Gaming time for your child

[Hammerhunker]

I have a 12 year old son who has gamed since he was 4. He started out watching me, then took over the PS1. He surpassed me in ability very quickly. His talents are impressive. He will absolutely devour a game. He will complete the game within a day or two to get the hang of the game itself, then go back and pick apart the game, not kid games, but games like Oblivion, The Halos, etc.

Here is our problem, this is all that he wants to do. We try limiting his time, but we slip and he takes advantage. When he is off the game, he goes to the computer to research the game from message boards and other sources. Being a coach, I have a son that has not developed physically as I would have hoped. He won't shoot baskets or anything physical. I know he gravitates toward gaming because he is good at it, it makes him happy, and it challenges him (unlike school where he effortlessly has never gotten anything under an A). He is a great kid, no problems, but I feel there is a problem.

I am always preaching moderation. I try to model moderate gaming times for him by not playing for long lengths of time, and by partaking in other activities.

Could some of you parents of gaming children please share with me your philosophy on gaming and your techniques in handling the gaming time? Any younger gamers, how do your parents handle your gaming time? Hopefully this discussion turns out to be informative and worthwhile for not only me but others who are or will be facing the same problem.

[Beantown]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Does he have friends? And that is an honest question.

[HustlinOwl]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Great topic, my son is 4 and I let him jump on the game whenever I am playing or let him play something by himself. I really think it games are a good thing. You are right though that some things must be done in moderation, but at the same time times are different from when you or I grew up. There was always something going on outside and we hardly never had to join leagues to play sports. There were always pickup games outside or we would go to the field and play baseball, but nowadays you never see that. Everything is organized and the cost is ridiculous IMO, not saying that I will not pay for my kids to join leagues if that is what they choose to do, but there needs to be some sort of system in place for those kids that cannot afford it. Letting parents help within the league like concessions, maintenance, scheduling, vanpooling, whatever. If you son seems to be doing well in school then it is kinda hard to use gaming as some sort of reward, but again monitoring the games he plays is big IMO. Halo for a twelve year old is okay, but I would never let my son or anyone under ten see or play a game like that. I know now I have to wait to play GTA IV until my son goes to bed. When you mention physically do you mean athletic or he is on the heavier side. If thats the case then you might want to do some things as a family, bike rides, walks, etc. I am sure I will experience all of these things very soon.

[HustlinOwl]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Does he have friends? And that is an honest question.

Im sure the kid has friends and Im positive they all do the same thing

[Beantown]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Im sure the kid has friends and Im positive they all do the same thing

Yeah, that is what I was wondering.

If he has a group of friends, if he is happy, if he is having fun, and if he is still getting good grades in school...there really isn't much wrong with it.

I understand that you want more physical activity and such, but he's still young. I'd be willing to bet that by the time he gets to high school and girls come into his life, he'll be more interested in other things.

[HustlinOwl]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Yeah, that is what I was wondering.

If he has a group of friends, if he is happy, if he is having fun, and if he is still getting good grades in school...there really isn't much wrong with it.

I understand that you want more physical activity and such, but he's still young. I'd be willing to bet that by the time he gets to high school and girls come into his life, he'll be more interested in other things.

When those hormones start kicking in Im sure he will have a whole new set of issues to deal with LOL

[Heelfan71]

Re: Gaming time for your child

sounds like you need to put a time limit on his gaming and computer per day. My son is only 4 so I don't have to worry about that now, but when he is older I am going to put a time limit on it. Maybe an hour or two per day.

[Hammerhunker]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Good replies. My son is limited on friends not because he is a freak but because of lack of boys in the area. We live in a small town, and in his class of 22, he is one of 6 boys. Two of the boys are Hispanic who speak little to no English. The buddies he does have love to, you guessed it, game. In our neighborhood, there are O boys. I have to laugh at the accuracy of the impending problems when his hormones kick in, being in a class with 16 girls

My son isn't heavy, you should see him, he is ripped, and he doesn't do anything (pisses me off, he takes after his mother). He has a six pack stomach and that lean body mass, when he matures and develops, he will be quite popular with the ladies.

Heel, there is a limit on his gaming, but old Dad is a softly, being a gamer myself. I understand him, but I know moderation is the key. My wife was nagging on me this morning to get back to the time limit. She is the hard-*** in the family, I wish she would be the enforcer so I wouldn't be the bad guy.:wink: It is hard, we said the same thing about limits, but now that it is upon us, it is hard.

Absolutely Owl about the changing of times. Everything has to be organized, most kids can't just, play.

I don't know the answers. This is what sucks about parenting, you have one shot, on the fly, to do it right, and you won't know how you did until it is all over.

[MassNole]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Have you thought about looking for classes where he could start to learn the basics of video game design. Lets be honest a lot of parents want their child to be a doctor, lawyer, athlete, or engineer but video game design is much more lucrative than any of those fields. From what you said he is extremely intelligent and if he can pick these games up and beat them with little to no effort coupled with straight A's, I would try to explore that interest and nurture that career path at a very young age. I know in my area they have computer camps over the summer, perhaps something like that would suit him well.

[Hammerhunker]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Have you thought about looking for classes where he could start to learn the basics of video game design. Lets be honest a lot of parents want their child to be a doctor, lawyer, athlete, or engineer but video game design is much more lucrative than any of those fields. From what you said he is extremely intelligent and if he can pick these games up and beat them with little to no effort coupled with straight A's, I would try to explore that interest and nurture that career path at a very young age. I know in my area they have computer camps over the summer, perhaps something like that would suit him well.

Wow! That is a great idea! I am not exaggerating his gaming prowess. Like I said, being a coach, I always dreamed of him being the Mustangs' starting quarterback, ace pitcher, and leading scorer in basketball, but again, he takes after his mom:wink: We are all about opportunity. We travel extensively to culture our children, due to the area in which we live. Providing him with opportunities to expand his interest in computers or gaming could be the ticket. Thank you.

I hope the rest of you fathers are taking notes...this is good stuff.

[MassNole]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Wow! That is a great idea! I am not exaggerating his gaming prowess. Like I said, being a coach, I always dreamed of him being the Mustangs' starting quarterback, ace pitcher, and leading scorer in basketball, but again, he takes after his mom:wink: We are all about opportunity. We travel extensively to culture our children, due to the area in which we live. Providing him with opportunities to expand his interest in computers or gaming could be the ticket. Thank you.

I hope the rest of you fathers are taking notes...this is good stuff.

You're welcome.

[HustlinOwl]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Good call Mass I remember in grade school my best friend got to go to space camp and how much I wanted to go, but damn was that expensive.

[X*Cell]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Have you thought about looking for classes where he could start to learn the basics of video game design. Lets be honest a lot of parents want their child to be a doctor, lawyer, athlete, or engineer but video game design is much more lucrative than any of those fields. From what you said he is extremely intelligent and if he can pick these games up and beat them with little to no effort coupled with straight A's, I would try to explore that interest and nurture that career path at a very young age. I know in my area they have computer camps over the summer, perhaps something like that would suit him well.

[slickdtc]

Re: Gaming time for your child

He's only 12. I did a lot of gaming by myself when I was around that age too. As I got into middle school and high school, I opened up socially and now gaming is second fiddle to playing sports, going out, or what have you. As a youngster, though, I did have timed gaming (one hour per day). Eventually that rule just fell away and we did what we wanted. I think the chance to limit his gaming has passed (you need to do that before they hit the teens).

[Heelfan71]

Re: Gaming time for your child

Heel, there is a limit on his gaming, but old Dad is a softly, being a gamer myself. I understand him, but I know moderation is the key. My wife was nagging on me this morning to get back to the time limit. She is the hard-*** in the family, I wish she would be the enforcer so I wouldn't be the bad guy.:wink: It is hard, we said the same thing about limits, but now that it is upon us, it is hard.

I know how you feel. You really don't want to punish him or make him feel like he is being punished. Especially if he is doing well in school. But yeah, it's up to you and mom to set and enforce time limits. Maybe have something just during the week. Sure I will be in the same position in a few years so I will be taking notes