The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

[Taur3asi3]

I did this 1 last year and it was alotta fun with the Heat with my highlight being a quadruple double with Lamar Odom. Now he's gone and its a totally new revamped team with high expectations. We have Shaq and Dwyane "Flash" Wade. They're surrounded by a very motley crew of young up and comers, journey men, past their prime vetrans, and Christian Laettner (replacing LO and CB4 as the resident Weed supplier. SVG says he does amazing work). The fans have be clamoring for championship team for almost 15 years and for the 1st time since Ruth Riley theres a legitimate center in Miami. Gone are the ghosts of playoff failures past. Memories of the Knicks upsetting the Heat as an 8th seed are gone its a new team with a new attitude.

Meet the Heat

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reserve

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

In pre-season the news the Heat are welcoming back Glen Rice. Rice who started his career with the Heat out of the University of Michigan was signed today to a 2 year 1.14 million dollar contract to shore up and possibly start at the number 3 position. To get room to make this signing the Heat were very sad to let go Michael Doleac who had struggled all through out training camp and with Laettner, Haslem, Beasley, and Malik Allen there was no room on the roster for another big. Stan "The Hedgehog" Van Guny summed todays up transaction up very well when he said "Doleac is a very decent 7'0 stiff but unforunately we needed to shore up the small forward spot." Christian Laettner was very bothered by this move and was quoted as saying "Great now who am i supposed to go clubbing with at South Beach? Wang?"

signed:

waived:

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

In pre-season the news the Heat are welcoming back Glen Rice. Rice who started his career with the Heat out of the University of Michigan was signed today to a 2 year 1.14 million dollar contract to shore up and possibly start at the number 3 position. To get room to make this signing the Heat were very sad to let go Michael Doleac who had struggled all through out training camp and with Laettner, Haslem, Beasley, and Malik Allen there was no room on the roster for another big. Stan "The Hedgehog" Van Guny summed todays up transaction up very well when he said "Doleac is a very decent 7'0 stiff but unforunately we needed to shore up the small forward spot." Christian Laettner was very bothered by this move and was quoted as saying "Great now who am i supposed to go clubbing with at South Beach? Wang?"

signed:

waived:

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 94-78

player of the game

26 points 10 rebounds 13-22 shooting in 26 minutes

Other notables
Dwyane Wade 20 points 9 assists 3 rebounds in 27 minutes
Eddie Jones 16 points 8 boards 3 assists 23 minutes
Ron Mercer 17 points 2 boards 3 assists
Alonzo Mourning 10 points 7 rebounds in 21 minutes

Disapointment of the game
The Small Forward position is still totally up for grabs with Rasual Butler and Glen Rice (who's still finding his legs) went a combined 2-13 (1-8 for Rice 1-5 for Rasual) in

News and Notes: In the 3rd quarter Christian Laettner took a charge and suffered a bruised hip (at his age hes lucky it wasnt a broken hip har har har) and will be injured for 2 weeks but he can play if necessary. Will see how he does against Cleveland and if it effects him we'll go with a platoon of Haslem starting, and Malik Allen and Jerome Beasley coming off the bench.

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 94-78

player of the game

26 points 10 rebounds 13-22 shooting in 26 minutes

Other notables
Dwyane Wade 20 points 9 assists 3 rebounds in 27 minutes
Eddie Jones 16 points 8 boards 3 assists 23 minutes
Ron Mercer 17 points 2 boards 3 assists
Alonzo Mourning 10 points 7 rebounds in 21 minutes

Disapointment of the game
The Small Forward position is still totally up for grabs with Rasual Butler and Glen Rice (who's still finding his legs) went a combined 2-13 (1-8 for Rice 1-5 for Rasual) in

News and Notes: In the 3rd quarter Christian Laettner took a charge and suffered a bruised hip (at his age hes lucky it wasnt a broken hip har har har) and will be injured for 2 weeks but he can play if necessary. Will see how he does against Cleveland and if it effects him we'll go with a platoon of Haslem starting, and Malik Allen and Jerome Beasley coming off the bench.

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 97 Cavaliers 77


Ding ding ding we have a winner. Glen Rice took the Small Forward spot and grab it by the balls by scoring 23 points grabbing 6 rebounds and dishing out 4 assists and getting 3 steals on 9-17 shooting and 3-6 from downtown in 28 minutes. Shaq got 32 points and 17 boards in 31 minutes on 16-26 shooting and abused Anderson Varejao, Zydrunas Illgauskas, Drew Gooden, and Robert Trayler. Dwyane Wade struggled mightly along with EJ as they went a combined 7-26 and 1-5 from 3. LeBron scored 27 12-28 shooting dished out 5 and pulled down 3 boards in 34 minutes and Eric Snow even managed to score 17 and Drew Gooden pulled down 15 boards.

Player of the game

the NEW starting Small Forward. Welcome back to the NBA Glen Rice!

Stat of the night: bench points 39-6 in favour of the Heat
Disapointment of the night: EJ and Dwyane Wade. They need to perform better if we're going to win the whole thing. Thankfully Shaq and Glen Rice showed he still knew how to play this game and came up huge for us in the win.

News and notes: Christian Laettner, still suffering from a bruised hip was ineffective in 11 minutes shooting 2-6 and getting 2 boards in 11 minutes. He will most likely be replaced in the starting 5 with Haslem until hes healthy.

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 97 Cavaliers 77


Ding ding ding we have a winner. Glen Rice took the Small Forward spot and grab it by the balls by scoring 23 points grabbing 6 rebounds and dishing out 4 assists and getting 3 steals on 9-17 shooting and 3-6 from downtown in 28 minutes. Shaq got 32 points and 17 boards in 31 minutes on 16-26 shooting and abused Anderson Varejao, Zydrunas Illgauskas, Drew Gooden, and Robert Trayler. Dwyane Wade struggled mightly along with EJ as they went a combined 7-26 and 1-5 from 3. LeBron scored 27 12-28 shooting dished out 5 and pulled down 3 boards in 34 minutes and Eric Snow even managed to score 17 and Drew Gooden pulled down 15 boards.

Player of the game

the NEW starting Small Forward. Welcome back to the NBA Glen Rice!

Stat of the night: bench points 39-6 in favour of the Heat
Disapointment of the night: EJ and Dwyane Wade. They need to perform better if we're going to win the whole thing. Thankfully Shaq and Glen Rice showed he still knew how to play this game and came up huge for us in the win.

News and notes: Christian Laettner, still suffering from a bruised hip was ineffective in 11 minutes shooting 2-6 and getting 2 boards in 11 minutes. He will most likely be replaced in the starting 5 with Haslem until hes healthy.

[DueceDiggla]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Ron Jeremy?????

[DueceDiggla]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Ron Jeremy?????

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Have you ever seen Stan Van Gundy? Seriously have you?

Heat 83 Wizards 94

The Heat suffered their 1st defeat of the season on a night where Dwyane Wade started 4-5 and then promptly went 4-12 the rest of the way, Shaq shot 11-25, the small forward and shooting guard positions went a combined 6-28, and the Powerforward position shot a combined 4-14 the Heat fell apart after jumping to a 22-8 lead early on. Antawn Jamison score 25 points and grabbed 11 assists while Larry Hughes scored a game high 27 and Gilbert Arenas chipped in 22. The Heat were brutally out rebounded 62-41 and only had Shaq finish with double digits and noone else with more then 6 while the Wizards had 3 finish with double digits (Thomas, Brown, and Jamison).

Player of the game

25 points 11 rebounds and 7-9 in the 4th quarter to put the game away

Disapointment of the game: Pick 1 either the horrible play by our stars, our horrible rebounding or the fact we shot 16-40 in the 2nd half while the Wizards shot 22-46

News and notes: The Cleveland Cavaliers have offered Small Forward Aleksander Pavlovic and a 2nd round pick to the Heat for Dorrell Wright. The offer is being considered.

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Have you ever seen Stan Van Gundy? Seriously have you?

Heat 83 Wizards 94

The Heat suffered their 1st defeat of the season on a night where Dwyane Wade started 4-5 and then promptly went 4-12 the rest of the way, Shaq shot 11-25, the small forward and shooting guard positions went a combined 6-28, and the Powerforward position shot a combined 4-14 the Heat fell apart after jumping to a 22-8 lead early on. Antawn Jamison score 25 points and grabbed 11 assists while Larry Hughes scored a game high 27 and Gilbert Arenas chipped in 22. The Heat were brutally out rebounded 62-41 and only had Shaq finish with double digits and noone else with more then 6 while the Wizards had 3 finish with double digits (Thomas, Brown, and Jamison).

Player of the game

25 points 11 rebounds and 7-9 in the 4th quarter to put the game away

Disapointment of the game: Pick 1 either the horrible play by our stars, our horrible rebounding or the fact we shot 16-40 in the 2nd half while the Wizards shot 22-46

News and notes: The Cleveland Cavaliers have offered Small Forward Aleksander Pavlovic and a 2nd round pick to the Heat for Dorrell Wright. The offer is being considered.

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 95 Wizards 83

The Heat got their vengeance tonight against the Wizards in the 2 half of their home and home by a final of 95-83. After only being up 6 at the half the Heat tore the Wizards up and it was a bigger blow out then the score shows, the Wizards scored a majority of their 4th quarter points against Jerome Beasley, Malik Allen, Damon Jones, and Zhi Zhi Wang. Shaq took it upon himself to make up for the disgraceful performance against the Wiz last time and got 30 points, 21 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, and 6 blocks on 15-18 shooting in 31 minutes. Christian Laettner added 18 and 6 off the bench still fighting threw an injury.

player of the game

Shaq destroyed the wiz

Disapointment of the game
EJ just absolutley stinks i seriously wanna trade him for anything at this point

News and Notes: The Heat have waived Zhi Zhi Wang and traded Keyon Dooling to the Houston Rockets for 2nd year point guard Reece Gaines

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 95 Wizards 83

The Heat got their vengeance tonight against the Wizards in the 2 half of their home and home by a final of 95-83. After only being up 6 at the half the Heat tore the Wizards up and it was a bigger blow out then the score shows, the Wizards scored a majority of their 4th quarter points against Jerome Beasley, Malik Allen, Damon Jones, and Zhi Zhi Wang. Shaq took it upon himself to make up for the disgraceful performance against the Wiz last time and got 30 points, 21 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, and 6 blocks on 15-18 shooting in 31 minutes. Christian Laettner added 18 and 6 off the bench still fighting threw an injury.

player of the game

Shaq destroyed the wiz

Disapointment of the game
EJ just absolutley stinks i seriously wanna trade him for anything at this point

News and Notes: The Heat have waived Zhi Zhi Wang and traded Keyon Dooling to the Houston Rockets for 2nd year point guard Reece Gaines

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 114 Mavericks 64

The Heat absolutley destroyed the Mavs and held them to 28% shooting, out scoring their bench 33-9, and having a 12-0 advantage in fast break points. Noone could stop shaq and newly acquired Reece Gaines lead the Terror Squad off the bench with 16 points 5 assists and 4 rebounds playing pg, sg, and sf in 21 minutes. Meanwhile Dwyane Wade continues to turn into the evolutionary Fat Lever by getting 18 points 7 boards and 7 assists. Jason Terry ended up getting injured with a sprained wrist.

Player of the game

32 points 19 rebounds 3 assists 2 steals 7 blocks on 15-18 shooting

Disapointment of the game
Michael Finley used and abused EJ all game long going for 22 points and 8 boards

News and notes: Shaq is now shooting 64.2% from the floor and averaging 28.6 ppg (1st) 15.6 rpg (1st), and 6.2 bpg (1st) while Dwyane Wade is leading the league in assists and tied for 1st in steals with Shaq with 3.4 spg. Sadly the Heat are only in a 3 way tie for 1st place in the South East with the Wizards and Hawks(!).

[Taur3asi3]

Re: The Ron Jeremy Chronicles 2: A Heat story

Heat 114 Mavericks 64

The Heat absolutley destroyed the Mavs and held them to 28% shooting, out scoring their bench 33-9, and having a 12-0 advantage in fast break points. Noone could stop shaq and newly acquired Reece Gaines lead the Terror Squad off the bench with 16 points 5 assists and 4 rebounds playing pg, sg, and sf in 21 minutes. Meanwhile Dwyane Wade continues to turn into the evolutionary Fat Lever by getting 18 points 7 boards and 7 assists. Jason Terry ended up getting injured with a sprained wrist.

Player of the game

32 points 19 rebounds 3 assists 2 steals 7 blocks on 15-18 shooting

Disapointment of the game
Michael Finley used and abused EJ all game long going for 22 points and 8 boards

News and notes: Shaq is now shooting 64.2% from the floor and averaging 28.6 ppg (1st) 15.6 rpg (1st), and 6.2 bpg (1st) while Dwyane Wade is leading the league in assists and tied for 1st in steals with Shaq with 3.4 spg. Sadly the Heat are only in a 3 way tie for 1st place in the South East with the Wizards and Hawks(!).