Advice..please

[Kevin26385]

Just a prior warning, this will probably be a long dumb post..But noone else listens.

Probably noones cares, but i need to get something out somewhere. Im having the hardest time with everything in my life right now. Everything from friends and family. Not even knowing if im worth anything to anyone right now. It started like 2 years ago. I had a best friend ( named nick) unseperable from him, i think i hung out with him everyday in 8th grade.

Then highschool started, he got a girlfriend..Basically ditched me. Probably called me 5 times in the past 2 years. Im very quite, so its hard enough trying to find friends..But when he ditched me, he still talked to me..just never ever called me, found a huge group of friends and hung out with them..Had parties..didnt invite me.

Yes i have the occasional friend here and there, but noone to hang out with. I hang out with a girl sometimes during lunch, best friend with my problem..extremely attractive. But dont know if im going to be hanging out with her anymore because my brother leaves for college.

Anyways back to the friend situation. A couple of weeks ago he had invited me to a party, wasnt going to go at all. Only reason i went was because my brothers exgirlfriend said she would definitly hang out with me and talk to me. So i said whynot, if she talks to me..i wont be lonely for 3 hours ( its hard for me to start conversations with anyone im not very comfortable with) So i go to the party..Friend (nick) of..lets see 8 years now, says like 2 sentences to me. Then the girl says absolutely nothing, just completly blew me off.

I felt like ****, so i said f**k it and just left the party...Ended up calling my brother and hanging out with him and his friends. Did that for awhile, but then i dont even get to hang out with him anymore. He said i couldnt go to a party tonight with his friends.

It just sucks..I dont feel wanted at all. I feel like **** and i wish it would all end..I hate my personality, my best friend ( or old friend i guess) gets everything cause he is loud...every girl adores him.

I just wish i was number 1 in someones life, I just feel like if i died right now..ofcourse people would care, but it wouldnt be a big deal.

Yeah i probably shouldnt of posted this here..But i needed to get stuff out, i wish i could tell a person. But i have absolutely nothing.

Man...I dont remember the last time i have cried..and i have cried so much tonight.

Im not asking you to feel sorry for me..but i dont know if anyone has any advice. I need to get out of here and do something. I just wish i was a huge part of someones life..I have spent the past 2 years bymyself..its just cought up to me..And it sucks..so bad.

thanks for reading if you did..you dont know how much i appreciate

[deeman11747]

Re: Advice..please

Life is all about adjustments. If there's something you dont like about yourself.. change it. No one can do it for you except for you. If you dont like that you're shy.. you need to take the intiative to be more outgoing. If you have a good personality... people will like you for who you are... you just need to give them a chance to see who you are.

I used to be shy when I was much younger but I hated that feeling so I did something about it and as hard as it was at first.. I changed it and people started seeing me for who I was and I couldnt be happier these last few years.

Dont sit back and wait for things to get better on its own. You need to take the initiative and make things happen yourself.

[NYJets]

Re: Advice..please

Alcohol

[Kevin26385]

Re: Advice..please

I do realize that..but the thing that gets me is my best friend..How he ditched me..for no reason. We never fought..the 10 years we hung out.

Then all of a sudden he just ditches me

[Beantown]

Re: Advice..please

What grade are you in?(Frosh? Soph? Junior?)

Like deeman said, if you don't like being shy, you have to change that yourself.

Figure out what exactly it is that makes you shy. Fear of rejection? Afraid of making a fool of yourself? Just timid overall?

May not like the idea...but professional help, a counseling sessions set-up through your doctor, could really help. They could help pinpoint what's wrong, maybe give you a solution better than anyone on here can.

[Bighoff]

Re: Advice..please

I understand how you feel. I've found that I don't keep friends that long, I'd had a best friend that I knew for 6 years, form 5th grade to 11th, but we started to seperate before our Senior year, and I haven't talked to anyone I know in HS. Really all through your HS year you'll find most people are shallow and only care about themselves. If you can find a friend that lasts from HS then you're lucky. I've gone through this world alone for the last 11 years, it's not too bad, not the best but it's not the end of the world. You'll find people to hang with, maybe not friends but people you can hang with. Maybe I aint the best person to be giving advice though cause I've always not minded being alone, I played sports in HS, and went to partys, but got bored with all the BS that was involved with those parties. The only thing I can tell you is things will get better, it might not happen immedatly, but it will get better.

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Advice..please

Something new in your life might help too... My personal move to college was exactly what I needed... I was in a rut, and now I feel like I own the world.

I also agree with dee... basically you have to find a way to build up your confidence, then everything else will fall into place, at least I feel that way.

If you can find someone who will be your friend regardless of **** that goes down, you keep that person. Unluckily for me, my friend that is that for me is in South Carolina and it's hard to keep in touch.

Keep your head up, and keep up with your studies. They come in handy!

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Advice..please

Alcohol

I would disagree with him. Alcohol doesn't solve a damn thing, it only masks it and makes you unaware of them until you get over a hangover and it's either the same or worst.

[Peji911]

Re: Advice..please

Bro, it takes a real MAN to post wut u just did...

Im the same way as u, quite until i get to know ppl. I have fake courage tho, if im with friends im loud, if im in like, a class, im quiet which is bad cuz seminar participation is huge.

Anyways, its just a self confidence thing man, thats all. Like, i know so many ppl and get along with everyone i meet and ppl are the ones trying to befriend me, not the other way around, yet im also so quiet around ppl i dont know--wut im saying is that regardless if im popular or not, its my personality so ive grown to accept it.

Trust me here tho man. Talk to ppl, even if you get the feeling they dont wanna be buddies with u, continue. Pick sumthin u wanna talk about, like the bears or w/e, anything both of u are interested in, and i guarentee u'll make friends easily. Im almost done my masters in psychology and deal with this alot. If u wanna talk more personally and get sum input, send me ur msn or sumthin via PM.. hopefullly everything works out bro, i understand u completely

[Vince]

Re: Advice..please

Wow, I'd say about 3/4 teens go through something like this at 16 years of age...

You'll get over it.

Tip: Go out tomorrow afternoon and say hi to about 5 random decent looking girls about your age that you see. Just do it.

[Kevin26385]

Re: Advice..please

Its exactly how i am..If im in a group with friends i hang out with all the time, i can be very loud. But i havent had that in so long.

And no matter what i really dont talk in class..cause as i said above, Im never comfortable or good friends with everyone in class.

[Scottdau]

Re: Advice..please

Its exactly how i am..If im in a group with friends i hang out with all the time, i can be very loud. But i havent had that in so long.

And no matter what i really dont talk in class..cause as i said above, Im never comfortable or good friends with everyone in class.

I know this might be hard to hear, but these time in your life like HS are so minuet. What I mean about that is the friends you have now will probably not even be your friends later in life. HS is such a small part of your life. All I can say is concentrate on getting a good education and learning what kind of job you want when you get older. People told me that and I didn't listen, so that is my advice. So time a trip when I think about the thing I care about as teen. Now I just laugh the people that I tried to impress or become like I don't even see them anymore lol That is what is funny about life, especially High School! lol Good luck bro!

[CaptainZombie]

Re: Advice..please

Something new in your life might help too... My personal move to college was exactly what I needed... I was in a rut, and now I feel like I own the world.

I also agree with dee... basically you have to find a way to build up your confidence, then everything else will fall into place, at least I feel that way.

If you can find someone who will be your friend regardless of **** that goes down, you keep that person. Unluckily for me, my friend that is that for me is in South Carolina and it's hard to keep in touch.

Keep your head up, and keep up with your studies. They come in handy!

I have to agree with Giggas on this.

You need to make some adjustments in your life to make you happy. I used to have a hard time talking to people years ago, but I overcame that. It's that icebreaker stage that you have to get over.

You always need to remember, in this life you will lose and gain new friends as the years go by. I used to have a boatload of friends, but once I started having kids things changed. Sometimes people weren't understanding of me having kids so it ended up in loss of friendships. I only have 1 real good friend that we don't even talk as much as we used to.

I know down the road that I'll make other friends and that it's not the end of the world. I know life might suck right now, but please don't talk about death, I hate hearing those type of things from people. Your family cares about you, people also I guess want to do their own thing.

I know this might be hard to hear, but these time in your life like HS are so minuet. What I mean about that is the friends you have now will probably not even be your friends later in life. HS is such a small part of your life. All I can say is concentrate on getting a good education and learning what kind of job you want when you get older. People told me that and I didn't listen, so that is my advice. So time a trip when I think about the thing I care about as teen. Now I just laugh the people that I tried to impress or become like I don't even see them anymore lol That is what is funny about life, especially High School! lol Good luck bro!

I agree with Scott, that not too many people still stay friends with people from HS. It's my experience and many others that I know.

Where I went to school, we had the popular crowd, the in-between crowd, and the frowned upon crowd. I was in-between crowd, talked with the popular crowd + with people from the frowned upon crowd. I look back at this day and many of the popular people are losers this day, living like a bunch of trash. All I can do is sit back and laugh as back then they had the world in their hands during a period in life that matters, but not like what matters when your an adult with a family. I know in my head, I may have not been the popular kid but I've been very successful as an adult.

I use frowned upon since I don't want to say dorks or anything of that nature.

Good luck


PS. Kev, one month were going from wanting to sell the 360 for a HDTV since you have no time to hang out with your friends and play games to not having any friends this month. Did you lose all your friends that quick?

[X*Cell]

Re: Advice..please

Wow, I'd say about 3/4 teens go through something like this at 16 years of age...

You'll get over it.

Tip: Go out tomorrow afternoon and say hi to about 5 random decent looking girls about your age that you see. Just do it.

Kev, this right here, might seem simple-minded, but Vince was right on the money here. I used to have trouble talking to girls, because I was afraid of embarrassing myself, but then you just gotta go out and be comfortable in your skin and get loud. Talking to people you don't really know, will get you on the right track.

I have really high-confidence when it comes to females now, and it pays off, because they see it too.

When its not about females, and you just want to have more friends in general, you have to initiate the conversation. Just have it in your mind, that since you are your own person, you always have something to offer (that the person talking to you doesn't have b/c they aren't you)... that alone should get you feeling more comfortable.

And HS friends... I've had around "15" of em... ya know how many I really hang out with now, just 3 months after graduation? THREE! That's really how it's supposed to be.

[Kevin26385]

Re: Advice..please

Well everything is going alot better now..

My brothers best friend, who was a girl that is in my grade ( yet a year older than me) are getting along great. We had a whole situation with my brothers ex girlfriend, which we were both on the same side..so we got alot closer. And we hang out also which is cool.

And me and my friends ( who are my brothers best friends) are doing something tomorrow.

Dont know why but i really dont have any friends my age, not sure why but i dont mind