Plotty's Aspirations of a Arm-Chair Golfer

[kzoz21]

Re: Plotty's Aspirations of a Arm-Chair Golfer

nice job in london. too bad you charged a bit late.

[PlottyDawg]

Re: Plotty's Aspirations of a Arm-Chair Golfer

April 1, 2010

Here I'm sitting on the tarmac at JFK, and have some time to kill before heading to China for the Shanghai Classic. Shanghai has always been a fun tournament. Last year I somehow managed to shoot my first ever under par score there in the final round. But that didn't ease the nastiness of shooting 79-78 the first two rounds, and finishing a respectable but could have been so much better 19th.

A lot have happened since I blogged last to you all. I've had some serious ups and downs since that first tournament. You all read about my charge at the Wentworth. That was a blast! I was in the thick of a race to win an actual tournament. Then the rains came, took a tough bogey on number 8, and finished second by a couple shots.

After that, it's been up and down. Inconsistency would be the word I'd use here. First, the Gator Open rocked my confidence a lot. This year it was at Bay Hill, which last year didn't treat me very well, and this year would be similar. I opened the two-round tournament with an 80, including an ugly 46 on the back 9. On back to back holes I took a snowman-double bogey! And this was after going out on the front in 34! The second round wasn't much better, as I shot 74 to keep my average to make Q-School. Overall, Bay Hill ravaged my nuts as fast as Vietmanese crotch rot.

Then came the Highlands Challenge at St. Andrews. I consider St. Andrews one of my favorite courses, and man did I ever play it like it was the first two days. Remember that the Highlands is all match play: 16 people vying for the championship. I thought I was good as gold after I destroyed my first two opponents 5 and 4. In my quarter-final match against Hightower, I nailed my first ever hole-in-one on the par 3 11th.

Then came some dirty ****bag named Colby LeBlanc.

This douschebag ripped me off from a semi-final round win. Plain and simple. I came out with the exact same game plan as I had for the other two opponents. I came out swinging, winning the first two holes. I even knocked in two eagles. You'd think that'd be worth something, right?

Not to ****muffin Colby LeBlanc. The damn Frenchie stuck around and stuck around, waited for me to mess up...which came a bit more often than it did the previous two rounds combined, played even golf with me the back nine.

Then came the second playoff hole. A bad tee shot here, a missed putt there...and guess what? LeBlanc beat me 1-up. Never did I ever want to dig a hole for a grave and stay there. I was the clear-cut favorite to runaway with the tournament and I BLEW IT. I had to abandon as soon as I could before wanting to take the Frenchie out and mashing his face in. Fortunately I escaped England without some damage to myself. I guess the entire country had their paychecks bet on me to win the tourmament. Whoops for them.

Ever since then, I've been somewhat in the dumps. I played the April Fool's Challenge at Westchester. It was okay, nothing too special. It was pretty hard playing in the rain there, though. I did shoot 74 to keep myself under that scoring plateau needed for Q-School. But the round itself was, blah. It was very vanilla. I challenged myself more than the course did because I was shanking a bit right, just enough to make my second and third shot a bit tedious.

Anyways, its hard to work on the scorecards while typing on this Blueberry phone I bought a few weeks back. When I get a few days off, from not golfing or promo appearances for Nike TW, I'll upload them so you all can see. Til next time....huzzah!

London Invitational at Wentworth – January 9-10, 2010

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	OUT	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	IN	Total
Length	392	532	170	384	466	393	442	219	583	3581	424	535	358	191	481	431	507	120	447	3494	7075
Par	4	5	3	4	4	4	4	3	5	36	4	5	4	3	4	4	5	3	4	36	72
Rd 1	5	3	4	6	4	3	6	3	4	38	3	5	3	4	3	5	3	4	4	34	72
Rd 2	4	3	4	4	3	4	4	4	5	35	3	5	3	4	3	3	4	4	4	33	68

Gator Open at Bay Hill – January 23-24, 2010

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	OUT	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	IN	Total
Length	441	218	395	558	384	558	197	459	467	3677	400	438	580	364	206	425	517	219	441	3590	7267
Par	4	3	4	5	4	5	3	4	4	36	4	4	5	4	3	4	5	3	4	36	72
Rd 1	5	3	5	5	3	3	3	3	3	33	8	6	5	4	3	5	7	4	4	46	79
Rd 2	4	3	5	3	4	6	5	5	6	41	3	4	5	5	3	4	5	2	3	34	75

Highlands Challenge at St. Andrews – March 18-21, 2010

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	OUT	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	IN	Total
Length	376	411	370	419	514	374	359	166	347	3336	340	174	316	418	530	414	381	455	357	3385	6721
Par	4	4	4	4	5	4	4	3	4	36	4	3	4	4	5	4	4	4	4	36	72
Rd 1 v. Moto	1U	1U	E	1U	2U	2U	1U	1U	2U		1U	2U	3U	4U	5U	--	--	--	--		W 5 & 4
Rd 2 v. Hightower	1U	2U	3U	2U	2U	2U	2U	3U	4U		4U	5U	5U	4U	5U	--	--	--	--		W 5 & 4
Rd 3 v. LeBlanc	1U	2U	1U	E	1U	2U	2U	1U	1U		1U	E	1U	1U	E	E	1U	E	E		L 1D 20H

April Fool's Day Shootout – March 31, 2010

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	OUT	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	IN	Total
Length	314	442	485	410	154	462	214	374	526	3381	190	384	408	419	575	146	326	464	505	3417	6798
Par	4	4	5	4	3	4	3	4	5	36	3	4	4	4	5	3	4	4	5	36	72
Mathias Platzek	4	4	4	5	6	4	3	4	5	39	3	4	4	4	5	4	3	5	5	37	76

[PlottyDawg]

Re: Plotty's Aspirations of a Arm-Chair Golfer

April 4, 2010

Wasabi! Wassssssssssabbbbbiiiieeeeeee! Dude, maybe I should go try my hand at putting while snorting some wassssssssssssssssssssssabbbbbbbbbbbbiiiiiieeeeee, that sounds like a whole lot of fun! Ok, ok, so my buddy here Kung Pow Yow is telling me I need to let you, the world know about my latest attempt at golf. So, here I am in Shesuan country Club, outside Shanghaieeeeeeeeeeeya, where I just finished a robust 67th in this four round tournament. I played okay, but not great, because it wasn't. Shut your mouth Van Pelt, or I'll show you whatsssssssssaaaaabbbbbbiiieeeee! Nah, we're cool. We squared away the differences and whatnot. I said squared...heh heh he wassssaaabbbbbiiiieeeee!

Okay, this was my first round back from the shamfoolery known as the April Fools Day Tournament, and the crock of crap known as the Highland Challenge. I was destined to come out and play an actual weekend and win a damn tournament for a change.

Unfortunately, the golfers played like they were the United States Air Force shooting heat-seeking missiles at Taliban holding quarters. They nailed everything. From 350 yard drives to 50 foot putts, this course became zero of a challenge. The winning score was -15, and that was after a sudden death playoff. Well, except for me. I guess you could call my weekend as a “50/50” special. The first and third rounds were okay for the most part. I started out bird-bird for the first round, but by the time I made the turn, I was one-over 37 and in danger of worse. Fortunately I was able to regroup and and posted par 72.

My third round was a case of “coulda, shoulda's”. I had six or seven birdies, and an eagle. Problem is, I gave a bunch of shots back and ended up with a 70. Sure, a 70 is good, but for as well as I played, 70 sounded disappointing to me. I had several chip-ins for birdie, and made a couple putts outside my comfort zone. But where there was a low number, a bogey followed. Then the 18th occurred and I took on a damn double-bogey 7.

As for the second and fourth rounds, let's just say I did not play well and leave it at that. Midgets squatting in the bushes looking for ants had more success than I did those days.

Glad I'll be back in the states next week for the Earth Day Challenge. I didn't play in it last year because of my tiffy with Van Pelt. He says I have a syrupy swing. What the hell that means I don't know. Maybe he's referring to how many shots of wassssaaabbbbiiieeeeee I've taken, because its not my bedroom technique. See you at the Black...Bethpage that is. Wasabbbbbbbbbbiiiieeeee!

Shanghai Classic - April 1-4, 2010

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	OUT	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18	IN	Total
Length	459	550	362	200	459	200	346	603	466	3645	401	435	217	430	563	487	288	191	538	3550	7195
Par	4	5	4	3	4	3	4	5	4	36	4	4	3	4	5	4	4	3	5	36	72
Rd 1	3	4	5	3	5	3	5	5	4	37	3	4	3	4	5	4	4	4	4	35	72
Rd 2	4	5	4	4	5	3	3	6	6	40	3	4	4	4	4	4	5	3	5	36	76
Rd 3	4	3	4	3	5	2	3	6	5	35	4	3	2	5	4	5	3	2	7	35	70
Rd 4	4	5	4	2	4	4	4	8	5	40	3	3	3	4	5	5	4	3	4	34	74

[PlottyDawg]

Re: Plotty's Aspirations of a Arm-Chair Golfer


Final Round = Fabulous at Turnberry?
by Marc Crouger

The way things are shaping up here at the European Shootout, you might as well be on an American course. Here are reasons:

1) Scoring has been low. Ridiculously low. Even when American couch potato Mathias Platzek can go out on the Alisa course and shoot 65-64-66 the first three days, you know the golf course is playing easy.

2) Sunny days. Gone are the weather most rounds at Turnberry are known for: ghastly north wins howling off the sea, the rain pelting down on golfers, making their day (and life) miserable. The golfers this weekend have been blessed with cool temperatures, but mainly sunny to partly cloud skies.

3) Americans on the leaderboaurd. Besides the aforementioned Platzek, who has shown amazing accuracy, names like Edwards, Allenby and Mize dot the leaderboaurd. No Scot nor a Brit can be found in the Top 10, let alone Top 25.

4) Long drives. I haven't seen this Platzek play before the weekend, but he has hit the ball places unimagined. There in lies his success, with short irons to the pin. Then his putting skills, well....

5) Putts from long distances are falling. No, not London Bridge, but the length of putts that have dropped are amazing as well. Platzek, in the three rounds, has holed out putts from 15-50 feet six times. That's more than what he's done in the 12 rounds combined.

This article is no means to bash on Platzek. Of course, he did cost some Englishmen some 700 million pounds when he choked in the Highlands Challenge, myself included. Go choke again, Mathias, you're well worth it.

[kzoz21]

Re: Plotty's Aspirations of a Arm-Chair Golfer

haha love it