Wife left me for another man

[Scottdau]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Actually Scott it's more then sin. It's a broken bond and promise. To me this is something big. I'm Christian as well, but I wouldn't accept this. Forgiveness is important and necessary, but in do time it will come. These wounds take time to heal. Having family and friends is very important for these difficult times. When you love someone it's very hard to let go, but you have to value yourself as well. It's really sad to hear all this. The battle is in the mind and that's why a person should keep himself occupied to distract the mind. Also He doesn't have to be nice to her. He's hurt and people are not in his shoes to understand. I'm not saying to be mean to her either, but I think he's doing the right thing by ignoring her for the moment. It's the fastest way to heal. I hope and pray everything gets better.

I agree with this. But when I said all it is SIN, I mean that is why she did what she did. The taking back part it is the tough part. Some can do it and have a great marriage. I witness that a lot of times, some can't, so they call it quits. Yeah he does has to be nice to her or at least respectful to her. Even though she hurt him she is still the mother of his children. But what he is doing is right thing though. I would be careful on the ignoring part, but that is his called. I am just sharing what I know. And this is all opinion, but being a former Pastor and counseling a number of trouble marriages, I think I have some good insights. Like I said before most likely your wife will realize what she is doing is wrong. Most people do sooner or later.

[Scottdau]

Re: Wife left me for another man

The list of changes was just a way to leave and not feel bad about doing it. Most people that say they want you to change and give you a list, is basically just wanting a reason to leave. This guy sounds like a charmer and that is the worst kind too. I hope your wife realizes this, because it wont be too long before she gets hurt. Not that you would care after what she did for you. But I will say this. You have been with this lady for 18 years. And a marriage is for better or worst. So just remember that. I have counseled many couples and one time this guy asked me if I could take back my wife if she cheated on me. I told him I honestly don't know. And according to the Bible I don't have to take her back, but it is more deeper than that though. Gary you and your family will be in my prayers. Stray strong bro.

[jeremym480]

Re: Wife left me for another man

yep. Women can do no wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Women can just wake up pissed off over nothing. Then they will look for a reason to justify their feelings. And it's usally the man. And if the man has done no wrong, she will just bring some **** up from the past. BITCHES I tell ya !



I would not be in contact with your wife unless it is necessary. Just ignore her. If she calls, don't answer. Don't answer her texts. I am wondering if your oldest child is old enough to decide which parent to live with? I forgot what age they have to be..

I agree. If there's one thing I've learned about women in my 30 years on earth it is once they seriously decided it's over.......IT'S OVER. There's no talking sense into them and theres no amount of groveling that you can do to make them change their mind. The only thing to do is to forget about a life with her and worry about protecting your family and yourself.

Gary, you deserve better man and I hope you take this ***** for all she's worth and then find someone else who truly makes you happy and doesn't require you to jump through hoops to be with them.

[Millennium]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Don't give into hate or vengeful thoughts. Part of the Lord's Prayer is "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." It might be hard, but holding a hardened heart toward someone who has wronged you is something you've gotta really purpose to fight against. It'll just eat you up inside. And kill any hope of resolution. People can try to out-hate each other, but the person doing the hating is the one who ends up hurting the most, they can't transfer their hurt onto the other person who wronged them.

If you still care for her, and really want to take the high road, be understanding and let your correct actions be the witness to show her how wrong and out in left field her actions are. Heap coals on her head with kindness. It'll be a great example for your daughters, as well. You guys need to focus on what will strengthen your family unit and not fall into the same lost, hopeless circumstance that your wife now finds herself trapped in. God Bless, Brian

P.S. Just worry about being the person that she's not right now.

And that's really alright. It's funny, that's when we can really grow in Him, during the times of crisis. But you've got to ask Him to help you forgive her. Hate her actions, not her. And use this time to get all of your relationships in order. Maybe there is a silver lining. It kind of sounds like a lot of your identity was wrapped up in her. Never let any person cause to become co-dependant to the level that you can't make it without them. There's only One who should create that level of dependancy. I'll say this, please find a minister to help you through this. There's bigger things going on than just family issues. I'm praying for you to find some peace in what appears to be the biggest storm you've faced in life, so far. God Bless, Brian

Alright, I'm going to try to do this as easily as I can.

I understand the gravity of the situation, but we can not have religious discussion. If you'd like to take it to PM, that's alright, but finding another way to support the OP needs to happen.

Sorry to be the buzzkill guys.

[USF11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I don't understand how they can know each other for 4 months and throw away their families so easily. People all over our community are shocked and outraged.

Easy, when your only with people for the "fun" courting phase, you only see the good.

Be thankful you have 2 wonderful children, don't worry about what other people think, and things will get better.

[BrianFifaFan]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Alright, I'm going to try to do this as easily as I can.

I understand the gravity of the situation, but we can not have religious discussion. If you'd like to take it to PM, that's alright, but finding another way to support the OP needs to happen.

Sorry to be the buzzkill guys.

It's cool. He had approached in that way, so I felt it was OK to respond in kind. But I understand that everyone has different views and I do know the TOS. Sorry, Chris. Won't happen anymore! If he PM's me, I'll go at it through that avenue. You should see my Facebook page. That would get me banned! LOL!

[ProjectRipCity]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Keep your family close to you, and never give into the negativity side. This can be a good as well man...No more nagging wife...No more fights. My parents recently got into a divorce...And it's killing my dad as well. My dad didnt want the divorce...My mom is an alcoholic and it hurts em inside...She had already been with 3 different men in the last year. But to show the character of my dad is he gives her $2000 instead of $1200 so she can go to school. She hasnt even looked up classes. A lot of good men get the gutter when it comes to marriage...It's a mis conception that men cannot be loyal...I think it's the other way around sometimes.

My uncle divorced when he was 38...Found this lovely woman that hes been in love with for 12 years. Your life isnt over...It's just begining man.

Take it easy and good luck to your family.

[ryan36]

Re: Wife left me for another man

I don't have anything to add, except that I'm with ya, and wish you the best.

And Mil, that's a cool way to handle it.

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

That was a great message, Project. I need to hear that there is a better life around the corner. I'm dealing with a lot of fear and uncertainty right now; I'm fearful of losing too much time with my youngest.

[Hassan Darkside]

Re: Wife left me for another man

As others said, keep people close.

It'll be rough on your daughters growing up with a single father, so I would suggest finding some kind of suitable female role model for them. Maybe you have a good female friend or sister or someone like that that can spend some time with them. As a man, you're just not always going to relate to them, and that age your oldest daughter is at can be a tough time for a girl.

Good luck getting this all sorted out.

[Hova57]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Sorry to hear this man , my brother in law and sister in law is going through this also. to make a long story short she did something when she was first married . she told him she ended up pregnant he forgave her . that child wasn't born. ten years later after a hard separation from a business he started with his best friend he went into some type of depression . he felt she wasn't there for him. he got his own place back in october and told her two weeks ago to get a lawyer. they tried to get counsel before it came to ahead but his mind was made up.

we just spent the weekend with her in Erie. Just weird to be around. they both are wrong and the ones who truly will be hurt are their 8 and 6 year olds.

[LBzrule]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Sorry to hear it man. I will say one thing and some people might think it is crazy, however, psychotherapy is GOOD. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to or take what you have to say and a therapist is paid to do just that. Keep your family close, however, also seek help for yourself so you can be what you need to be for your family.

[RoyalBoyle78]

Re: Wife left me for another man

WOW, just read this now, Sorry to hear this man, I have been through a lot of this same exact stuff. PM me if you like. Hang in there man.

[TheTurducken]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Sorry man, keep your head up and do what you feel i right for your girls.

[dorismary]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Hi Gary ,
Everything will workout for the best in the long run so be strong .
My prayers are with you and your family .