Discussions With My Caddy

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  • ajaxab
    Rookie
    • Jun 2003
    • 138

    #1

    Discussions With My Caddy

    As a precursor, I do like the game and I still enjoy it, but the caddy implementation is strange. The caddy's course mastery really is a bizarre system if you think about it. This is the way the dialogue might go as my caddy and I approach the first tee:

    Me: So what shot should I hit here?

    Caddy: Try this one right on the fairway, but I'm not 100% confident about it (red advice).

    Me: But I thought you were a decent caddy who had some knowledge of the course. That's why I hired you in the first place. Why aren't you sure about your advice? Caddies are supposed to know the course right?

    Caddy: Well, yeah, I do know a bit about the course, but you actually need to hit a bunch of good shots before I can learn more about the best places to hit the ball. After you've hit a bunch of good shots, then you'll get a higher level of course mastery and you'll get better advice from me.

    Me: So you're saying that I need to hit good shots to get better advice from you?

    Caddy: Yeah, I suppose that's what I'm saying.

    Me: But how can I hit good shots if you're giving me advice that isn't that good?

    Caddy: You might have a point there. But still, if you hit good shots, then I'll give you better advice.

    Me: Wait a second. Why do I need to hit good shots for your advice to get better? Shouldn't you be helping me hit good shots in the first place?

    Caddy: Maybe. But that's not my job. You have to actually figure things out first and then I'll help you more.

    Me: What kind of caddy are you anyways?

    Caddy: I'm just following orders. The boss told me to give you bad advice at first. If you ignore my advice and choose your own shots and do well, we both get these bronze medals. After that, I start giving you advice that's a bit better and we get silver medals. Finally, I give you the best advice possible and we get gold medals.

    Me: Why would your boss want you to give bad advice?

    Caddy: I don't know. Maybe it's a way for you to learn how to play better or something.

    Me: But how am I going to learn to play better if you're giving me bad advice?

    Caddy: Uh...good point.

    Me: And if I do end up playing better by not listening to you and picking my own shots, why will I need you when I do get better?

    Caddy: Uh...yeah, that's another good point.

    Me: Won't you be out of a job by the time we're gunning for those gold medals? By then, I'll know what shots to play so I won't need your best advice.

    Caddy: I hadn't thought of that.

    Me: Tell you what. Here's $10. Take the money and go back to your boss and tell him you're quitting and leaving for another job.

    Caddy: But how am I going to find another job?

    Me: Your talents are being wasted here. Your boss is forcing you to do something that isn't in your best interests. [disables caddy]

    Caddy: But, but, it's the only job I've ever known!

    Me: Sorry man. You're just not any help to me. I have no choice but to fire you.

    [Caddy slumps off back to the clubhouse]
  • Section_25
    Pro
    • Sep 2009
    • 717

    #2
    Re: Discussions With My Caddy

    LMAO.......very interesting.

    Comment

    • BLB34
      Rookie
      • Mar 2009
      • 92

      #3
      Re: Discussions With My Caddy

      Bravo!

      Comment

      • bulls23
        Banned
        • Jan 2007
        • 1740

        #4
        Re: Discussions With My Caddy

        LMFAO!

        Comment

        • NEOPARADIGM
          Banned
          • Jul 2009
          • 2788

          #5
          Re: Discussions With My Caddy

          Well done, sir.

          Comment

          • ajaxab
            Rookie
            • Jun 2003
            • 138

            #6
            Re: Discussions With My Caddy

            I was thinking of a way to deal with this problem and the most feasible solution would be to play at the Amateur level until you had gold course mastery on the majority of courses. Then you could switch to Tournament difficulty and the caddy would be helpful again. However, given that I've been bumbling along on Tournament from the outset and don't really want to switch to amateur (I want to feel like I earned that top 100 to get into the Master's), I figure I'll be lucky to get all silver course mastery. As a result, my caddy will be permanently unemployed.

            Comment

            • oldrockinguy
              Banned
              • Aug 2010
              • 99

              #7
              Re: Discussions With My Caddy

              Originally posted by ajaxab
              I was thinking of a way to deal with this problem and the most feasible solution would be to play at the Amateur level until you had gold course mastery on the majority of courses. Then you could switch to Tournament difficulty and the caddy would be helpful again. However, given that I've been bumbling along on Tournament from the outset and don't really want to switch to amateur (I want to feel like I earned that top 100 to get into the Master's), I figure I'll be lucky to get all silver course mastery. As a result, my caddy will be permanently unemployed.
              I have my caddy to gold level on many courses and he STILL acts like he smoked a bowl before the round! No difference at all, still makes stupid suggestions.

              Comment

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