"A hitter can refuse to walk after four balls. After six balls, he walks to second base. Sorry, but we'd like to see Barry Bonds actually swing at a bat for our $29."
"Oh, and no more ground-rule doubles. If a fair ball bounces into the crowd, the fielder better go get it because the batter will be circling the baes. That ought to be fun. O.K., you're 6'8", 310? You sit in the front row."
"If Bonds still doesn't see a strike in an entire game, the opposing manager must dress like Cher for a week."
"As further incentive, any fan with a ticket to an August game in which both teams are already eliminated from playoff contention gets his money back."
"There shall be a maximum three repeats of any insult shouted by a fan. If the player being insulted doesn't smile, glare, or snap his bat like a toothpick, the fan must sit down and come up with something better."
And my personal favorite:
"Hitters can't leave the batter's box. PEnalty: automatic strike. There is no reason for Jason Giambi to step out and adjust his gloves, jersey, hat, belt, or cup after a ball. Yet he does it every time. "I don't even know why," he admits. "It's just habit." It won't be when he starts every bat at 0 and 2."
Personally, I wouldn't mind baseball seeing played his way...
It has many other funny things inside, go pick it up!
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