So far it's been a real pain in the butt for me. Aside from the screwed up sleep schedule, its caused me to lose a really close friend, start doing poorly in school (due to anxiety attacks, lack of concentration, and oversleeping), made me get easily annoyed with myself, has made my parents & friends worry about me, and has put a strain on some of my friendships at times. I've learned to never go to the hospital when things are feeling iffy because psych wards are not fun in the least bit and not a place people with depression should be (well, not the hardcore ones). And the most important thing I've learned is that no matter how much of a burden you think you will be, friends and family will always step up to help you in any way they can.
I can find relief in some things, but when I do seek relief, I look lazy. Using a computer relaxes me; playing video games relaxes me; spending time with my family and pets relaxes me. School and work do quite the opposite. So if I try to "get myself off of the ledge", I just look like the run of the mill slacker college student. That's unfortunate too because I graduated from high school with a 4.0 GPA and had perfect attendance 3 out of the 4 years.
Honestly I don't really know why I typed all of this out other than I feel like venting and doing so to a somewhat receptive audience. I'm sure some of you here share these same feelings.
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