If people miss then someone is going to rebound; that is *(&%ing basketball. Changing the behavior will inevitably end up screwing someone; in this case it probably would result in more big man animations where you clap the ball without securing it and pulling it down. Imagine grinding a slightly undersized rebounding center only to have rebounds fall out your hands because you already pulled 4 off rebs this Q.
All the stuff you complain about is just the MyCareer cheese. Until 2k becomes more transparent (never will happen), you should assume 2k has a number of dynamic difficulty systems in place.
In an effort to be as helpful as I can, the quality of the pass does affect shots
If you want to grind assists on kickouts to 3pt shots I would get those key shooters a couple of layups (easier for MyPlayer since center, obviously)
Good Luck
Also, Luka pulled like 18 boards last game.

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