The first part is kind of corny, but the second part has some funny stuff.
THE HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY >>
>>
Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running. >>
> >
Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose. >>
> >
Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat. >>
> >
Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer. >>
> >
Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge. >>
> >
Goblin: How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween. >>
> >
Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde." >>
> >
Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin. >>
> >
Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week. >>
> >
Mummy: Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee. >>
> >
Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking. >>
> >
Skeleton: Any supermodel. >>
>>
Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with. >>
> >
Witch: See "Mother-in-Law." >>
>>
Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.
>>
> >
> >
Fun With Trick-or-Treaters >>
>>
>>
-- Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.) >>
>>
-- Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell,Trick or Treat! Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. >>
> >
-- Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, Top Secret in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door. >>
> >
-- Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party. >>
> >
-- Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural whirring sound. >>
> >
-- Hand them your child's school fund raiser ordering sheet and insist that they buy their own candy. >>
> >
-- After you give them candy, hand the trick-or- treaters a bill. >>
> >
-- Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away. >>
> >
-- When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!" >>
> >
-- When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away. >>
> >
-- Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list. >>
> >
-- Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house. >>
>>
-- When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can. >>
> >
-- Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter. >>
> >
-- Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay. >>
> >
-- Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy. >>
> >
-- Hand out cigarettes and bottles of aspirin. >>
> >
-- Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch; Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin. >>
> >
-- Open the door and say, "TRICK!" then close the door.
BTW I jacked a certain someone for this lol.
THE HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY >>
>>
Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running. >>
> >
Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose. >>
> >
Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat. >>
> >
Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer. >>
> >
Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge. >>
> >
Goblin: How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween. >>
> >
Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde." >>
> >
Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin. >>
> >
Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week. >>
> >
Mummy: Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee. >>
> >
Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking. >>
> >
Skeleton: Any supermodel. >>
>>
Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with. >>
> >
Witch: See "Mother-in-Law." >>
>>
Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.
>>
> >
> >
Fun With Trick-or-Treaters >>
>>
>>
-- Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.) >>
>>
-- Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell,Trick or Treat! Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. >>
> >
-- Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, Top Secret in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door. >>
> >
-- Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party. >>
> >
-- Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural whirring sound. >>
> >
-- Hand them your child's school fund raiser ordering sheet and insist that they buy their own candy. >>
> >
-- After you give them candy, hand the trick-or- treaters a bill. >>
> >
-- Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away. >>
> >
-- When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!" >>
> >
-- When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away. >>
> >
-- Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list. >>
> >
-- Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house. >>
>>
-- When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can. >>
> >
-- Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter. >>
> >
-- Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay. >>
> >
-- Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy. >>
> >
-- Hand out cigarettes and bottles of aspirin. >>
> >
-- Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch; Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin. >>
> >
-- Open the door and say, "TRICK!" then close the door.
BTW I jacked a certain someone for this lol.