For those who don’t know, I have this friend named Reilly. He is your typical meathead. Drinks a lot. Parties a lot. Wears pinks shirts. Is bald. Is really big (muscles). Gets in a lot of fights. Wins a lot. Etc.
He has a history of funny drinking stories:
See #1: link
See #2: link
Well here is another...
March 7th is Reilly’s 21st birthday, so tonight was his 21-run. Fast-forward to about 9 PM. He is about 9-10 beers deep, and just relaxing. By about 11:30 he is 18+ drinks deep and getting really excited to go to the bars. This is where the fun begins.
So he shows up at the nearby bar, shows his ID to the bouncer, and as soon as he gets inside starts yelling. “Hey **** bartender make me a ***** drink! Its my ****** 21 run!!!” While he is yelling, he is stumbling to get closer to the bartender, but in the process he is knocking over tables and stools, etc.
Well, he gets a few more drinks in him, and he is making it really uncomfortable for everyone that went with him. He is yelling. Stumbling. At one point, he goes to move a stool over to a table where his friends are sitting, but he trips and smacks his face against the table.
People are laughing at him, the bartender, the bouncer, but everyone in the group is not having a good time. At around 12:40 everyone leaves the bar, and Reilly is completely housed. He takes a few steps outside the bar, falls to his knees, then smacks his face on the pavement. In the process of doing so, he knocks out his two front teeth!!!
So we get back to our house and he is yelling at people, telling them he is going to kill them, and that losing his teeth is their fault. But the whole time I have to fight it not to laugh because he is talking with a lisp and it makes whistling noises. His face is bruised up from the fall too.
He is talking to us, but not speaking coherent English. “Hey Blake...its not easy for me to like you.” “Huh, what do you mean Reilly?” “*whistle noise* See...I loooooove you. But right now, I want to ****** kill you!”
Oh, and he was wearing a pink, colored shirt. Oh, and he has a test tomorrow morning. I can’t imagine what he is going to think when he wakes up tomorrow. There is no way he will remember any of this. His face is going to hurt, and his two front teeth are going to be gone. The ironic thing is, he is a fan of teeth. Prides himself on his oral hygiene. And often says things like, “wow, that guy has really nice teeth.” or “wow, that girl doesn’t have nice teeth.”
Well, thought you use could use a laugh.
He has a history of funny drinking stories:
See #1: link
See #2: link
Well here is another...
March 7th is Reilly’s 21st birthday, so tonight was his 21-run. Fast-forward to about 9 PM. He is about 9-10 beers deep, and just relaxing. By about 11:30 he is 18+ drinks deep and getting really excited to go to the bars. This is where the fun begins.
So he shows up at the nearby bar, shows his ID to the bouncer, and as soon as he gets inside starts yelling. “Hey **** bartender make me a ***** drink! Its my ****** 21 run!!!” While he is yelling, he is stumbling to get closer to the bartender, but in the process he is knocking over tables and stools, etc.
Well, he gets a few more drinks in him, and he is making it really uncomfortable for everyone that went with him. He is yelling. Stumbling. At one point, he goes to move a stool over to a table where his friends are sitting, but he trips and smacks his face against the table.
People are laughing at him, the bartender, the bouncer, but everyone in the group is not having a good time. At around 12:40 everyone leaves the bar, and Reilly is completely housed. He takes a few steps outside the bar, falls to his knees, then smacks his face on the pavement. In the process of doing so, he knocks out his two front teeth!!!
So we get back to our house and he is yelling at people, telling them he is going to kill them, and that losing his teeth is their fault. But the whole time I have to fight it not to laugh because he is talking with a lisp and it makes whistling noises. His face is bruised up from the fall too.
He is talking to us, but not speaking coherent English. “Hey Blake...its not easy for me to like you.” “Huh, what do you mean Reilly?” “*whistle noise* See...I loooooove you. But right now, I want to ****** kill you!”
Oh, and he was wearing a pink, colored shirt. Oh, and he has a test tomorrow morning. I can’t imagine what he is going to think when he wakes up tomorrow. There is no way he will remember any of this. His face is going to hurt, and his two front teeth are going to be gone. The ironic thing is, he is a fan of teeth. Prides himself on his oral hygiene. And often says things like, “wow, that guy has really nice teeth.” or “wow, that girl doesn’t have nice teeth.”
Well, thought you use could use a laugh.
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