Friends/Bestfriends?

[Hassan Darkside]

Well, as of the past couple years, I've been generally feeling depressed/pissed off. A lot of time for no particular reason that I can seem to put a finger on. Until as of late. Well I'm at a pretty pivotal time in my life because I just graduated HS (finally ), yet, like for everyone, there's a few things you either regret or think you regret that might not even matter in the future.

But I think I have a problem. It's the lack of outlets I really have. I played football which really let me get some aggression out, but I lacked the ability to point aggression towards particular things, so I really struggled to focus my anger to the guy across me in football. That's not to say I had a bad year, I won a couple awards and whatnot. But I'm not here to talk about football.

I think that one of the problems I have is that I don't have a really, really good friend that I feel I can trust with everything. Due to some (pretty) embarrassing living/family/financial conditions, I just feel like I can't tell anybody. This leads me to the inadequate solution which brings me to this other problem. I'm starting to feel like I replaced a good friend with the internet. This is probably because the more I think about it, the more they compare. A best friend doesn't judge you...nor does the internet (because they don't know you). That's probably why some of us feel like it's easier to communicate online.

Anyway, this lack of best friend seems to be eating me alive. Of course, the practical solution is "find one." Lol, but to me it's not that easy. First off, I pretty much swallow everything that happens in my life. I don't know anybody that can relate to me and I don't know who I can really trust.

I used to have a "best" friend throughout elementary school and middle school, but as you guys know, things change in high school. We stopped hanging out, different classes, different ideas of what we want to pursue in the future. And we grew apart. We still talk and whatever, but I used to talk to him daily, on the phone, I used to go over to his house all the time. Now it's different. I think part of it is my supreme lack in transportation. As I said before, I'm 18 and can't drive yet, so I feel like I missed a decent portion of my junior and senior year, which turned out to be a couple of the most stressful of my life.

Anyway, I don't know what to do, I don't know who to trust, I don't know who I can confide in. I don't know if it's really that important either, I just want you guys' take on it.

Edit: I also keep to myself a lot because of these situations, so I'm not a real social person, nor very outgoing. I'll do stuff if I have to though. To me, I feel pretty self-conscious at times and find myself even at unease around people I've grown up with.

[Scottdau]

Re: Friends/Bestfriends?

Well, as of the past couple years, I've been generally feeling depressed/pissed off. A lot of time for no particular reason that I can seem to put a finger on. Until as of late. Well I'm at a pretty pivotal time in my life because I just graduated HS (finally ), yet, like for everyone, there's a few things you either regret or think you regret that might not even matter in the future.

But I think I have a problem. It's the lack of outlets I really have. I played football which really let me get some aggression out, but I lacked the ability to point aggression towards particular things, so I really struggled to focus my anger to the guy across me in football. That's not to say I had a bad year, I won a couple awards and whatnot. But I'm not here to talk about football.

I think that one of the problems I have is that I don't have a really, really good friend that I feel I can trust with everything. Due to some (pretty) embarrassing living/family/financial conditions, I just feel like I can't tell anybody. This leads me to the inadequate solution which brings me to this other problem. I'm starting to feel like I replaced a good friend with the internet. This is probably because the more I think about it, the more they compare. A best friend doesn't judge you...nor does the internet (because they don't know you). That's probably why some of us feel like it's easier to communicate online.

Anyway, this lack of best friend seems to be eating me alive. Of course, the practical solution is "find one." Lol, but to me it's not that easy. First off, I pretty much swallow everything that happens in my life. I don't know anybody that can relate to me and I don't know who I can really trust.

I used to have a "best" friend throughout elementary school and middle school, but as you guys know, things change in high school. We stopped hanging out, different classes, different ideas of what we want to pursue in the future. And we grew apart. We still talk and whatever, but I used to talk to him daily, on the phone, I used to go over to his house all the time. Now it's different. I think part of it is my supreme lack in transportation. As I said before, I'm 18 and can't drive yet, so I feel like I missed a decent portion of my junior and senior year, which turned out to be a couple of the most stressful of my life.

Anyway, I don't know what to do, I don't know who to trust, I don't know who I can confide in. I don't know if it's really that important either, I just want you guys' take on it.

Edit: I also keep to myself a lot because of these situations, so I'm not a real social person, nor very outgoing. I'll do stuff if I have to though. To me, I feel pretty self-conscious at times and find myself even at unease around people I've grown up with.

My take would be find a hobby like working out or soemthing else. Also, find what you want to do for a job. If it is going to college put a lot energry in that. I wish I did when I was younger. You are at the best part of your life right now, so make the most out of it. Find a direction and go for it, I have one good friend, but we only talk on the phone maybe two times a week. If you really want soemone to confide in look for soemone you trust. Maybe someone that has the same interest as you, but the best advice I can give you is find a career and really put a lot of affort in reaching that career. Hope that helps in some way, this is a good site and you will get some great advice, so good luck bro.

If you really want a best friend go fine someone you like. But just know this even best friends can hurt you. They are only human. If you really want a best friend, you will find one. I believe that is you want something bad enough you do all you can to get it. It is like at my work, the kids that want to change are the ones that change and don't come back to jail. So if you want a best friend go out and look for one. The best way to find a friend is find things you both like. Just know it will take awhile before you build that best friend type of friendship. It takes awhile, so don't trip. It will happen if you want it too.

[Hassan Darkside]

Re: Friends/Bestfriends?

Thanks. I do work out and I have been for the last 5 years or so, but a problem I run into a lot is a lack of conversation. As I said before, I'm not a very vocal guy. What really sucks about it is that I'm a sports freak and it's pathetic that the only thing I can seem to carry on a conversation about is sports.

But I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I feel like a Psychologist studying the behavior of people lol. Sometimes I "observe" people and what they're talking about. I'd say 70% of the time it's a lot of gossip. Dumb stuff I don't really even want to be part of. How so-and-so's hooking up with whoever, or how she stiffed him, or whoever's party or whatever. But that's high school for you.

That was one good thing about sports though, you meet a lot of people and you find yourself making friends with people who you thought were so much cooler than you. But I don't think that I'll be so embarrassed by family, living, and financial situations once I breakaway to college.

[stewaat]

Re: Friends/Bestfriends?

Get involved in the sports available at the school you go to. You immediately make friends that way...obviously they will have the same interests. For the mostpart the social life doesn't change much from high school to college. College is a lot of talking about how trashed you got the previous night.

[Scottdau]

Re: Friends/Bestfriends?

Thanks. I do work out and I have been for the last 5 years or so, but a problem I run into a lot is a lack of conversation. As I said before, I'm not a very vocal guy. What really sucks about it is that I'm a sports freak and it's pathetic that the only thing I can seem to carry on a conversation about is sports.

But I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I feel like a Psychologist studying the behavior of people lol. Sometimes I "observe" people and what they're talking about. I'd say 70% of the time it's a lot of gossip. Dumb stuff I don't really even want to be part of. How so-and-so's hooking up with whoever, or how she stiffed him, or whoever's party or whatever. But that's high school for you.

That was one good thing about sports though, you meet a lot of people and you find yourself making friends with people who you thought were so much cooler than you. But I don't think that I'll be so embarrassed by family, living, and financial situations once I breakaway to college.

That is about 99% of guys. We love sports, so we can talk about them all the time. I give you one example. My wife's friend had affair on her husband and while they were together I like here husband and would consider him a friend, but this new guy is into sports and I like him better. lol Oh well. any ways. You have to remember you are still young and all that stuff you mention about he said this and that is going to be apart of your age groups life. Some day they will out grow it. So if you are into that, find friends that are not into that too, or that are older.