Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

[MassNole]

I have often had this debate with my wife about who gets respect and how it is obtained. In my opinion respect is something that must first be earned and is not something just given because of one's station in life or their age. Whereas my wife believes that respect should just be given to those who are senior to you or above you in life?

So thoughts on this?

[Beantown]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Earned, without a doubt.

From my experiences, those "older" people that believe they deserve respect just based on their age are some of the most disrespectful people.

[Heelfan71]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

you should give respect to everyone IMO unless the prove they don't deserve it.

[Chaos81]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Earned, without a doubt.

From my experiences, those "older" people that believe they deserve respect just based on their age are some of the most disrespectful people.

This.

[Beantown]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

you should give respect to everyone IMO unless the prove they don't deserve it.

See, I respect everyone unless they do something that shows they don't deserve it....but you have to actually earn my respect.

That doesn't really make much sense, looking at it..

Ah ha...what I was trying to say was: I'll treat everyone with respect, unless they prove otherwise, but that doesn't meant they actually have my respect; that needs to be earned.

[Alliball]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Why can't it be both ways?

I'll show any and everybody respect until they give me a reason to think otherwise.

[jonpt]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

you should give respect to everyone IMO unless the prove they don't deserve it.

This is my opinion as well....just how I was brought up I guess.

[mgoblue]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

See, I respect everyone unless they do something that shows they don't deserve it....but you have to actually earn my respect.

That doesn't really make much sense, looking at it..

I know what you mean...Treating people with respect is different than truly respecting someone.

I treat everyone with respect until they really show they don't deserve it, but that's different than respecting someone's actions in their life. I think it takes time for someone to show what they're all about (as a person, morally, etc), so you can't just instantly respect people until you learn about how they act and treat people.

[Beantown]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

I know what you mean...Treating people with respect is different than truly respecting someone.

I treat everyone with respect until they really show they don't deserve it, but that's different than respecting someone's actions in their life. I think it takes time for someone to show what they're all about (as a person, morally, etc), so you can't just instantly respect people until you learn about how they act and treat people.

Yeah, exactly. Thank you for articulating that better than I did.

[daflyboys]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Given until it's lost. Then it must be earned back.

[MassNole]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Earned, without a doubt.

From my experiences, those "older" people that believe they deserve respect just based on their age are some of the most disrespectful people.

This is exactly what I have found too and in my profession it is just sickening. I have met older lawyers who command respect, but they also deserve it through treating everyone just as they expect to be treated, whether you are a rookie or have 50 years experience. Then there is the other side of the coin, the older lawyers who treat new lawyers like we don't even have the right to practice law (despite law school being vastly more competitive and the current bar exam being infinitely harder) and then basically demand we show them the respect they believe their seniority commands.

[DC]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

My rule

EVERYONE starts off at a zero

0 = Neutral

When you do something that I feel should LOSE you respect points; then I lose respect for you ( -1 )

When you do something that I feel should GAIN you respect points; then I give you respect ( + 1 )


This is an ongoing thing

Example: I meet somebody. He is a cool dude so far. He is at level zero. Then I see he disrespects the mother of his kids and other family members; he then moves to a -1.

So it has to be earned

And also the notion that women deserve respect just because they are women is very foolish and illogical

[DC]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

And no matter what I never SHOW disrespect to anyone. I don't believe in disrespecting (the act) anyone. You can NOT respect someone but that shouldn't cause you to DISRESPECT them

Hope that makes sense

[Maxattax3]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Golden Rule? Thats how I roll...some people dont like to play along (by the rules/norms of society)... but I can respect that too.

[fistofrage]

Re: Respect: Is it earned or should it just be given?

Everyone starts with an equal footing with me. I usually know within 5 minutes if the person is a clown or a decent person. I don't generally associate with people I don't respect on a social level. It just turns into a waste of time.

Work, its a different issue, I look at their work and keep personal items out of it. Get the job done professionally at work and what you do on your own time is your own business. But part of doing good work is respecting co-workers.