The Roast of David Hasselhoff

[sadams33]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

I forgot who made the joke, holding there hand up to there ear like hulk does and says what's that sound it's a 19yr olds balls bouncing off hulks ex wife chin i thought that was hilarious

[BU1919]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

I forgot who made the joke, holding there hand up to there ear like hulk does and says what's that sound it's a 19yr olds balls bouncing off hulks ex wife chin i thought that was hilarious

Lisa Lampanelli

[mgoblue]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

I forgot who made the joke, holding there hand up to there ear like hulk does and says what's that sound it's a 19yr olds balls bouncing off hulks ex wife chin i thought that was hilarious

Now that one was quality and well thought out...the gay jokes just were meh to me, but that one had me dying.

[KingV2k3]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Whitney Cummings (sp?) she's pretty funny.

I never heard if her before, but she was pretty funny and VERY HOTT, IMHO...

Looks good and must be a riot to hang with...

I will watch anybody roast anybody, but that said...this one was pretty darn good!

[Bellsprout]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Just went browsing in the iTunes Comedy section and was greeted with Whitney Cummings staring at me. Apparently she just released a CD. Just an FYI.

[KingV2k3]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Just went browsing in the iTunes Comedy section and was greeted with Whitney Cummings staring at me. Apparently she just released a CD. Just an FYI.

Hopefully the CD release will lead to some promo tour stops on the talk show circuit and some photos in Maxim...



Also: your new Beadle gif rocks...literally!

[Nivek]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Here are Whitney Cumming jokes that didn't make the air via Howard Stern this morning:



Seth mcfarlane. You’ve officially done the impossible. You’re a multi millionaire, you’ve created successful shows, you can help my career, yet I still don’t want to **** you.

What a bunch of idiots. I haven’t seen this many dicks up close since pilot season.

Jerry springer, george Hamilton. Everyone up here is so old. I didn’t realize comedy central’s demographic was heaven.

Everyone is talking about how I gave sexual favors to be here. No. This is embarrassing. I’d blow someone to get off this show.

Jerry Springer? George Hamilton? I couldn’t blow anyone here if I wanted to–none of these men can get erections.

If I blew someone up here I wouldn’t be on comedy central I’d be on the history channel.

jerry springer, jeff ross, greg giraldo. This dias is so useless and gross, pam is probably going to try to **** it it.

Jeff Ross.

Jeff, why aren’t you successful? You’ve had so many chances to make it. Your career moves slower than lisa lampanellis metabolism.

I wouldn’t **** you if I was hulk Hogan and you were brooke Hogan.

Lisa lampanelli

lisa, you spend all this time talking about how you have sex with black guys. Nobody is having sex with you. Your vagina gets hit less than jeff ross’s IMDB page.

jerry springer

Everyone on your show is disgusting, ignorant, toothless, white trash. Basically everything pam needs to have an orgasm.

Pam Anderson

Pam and hoff worked together for a long time. You two are like a famous duo. You two are like Abbott and a slut with hepatitis.

Pam, Your vagina is like the finale of lost: 10 million people have seen it, everyone was disappointed, and everyone who was in it died.

Pam its ironic that you’re an animal rights activist. If you love animals so much why don’t you boycott your leathery face.

Pam, You’re like kate gosselin. You’re a old, you’re blonde, and you’re a fame whore. The only difference is the 8 babies that came out of your vagina were aborted.

Hulk Hogan

I have seen your daughter, Brooke Hogan. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. No, I mean she literally looks like she fell out of a tree.

Your daughter Brooke inherited a lot from you: her blonde hair, her tan skin, her dick.

Hoff

Hoff, you’re like george hamiltons dick. you don’t work.

You’ve spent years of your life on baywatch with pam Anderson, Carmen electra and yasmeen bleeth. If you don’t have genital warts, I think hepatitis c owes Tommy Lee an apology.

You’ve been around more herpes infested vaginas than a toilet at the kardashians house.

David hasslehoff is such ****ty actor that if there was a movie made about the life of david hasslehoff, the actor they’d hire to play him would be david hasslehoff.

Ive seen your music videos it seems like you’re trying to do an elvis thing with the swagger and deep voice. Too bad you didn’t go all the way with the elvis thing and have talent and kill yourself.

Hulk Hogan isn’t the only horrible father up here. hasslehoff has two daughters as well. Between the two of you you’ve brought more more dumb whores into the world than sarah palin.

[Bellsprout]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Pam and hoff worked together for a long time. You two are like a famous duo. You two are like Abbott and a slut with hepatitis.

Why wasn't that on TV? That's one of the better (and meanest) jokes I heard from that roast.

[WazzuRC]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff



Those unaired jokes were hilarious.

[BDKiiing]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Hulkamania runnin' wild all over the Roast.

Is Pam Anderson's top see through?

yea it was, but if you thought that was bad you shoulda seen her shirt on her roast.

I never heard if her before, but she was pretty funny and VERY HOTT, IMHO...

Looks good and must be a riot to hang with...

I will watch anybody roast anybody, but that said...this one was pretty darn good!

ill second that

[Brandwin]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

I think Whitney Cummings has a special on Comedy Central this weekend.

[Bellsprout]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

That is true.

Whitney Cummings' Money Shot is the name. Saturday at 11:30 ET. If they're premiering it that late, it must be dirty.

Not school appropriate, but fairly tame compared to some of the jokes we posted in this thread:
<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.jokes.com'>Jokes.com</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'></td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://comedians.comedycentral.com/whitney-cummings/videos/whitney-cummings---copying-porn-moves'>Whitney Cummings - Copying Porn Moves</a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://comedians.comedycentral.com/'>comedians.comedycentral.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:343288' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://comedians.jokes.com/whitney-cummings/videos/'>More Whitney Cummings Videos</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://comedians.jokes.com/whitney-cummings'>Jokes from Whitney</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/roast-david-hasselhoff/index.jhtml'>Hasselhoff Roast Videos</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>

[sb24]

Re: The Roast of David Hasselhoff

Not school appropriate, but fairly tame compared to some of the jokes we posted in this thread:

I dont know why I found "school appropriate" to be funny but I did LOL.