Question

[jct32]

I have a problem and I was wondering if anyone else has this problem and or can help me with it. I have a problem with conversation when there are other people around usually around 3+ people and I just get nervous and usually say stupid stuff, but it is the worst when there are girls around. I can talk with people fine one on one, but if I'm in a big group, (ex student section at a football game) or talking to someone I never met or don't talk to much, I am pretty much socially handicapped. Also I don't hang out with my friends outside of school, usually because I don't want them to come over to my house and I don't feel like inviting myself over. Being a Junior in high school I thought this would be over by now, and it hasn't gone away. Is there anything I can do to help myself out, I don't want to live life like this for the rest of my life.

[Cebby]

Re: Question

Just be a little loose.

And with your friends, just call them up. Seriously, you're just over thinking yourself. What's the worst that can happen?

On the otherhand, realize that there isn't all that much going on outside. This isn't the movies and 90% of things everyone says is ridiculously exaggerated.

[SlimKibbles]

Re: Question

I agree with Soldier. Also, I really loosened up a lot when I got to college, at least it was a lot for me. You're just a young pup, dude. In time things will change for you. However, you have to make a conscious effort to change things sometimes too. Stay focused on just being relaxed in situations like that. Don't worry too much about what you're going to say. If you're like me, you worry about what others think about you or how they will react. It's tough but you can't worry about that so much. I'm 30 and I still do it sometimes, but I've gotten better over the years and have tried to make a conscious effort to not let that bother me so much. I can tell you though, I went from someone who was shy in high school, who only had a few close friends to someone who will talk to anyone and that has a large group of friends and acquaintances.

[dkgojackets]

Re: Question

Just call up your friends or ask them in school if they want to come over and play cards or xbox or something. Heck if its that hard and your that nervous, go ahead and buy a couple movie tickets and invite them. No ones gong to turn down a free movie.

Not only is hanging out fun, but it also gives you conversation material in large groups. In a group with my friends and other people we just talk about playing poker and basketball and such together.

[Herbsinator]

Re: Question

I have a problem and I was wondering if anyone else has this problem and or can help me with it. I have a problem with conversation when there are other people around usually around 3+ people and I just get nervous and usually say stupid stuff, but it is the worst when there are girls around. I can talk with people fine one on one, but if I'm in a big group, (ex student section at a football game) or talking to someone I never met or don't talk to much, I am pretty much socially handicapped. Also I don't hang out with my friends outside of school, usually because I don't want them to come over to my house and I don't feel like inviting myself over. Being a Junior in high school I thought this would be over by now, and it hasn't gone away. Is there anything I can do to help myself out, I don't want to live life like this for the rest of my life.

Think about trying out for a sport...gives you confidence, helps you meet people, and gives you something to talk about.

[fishepa]

Re: Question

Being 29 I can safely tell you whatever happens in high school really doesn't matter at all, no matter how much you think it will.

[Stu]

Re: Question

You just need to realize that in 10 years you're not going to be friends with, hang out with or even see 99.5% of the people that you know now. If you don't care what any of them think of you, there's no reason to be nervous.

[Herbsinator]

Re: Question

You just need to realize that in 10 years you're not going to be friends with, hang out with or even see 99.5% of the people that you know now. If you don't care what any of them think of you, there's no reason to be nervous.

Yeah, but that doesn't do him any good when he is sitting at home with nothing to do right now.

[Pared]

Re: Question

That doesn't mean he has to become a social outcast now though, fellas.

Why don't you ask yourself what is it that you're doing differently with a group of people? Are you trying too hard to impress them?

Think of the sort of "stupid" things you would say around others and don't say them... Also, saying things with a smile and some confidence (even if it is fake) will go a long way...

[GSW]

Re: Question

Being 29 I can safely tell you whatever happens in high school really doesn't matter at all, no matter how much you think it will.

Amen.

jct,

dont even trip man. A friend of mine went through the same thing. What you should do is just find the things that intrest you and find friends who have the same intrests. that way, when your in a big group, you wont get so nervous.

Also do you get nervous around girls you think look hot? or is it just any girl in general. Like are you just scared you mgiht say something crazy?... if so. the only thing i can say is relax. High School is all about getting to learn people skills. so dont get too frustrated. just keep on keeping on and youll get it.

what you dont want to do is isolate yourself. If your just nervous people (your friends) will make fun of you for being you, then they arent your "friends" and Id find new people to hang out with.

[youvalss]

Re: Question

I have the same problem. I get nervous too when there are some people around and might even turn red...I can't really see any solution. When I was in college I had to speak in front of 20-30 people more than once and I though I would die. But I stayed alive and made it. There's no easy way to handle it IMO, just be strong and even though your heart is probably beating fast - keep going. The more u keep going the better u feel...But every situation it's all over again. As for girls - it's natural, you're not alone with that. Just be strong and keep going - don't stop.
As British comedien John Cleese once said: Every1 has one wish: to die after never being embarrassed even once in life.
Hope it makes u feel better somehow.

[jct32]

Re: Question

Wow I was busy yesterday and didn't get to check the forums I come back and see two pages, thanks guys I appreciate it. I am making strides this week. I guess that post just inspired me, you know I had to realize that I need to get a little more active socially. Right now I am about to leave to go play some football with some friends which will be the first time in awhile I have hung out with friends, and I also made a D-Fence sign for our homecoming game tommorow, and I'm going to try to see if this girl will hold it up with me. I guess I didn't have any confindence or anything. Once again thanks for the support guys and I guess I will try to update you as I go along.

[CMH]

Re: Question

Wow I was busy yesterday and didn't get to check the forums I come back and see two pages, thanks guys I appreciate it. I am making strides this week. I guess that post just inspired me, you know I had to realize that I need to get a little more active socially. Right now I am about to leave to go play some football with some friends which will be the first time in awhile I have hung out with friends, and I also made a D-Fence sign for our homecoming game tommorow, and I'm going to try to see if this girl will hold it up with me. I guess I didn't have any confindence or anything. Once again thanks for the support guys and I guess I will try to update you as I go along.

I think the first step is seeing this in yourself and wanting to make that change.

Advice is great but I always feel that in personal emotional situations like this the best advice comes from yourself. I believe that you know what you want to do to overcome what you believe is a stronghold on your social life. And it seems that you are doing just that at the moment.

Have fun out there.

[jct32]

Re: Question

Little update

Just go back from football, it was fun. I pulled a Reggie Bush on a kick return, I called that girl to ask her but no answer, so I'm waiting on her to call me back, if that doesn't happen I'll just go ask her at school tomorrow which would be alot harder for me but I think I can pull it off.

[CMH]

Re: Question

Little update

Just go back from football, it was fun. I pulled a Reggie Bush on a kick return, I called that girl to ask her but no answer, so I'm waiting on her to call me back, if that doesn't happen I'll just go ask her at school tomorrow which would be alot harder for me but I think I can pull it off.

Alright! Go for it.