I'd have some dirty old pickup truck....or a Ferari.
BAP: Eric McKee
Collapse
Recommended Videos
Collapse
X
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
sorry Eric, im from your local towing agency
I have towed your car and successfully put it in my garage. You will never see it again. Thank YouComment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
Sorry, Mr.Quickel, But I have taken your 2009 Ford Fusion out of your garage. You will never see it again..Comment
-
Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
Eric, this is totally awesome, and I like how you've introduced some cool pics of your player, your sick ride, and your pad. Your writing is pretty good, but it can sometimes be hard to read.
I have one important tip to make it easier:
When you are having a conversation, anything that is in quotes has to be on a completely new, seperate line. If this was a book, thats the way it would work. And even though it's not a book, it still makes things much easier.
So, instead of saying, "Hey lou it's me Eric" "hey eric how's it going?" "Not bad Mr. Lou, hey, can you buy me a new car, some dickwad named Scott stole it!"
Say:
Eric picked up the phone, and dialed Lou.
"Hello?" Lou said on the other line.
"Hey Lou, it's me, Eric!"
"Hey Eric," Lou said. "How's it going?"
"Not bad, Mr. Lou. Hey, can you buy me a new car, some dickwad named Scott stole it!"
You don't have to include all the little details like "Lou said", or even the part about it being on the other line. Just seperate everything people say, so that we can see that another person said it. It's easier to understand that somebody else is speaking if you seperate it by a line break. Kind of like in a screenplay. In a screenplay, the format is something like this:
YODA: Strong in you, the force is, young Eric Mckee.
ERIC: Thank you, Master Yoda. How do you like my BAP?
YODA: Noble, it is.
It's NOT:
YODA: Strong in you, the force is, young Eric Mckee. ERIC: Thank you, Master yoda. How do you like my BAP? YODA: Noble, it is.
Idk if you can see how much easier it was to read the first, more spaced out version than it was to read the second, more bunched up version.
A lot of us don't have a lot of time when we're doing updates, but there are two things for that:
1: If you don't have a lot of time, wait until you do have time. I'd rather have an epic, amazing chapter the next day than a crappy, boring, hard to read chapter today. (Not that your chapters are boring or crappy, they're really good so far!)
2: If you really feel that you absolutely MUST update, even if you are short on time, hitting the ENTER button on your keyboard twice doesn't really take up that much time.
I'm not trying to boss you around, or tell you what to do. You don't even have to listen to my advice. I think you should, though, because it will make everything so much better once you have gotten it down.
As always, this stuff is hawt, and i am loving it so far. Keep up the good work.
By the way, with an income of over $300,000 a year, you should probably get a nicer apartment, and definitely get a much better car. Ford is going to die for a reason: they no longer make great cars.
Buy something cooler, like an Aston Martin, Bentley, or a Ferrari. Although I've been in all three, and I thought that the Rolls Royce phantom is the coolest party car ever. Come on, dude, the backseat is a giant leather sofa. I'm not even joking!!!Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
Listen to Hizz although interesting bit on the cars but Hizz is the best writer on this forum and we know why.Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
no i'm not, i still think hurst is better than me.
but yeah, this is so awesome, again, it got really creative with showing your car and apartment, great ideas!
also, i love how you call Lamoriello (sp?) "Lou", as if he was your uncle or something. it makes him seem more like a character in a story than a real life person, which i think is awesome. it makes him look less cold and heartless than he does irl.
can't wait for the next update!Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
All this talk about cars. I don't think my BAP can even afford a car ...Comment
-
Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
but yeah, i made sure that my BAP has a $10.000 M contract that is 2 way. no, not really, but i certainly wish i had 10 million dollars.
don't mind me, i'm tired--i should go to bed, but the hawks/nucks game has me transfixed. what you're seeing now are the ramblings of a tired, bored teenage dude, haha.Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
MY BAP guy has a Ice Creame truck he drives to and from the arena. Its sooo pimped out. The ice creame song always attracts the girls. But unlucky for me there 6 year olds.
Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
lol at least its a step older for you than usual.Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
i think that's the smartest thing star king has ever said on these forums. on top of THAT, he didn't even say the word "Sexy" in it!!
but yes, quicks, i was noticing that too. i guess he felt intimidated by my superior writing skills when i gave him my rocking awesome tips, lol.Comment
-
Re: BAP: Eric McKee
i think that's the smartest thing star king has ever said on these forums. on top of THAT, he didn't even say the word "Sexy" in it!!
but yes, quicks, i was noticing that too. i guess he felt intimidated by my superior writing skills when i gave him my rocking awesome tips, lol.Comment
Comment