I don't think there was any language (I was laughing too hard to notice) - but it is the Onion, so....
<embed src="http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/common/assets/videoplayer/flvplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="355" flashvars="file=http://www.theonion.com/content/xml/80614/video&autostart=false&image=http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/FEEDBAGS_article.jpg&bufferlength=3&embedded=true& title=New%20Wearable%20Feedbags%20Let%20Americans% 20Eat%20More%2C%20Move%20Less"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_wearable_feedbags_let?utm_source=embedded_vide o">New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less</a>
<embed src="http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/common/assets/videoplayer/flvplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="355" flashvars="file=http://www.theonion.com/content/xml/80614/video&autostart=false&image=http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/FEEDBAGS_article.jpg&bufferlength=3&embedded=true& title=New%20Wearable%20Feedbags%20Let%20Americans% 20Eat%20More%2C%20Move%20Less"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/new_wearable_feedbags_let?utm_source=embedded_vide o">New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less</a>
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