The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

**lilbiggio** · 09-04-2010, 07:11 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Braves Get Smacked Silly, Lose Season opener

The Atlanta Braves opened the new season up in Philadelphia. Not familiar with the Atlanta team whatsoever we threw our #1 vs. theirs. Can't go wrong with that formula right? The matchup pitted Tim Hudson vs. the great Roy Halladay.

Nobody wanted to tell us that Tim Hudson lacked any heat in his repertoire. I mean it's the first game of a brand new franchise mode, We're all excited to dive into this, and Hudson goes out there and gives up 15 hits, and 12 runs in 4 innings?!

Howard got us deep. that much was expected...

But when you have everybody else doing things it's just not what you want to see on opening day.

Let's look back, Palanco... two triples, Rollins, two doubles, even Doc got a hit, with a RBI double in the gap. The Braves looked like complete garbage out there, and this is supposed to be the team that we have to beat in our division.

And all because Hudson, didn't have an out pitch.

By dynasty rules I play every 6 games, so we'll have to wait a few games before Derek Lowe gives us a chance to see if it was a fluke.

How We Faired This Week in Review

Atlanta Braves 2 wins -4 losses

**lilbiggio** · 09-04-2010, 07:34 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Dynasty Rule #2. The DL Rule
If a player is injured in any way, day to day or for a few months, he MUST enter the DL. No questions asked. The player when finishing his stint on the DL will play one game in AAA before being elgible to return back to the lineup.

Ryan Howard is that Damn Good.

So our next start is a couple of days later, Lowe takes the mound at home vs. the Marlins. And well one thing can be said, the difference between a pitcher with stuff, and one without it, is monumental!

Just the simple fact that Lowe kept hitters from simply teeing off on him, as Hudson did the week before goes to show that we're going to have to go to the drawing board and figure out how to pitch with Hudson. Our strategy with Lowe? Go out there, get ahead in the count, and use the fast ball to set up the off speed.

Derek Lowe would only give up 6 knocks and 3 runs in a game that he went 7 inning sstrong. We needed that so badly for morale. Jason Heyward, is a beast. I had him hitting 7th in the order, and it worked quite well, as he collected 3 hits, and 2 runs, and scored the game winning run on a bloop single tagging up from first and scoring.

However the next few games were rough, we dropped the final 2 vs. Flordia, and could only squeak 1 win in a 3 game set vs. the Pirates at PNC. Heading into a Washington series we're already a smooth 6.0 GB in the loss column.

How We Faired This Week in Review

this week we'll compare the best and worst NL East records

1. Philies 10 - 2
5. Atlanta 4 - 8

* Troy Glaus out for 1-2 months with dislocated foot. Placed on 60 Day DL.

**lilbiggio** · 09-04-2010, 07:45 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Atlanta, GA
April 16, 2010
6:00 am

Ted Turner quickly got to work this morning, fired up the typewriter and began working on his award winning business model on regaining control of the Atlanta Braves baseball organization.

Business Model by TED TURNER

A Buy back the team for 500 Million dollars.

B Take back the ownership of TBS, bring said team to said station.

C ....

C however gave Turner a little more problems. See the thing with coming up with elaborate vengeance schemes is that often times or not, it's a felony. And secondly, good ideas such as securing the rights to a professional organization would require a bit more legs than a 3 part outline. You'd need to research, market analyze, write a 40 page proposal, divy up a good sum of money and so on.

We however simpy don't have that type of time.

So with that, Ted wrote the check for $500 Million Dollars and dropped it off at the Atlanta FedEx office on Pinecrest. Money can't buy everything, but maybe... it can buy the Atlanta Braves.

**doncoryell** · 09-05-2010, 04:29 AM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

I always liked Ted Turner, the former skipper of the yacht Courageous, which he raced in the America's Cup series many years ago up here in the city of Newport, RI and former owner of World Championship Wrestling.

**lilbiggio** · 09-05-2010, 03:04 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Oh yeah I'm a big time WCW fan, that side of Ted Turner's influence being stripped of him really hit me deep back in the day. The man built up a lot, but it all crashed very quickly.

Our next game left us stranded in beautiful Washington D.C. in a battle of the toilet bowl of the NL East. Washington and Atlanta both have been struggling mightly in the month of April. We can blame our crappy play on the field to a loss of catcher Brian McCann for 2 weeks.

The Nats? Well how about a ridiculous CPU decision to place Stephen Strasburg in relief, under the grounds that he couldn't make the rotation of 5. I for one won't complain, but it stinks facing that kind of heat in the bottom of the 8th.

As for the game, it was pretty exciting, we came out on top 2 to 1, after fighting back and forth all night long. Jair Jurrjens pitched out of a few jams, got 3 double plays in this one including a spectacular play from Derek Lee on the first base line doubling up Adam Kennedy. Lee is looking good offensively too, as he had a 4 for 5 night, and just kept getting on base.

Jason Heyward continues to be a beast batting low in the order, so I'm jsut going to keep him there. The man had 2 RBI's on the night, and led us to victory. Maybe one day we'll put him where he blongs in the order, but

How We Faired This Week in Review

Sigh, the Braves follow up a strong USER performance with another back to back series loss. The Nats took 2 from us, the Reds took another 2 out of 3, but the good news is, that McCann is back, and has spent his one game in AAA, so we can place him back in the lineup... but as of right now, the division is getting away from us before May even begins. Philly is dominating with their rotation.

**doncoryell** · 09-07-2010, 10:12 AM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

My dad's favorite team is the Braves. He's been a fan of theirs since they were in Boston.

I have a wrestling journal/dynasty featuring Mark "The Undertaker" Calaway over at greydogsoftware.com in the Wrestling Spirit 2 section. Mark was in WCW for about a year as "Mean Mark Callous" before being let go by them. My journal is just starting 1986 so I am a few years away before his "Mean Mark" period.

**lilbiggio** · 09-08-2010, 12:34 AM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

13 days had passed since Ted Turner's lofty payoff of the Atlanta Braves had been sent off into the winds of postal mail, courtesy of the FedEX on PineCrest. And for each of those 13 days, Ted woke up, scrounged up a couple of quarters and grabbed the early copy of the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

For the 14th conescutive day, the news was the same...

No news.

Ted chuckled a little, where in the blue hell does $500 Million dollars sneak off too? It was absurd to think that Liberty Media had not even given him the slightest hint of having recieved this abnormally large sum of money.

Where's the Yahoo.com misleading news title? Where's the front page story? Just the same old Bull**** Atlanta news, dogs, calling 911 yadda yadda....

Then the phone rang. It was Holman Keezel.

**lilbiggio** · 09-08-2010, 12:54 AM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Now as for the Braves, things are getting a bit frustrating...

We gain Brian McCann to open up a series in HotLanta vs. Chris Carpenter and the St. Louis Cardinals. McCann proved to be the presence that we've all been missing in the win column as he produced 3 hits on the evening. We were able to get a complete game out of kenshin kawakami which allowed the arms in the bullpen to rest. Why I decided to try to rest arms when I only play 1 game out of every 6? I really don't know.. but that's how we roll.

Here's where the frustration kicks in:

This team can not win without my assistance, I lead us to a victory, then they let us all down by dropping the next 2 games of the series. Then proceed to allow lowly Houston to take 2 from us at the JuiceBox. Those guys have only won 5 games all season and 2 of them were to the Braves. C'mon they suck.. why did we lose to them?!

I'm chalking it up to maybe my rotation is not good enough because our offense has enough weapons. Here's what we're working with on the rubber:

1. Tim Hudson
2. Derek Lowe
3. Jair Jurjjens
4. Kenshin Kawakami
5. Tommy Hanson

Not really a rotation that strikes fear in anybodies hearts I guess. But I mean this is getting out of hand to have lost every series in the month of April. If this pace keeps up we're not going to be in the post season because we won't be able to keep up with Philly or New York.

So while we start schemeing up ways to help the team out, our next game was against these very same Metropolitans. And hey, they have been on a tear winning 9 straight games and overtaking Philadelphia for first.

Where in the hell did that come from?

The Braves Are Tooty Fruity, and Dickey Kicked that Booty

R.A. Dickey straight up bent us over and insulted us with his knuckle ball. It was sooooo confusing trying to adjust to it. First time through the order after a lead off single, Dickey strikes out 3 and retires 10 in a row.

Then retires 6 in a row...

Then 4 in a row.

I finally start to get to him as he tires, but then defensively the one guy that I didn't want to beat us: Jason Bay... I wound up pitching to. Bay leads the league in HR and RBI's. But this NY lineup is so beastly I couldn't intentional walk him to go after David Wright.

So we pitch to him.. (like a fool).

and the S.O.B hits a 3 run HR, effectively ending the game. I hate losing, but I especially hate losing when I let some scrub that I know is going to go yard, go yard on me. it was a mistake and it cost us a neccesary USER game.

Braves take the loss 4-1.

How We Faired This Week In Review

Braves... sigh, losers of 7 of the last 10, steadily falling into oblivion.

But hey the NL race for first is heating up between the top ranked team in the game, and the 3rd ranked team. New York now winners of 10 straight, have unseated the Phillies and lead by 2.5 with a 21 - 9 record. We sit 10 games back of them at 11 - 19.

On to May...

**lilbiggio** · 09-10-2010, 01:45 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

It took Ted a few moments to place where he had last heard this voice. Would you remember the voice of a seemingly meaningless person 10 years after you met them?

Holman Keezel

Mr. Turner, I saw the proposal you sent, the letter with the $500 million dollars. Liberty Media is greedy... that much is true, and they are getting desperate to unload this ball club because of their recent performance on the field, and the retirement rumors of Bobby Cox. They want to sell, this is a good time to buy...

...But I can promise you, they will not, under any circumstances accept your offer. Not for $500 million, not for five times $500 Million.

Holman Keezel

They don't like you Mr. Turner. Liberty Media does not like what you represented or what you could represent if given back any kind of ownership. They know they gave you a bad rap. And frankly there are a lot of men and women that to this day dread what would happen if the very thing you are considering proposing ever went down.

You wouldn't come back quietly. they know this... and honestly you know it too...

Holman Keezel

Me though? I'm not scared. In fact, I have been waiting for this day since 2003.. I stayed loyal, I worked hard, and what did it get me? Nothing... I'm still expendable today as I was then.

I have a family, I have a roof I want to support. But also Mr. Turner... I have dreams too. I have invisioned your return for many years. And that's why when I saw your letter sitting idily by on the table. Everything that I have worked and planned for, as expendable as another old bill lying under some trash. I had to act upon it. I had to get that letter, and contact you with what I would say is a counter offer...

**lilbiggio** · 09-10-2010, 01:59 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Knowing good and well that Liberty Media would not accept any sort of payment from Ted Turner to regain his old organization. Keezel now proposed that Turner act as an investor, sending the money to him instead of directly to Liberty Media. By doing this, Ted still had his foot in the door, and Holman Keezel in the process, just got the best promotion of our generation.

Ted would not however agree to this arrangement, and who'd blame him honestly? He had already been swindled once for sharing his investments. Why let it happen twice.

Holman Keezel

Mr. Turner, with all due respect, you will never be able to own the Braves out right again. I have explained this to you numerous times now

Ted Turner

Likewise, you won't own them either without my investment so we are right back at square one once again.

Holman Keezel
Ok, ok.. how about this? You want power, I want ownership... Mr. Turner, would you consider being President of the Organization, with General Manager responsibilities? You would be hands on with this ball club. This would be your team literally with your fingerprints all over every move.

I know it's not ownership, but we've established that you will not be given that role in any way ever again. Atleast this way, you found your loophole, you're back in Atlanta, and we both win?

Ted thought about it...

Ted Turner

Alright then Mr. Keezel, let's turn this thing upside down then! I'm on board!

**lilbiggio** · 09-10-2010, 02:10 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Hudson Rocked Again.. Is his career Ovah?

Alright we get back to baseball again, and ironically enough Tim Hudson get his second chance at redemption against the team that made him look like a clown, the Philadelphia Phillies.

It was ugly, once again... The Phillies won 15 - 2, Hudson could not get anything going, and frankly we're not going to sit here and let a guy continue to get shell shocked each and every game. I don't care what his rating is. So we benched him. And start looking at our options.

Sign a Free Agent, or pick a player up from our farm system

Now I hate promoting guys too early, and I'd hate doing it when said team is in first place. nothing like fixing a wagon that ain't broke. But the guy I have my eyes on is Kris Medlen

The stats are impressive. 5 wins, zero losses. 5th best ERA in all of AAA with a 1.70 ERA, 33 K's that's good for 3rd.

So you get the point, the kid is ready, and is dominating the minors.

Here's where it gets funny. We travel down to see him play, in a game of Gwinnet vs. the Durham Bulls. Medlen is doing well, in three innings he had struck out 5, gave up only 3 hits and 1 run. And then all of a sudden, he starts acting strangely... and next thing we know....

HE GETS HURT

What. IN. The. Hell.

He won't be hurt for long, but well... I think I'm just going to leave him in the minors and go to plan 2... which is a free agent.

And looky, looky at who the newest Atlanta Brave is:

That's right... John F'n Smoltz is back...

... but at 41 years old, he won't be asked to go the distance anymore, just 6 quality innings each start. Anything... will be better than Tim Hudson's no fastball having performances.

**lilbiggio** · 09-10-2010, 02:18 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Atlanta Braves sold for $500 Million Dollars

In a shocking turn of events, Liberty Media has sold the Atlanta Braves for $500 Million Dollars. New Owner Holman Keezel states that he is ready to turn this ship around and get the Atlanta Braves back to where they belong.

Smoltz 30 pitches sizzle Durham

Smoltz was on a limited pitch count of course, because if I was going to get him to the show, I needed him well rested for his major league start later this same week. From what I saw on the mound, he looked good enough. In 30 pitches, Smoltz gave up 3 hits, 1 home run and struck out 2. Hudson on the otherhand had problems striking out ANYBODY.. so there's already an improvement.

Derek Lowe hurt himself over the course of the series with Philly, but will be available for his start vs. Arizona. That's a relief.

And what do you know, the Braves actually won their first series of the season. It only took May to do it, but it was an impressive 2 games taken from New York. Nothing wrong with that right friends? We're making small strides.

**lilbiggio** · 09-10-2010, 02:29 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

It was a big night, so you knew we'd have to pull out the red jerseys for this one heh...

Smoltz strikes out 8 in his Major League Comeback

Wow, it was electric Saturday Night in Atlanta....

John Smoltz at 41 years of age, had a little trouble getting through the innings but, for the most part. This is so far looking like a great move. All I have to do is give him the old school #29 and we're going to be ready to go.

I mean there is nothing more I can say, Smoltz after one AAA start that left me wondering whether he'd be able to strike out major league caliber hitters, went far and beyond what we expected. The Diamondbacks could not hit his slider, and it set up a great fastball for the out pitch. Although he left the game after 5 innings, due to a closely watched pitch count (which exceeded 100 this particular game)... he gave up only 4 hits and 1 run.

Nice.

Atlanta would win the game 6 to 5, thanks to a 8th inning 2 run comeback, and a Brian McCann walk off single down the first base line.

How We Faired This Week In Reivew

Things are starting to pick up in Atlanta in the month of May. After taking 2 of 3 against the Mets... We won 2 of 3 against the Diamondbacks, 2 of 3 against the Rocckies, and look to close the 10 game homestand with a 3 game interleague series with Toronto who's been struggling in the AL East.

We're 7-3 in the last 10 games, a half game back of 4th place Florida, and 5 games from playing .500 ball. Let's Go BRAVES!!!

1. New York 26 - 15

4. Florida 19 - 23
5. Atlanta 18 - 23 (8.0 GB)

**lilbiggio** · 09-11-2010, 09:40 PM

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

Things are picking up friends... things are looking really well indeed!

After losing a heartbreaker in Atlanta to Tornto 3 - 2 in 10 innings, the Braves departed on a 7 game Left Coast road trip. But before they left... there were two games to handle vs. these Jays, and the *** kickings began, and continued through the night.

After taking 2 of 3 from Toronto... the Braves, took another 2 from San Fran in the Bay Area. Then roasted Arizona for 2 of the first 3, in a 4 game set.

In the Arizona game, Jair Jurrjens was lights out. I think we've all had that moment, where you pitcher is hitting all his spots, his confidence is through the roof, you have a big lead, and everything just goes your way. And that my friends was our expereince out in Arizona. It was a 8 -1 Stomping of the D-Backs. And playing the game was more of a suggestion than a requirement in terms of just getting out of their without injury.

Streakin' Braves

So as we now head into the dog days of Summer and the month of June, let's just review a bit on what in the hell has gotten into the Braves all of a sudden.

7 guys are on fire now, and they are playing some good baseball, here are the notables:

Lowe 4 - 0 in the month of May, 31 strikeouts

Kawakami also had 4 wins.

Wagner Hot streak, and 6 saves out of 6 saves. Always good to have a closer feeling good!

Prado Has the 5th best batting average in the League. He hit .366 this month.

Jones 25 RBI's in May with 6 Bombs

Lee 21 RBI's 7 Homeruns.. but the stat that is telling to just how good he is playing. Derrek Lee has an insane 42 hits in the month of May. Better than anyone not named Puljos. Damn, that's some good hitting.

For June, we must now focus on taking out the Phillies, and competing for the Wild Card. Out right unseating the Mets is kind of out of the picture right now, given that we are still 9 games back. But we are only 4 back of the Phils.. considering where we were... that may be a reasonable goal for this month.

MLB Standings - N.L. East - 2010

Teams	W	L	PCT	GB	L10	HOME	AWAY
New York Mets	32	17		x
Philadelphia	28	24		4.0
Atlanta	24	26		9.0

OperationSports.com

Now is time for the June 4th draft... time to get some strategies set on how to go about this...

The Ted Turner Memoirs: A Story of Vengence and Apple Pie

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