yard touchdown run, Lazetti had 8 rushes for 3 yards. He also caught 3 passes for 33 yards. He will not be the starter next week when we play host to the Chargers. Berg had an off day, completing just 17 of 36 passes for 266 yards, 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. He also fumbled once. However, unlike Lazetti, a poor performance does not mean Berg gets sent to the bench. Ralph Randle made the most out of his 3 catches, scoring 2 touchdowns while gaining 36 yards. Chuck Farley's touchdown drought continued, though he had 4 catches for 44 yards. Al Ingram reminded us of the "Big Al" of old with his 12 tackles and 1 assist. It would be great if Al had a resurgence this year, especially when you consider all of the injuries to our linebacking corps this game (see below). Free safety Dave Sanders made 6 tackles, which he supplemented with 1 interception and 1 fumble recovery. Key Injuries: As I alluded to above, this game had a bad effect on our linebacking corps. Starting WILB Allen Whitfield suffered a sprained neck and will miss 3-5 weeks. Starting WOLB Maurice Rousseau hyperextended his knee and will also miss 3-5 weeks. I won't even mention the backup linebacker who decided to join the injury parade...  To keep the good news coming, starting fullback Levon Wallace sprained his ankle and will miss (say it with me) 3-5 weeks. Finally, starting LCB Joel Harden has a hip pointer and will be unavailable for 3-5 weeks (why break a trend?). ============================================= The Farley Watch: Well, Chuck U. added 44 yards to his 2013 receiving total, which puts him at 143 yards through three games. He has yet to score his first touchdown. Using some complicated mathematics equations and sophisticated computer models, I can tell you that if you project his performance over the course of the season, you will find that he should finish with approximately 750 yards and ... oh ... zero touchdowns. Just a bit shy of his projected total of 10. Come on, Chuck! We need your head to be in these games! Rue McClanahan will still be there at the end of the season! ============================================= Dallas (2-0) at Atlanta (2-0) This battle of undefeated teams left the Cowboys a couple touchdowns short of a victory. Final score: 34-20, Falcons. Good job, boys! We are now alone atop the NFC East at 3-0. Next up --> the San Diego Super Chargers! See you tomorrow, folks! |
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05-12-2003, 07:03 PM
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#41 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
Those injuries, Kodos. They're just flesh wounds! No problem! You are on a roll! I love my luxury box seats, by the way. And the bulletproof glass is much appreciated! How is the man-mountain Rhoades, doing? |
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05-12-2003, 07:04 PM
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#42 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by revrew:
There are rumors circulating in the compound that Janet Reno has been using her elderly charms to distract our cult hero. What does that woman have against Gatesville? Theories of government conspiracy begin to gain steam... |
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05-12-2003, 07:04 PM
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#43 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Rhoades isn't exactly piling up the sacks, but overall our D is holding other teams to low point totals, and that's what really matters, I s'pose. Rhoades is drawing a lot of double teams, what with the rest of our D line being unfit to sack a potato. Hopefully he'll start getting to the quarterback with a little regularity soon...
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05-12-2003, 07:04 PM
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#44 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Revrew, I know that this has been a disappointing year for Chuck, but the season is still young. I'm sure he'll come around soon... I hope.
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05-12-2003, 07:05 PM
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#45 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by revrew:
This just in from Mel Gibson's Conspiracy Report: "Jacksonville - Irked that her complete destruction of cult compounds in the Waco, Texas, vacinity were unsuccessful, former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno is suspected of carrying out a secret campaign against the newly dubbed Gatesville's professional football team, the Silicon Pirates. One player on that team, a cult hero named Chuck U. Farley, is the apparent target of the campaign. It is also suspected that Reno's failed attempt to bankrupt the computer giant MicroSoft may be fueling her ire against the Pirates, a team owned by MicroSoft president, Bill Gates. Evidence cited in the allegation include increased ticket sales at Pirates games among the elderly, a demographical group Farley has a tainted past with. The congregation of these elderly in the endzone of the stadiums and the mysterious chants of "Chuck Me Farley!" also contribute to the suspicions. At this time, however, Reno has not been connected to the purchased of these tickets. Sudden "bonuses" in several Dallas area senior citizens' social security checks are prompting further investigation. Farley was unavailable for comment, but Pirates Kicker Brock Hidalgo told reporters, "If that crazy (expletive) is after the Pirates, I'm hiring guards for my son. The last thing I want is him shipped back to Cuba to be with his mother!" |
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05-12-2003, 07:05 PM
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#46 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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That does it! Janet definitely does not get a spot on the shuttle when Blitz gets us all blown to pieces. Mess with Chuck U., will you?!? How 'bout Bill and I mess with you, honey?!? Don't be surprised if you get a lot of "Blue Screens of Death" on your PC, baby! I mean, more than usual...
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05-12-2003, 07:05 PM
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#47 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Week 4
San Diego (1-2) at Gatesville (3-0) ============================================= Attendance: Our first home game of the year attracted 44,600 fans (out of a possible 59,200). Not great, but better than usual. Bill and I agreed that beggars can't be choosers; we were happy to just have more than we're used to. Game Summary: To shake things up, we gave Herb Matthews the start over Lazetti. Also, Tommy Douglas got put in at FB to replace the newly-injured Levon Wallace. Al Ingram was shifted back to his old position at WILB to replace Allen Whitfield. The first drive must've made Revrew smile, as Chuck U. caught his first touchdown of 2013 from 2 yards out. It was a sign of how the game was going to go. In the first quarter, we racked up 143 passing yards. By the end of the half, Berg had thrown for 268 yards, 4 touchdowns, and a 28-3 lead. In the second half, Farley caught another 2-yard touchdown to bring his season total to 2 scores after starting the game with none. The fireworks were not over though, as Al Ingram returned an interception 36 yards for a score, only to be outdone by cornerback Ed Ferguson, who returned his interception 72 yards for a score. When all was said and done, we had beaten the Chargers 52-3 and improved our record to 4-0. Key Performers: Berg of course won the Game MVP award, as well as the Offensive Player of the Week award, by virtue of his 27/41, 387 yard, 5 TD, zero interception performance. I'd say he's a legitimate candidate for League MVP this year. Matthews did not have a stellar day. Despite being the starter, he only carried the ball twice for 2 yards (I'll let you calculate his per-carry average yourself). He also caught 1 pass for 9 yards. Lazetti, who Matthews replaced in the lineup, had 11 carries for 51 yards, as well as 4 catches for 58 yards. Ralph Randle had 6 grabs for 125 yards and a TD. Earl Thornton made 6 catches also, gaining 97 yards and a touchdown. Chuck Farley came out of his slump with 5 catches for 33 yards and 2 TDs. Al Ingram recorded 5 tackles and 1 assist, and returned an interception for a touchdown as well. ============================================= The Farley Watch: Today's performance brings Chuck's season totals to 15 catches for 176 yards and 2 scores. Still, he's gonna have to kick it up another notch or two if he is serious about catching 10 TDs this year. ============================================= Philadelphia (1-2) at Dallas (2-1) The Cowboys continued their winning ways with a 27-6 whipping of the Eagles squad. Next week, we pay a visit to the 2-2 Redskins. See you tomorrow, folks! Go Gatesville! |
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05-12-2003, 07:06 PM
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#48 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
52-3?!?!  Yowza! This is some serious mojo! My goodness, what joy there is in Gatesville this year! |
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05-12-2003, 07:06 PM
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#49 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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If only Dallas were losing, this season would be fannnnnnn-tastic! We'll try to help them along in a couple weeks.
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05-12-2003, 07:07 PM
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#50 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Originally posted by Vince:
Yeah Kodos! And Yeah Chuck! Way to be guys...keep up your winning ways. And pay attention to the X-Com thread Kodos...I smell a promotion coming your way soon |
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