Advice about a theif

[Phobia]

Hey guys

I had a ton of drama go on last night and I need some advice on what I should do. Here is how it went.

My little cousin called me yesterday afternoon asking if I knew of anyone needing some work done for a little cash. I told him if I hear something I will be sure to let him know. This is my little cousin(24) who just got in a bad bad car accident 6 months ago or so. Rolled his jeep 6 or 7 times, was thrown out the window, landed on the payment. Shattered his skull in multiple places, blind in one eye from the shards of metal, has a couple plates in his head now. Destroyed the socket in his shoulder. Almost died multiple times in the hospital, but by a miracle made it through it all. Being that he is all **** up, he can't work and gets disability now.

He needed to make a little cash to get his cell phone turned on. So after thinking about it for 30 mins or so. I came up with a idea of how he could earn some money from me. I called and told him I would give him 30 bucks to cut my grass. He said he would, so I told him to come sign by my work and get the money then just go run to my house and cut it.

He comes over and I give him a 100$ bill, told him to pick me up something on the way to my house and just leave it on the back patio I will bring it in when I get home.

All day I spend trying to text him to see if he got it done. Never hear from him. I go home, my grass is cut but my 70 bucks and change is no where to be found. I text him saying I better get my money or wise I am gonna flip out and he does not want me to flip out.

He keeps lying to me saying he did not do it. But the bottom line is he did. Now me and his brother who is my age(28) are real close. So I call him and tell him I am about to beat his brother into the ground. I know in the back of my mind I can't do this because he is all screwed up and it would not be right. But I feel I am either going to get my 70 bucks or he is gonna get a 70 dollar *** whooping.

Now his brother keeps telling me just to beat his ***. I feel like that is the right thing to do. If it was ANYONE else, I would stomp them in the ground but being that it is him I am stuck between a rock and a moral place.

How do you think I should handle this???

[SportsTop]

Re: Advice about a theif

Honestly?

Get over it.

You knew your cousin was messed up and took a chance on trusting him with the $100 bill. I'd chalk it up as a $70 lesson learned, let him know you're disappointed in him and can never trust him again and move on from it.

[jake44np]

Re: Advice about a theif

I dont understand this story at all.
How would he have a phone to text when you said he needed money to get a phone??
Also you just say he didnt do it, what didnt he do?? Did he mow the grass or not? Are you saying he kept the $70 in change you should have had? How can he possibly say he doesnt have the $70 or say he didnt do it? Again not for sure what do it means.
But you are right you cant take the $70 out of his arse as he has been through way too much to beat him down. You are buying a one way ticket to hell if you beat up a disabled man! Just let it go and never try to help him out again.

[Phobia]

Re: Advice about a theif

I dont understand this story at all.
How would he have a phone to text when you said he needed money to get a phone??
Also you just say he didnt do it, what didnt he do?? Did he mow the grass or not? Are you saying he kept the $70 in change you should have had? How can he possibly say he doesnt have the $70 or say he didnt do it? Again not for sure what do it means.
But you are right you cant take the $70 out of his arse as he has been through way too much to beat him down. You are buying a one way ticket to hell if you beat up a disabled man! Just let it go and never try to help him out again.

Well I don't understand the whole phone situation either. From what he told me it is one of those prepay type phones. He has no mins but he can text. I don't know how it works but it does somehow. I can call him on that number and it says it is not in service, but if I text the same number it goes through.

Yes he cut the grass. But he said he left the money on the back, "Some one must of stole it from there". Well I told him to stick it in this blue bin that is kinda of pushed behind a big ladder. So no one would think to go back and look in there. So I know he is lying and just trying to pawn it off on someone else so I could just sit there and go "Damn that sucks, I can't believe someone did that". But I am not stupid and I know that story is full of holes. Considering I have like hundreds of dollars of tools just laying right near there but they did not touch none of that stuff???? only knew to move the ladder, open the blue bin, look under the books???

Naww you full of it and I want my money is what I told him.

[Pappy Knuckles]

Re: Advice about a theif

This story sounds kind of crazy, I'm not sure if I follow it. Correct me if I'm wrong on any of this.

Your cousin needed some money, so you offered him $30 to cut your grass.

You gave him $100.

You told him to pick you up something from the store and leave it on the back patio? How was he supposed to give you 70 dollars and some change when you're giving him $30 to cut the grass?

If you told him to leave your change on the patio after he cut the grass, how do you know that someone else didn't take it?


For me to give someone $100 I have to trust them pretty well. If you don't get your money back I think you might have to take the L and just not make the mistake again. Seems like the dude has been through enough without you beating him down. It sucks if he really did take your money because that's family, but it doesn't seem like you guys are that close. Like I said though, I'm not really sure if I'm reading your story right.

[Phobia]

Re: Advice about a theif

Honestly?

Get over it.

You knew your cousin was messed up and took a chance on trusting him with the $100 bill. I'd chalk it up as a $70 lesson learned, let him know you're disappointed in him and can never trust him again and move on from it.

Thats pretty much what I texted him last night on my finial text.

"I can't believe you would do me like this. I will take the loss. You have ruined a relationship with family over some petty bull****. Hope you proud of your self."

[Phobia]

Re: Advice about a theif

This story sounds kind of crazy, I'm not sure if I follow it. Correct me if I'm wrong on any of this.

Your cousin needed some money, so you offered him $30 to cut your grass.

You gave him $100.

You told him to pick you something from the store for you and leave it on the back patio? How was he supposed to give you 70 dollars and some change when you're giving him $30 to cut the grass?

If you told him to leave your change on the patio after he cut the grass, how do you know that someone else didn't take it?


For me to give someone $100 I have to trust them pretty well. If you don't get your money back I think you might have to take the L and just not make the mistake again. Seems like the dude has been through enough without you beating him down. It sucks if he really did take your money because that's family, but it doesn't seem like you guys are that close. Like I said though, I'm not really sure if I'm reading your story right.

It is a really long story. I am trying to make it as short and sweet as possible with out going into every detail.

Basically I am saying 70 because what I wanted him to pick up was not there and no change so I am out 70 bucks. So either I should of had what I told him to pick up and some change or just flat out 70 bucks.

Also I just said back patio not to go again into to much detail. But it was not just on the back patio. I have a small shed off to the side of my patio. Where I store all my tools and equipment. Well I have a blue storage bin in there with a bunch of books, in front that I had a big fiberglass ladder, on top of that bin I got all kinds of cleaning supplies. I told him to just put the money underneath the books in the bin.

Now as far as trust. Yea the dude I trusted like a brother. Gave him money multiple times. He recently just hit rock bottom pretty hard. Blowing like 30 G's in couple months. Money he got from the wreck. I am not sure if it is drugs or what but I recently heard he stole from his dad. I did not think he was stupid enough to do me like that. He knows I will go to the end of the earth to find him and put him down.

It is not the money I give a **** about. It is the fact family did that to me. Complete disrespect.

[Pappy Knuckles]

Re: Advice about a theif

Aight, just wanted to make sure I had the gist of it. That's pretty terrible man. To blow 30 G's in a couple of months and now be stealing from people that care about him shows me that the dude is seriously ****ed up. He's gonna hate himself for burning his bridges one day. No need to stomp him out for this because that's not really gonna change the situation one way or another. You know what he's about, just don't even deal with him anymore.

[jake44np]

Re: Advice about a theif

I dont know of any cell plans that lets you text when you are out of minutes, maybe that is why he is not answering your text.
If my cousin who I am very close to needed money and could not work I would just let him have the $70 and move on.

[Chef Matt]

Re: Advice about a theif

I dont know of any cell plans that lets you text when you are out of minutes, maybe that is why he is not answering your text.
If my cousin who I am very close to needed money and could not work I would just let him have the $70 and move on.

Yeah sadly sounds like it just needs to be let go. Lesson learned. He burnt a bridge, knowing that he probably won't be able to get any money from you next time is probably punishment enough. There will come a time when he needs money again and he won't be able to get it from you.

[fistofrage]

Re: Advice about a theif

Phobia,

All your other posts lead me to believe you are an intelligent guy. But there is a few things that concern me with this story.

1. You gave a person with brain damage a $100 bill and expect change.
2. You are threatening to beat up a guy with brain damage, plates in his head and a messed up shoulder.

Consider the $70 a stupid tax and move on with a lesson learned. Sorry you got burned trying to be a good guy and help someone out. Thats unfortunate. But trying to reason with someone with these types of disabilities is probably shoveling sand against the tide.

[Biffchan]

Re: Advice about a theif

Write it off as a life lesson and move on Phobia. I mean in the grand scheme of things 70 dollars isn't what, 1 1/2 hours of work? Easily recouped. I would, however, let him know in no uncertain terms that until the money is returned, he's not welcome at your house or near your family.

Casting him out will do more for him then going all Tyson on his ***, trust me.

[Phobia]

Re: Advice about a theif

Phobia,

All your other posts lead me to believe you are an intelligent guy. But there is a few things that concern me with this story.

1. You gave a person with brain damage a $100 bill and expect change.
2. You are threatening to beat up a guy with brain damage, plates in his head and a messed up shoulder.

Consider the $70 a stupid tax and move on with a lesson learned. Sorry you got burned trying to be a good guy and help someone out. Thats unfortunate. But trying to reason with someone with these types of disabilities is probably shoveling sand against the tide.

Well yea the kid went through a hell of a ordeal. But he is for from brain damaged. He knows right and wrong. He knows what he did. I would not physically beat him down, even though with all my might it will take me to restrain myself from doing it. I know that would be wrong.

Jake he was texting me telling me. Once I started getting mad and texting saying he better fix this right now is when he just stopped texting and kinda of bitched out and is hiding now.

I might not beat his *** to a pulp but I am going to make damn sure he has a repercussion from this. I am going to get in his face, maybe put him against a wall but he will get my point there will be no next time.

[Phobia]

Re: Advice about a theif

Write it off as a life lesson and move on Phobia. I mean in the grand scheme of things 70 dollars isn't what, 1 1/2 hours of work? Easily recouped. I would, however, let him know in no uncertain terms that until the money is returned, he's not welcome at your house or near your family.

Casting him out will do more for him then going all Tyson on his ***, trust me.

I am not expecting to get my money. I really don't care that much about the money. It is the disrespect issue of family that has me so wired.

[ANDROMADA 1]

Re: Advice about a theif

If it was me I'd give him two choices.

1)give me my money and I ask no questions.
2)I still get my money and I go to work on you.

Personally I would go with option 1.:wink: